Experience with extra marital affairs!

[PAUL500]

I suspect a mumsnetter is infiltrating PH! its been worded very carefully to hide the gender of the poster.

[marksx]

Where's the OP?

Why would you post this, either as a first post, or as a post under an alternate name, at 2 in the morning, then not post again?

Odd.

[Wacky Racer]

The "partners" could be two males or two females...….Children can be adopted.....eg Elton John and David Furnish.

A very vague OP (imo).

[gazza285]

98elise said:

My Spidey senses are tingling!

Mine too, I'm out.

[Sa Calobra]

PAUL500 said:

I suspect a mumsnetter is infiltrating PH! its been worded very carefully to hide the gender of the poster.

ill intent if so. I still remember the I'd rather have anal than centre parcs raid

[anonymous-user]

Its just another fakey post the type that appears from time to time
They fall into several types.
Well written expressive detail
Well written humorous with a far fetched but …. just possibly plausible content
This falls into the first category.
Some of you are out
I was never in
I just think if its a bit ducky
Its a duck
The other thing they tend to do is be a bit OCD with their eventual replies. Carefully toiling over each one and replying individually in some cases.

Edited by anonymous-user on Sunday 13th January 11:43

[MDMA .]

techiedave said:

Its just another fakey post the type that appears from time to time

Yes. No one signs up to a car forum, waits 2 months and then the first post they make is about an affair.
Another unhinged, previous/current "member". Pretty sad really.

[enzozidanedragan]

Macneil said:

OP...is there anything you've done or not done that could have "justified the spouses actions? if your spaouse has a reason in their own mind that can be dealt with for the future, then work at it.

otherwise if you are blameless and they are a cheat bite the bullet and get it over with now.

Nope I did nothing, i was working, looking after kids and home. if anything we had grown apart due to his work commitments and it was hard to keep in touch with time zones meaning when it was his evening time and needed to call it was quite often my morning and I was rushing around to get kids ready and off to school and work. An affair is still a choice. It appears it was a perfect storm in a teacup, she apparently came into him, he enjoyed the flirting and the ego boost then one thing led to another..........however it was the continuing lies once I’d found out and wanted to know everything that is proving the hardest to get over and forgive.

[enzozidanedragan]

MDMA . said:

Yes. No one signs up to a car forum, waits 2 months and then the first post they make is about an affair.
Another unhinged, previous/current "member". Pretty sad really.

You actually can’t post on forums until you’ve been a member for over 4 weeks

[enzozidanedragan]

C4ME said:

The OP has deliberately tried very hard to disguise whether it is male or female which makes me think it is not genuine. It's a very emotional subject to be doing something so odd.

It is genuine, I am female and it’s my husband who has had the affair.

[enzozidanedragan]

LittleBigPlanet said:

Agreed. Everyone has assumed that the OP is male with a cheating wife. It actually read to me like the OP is female.

In any case, I'd find it extremely difficult to continue in such a situation, more so knowing that you really don't know the half of it due to the constant lies (despite being 'found out'). Tackle this head on and give your partner a chance to come clean on everything - if it becomes apparent later on that he/she has not be totally honest then you've made the deal clear - walk.

Note, I say this not knowing your or your family situation. It's always far easier to say than do. I'd probably be a crying mess so you've already done better than I by writing this down.

Good luck.

Thanks and yes you’re right. It was my husband who has cheated, not me.

[enzozidanedragan]

paul.deitch said:

Well it's very hard to regain trust in anyone after such an experience, but not impossible. First look at counselling. If your partner is not willing then you have your answer. Failing that think of the kids first. You can always find another partner but they'll never have another biological dad. Good luck.

Thanks

[enzozidanedragan]

mikiec said:

IMO once the trust has gone the relationship is stuffed. Carrying on an affair is a deliberate act and requires a lot of deception.
Regardless of your kids you deserve better, if I was in your shoes she would be out of house for good.

I hear what you say but it was my husband who I’d be kicking out of the house

[enzozidanedragan]

Petrus1983 said:

It’s over. Keep it civil but also appreciate that women often play mean over these things - even when they’re in the wrong.

I am the woman, it’s my husband who’s been having the affair

[enzozidanedragan]

mikiec said:

IMO once the trust has gone the relationship is stuffed. Carrying on an affair is a deliberate act and requires a lot of deception.
Regardless of your kids you deserve better, if I was in your shoes she would be out of house for good.

You’re right, and even when I found out HE lied to cover his tracks until I kept digging and found out the truth.

[enzozidanedragan]

ozzuk said:

I can't see anyway back from this - and I don't know why you would want to. It might seem not real as you haven't caught them at it - so it's likely surreal, a really bad situation that you want to avoid, not think about or ignore. Hence why you are even considering staying together.

But it has happened, and not only have they done that to you but look how easily they have lied to you. Why would you want to be with someone who has that little respect for you or the family unit. Forgiving them a one off, okay people make mistakes, but this was planned, the lying was planned and it carried on irrespective of the impact to you and the kids.

Time to toughen up, you deserve to be with someone better - or indeed on your own. Dont' be a doormat, it isn't better for the kids (sends the wrong message). All IMO of course.

Good luck.

Thank you.

[enzozidanedragan]

Sa Calobra said:

I've been on the other side of the fence. OP if you need any insight feel free to pm me.

I am new to this forum st so don’t know what op is. I kept gender ambiguous because I wanted unbiased opinions. But I am female and it was my husband who did the cheating and then the continuous lies after, the physical side I can get over but not the lies especially as his job is not going to change so he’ll still be travelling every where. He met her in 5 different worldwide locations and passed her off as his partner to hotels, airlines etc all because he’s lonely when he travels!!

[enzozidanedragan]

Sa Calobra said:

Probably because if it all goes south it's on the internet forever and a detailed description of a situation can be spotted.

Exactly.

[InitialDave]

enzozidanedragan said:

I am new to this forum st so don’t know what op is.

OP is shorthand for "original/opening post/poster".

Means they're talking to/about you.

[motco]

I have travelled internationally in the past as have many other PH contributors, and I can concur that there's little more lonely than a foreign hotel room at the beginning of a two week visit. However I suspect that a bed-sit coupled with a seriously depleted bank balance can be pretty lonely too, and that is the likely destination for a straying husband when his Good Lady catches up with his carnal frolics. I never succumbed and nor have most others whose lot involves travelling so I have no sympathy for this lady's other half. Good Luck OP!