I think my girlfriend is a *****
Discussion
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
Petrolsniffed said:
Christmas is about family time. Once you get past the excitement of Santa coming, which does return when you have little ones, Christmas is about spending time with loved ones. It may be cramped, it may be manic but that's what it has to be for me. Easier as my wife and I are both from small families.
Think your partner is being a bit of a dick to be honest. Delay the meal a bit, set an extra place. Create a new tradition.
I agree with this.Think your partner is being a bit of a dick to be honest. Delay the meal a bit, set an extra place. Create a new tradition.
I like Christmas at my place, I cook and invariably we have more people than we really should do but we have a lovely time, this year it had started out with myself, the wife and youngest then the MIL was added, my mum may come but she isn't sure yet as it depends on what my sister has planned but hey it doesn't matter as I'm easy on this sort of thing.
Now my eldest and grandson will be here as her other half is now working, so now we have gone from 3 to probably 7 plus also 6 dogs and in the evening there will be 3 more; eldest's boyfriend and a friend of ours and her son......all in a 2 bed house, it's a squeeze but it's great fun.
And has for the OP's girlfriend worrying about their youngests first Christmas being ruined, what sort of f
king excuse is that, he/she won't care about whats going on!!People make Christmas so difficult, I know people who dread Christmas just because of all the family issues that crop up; trying to please people who really should know better!
Edited by HTP99 on Saturday 16th November 19:03
Maybe she's an introvert like me. The thought of sharing a small house with a bunch of people making noise and expecting me to have "fun" is exhausting just to think about. I'd be like, "fine, come round, I'll head out for the day and spend it inside a cardboard box somewhere quiet"!
)xx99xx said:
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
I do have a level of autism. I totally get why she may have reacted in this way, I generally would do the same. I will form a plan in my mind work it all out, then any disruption such as this, it send me into a total spin & I don't react well. Give me time to restructure my plan in my mind & I'll come round. I have been the chef for Christmas dinner in our family for at least the last 15 years. Well, up until my divorce last year.
The numbers vary but it was rarely fewer than 12, and sometimes up to 20. I always aim for sit down at 2pm, and always fail. I don't think we ever sat down before 3.30. I'm probably not the only one. My point? This isn't about a delay to eating Christmas dinner, your partner doesn't want your sister there for Christmas. You ought to find out why not.
And this year I'll be stuck in Kuwait, working on Christmas day and cooking for one. But it will still be a turkey with trimmings, and at least I'll still be sober when I've finished cooking it.
The numbers vary but it was rarely fewer than 12, and sometimes up to 20. I always aim for sit down at 2pm, and always fail. I don't think we ever sat down before 3.30. I'm probably not the only one. My point? This isn't about a delay to eating Christmas dinner, your partner doesn't want your sister there for Christmas. You ought to find out why not.
And this year I'll be stuck in Kuwait, working on Christmas day and cooking for one. But it will still be a turkey with trimmings, and at least I'll still be sober when I've finished cooking it.
People don't like their Christmases being messed with! Particularly if there's young kids involved, it has to be just as they remember. (My wife's family say all the parental gifts come from Santa, which means it looks like we've never given our kids a Christmas present! Weird IMO, but I've long accepted it's an argument I can't win. 
)
Personally I find the whole lunch at 2-3 thing a bit odd. I'm starving and grumpy by that stage, or I've already had a snack that could be called lunch. I'd just eat as normal and let them join in later at the leftover grazing stage or do a nice brunch and eat the main meal at 5.30-6. It sounds like your gf would prefer the first option.
)Personally I find the whole lunch at 2-3 thing a bit odd. I'm starving and grumpy by that stage, or I've already had a snack that could be called lunch. I'd just eat as normal and let them join in later at the leftover grazing stage or do a nice brunch and eat the main meal at 5.30-6. It sounds like your gf would prefer the first option.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
My MIL likes to play the ‘i’m in charge and you’ll do as i say or else’ game. First time she tried it i opted for the or else option. Nothing happened
Ever since then i just laugh at her when she starts, drives her potty.
Apparently she demands everyone goes to her house at christmas time....yep i ignored that too and this year, we are going away. BIL will be with his gf and another of the siblings is at her inlaws so only be about 5 people at hers then.
It's funny how Christmas brings out the worst in people and families, I worked with a guy who had only Christmas day and boxing day off over the Christmas period, he spent those 2 days just driving up and down the country pleasing selfish parents from both sides, he didn't even spend Christmas lunch with his wife; she ate at her parents, he ate at his and then he drove across the country to get to his wife in the evening at her parents and then Boxing day afternoon they both home.
Sod that, but then he'd made a rod for his own back going along with it for so long.
Sod that, but then he'd made a rod for his own back going along with it for so long.
For Christmas Day we try to alternate it, one year at my parents (with brother and sister in law) the other we just go away, even if it's nowhere exotic, just the two of us. Her parents have banned us from going there. As a mercy, it's always angry and awful apparently.
One year we bent over backwards to fit round my family and it all backfired (mainly my fault for poor planning).
It works for us, I'm big on the traditional Christmas with the family, my Mrs isn't, so the alternating thing is fair.
Interesting reading about the slight Asperger's thing someone wrote above. Reminds me of my Mrs a bit when plans change last minute or there's chaos.
One year we bent over backwards to fit round my family and it all backfired (mainly my fault for poor planning).
It works for us, I'm big on the traditional Christmas with the family, my Mrs isn't, so the alternating thing is fair.
Interesting reading about the slight Asperger's thing someone wrote above. Reminds me of my Mrs a bit when plans change last minute or there's chaos.
xx99xx said:
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
I think there's something to this. Mrs PR is a bit of a control freak, stuff has to planned, deviations are stressful. She'd rather abandon than be flexible. She may be on the spectrum.
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