Match.com (Vol. 7)

[throt]

Rh14n said:

throt said:

Algarve said:

If a girl on a first date made zero attempt to put her hand in her purse at all she'd immediately be recategorised from "potential partner" to "hopeful one night stand and then never contact again"

I'm happy to pay but I'd want to know I'm not being seen as a free meal ticket.

I know I know, I am wrong

You want to know the second date is happening because she wants to see ‘’you’’, not because of a free meal and drink

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Yep, I did think that. Sit opposite someone for a couple of hours that doesn’t do it for you just for a free meal

Think the guys on here would say, yes, they actually would for a freebie

[Algarve]

Rh14n said:

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Its not the free drink itself, I couldn't care less about < 50 euros of food/drink in a bar.

Its how they're going to be ongoing. I should have phrased that 'free meal ticket' better, I didn't mean it literally. I've got no interest in dating gold diggers, only sleeping with them.

[Rh14n]

Algarve said:

Rh14n said:

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Its not the free drink itself, I couldn't care less about < 50 euros of food/drink in a bar.

Its how they're going to be ongoing. I should have phrased that 'free meal ticket' better, I didn't mean it literally. I've got no interest in dating gold diggers, only sleeping with them.

Again though, they'd have to be really desperate to spend hours and hours/months of their time, having sex with a man who they don't like. In all honesty, the percentage of women who would do this must be very small.

[Algarve]

Rh14n said:

Again though, they'd have to be really desperate to spend hours and hours/months of their time, having sex with a man who they don't like. In all honesty, the percentage of women who would do this must be very small.

When I was on those sort of sites (a few years ago) I'd say it was over 50% who would expect a bloke to pay for everything. Maybe I just wasn't very good at picking them

[BritishBlitz87]

I've got an old etiquette book from the late 40s, but I think the guidance on who should pay is still valid.

The man should always offer to pay, if he invited the woman out, and it is polite for the woman to accept on the first date, but if the woman invited him out the man shouldn't offer to pay if he wants to be respectful. If the man is a friend or the meeting is mutually agreed, the man should still offer to pay, but it would be rude for the woman not to at least offer to pay her share.

If she decides not to offer to pay her share past the first few dates, despite knowing the man is on a similar income this is very impolite. (Much more common in the 40s I'd imagine)

[V8covin]

Rh14n said:

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Or,she could like you but still believe a man should pay or is just tight with money.Either of those scenarios are more likely than yours

[throt]

V8covin said:

Rh14n said:

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Or,she could like you but still believe a man should pay or is just tight with money.Either of those scenarios are more likely than yours

That’s very true too

A lady might just be content with a companionship set up. As blitz says above, the guy then offers her out and she thinks , yep, why not, he is obviously treating me.

Boils down too, both male and female just doing the decent thing

Its still seems to be down to the guy to make the first move with asking for a date. So, I be happy to cough up for the first meet.

Second date, that’s the teller .

[LordHaveMurci]

Turned up for my date earlier, turns out she’d booked a table at the expensive gastro pub & sat down to roast lamb & 2 desserts, I had already eaten so felt rather awkward & ordered a token portion of chips!
I assumed we were just meeting for drinks.
I went halves with her, not sure what her intentions were TBH, didn’t help that they tried overcharging us by £12 either

[throt]

LordHaveMurci said:

Turned up for my date earlier, turns out she’d booked a table at the expensive gastro pub & sat down to roast lamb & 2 desserts, I had already eaten so felt rather awkward & ordered a token portion of chips!
I assumed we were just meeting for drinks.
I went halves with her, not sure what her intentions were TBH, didn’t help that they tried overcharging us by £12 either

Haha,
Bless her making a effort. I can only imagine you sitting there not feeling hungry at all, jeeps.

Did you like her, if I may ask ?

[Honk]

LordHaveMurci said:

Turned up for my date earlier, turns out she’d booked a table at the expensive gastro pub & sat down to roast lamb & 2 desserts, I had already eaten so felt rather awkward & ordered a token portion of chips!
I assumed we were just meeting for drinks.
I went halves with her, not sure what her intentions were TBH, didn’t help that they tried overcharging us by £12 either

How dirty?

[Rh14n]

V8covin said:

Rh14n said:

I know PHers are generally dubious of women's intentions, but how cynical do you have to be to think that a woman would consider it worthwhile to endure spending a couple of hours sitting opposite a man whose company is not enjoyable just for the sake of a free meal and/or drink?

Or,she could like you but still believe a man should pay or is just tight with money.Either of those scenarios are more likely than yours

Fair comment. I'm female but not of that mindset. I suppose some still feel that way but I'd be really rather embarrassed on their behalf .

[LordHaveMurci]

throt said:

Haha,
Bless her making a effort. I can only imagine you sitting there not feeling hungry at all, jeeps.

Did you like her, if I may ask ?

It was a pleasant evening, not sure it’s going to go anywhere though, especially going into LD2 in a few days.

[throt]

LordHaveMurci said:

It was a pleasant evening, not sure it’s going to go anywhere though, especially going into LD2 in a few days.

It’s only for 4 weeks, well, initially.

See how the after chats go then

All the best

[Blown2CV]

i'm pretty far from being a lefty modern millenial but some of this etiquette chat is making me feel like a spring chicken so thank you for that.... seriously almost nothing in the arena of male/female interaction from the 1940s is relevant or usable in 2020. I suppose any 40-going-on-85 man about town in his driving gloves and stiffly starched shirt who waves around an 80 year old relationship advice book probably also wants a woman to behave like she's treating the female version of the book as a bible. You'll be starching that shirt, roasting meat and two veg, not daring to asking about his work or trouble him with irrelevant household matters, taking the occasional belt over the arse for mis-speaking and of course be immaculately turned out at all times. Also he'll be constantly wondering whether he can get away with slapping the arse of cheeky 'little girls' he's hired too. fking Leslie Phillips bounder.

[Saleen836]

Can tell it is getting close to Christmas as I have had more matches/messages than normal in the past couple days

[Blown2CV]

Saleen836 said:

Can tell it is getting close to Christmas as I have had more matches/messages than normal in the past couple days

cuffing season. Gotta get that Michael Kors

[csd19]

Rh14n said:

Again though, they'd have to be really desperate to spend hours and hours/months of their time, having sex with a man who they don't like. In all honesty, the percentage of women who would do this must be very small.

The marriage thread is that way - - - - - >

[shirt]

Blown2CV said:

i'm pretty far from being a lefty modern millenial but some of this etiquette chat is making me feel like a spring chicken so thank you for that.... seriously almost nothing in the arena of male/female interaction from the 1940s is relevant or usable in 2020. I suppose any 40-going-on-85 man about town in his driving gloves and stiffly starched shirt who waves around an 80 year old relationship advice book probably also wants a woman to behave like she's treating the female version of the book as a bible. You'll be starching that shirt, roasting meat and two veg, not daring to asking about his work or trouble him with irrelevant household matters, taking the occasional belt over the arse for mis-speaking and of course be immaculately turned out at all times. Also he'll be constantly wondering whether he can get away with slapping the arse of cheeky 'little girls' he's hired too. fking Leslie Phillips bounder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

[cherie171]

Just to chip in my thoughts on the 'who pays' for what:

I have no problem in paying my share on a first date, the exception would be booking somewhere expensive without agreement first, and then expecting me to go halves would be a red flag.

The guy I'm currently dating, our first date was a pub local to me for drinks. As he had made the effort to drive over, I paid. Then as neither of us were actually comfortable in the pub, we were getting on as well in person as we were in our messages, I offered to cook dinner. That wasn't a foregone conclusion to the date, if there hadn't been anything there, it would have stayed at just a couple of drinks.

A month later and we're generally alternating who is providing dinner and/or paying. Although I have no problem taking the lion's share at the moment, as I'm working full he's currently retraining at Uni full time (injuries from a motorbike accident forced him to take a different career path), and so is mostly living on a student finance loan. We've both been fairly open with regards to finances and plans, without divulging any actual figures, so neither of us have unfair expectations from the other.

[Taylor James]

Expensive venues for a first date seem a bit daft to me. An expensive way to find out you have no base compatibility, potential tension over who pays and a chance for one of you to be exploited. Wetherspoons might be the other extreme but what's wrong with coffee or a couple of drinks before progressing to the heady heights of a mid-priced Italian or Chinese and splitting the bill. After that, don't people keep the expensive stuff for special occasions?