Thrown out of pub - stories
Discussion
Student days
Discovered a way of bumping the pool table,always free pool for us
Guy walks in puts his money down
No need for that we say and proudly demo our bumping skills.
He steps out and returns with the landlord
Turns out he was the captain of the pool team and was good mates with the landlord,and we had just earned ourselves a ban
Discovered a way of bumping the pool table,always free pool for us
Guy walks in puts his money down
No need for that we say and proudly demo our bumping skills.
He steps out and returns with the landlord
Turns out he was the captain of the pool team and was good mates with the landlord,and we had just earned ourselves a ban
Early 90s at the Anchor Inn, Barcombe near Lewes, only me and my wife in there, we were discussing whether to have another drink or go home when the landlord asked us to leave as he was closing and going to bed.
It was 8.30 on a Saturday night!
The pub's about a mile up a dead end road and the landlord was about 90.
It was 8.30 on a Saturday night!
The pub's about a mile up a dead end road and the landlord was about 90.
Three times from memory.
First time, I was 15, walked into a pub with a schoolmate. "Hello, a pint of beer please" was met with "turn around and f
k off". Lots of laughs from the locals. It's been 14 years and we haven't been back to that pub since.
Second time many years later, I went for a few beers with friends but I was on call so I was also driving. Standing next to a friend playing the fruity, I got a tap on the shoulder saying "right mate, you're drunk, you need to leave now." I was confused, politely asked what made the bouncer think that, to which I was asked "you either walk out or we throw you out." I said I'd leave on my own two feet, but could I at least finish my (soft) drink and say bye to my friends? Nope, leave now, you need to go, you're drunk. So, off I wandered outside, and then once I was told to fk off, asked if I could go back in to get my car keys. The bouncers told me I was talking st, but one of the bar staff had come out for a smoke so I asked her if she could grab my car keys as the three J2O's I drank were obviously laced with alcohol. She brought the manager out as she was confused, to whom I said that I'd been kicked out for being drunk - I've had soft drinks all night and not been allowed back in the establishment, so unless he (the manager) sorted things out very quickly then I would be calling the police to report my car TWOC as the establishment had possession of my keys and was denying me entry to retrieve them. The manager gave the bouncers a bit of a dressing down, my favourite moment was when the head bouncer came over and was told, "you missed someone pissing against the front door last week, and now you're kicking people out who are sober and parked in our car park. Tell your guys to leave, you're not getting paid for this weekend. If this guy [pointing at me] doesn't call the police then I fkING WILL!!"
Third time, a few months ago, I was drunk and fell off a chair. I was told to go for a piss, grab my things, and go home. I knew my time was up, fair cop, the guy behind the bar threw me a free bottle of water as well which was nice. The bouncers knew I wasn't trouble and just told me "mate, best you get yourself home before you do something silly." My last memory is wishing the entire pub a good evening before stumbling home. Still drink in there occasionally.
Edit: just remembered a fourth time from my local, they were hosting a pool tournament as the nearby usual venue was undergoing urgent building works. I'd booked a table for a few friends, nothing serious, just the usual Friday evening shoot pool and talk st. The pub landlords are friends of ours so when we walked in and found all the pool tables full of nonces in Nissan Micras complaining how the cue balls had micro-dents in them and the tables were more than 6 months old, we were told to have a beer elsewhere and when the nonces were done, we'd get free play on pool and snooker for an evening. I've never seen the snooker machine show 999:99 on the timer before. The landlady also gave the 5 of us a free round of drinks.
First time, I was 15, walked into a pub with a schoolmate. "Hello, a pint of beer please" was met with "turn around and f
k off". Lots of laughs from the locals. It's been 14 years and we haven't been back to that pub since.Second time many years later, I went for a few beers with friends but I was on call so I was also driving. Standing next to a friend playing the fruity, I got a tap on the shoulder saying "right mate, you're drunk, you need to leave now." I was confused, politely asked what made the bouncer think that, to which I was asked "you either walk out or we throw you out." I said I'd leave on my own two feet, but could I at least finish my (soft) drink and say bye to my friends? Nope, leave now, you need to go, you're drunk. So, off I wandered outside, and then once I was told to f
k off, asked if I could go back in to get my car keys. The bouncers told me I was talking st, but one of the bar staff had come out for a smoke so I asked her if she could grab my car keys as the three J2O's I drank were obviously laced with alcohol. She brought the manager out as she was confused, to whom I said that I'd been kicked out for being drunk - I've had soft drinks all night and not been allowed back in the establishment, so unless he (the manager) sorted things out very quickly then I would be calling the police to report my car TWOC as the establishment had possession of my keys and was denying me entry to retrieve them. The manager gave the bouncers a bit of a dressing down, my favourite moment was when the head bouncer came over and was told, "you missed someone pissing against the front door last week, and now you're kicking people out who are sober and parked in our car park. Tell your guys to leave, you're not getting paid for this weekend. If this guy [pointing at me] doesn't call the police then I fkING WILL!!"Third time, a few months ago, I was drunk and fell off a chair. I was told to go for a piss, grab my things, and go home. I knew my time was up, fair cop, the guy behind the bar threw me a free bottle of water as well which was nice. The bouncers knew I wasn't trouble and just told me "mate, best you get yourself home before you do something silly." My last memory is wishing the entire pub a good evening before stumbling home. Still drink in there occasionally.
Edit: just remembered a fourth time from my local, they were hosting a pool tournament as the nearby usual venue was undergoing urgent building works. I'd booked a table for a few friends, nothing serious, just the usual Friday evening shoot pool and talk s
t. The pub landlords are friends of ours so when we walked in and found all the pool tables full of nonces in Nissan Micras complaining how the cue balls had micro-dents in them and the tables were more than 6 months old, we were told to have a beer elsewhere and when the nonces were done, we'd get free play on pool and snooker for an evening. I've never seen the snooker machine show 999:99 on the timer before. The landlady also gave the 5 of us a free round of drinks.Edited by Second Best on Sunday 8th December 02:36
i got barred from a pub/club type venue when I was in my early 20s and I wasn’t even there. It was a pub downstairs and a “nightclub”
Upstairs. One of our friends worked there and the deal was that if we got every drink off the bar before he put the last one down we would only be charged for the last one. Many many cheap nights were enjoyed.
Until that is one of my group of friends went to the bar to buy his round and shouted down the bar “oi Gary don’t forget to only charge us for the last one yeah” right infront of the boss. Cue everyone being thrown out and Gary being fired. I wasn’t there, I was in Hong Kong and knew nothing of this. Two weeks later I try to get in to be told “fk off you’re barred for stealing” to which i vocally protested and then I found myself off my feet being carried along by two bouncers who promptly deposited me into the local water feature and said “ok you’re barred because your friends are thieving bds”
Upstairs. One of our friends worked there and the deal was that if we got every drink off the bar before he put the last one down we would only be charged for the last one. Many many cheap nights were enjoyed.
Until that is one of my group of friends went to the bar to buy his round and shouted down the bar “oi Gary don’t forget to only charge us for the last one yeah” right infront of the boss. Cue everyone being thrown out and Gary being fired. I wasn’t there, I was in Hong Kong and knew nothing of this. Two weeks later I try to get in to be told “f
k off you’re barred for stealing” to which i vocally protested and then I found myself off my feet being carried along by two bouncers who promptly deposited me into the local water feature and said “ok you’re barred because your friends are thieving bds” Never been thrown out of a pub as a result of my own actions, yes, I know, I'm a bit boring.
Was in a pub in Oxford in the 1970's, the one near the bus station enjoying a drink with friends, another group were having good sport winding up the landlord. He got so mad that he chucked everyone out at 9:30(pm) and shut up shop!
Was in a pub in Oxford in the 1970's, the one near the bus station enjoying a drink with friends, another group were having good sport winding up the landlord. He got so mad that he chucked everyone out at 9:30(pm) and shut up shop!
I got thrown out for consuming (on a bet) pickled eggs and guiness...... Or to be more accurate the bar clearing aftermath of said bet.
Also barred for a friend on a very drunken night telling the landlord to f off after he objected To us deciding it was a good idea to move a table and chairs out in to the middle of the road.
Almost got away with it too.
Also barred for a friend on a very drunken night telling the landlord to f off after he objected To us deciding it was a good idea to move a table and chairs out in to the middle of the road.
Almost got away with it too.
Plenty of times, usually for not giving the bouncers the respect they felt they deserved.
As a student in Edinburgh I was attempting to enter a club called Espionage after an evening boozing in the grassmarket.
Walked up to the door and the bouncer wouldn't let me in. Few words exchanged, nothing over the top.
Anyway, this place has about 5 floors and this was the bottom entrance, so I walked slowly around the corner and up the hill to the front door and walked straight in. Had a pint on every floor and by the time it was closing time I made a point of leaving through the bottom door and patted the bouncer on the shoulder and thanked him for a great night. Lift-time ban handed out on the spot. Over reaction from the man in black.
Bouncers just have no sense of humour these days. At other times it seems like they are on the pull and try and throw out anyone they see as competition.
As a student in Edinburgh I was attempting to enter a club called Espionage after an evening boozing in the grassmarket.
Walked up to the door and the bouncer wouldn't let me in. Few words exchanged, nothing over the top.
Anyway, this place has about 5 floors and this was the bottom entrance, so I walked slowly around the corner and up the hill to the front door and walked straight in. Had a pint on every floor and by the time it was closing time I made a point of leaving through the bottom door and patted the bouncer on the shoulder and thanked him for a great night. Lift-time ban handed out on the spot. Over reaction from the man in black.
Bouncers just have no sense of humour these days. At other times it seems like they are on the pull and try and throw out anyone they see as competition.
Woody John said:
Plenty of times, usually for not giving the bouncers the respect they felt they deserved.
As a student in Edinburgh I was attempting to enter a club called Espionage after an evening boozing in the grassmarket.
Walked up to the door and the bouncer wouldn't let me in. Few words exchanged, nothing over the top.
Anyway, this place has about 5 floors and this was the bottom entrance, so I walked slowly around the corner and up the hill to the front door and walked straight in. Had a pint on every floor and by the time it was closing time I made a point of leaving through the bottom door and patted the bouncer on the shoulder and thanked him for a great night. Lift-time ban handed out on the spot. Over reaction from the man in black.
Bouncers just have no sense of humour these days. At other times it seems like they are on the pull and try and throw out anyone they see as competition.
As a student in Edinburgh I was attempting to enter a club called Espionage after an evening boozing in the grassmarket.
Walked up to the door and the bouncer wouldn't let me in. Few words exchanged, nothing over the top.
Anyway, this place has about 5 floors and this was the bottom entrance, so I walked slowly around the corner and up the hill to the front door and walked straight in. Had a pint on every floor and by the time it was closing time I made a point of leaving through the bottom door and patted the bouncer on the shoulder and thanked him for a great night. Lift-time ban handed out on the spot. Over reaction from the man in black.
Bouncers just have no sense of humour these days. At other times it seems like they are on the pull and try and throw out anyone they see as competition.
some place.Age 15, local boozer - land lord eventually cottoned on we were underage. We went to another pub which gladly served us although we got kicked out of that one for bringing in underage girls (some of who were the oldest in my year) - I guess the landlord didn't mind groups of guys but didn't want mixed groups in his pub. Then in 6th form we would flip between 2 pubs, get barred from one for being under age and go to the other one. Vice versa then until we were all > 18.
Kicked out of a nightclub in Rome for being blind drunk. Been kicked out of a club a couple of times in Waikiki too - the 2nd time I argued I wasn't that drunk and got allowed back in, after which a load of yanks decided to do shots with me. Good times.
Not been kicked out of anywhere for a long time now. Getting too sensible!
Kicked out of a nightclub in Rome for being blind drunk. Been kicked out of a club a couple of times in Waikiki too - the 2nd time I argued I wasn't that drunk and got allowed back in, after which a load of yanks decided to do shots with me. Good times.
Not been kicked out of anywhere for a long time now. Getting too sensible!
No pub but a few night clubs. Went to see Dave Pearce in a local nightclub when he was in his prime. Had a few drinks before hand getting ready for what would be an epic night and then found one of my female friends crying. Asked her what was up and a bouncer comes over and throws me out. She explains it was not me but once out your not getting back in.
Went to Macdonald's where I sat well pissed off as my mates text telling me how amazing it was.
Went to Macdonald's where I sat well pissed off as my mates text telling me how amazing it was.
Me and Dirky Dirk of this parish, got refused entry to a Nightclub, the "Valley Lodge" near the Manchester Airport runways, they had changed it and decided it was exclusive, and me and the man werent up to muster, so we went into the hotel above and navigated through the stairs and kitchens to emerge triumphantly, for free into the club, right into a grumpy bouncer who had seen us refused entry, so we were ejected for a second time that night 
Same place, local companies Christmas do, the man does the talking saying we know "John from accounts" and get let in, we lasted a little while and then are spotted by the office harridan and unceremoniously ejected into the night.
Same place, local companies Christmas do, the man does the talking saying we know "John from accounts" and get let in, we lasted a little while and then are spotted by the office harridan and unceremoniously ejected into the night.
New Years Eve. Hikiking holiday break from Uni. Yorkshire, 1989(?). Blue Stropes in Dronfield I think it was. Edit to add.
We bagged the last table int pub when it opened at seven pm (remember that pubs not being open all day). Was a pissing down day and we'd got soaked outside drinking stella waiting for the place to open for the evening session, having being out from 12 until 3pm when the pubs shut that afternoon.
Our group grew from the original four or so until there was about ten of us, having blagged chairs and stools from elsewhere in the pub (proper old school pub this, with two snugs, a lounge, a bar and a locals taproom).
By 10:30 the heat off the fire was getting far too much. So in our wisdom, we started in each round getting a couple of "glasses of tapwater". These were saved up until we had about 12 and then were dumped upon the fire.
A) Boiling steam in a packed pub is not good for your skin.
B) 12 pints of water on a fire causes also a lot of smoke and the fire alarm to activate.
C) Real effect gas fires look a lot like a real wood burning fire when you are 18 and have no tolerance to alcohol and have been drinking for the last 7 - 10 hours.
EDIT was editing when Simoid added lower post. OK, we didn't get kicked out. The fire alram meant everyone went out. We didn't however get let back in, which was a shame, as we'd 28 cans of Stella still in their in our "rucksac" that we'd actually being drinking at 55p a can instead of £1.80 a pint!
Also in late 1990s got thrown out a bar in Florida somewhere on the Turnpike South of Miami as we walked in (five males). Kevin the Loud from Middlesboro in our group says "we're on the way to Key West................".
Bartender replies "You sound funny, are you queers?".
Keven replies "Isn't that your state anthem "Beers, Steers and Queers, which one do you want us to be......".
We got the same look that Top Gear did and no apologising that 'Beers Steers and Queers' was a RevCo song about Texas (cheers Kevin) and 'confederate redneck' (Kevins' kind closing words as we left the bar, those boys from 'Boro like a fight) kept us looking over our shoulders for a good few toll booths down the Turnpike!
We bagged the last table int pub when it opened at seven pm (remember that pubs not being open all day). Was a pissing down day and we'd got soaked outside drinking stella waiting for the place to open for the evening session, having being out from 12 until 3pm when the pubs shut that afternoon.
Our group grew from the original four or so until there was about ten of us, having blagged chairs and stools from elsewhere in the pub (proper old school pub this, with two snugs, a lounge, a bar and a locals taproom).
By 10:30 the heat off the fire was getting far too much. So in our wisdom, we started in each round getting a couple of "glasses of tapwater". These were saved up until we had about 12 and then were dumped upon the fire.
A) Boiling steam in a packed pub is not good for your skin.
B) 12 pints of water on a fire causes also a lot of smoke and the fire alarm to activate.
C) Real effect gas fires look a lot like a real wood burning fire when you are 18 and have no tolerance to alcohol and have been drinking for the last 7 - 10 hours.
EDIT was editing when Simoid added lower post. OK, we didn't get kicked out. The fire alram meant everyone went out. We didn't however get let back in, which was a shame, as we'd 28 cans of Stella still in their in our "rucksac" that we'd actually being drinking at 55p a can instead of £1.80 a pint!
Also in late 1990s got thrown out a bar in Florida somewhere on the Turnpike South of Miami as we walked in (five males). Kevin the Loud from Middlesboro in our group says "we're on the way to Key West................".
Bartender replies "You sound funny, are you queers?".
Keven replies "Isn't that your state anthem "Beers, Steers and Queers, which one do you want us to be......".
We got the same look that Top Gear did and no apologising that 'Beers Steers and Queers' was a RevCo song about Texas (cheers Kevin) and 'confederate redneck' (Kevins' kind closing words as we left the bar, those boys from 'Boro like a fight) kept us looking over our shoulders for a good few toll booths down the Turnpike!
Edited by StanleyT on Sunday 8th December 22:43
Edited by StanleyT on Sunday 8th December 22:46
StanleyT said:
New Years Eve. Hikiking holiday break from Uni. Yorkshire, 1989(?).
We bagged the last table int pub when it opened at seven pm (remember that pubs not being open all day). Was a pissing down day and we'd got soaked outside drinking stella waiting for the place to open for the evening session, having being out from 12 until 3pm when the pubs shut that afternoon.
Our group grew from the original four or so until there was about ten of us, having blagged chairs and stools from elsewhere in the pub (proper old school pub this, with two snugs, a lounge, a bar and a locals taproom).
By 10:30 the heat off the fire was getting far too much. So in our wisdom, we started in each round getting a couple of "glasses of tapwater". These were saved up until we had about 12 and then were dumped upon the fire.
A) Boiling steam in a packed pub is not good for your skin.
B) 12 pints of water on a fire causes also a lot of smoke and the fire alarm to activate.
C) Real effect gas fires look a lot like a real wood burning fire when you are 18 and have no tolerance to alcohol and have been drinking for the last 7 - 10 hours.
But did you get kicked oot?We bagged the last table int pub when it opened at seven pm (remember that pubs not being open all day). Was a pissing down day and we'd got soaked outside drinking stella waiting for the place to open for the evening session, having being out from 12 until 3pm when the pubs shut that afternoon.
Our group grew from the original four or so until there was about ten of us, having blagged chairs and stools from elsewhere in the pub (proper old school pub this, with two snugs, a lounge, a bar and a locals taproom).
By 10:30 the heat off the fire was getting far too much. So in our wisdom, we started in each round getting a couple of "glasses of tapwater". These were saved up until we had about 12 and then were dumped upon the fire.
A) Boiling steam in a packed pub is not good for your skin.
B) 12 pints of water on a fire causes also a lot of smoke and the fire alarm to activate.
C) Real effect gas fires look a lot like a real wood burning fire when you are 18 and have no tolerance to alcohol and have been drinking for the last 7 - 10 hours.
Baby Shark doo doo doo doo said:
I was chucked out of a bar in France because I’m British
I don’t believe that, unless you said something sarky about Agincourt, in which case I’d have held the door open for the bar staff to eject you.Having said that, I’ve seen Brits all over the world who make me feel ashamed that my passport is the same as theirs, but it has to be stressed, they’re in the minority.
The vast majority of Brits know how to behave properly when in foreign climes, and singing, “Two World Wars, and one World Cup”, in a German bar in Gran Canaria isn’t it.
My wife’s great nephew asked one of my French cousin’s grandsons, “What are your chances in the next World Cup?”
He quietly replied, “Not sure yet, but how many times has England won it?”
Friday night was lads night. Suited and booted, and replicating Arthur Seaton on a sesh. About 10 pints later, sat down on a pub bench seat and as I keeled over got my marching orders from the landlord.
My good mates just laughed, carried on drinking and i was on my own, outside in drizzling rain.
Next thing I knew, my girlfriend's mate was shaking me and calling said g/f over and they helped me to the bus stop and having been refused from 2 buses, finally got on the third to find my mother waiting several miles away to collect me off the bus. I had to sit on the entrance steps and when collected found several sets of footprints on my suit. Serious humiliation of course.
Saturday was courting night, and me and the lady sat down and had some straight talking at which point we decided it was time to stop messing about and take each other seriously.
36 years later we remained devoted.
I did slipped off the rails once or twice at the rugby club but that first event led me to settling down with the most wonderful lady in my life.
RIP 2009.
My good mates just laughed, carried on drinking and i was on my own, outside in drizzling rain.
Next thing I knew, my girlfriend's mate was shaking me and calling said g/f over and they helped me to the bus stop and having been refused from 2 buses, finally got on the third to find my mother waiting several miles away to collect me off the bus. I had to sit on the entrance steps and when collected found several sets of footprints on my suit. Serious humiliation of course.
Saturday was courting night, and me and the lady sat down and had some straight talking at which point we decided it was time to stop messing about and take each other seriously.
36 years later we remained devoted.
I did slipped off the rails once or twice at the rugby club but that first event led me to settling down with the most wonderful lady in my life.
RIP 2009.
Edited by BryanC on Sunday 8th December 23:48
Christ, I haven’t got the time to type them all out, I think from probably 16-22 I was kicked out of somewhere most weeks! That’s if I was lucky enough to gain entry!
A favourite was removing the flush fit toilet handles from a couple of cubicles and then heading back up to the mezzanine level “restaurant”, which served chips and pie through a hole in the wall-remember when nightclubs used to have to serve food?
Ordering chips, I then set up a table golf competition to see who could drive a chip the furthest over the dance floor below using the long toilet handle as the golf club. I do recall it went south after bonus points were awarded for chips with Tommy sauce on, girls don’t take too kindly to chips getting stuck in their hair apparently.
As daft as it sounds, there was usually only a couple of nightclubs ever on the go at once but you’d still get back in the following week.
A favourite was removing the flush fit toilet handles from a couple of cubicles and then heading back up to the mezzanine level “restaurant”, which served chips and pie through a hole in the wall-remember when nightclubs used to have to serve food?
Ordering chips, I then set up a table golf competition to see who could drive a chip the furthest over the dance floor below using the long toilet handle as the golf club. I do recall it went south after bonus points were awarded for chips with Tommy sauce on, girls don’t take too kindly to chips getting stuck in their hair apparently.
As daft as it sounds, there was usually only a couple of nightclubs ever on the go at once but you’d still get back in the following week.
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