I think my girlfriend is a *****

I think my girlfriend is a *****

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Discussion

PSB1

2,003 posts

52 months

Saturday 16th November
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scrubchub said:
TEKNOPUG said:
Pretty difficult without photos.
That stopped being funny at least a decade ago.
Mumsnet’s over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

(Presumably that’s just as bad?)

Sheets Tabuer

15,189 posts

163 months

Saturday 16th November
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It is not your mothers place to invite others to your house on christmas day. if she wanted to entertain your sister she should stay home and invite her there not invite her to someone elses house.

I'd be pretty pissed off too.

OldGermanHeaps

2,316 posts

126 months

Saturday 16th November
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is there history of your sister causing drama?
that would explain the girlfriends reaction.

S1KRR

10,863 posts

160 months

Saturday 16th November
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Jasandjules said:
What about saying you can do your "Christmas Day" on Boxing Day and do it the way she wants so that you can help your sister out at Christmas....
That!

Sister around on Boxing Day!

xx99xx

458 posts

21 months

Saturday 16th November
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I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.


schmalex

13,146 posts

154 months

Saturday 16th November
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Jesus, OP. Really?

HTP99

15,312 posts

88 months

Saturday 16th November
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Petrolsniffed said:
Christmas is about family time. Once you get past the excitement of Santa coming, which does return when you have little ones, Christmas is about spending time with loved ones. It may be cramped, it may be manic but that's what it has to be for me. Easier as my wife and I are both from small families.

Think your partner is being a bit of a dick to be honest. Delay the meal a bit, set an extra place. Create a new tradition.
I agree with this.

I like Christmas at my place, I cook and invariably we have more people than we really should do but we have a lovely time, this year it had started out with myself, the wife and youngest then the MIL was added, my mum may come but she isn't sure yet as it depends on what my sister has planned but hey it doesn't matter as I'm easy on this sort of thing.

Now my eldest and grandson will be here as her other half is now working, so now we have gone from 3 to probably 7 plus also 6 dogs and in the evening there will be 3 more; eldest's boyfriend and a friend of ours and her son......all in a 2 bed house, it's a squeeze but it's great fun.

And has for the OP's girlfriend worrying about their youngests first Christmas being ruined, what sort of fking excuse is that, he/she won't care about whats going on!!

People make Christmas so difficult, I know people who dread Christmas just because of all the family issues that crop up; trying to please people who really should know better!


Edited by HTP99 on Saturday 16th November 19:03

MitchT

12,727 posts

157 months

Saturday 16th November
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Maybe she's an introvert like me. The thought of sharing a small house with a bunch of people making noise and expecting me to have "fun" is exhausting just to think about. I'd be like, "fine, come round, I'll head out for the day and spend it inside a cardboard box somewhere quiet"!

csd19

900 posts

65 months

Saturday 16th November
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El stovey said:
So it basically the fault of

The girlfriend for being selfish
The sister for not getting married and then splitting up
The mum for interfering


hehe
Snakes with tits, they're all snakes with tits!!

(j/k, before the white knights appear and have an aneurysm... tongue out)

Vandenberg

1,557 posts

81 months

Saturday 16th November
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Inconsiderate of the sister considering the timing.

Am with the GF on this.

Schmed

1,294 posts

20 months

Saturday 16th November
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I expected so much more from opening this thread.

OzzyR1

3,996 posts

180 months

Sunday 17th November
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Schmed said:
I expected so much more from opening this thread.
Yup, I can't be the only person who read the ***** in the title an immediately thought wh0re!!

Disappointing really, hope the OP finds a solution to suit all parties though.

mike74

1,472 posts

80 months

Sunday 17th November
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Dixy said:
Does no one get married and stay married.
Not when the welfare state is so generous at rewarding people who choose to have kids they can't otherwise afford (both singles and couples)

GT03ROB

8,070 posts

169 months

Sunday 17th November
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xx99xx said:
I think unless your Mrs has OCD, Asperger's, autism etc then she is being unreasonable. A slight delay to meal time shouldn't bother most people. Therefore there is more to it that she isn't telling. If you genuinely liked someone then you wouldn't mind if they came round to see you, even at short notice.
I do have a level of autism. I totally get why she may have reacted in this way, I generally would do the same. I will form a plan in my mind work it all out, then any disruption such as this, it send me into a total spin & I don't react well. Give me time to restructure my plan in my mind & I'll come round.


hutchst

1,688 posts

44 months

Sunday 17th November
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I have been the chef for Christmas dinner in our family for at least the last 15 years. Well, up until my divorce last year.

The numbers vary but it was rarely fewer than 12, and sometimes up to 20. I always aim for sit down at 2pm, and always fail. I don't think we ever sat down before 3.30. I'm probably not the only one. My point? This isn't about a delay to eating Christmas dinner, your partner doesn't want your sister there for Christmas. You ought to find out why not.

And this year I'll be stuck in Kuwait, working on Christmas day and cooking for one. But it will still be a turkey with trimmings, and at least I'll still be sober when I've finished cooking it.

Bill

40,176 posts

203 months

Sunday 17th November
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People don't like their Christmases being messed with! Particularly if there's young kids involved, it has to be just as they remember. (My wife's family say all the parental gifts come from Santa, which means it looks like we've never given our kids a Christmas present! Weird IMO, but I've long accepted it's an argument I can't win. biggrin )

Personally I find the whole lunch at 2-3 thing a bit odd. I'm starving and grumpy by that stage, or I've already had a snack that could be called lunch. I'd just eat as normal and let them join in later at the leftover grazing stage or do a nice brunch and eat the main meal at 5.30-6. It sounds like your gf would prefer the first option.

Isaac Hunt

10,617 posts

159 months

Sunday 17th November
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RammyMP said:
I agree with your girlfriend to be honest, I have the same st every Christmas Day with the wife’s family, it all revolves around them and we have to fit in.

I know it’s only one day and all that but it gets on my tits. Last year we went on holiday for Christmas, just me, the wife and the kids, it was great!
Yep, I am going against the grain and agreeing with the above.

No mention of your GFs family. If they are around, why are they not coming for Christmas Day?

Believe me, this will be your future for the next 20 years. Much better to set a precedent now and go away every year.

Thanks to a matriarch MiL I never got to see my family at Christmas. My parents used to say they didn't mind. But I did, more so now they are gone and the MiL is still around making demands.


slopes

29,505 posts

135 months

Sunday 17th November
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Isaac Hunt said:
Yep, I am going against the grain and agreeing with the above.

No mention of your GFs family. If they are around, why are they not coming for Christmas Day?

Believe me, this will be your future for the next 20 years. Much better to set a precedent now and go away every year.

Thanks to a matriarch MiL I never got to see my family at Christmas. My parents used to say they didn't mind. But I did, more so now they are gone and the MiL is still around making demands.
My MIL likes to play the ‘i’m in charge and you’ll do as i say or else’ game. First time she tried it i opted for the or else option.
Nothing happened
Ever since then i just laugh at her when she starts, drives her potty.
Apparently she demands everyone goes to her house at christmas time....yep i ignored that too and this year, we are going away. BIL will be with his gf and another of the siblings is at her inlaws so only be about 5 people at hers then.


HTP99

15,312 posts

88 months

Sunday 17th November
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It's funny how Christmas brings out the worst in people and families, I worked with a guy who had only Christmas day and boxing day off over the Christmas period, he spent those 2 days just driving up and down the country pleasing selfish parents from both sides, he didn't even spend Christmas lunch with his wife; she ate at her parents, he ate at his and then he drove across the country to get to his wife in the evening at her parents and then Boxing day afternoon they both home.

Sod that, but then he'd made a rod for his own back going along with it for so long.

Isaac Hunt

10,617 posts

159 months

Sunday 17th November
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slopes said:
My MIL likes to play the ‘i’m in charge and you’ll do as i say or else’ game. First time she tried it i opted for the or else option.
Nothing happened
Ever since then i just laugh at her when she starts, drives her potty.
Apparently she demands everyone goes to her house at christmas time....yep i ignored that too and this year, we are going away. BIL will be with his gf and another of the siblings is at her inlaws so only be about 5 people at hers then.
I wish I had done this. However the OH doesn't want to stand up to their Mum.

There is no where to sit other than at the table, and last year I spent the following three days with back ache. One year I went down with Chicken pox on Christmas Eve and had to stay at home on my own. Best Christmas ever.