Thrown out of pub - stories
Discussion
Mikebentley said:
Many years ago my departed dad told me a story about a Pub that used to be in Kidderminster town centre called The Green Man. Dads mate Dave Wright ran it and it was a proper spit and sawdust venue. It was the late 1960s and the local rag and bone man walked into the pub with his horse in tow. Dave hit the roof and said “ Get that filthy effer out of my pub now”, said Steptoe type took offence and said “ Don’t talk to my ‘orse like that”. Dave with his rapier wit replied “ The horse can stay but you can F off.”
At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
Lovely story, but was it the Red Man? If so it’s still there. Still see RP out and about fairly often as well. At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
I was in a hipster place that had some drinks ingredients on the bar. I picked up the cucumber and put it down near my crotch to make a cock.......the barman said "don't do that I have to put it in people's drinks" so I replied "what, with the plastic covering over it?" - Any way, he didn't like that and asked us to leave.
BryanC said:
Friday night was lads night. Suited and booted, and replicating Arthur Seaton on a sesh. About 10 pints later, sat down on a pub bench seat and as I keeled over got my marching orders from the landlord.
My good mates just laughed, carried on drinking and i was on my own, outside in drizzling rain.
Next thing I knew, my girlfriend's mate was shaking me and calling said g/f over and they helped me to the bus stop and having been refused from 2 buses, finally got on the third to find my mother waiting several miles away to collect me off the bus. I had to sit on the entrance steps and when collected found several sets of footprints on my suit. Serious humiliation of course.
Saturday was courting night, and me and the lady sat down and had some straight talking at which point we decided it was time to stop messing about and take each other seriously.
36 years later we remained devoted.
I did slipped off the rails once or twice at the rugby club but that first event led me to settling down with the most wonderful lady in my life.
RIP 2009.
Great story BryanC, thanks. RIP to your ladyMy good mates just laughed, carried on drinking and i was on my own, outside in drizzling rain.
Next thing I knew, my girlfriend's mate was shaking me and calling said g/f over and they helped me to the bus stop and having been refused from 2 buses, finally got on the third to find my mother waiting several miles away to collect me off the bus. I had to sit on the entrance steps and when collected found several sets of footprints on my suit. Serious humiliation of course.
Saturday was courting night, and me and the lady sat down and had some straight talking at which point we decided it was time to stop messing about and take each other seriously.
36 years later we remained devoted.
I did slipped off the rails once or twice at the rugby club but that first event led me to settling down with the most wonderful lady in my life.
RIP 2009.
Edited by BryanC on Sunday 8th December 23:48
We were in a city centre pub during the week, it was quiet so one of the bars wasn’t staffed but some reason the taps were still on. My mate went behind the bar and served us free beer while dancing to the music, it was good while it lasted...
Another time my mate went to got to the toilet, the door seemed to be stuck, being a brown belt and having had a few he decided to give it a full on front kick, unknown to him there was some poor bugger on the other side of the door that went flying into the condom machine and set the alarm of, we weren’t thrown out but made a sharp exit.
Another time my mate went to got to the toilet, the door seemed to be stuck, being a brown belt and having had a few he decided to give it a full on front kick, unknown to him there was some poor bugger on the other side of the door that went flying into the condom machine and set the alarm of, we weren’t thrown out but made a sharp exit.
About 99/00 I was in a local pub but not one we would normally go in, it was the may Bank Holiday Sunday afternoon and the snooker final was on. Or rather it was on but the TV had some surfing on.
There was about 10 of us in our group and maybe another 10 or so people dotted about the pub, no one seemed to be watching the TV.
I just stood up and turn the TV over. It was in the corner high up on the wall but being tall I could reach the buttons on the front. All of a sudden there was an oi,what do you think you are doing bellowed out from behind the bar. Shortly followed by get out you're barred.
I just laughed and said sorry I'll change it back but I was still marched out of the building after changing it back.
There was about 10 of us in our group and maybe another 10 or so people dotted about the pub, no one seemed to be watching the TV.
I just stood up and turn the TV over. It was in the corner high up on the wall but being tall I could reach the buttons on the front. All of a sudden there was an oi,what do you think you are doing bellowed out from behind the bar. Shortly followed by get out you're barred.
I just laughed and said sorry I'll change it back but I was still marched out of the building after changing it back.
underwhelmist said:
Mikebentley said:
Many years ago my departed dad told me a story about a Pub that used to be in Kidderminster town centre called The Green Man. Dads mate Dave Wright ran it and it was a proper spit and sawdust venue. It was the late 1960s and the local rag and bone man walked into the pub with his horse in tow. Dave hit the roof and said “ Get that filthy effer out of my pub now”, said Steptoe type took offence and said “ Don’t talk to my ‘orse like that”. Dave with his rapier wit replied “ The horse can stay but you can F off.”
At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
Lovely story, but was it the Red Man? If so it’s still there. Still see RP out and about fairly often as well. At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
There have been a few over the years, combination of being a t
t at times and/or the company I keep/have kept. Not been kicked out for many years for all the proverbial reasons.
One trivial exception. This past November, 6 of us travelled to Austin for the Grand Prix with a couple of days either side. 3 days of heavy drinking with 2 days watching F1, F2, legends, and a few other nice machines fly around was frankly phenomenal. Book it, you won't be disappointed.
It was my birthday the day after the GP. Monday 4th November, this began with drinks at the Four Seasons at I think 1000. Bar after bar after bar later*, I ask the bartender for shots. She declines saying they don't serve shots but the bar up the road do.
I thought she was advising me to go up the road for them. So I did. There is a two drink rule Texas meaning you can only buy two drinks per human physically present at the time of ordering.
The barman was quite happy for me to take 7 shots on account of my friends being "over there".
I walked up the road tray held high to the first bar, consumed shots with mates and other randoms in close vicinity, walked back to bar two to drop off the empties and returned to friends.
Barstaff where very very cross. Felony law, police, expletives, pointing and many other terms that were difficult to comprehend at the time were cast. We left at their request.
Found another place but eventually forced to retire at 0420. Great few days away!
*Austin loves a craft beer. Actually it's obsessed with craft beer. Many bars have 100 taps on a wall. All of it is utter shiet. Mexican beer saved the days
t at times and/or the company I keep/have kept. Not been kicked out for many years for all the proverbial reasons.One trivial exception. This past November, 6 of us travelled to Austin for the Grand Prix with a couple of days either side. 3 days of heavy drinking with 2 days watching F1, F2, legends, and a few other nice machines fly around was frankly phenomenal. Book it, you won't be disappointed.
It was my birthday the day after the GP. Monday 4th November, this began with drinks at the Four Seasons at I think 1000. Bar after bar after bar later*, I ask the bartender for shots. She declines saying they don't serve shots but the bar up the road do.
I thought she was advising me to go up the road for them. So I did. There is a two drink rule Texas meaning you can only buy two drinks per human physically present at the time of ordering.
The barman was quite happy for me to take 7 shots on account of my friends being "over there".
I walked up the road tray held high to the first bar, consumed shots with mates and other randoms in close vicinity, walked back to bar two to drop off the empties and returned to friends.
Barstaff where very very cross. Felony law, police, expletives, pointing and many other terms that were difficult to comprehend at the time were cast. We left at their request.
Found another place but eventually forced to retire at 0420. Great few days away!
*Austin loves a craft beer. Actually it's obsessed with craft beer. Many bars have 100 taps on a wall. All of it is utter shiet. Mexican beer saved the days
Princess Di’s funeral day, forever known as Dead Di Day.
Rather than mope around the telly like sycophants listening to Elton John, me and three flatmates did a monster all day pub crawl round Reading town centre, ending up in Yates’ at about 10pm. Punter count was low on account of the sad events of the day. One of the lads used to like a bit of weed but wasn’t really a smoker, so had apparently taken to eating it. I’d never seen anyone do this before.
About 30 seconds after swallowing his herb, said flatmate managed to yack his guts up, including a day’s worth of beer, all over the carpet right in front of the bar.
Bouncer with very little to do strolls over with an exasperated look on his face, “you pricks, out, now!”
Rather than mope around the telly like sycophants listening to Elton John, me and three flatmates did a monster all day pub crawl round Reading town centre, ending up in Yates’ at about 10pm. Punter count was low on account of the sad events of the day. One of the lads used to like a bit of weed but wasn’t really a smoker, so had apparently taken to eating it. I’d never seen anyone do this before.
About 30 seconds after swallowing his herb, said flatmate managed to yack his guts up, including a day’s worth of beer, all over the carpet right in front of the bar.
Bouncer with very little to do strolls over with an exasperated look on his face, “you pricks, out, now!”
Only once in my life and it was years ago.
Four of us ended up in a night club is Glasgow. We had a few drinks before going in, but weren't bad at all. Halfway through the first bottle of beer in the club I knew I was wrecked. I could barely stand and felt really wrong. I didn't know where the other three were and I couldn't function.
Next thing two bouncers took an arm and leg each, carried me down the stairs and threw me on to the street. I literally mean throw me right on my back.
Catching up with the group two of them had zero recollection of being there. The other mate ended up in a heap in the corner of the club totally out of his face too.
Four of us ended up in a night club is Glasgow. We had a few drinks before going in, but weren't bad at all. Halfway through the first bottle of beer in the club I knew I was wrecked. I could barely stand and felt really wrong. I didn't know where the other three were and I couldn't function.
Next thing two bouncers took an arm and leg each, carried me down the stairs and threw me on to the street. I literally mean throw me right on my back.
Catching up with the group two of them had zero recollection of being there. The other mate ended up in a heap in the corner of the club totally out of his face too.
Yates in Reading when I was a student. On a long day drinking session, one of my mates decided that he wanted the poster of "Team America" movie that was hung in the toilets.
But rather than taking just the poster, he yanked the whole poster and frame off the wall, including some plaster, the brackets, and hid it under his coat. He then left quickly to hide it somewhere "for later" and said he'd meet us in one of the other pubs. A few minutes later we were ejected on his behalf. We did remember the poster at the end of the night though, hidden down a little alleyway behind the bins.
Also got "barred" from a local by an over-zealous bouncer at the end of a night. Pub was closing after time had been called a few mins earlier, and I had about 1/3d of a pint left. Bouncers were telling everyone to finish up and leave, but he just yanked my glass from my hand and told me to get out. Didn't say anything to any of the girls in the group who still had a little bit of wine or whatever left. I asked for my pint back, and even directed him to the "drinking up time" regulations clearly posted at the end of the bar that said that we had 20 minutes to finish our drinks and leave, it was only 11.15 so 5 minutes remained. He told me I was barred for being a smart arse basically.
Anyway, I wasn't barred, and I got £50 in compensation vouchers after complaining to the pub owner company (I think it was a Taylor Walker by then). Not seen that bouncer since either.
But rather than taking just the poster, he yanked the whole poster and frame off the wall, including some plaster, the brackets, and hid it under his coat. He then left quickly to hide it somewhere "for later" and said he'd meet us in one of the other pubs. A few minutes later we were ejected on his behalf. We did remember the poster at the end of the night though, hidden down a little alleyway behind the bins.
Also got "barred" from a local by an over-zealous bouncer at the end of a night. Pub was closing after time had been called a few mins earlier, and I had about 1/3d of a pint left. Bouncers were telling everyone to finish up and leave, but he just yanked my glass from my hand and told me to get out. Didn't say anything to any of the girls in the group who still had a little bit of wine or whatever left. I asked for my pint back, and even directed him to the "drinking up time" regulations clearly posted at the end of the bar that said that we had 20 minutes to finish our drinks and leave, it was only 11.15 so 5 minutes remained. He told me I was barred for being a smart arse basically.
Anyway, I wasn't barred, and I got £50 in compensation vouchers after complaining to the pub owner company (I think it was a Taylor Walker by then). Not seen that bouncer since either.
No a pub but been asked to leave a funeral directors.
Both my elderly parents passed away within ten days of each other and I had to deal with all arrangements.
The funeral directors were the most incompetent morons I have ever dealt with. Their invoice contained seven mistakes including muddled address, various spelling mistakes and two clear cases of overcharging.
I was obviously stressed at the time and told the Admin Manager that he was grossly incompetent and a disgrace. He told me I was being insulting to him and I must immediately leave the premises.
Both my elderly parents passed away within ten days of each other and I had to deal with all arrangements.
The funeral directors were the most incompetent morons I have ever dealt with. Their invoice contained seven mistakes including muddled address, various spelling mistakes and two clear cases of overcharging.
I was obviously stressed at the time and told the Admin Manager that he was grossly incompetent and a disgrace. He told me I was being insulting to him and I must immediately leave the premises.
Shakermaker said:
Yates in Reading when I was a student. On a long day drinking session, one of my mates decided that he wanted the poster of "Team America" movie that was hung in the toilets.
But rather than taking just the poster, he yanked the whole poster and frame off the wall, including some plaster, the brackets, and hid it under his coat. He then left quickly to hide it somewhere "for later" and said he'd meet us in one of the other pubs. A few minutes later we were ejected on his behalf. We did remember the poster at the end of the night though, hidden down a little alleyway behind the bins.
Also got "barred" from a local by an over-zealous bouncer at the end of a night. Pub was closing after time had been called a few mins earlier, and I had about 1/3d of a pint left. Bouncers were telling everyone to finish up and leave, but he just yanked my glass from my hand and told me to get out. Didn't say anything to any of the girls in the group who still had a little bit of wine or whatever left. I asked for my pint back, and even directed him to the "drinking up time" regulations clearly posted at the end of the bar that said that we had 20 minutes to finish our drinks and leave, it was only 11.15 so 5 minutes remained. He told me I was barred for being a smart arse basically.
Anyway, I wasn't barred, and I got £50 in compensation vouchers after complaining to the pub owner company (I think it was a Taylor Walker by then). Not seen that bouncer since either.
Ha! Yates' in Reading didn't let my friend in because they said he was too drunk. The only problem being he wasn't as it was the first pub on our pub crawl. He just looks a bit disheveled. But rather than taking just the poster, he yanked the whole poster and frame off the wall, including some plaster, the brackets, and hid it under his coat. He then left quickly to hide it somewhere "for later" and said he'd meet us in one of the other pubs. A few minutes later we were ejected on his behalf. We did remember the poster at the end of the night though, hidden down a little alleyway behind the bins.
Also got "barred" from a local by an over-zealous bouncer at the end of a night. Pub was closing after time had been called a few mins earlier, and I had about 1/3d of a pint left. Bouncers were telling everyone to finish up and leave, but he just yanked my glass from my hand and told me to get out. Didn't say anything to any of the girls in the group who still had a little bit of wine or whatever left. I asked for my pint back, and even directed him to the "drinking up time" regulations clearly posted at the end of the bar that said that we had 20 minutes to finish our drinks and leave, it was only 11.15 so 5 minutes remained. He told me I was barred for being a smart arse basically.
Anyway, I wasn't barred, and I got £50 in compensation vouchers after complaining to the pub owner company (I think it was a Taylor Walker by then). Not seen that bouncer since either.
Does a pre-emptive "ban" count?
Another Reading one just popped in - we were "banned" from Pitcher & Piano there after mate (the same one from before, but on another occasion) needed a piss on a night out and thought he was being discreet by doing it up against the wall. Only it wasn't the wall, it was the window of a very busy P&P and several people inside watched him mid-flow. And because we apparently didn't stop him, we were told we weren't ever allowed in. Not that P&P was exactly the target market for a group of pissed up students anyway
Another Reading one just popped in - we were "banned" from Pitcher & Piano there after mate (the same one from before, but on another occasion) needed a piss on a night out and thought he was being discreet by doing it up against the wall. Only it wasn't the wall, it was the window of a very busy P&P and several people inside watched him mid-flow. And because we apparently didn't stop him, we were told we weren't ever allowed in. Not that P&P was exactly the target market for a group of pissed up students anyway
Origin Unknown said:
This past November, 6 of us travelled to Austin for the Grand Prix with a couple of days either side.
Austin remains probably my best night out ever, as always with good nights out - completely unplanned and spontaneous. I was also over there for the GP, but I was working in Atlanta at the time so it was a short domestic hop over and we (myself and a colleague) were due back at work on Monday morning after a 5am flight.
The night started well as once the race was finished - I got my mug on Sky Sports F1 whilst interviewing fans on the starting grid (not interviewed, just gurning like a t
t). We then took the coach back to Austin and walked into the nearest bar - a typically American mainstream sports bar to find the Sky Sports F1 camera crew sat at the bar. I sheepishly went over for a chat, explained that I love their coverage blah blah blah and I think they just appreciated a British accent to talk to so we got chatting about all things F1. Jonny Herbert later joined us with some great stories, and then introduced us to Damon Hill and his Son (oh, that Simon Lazenby guy too). After a quick chat with them (Damon much less eager to talk st with a peasant than Herbert was) Jonny said they were heading back because they had an early flight to catch for Brazil, but we should check out a Piano bar down the road if we wanted to meet more F1 people. It was about midnight now, we had a flight to catch at 5am... but a quick visit couldn't hurt. We got there, found it was $5 entry and so paid up and walked into a completely dead bar - thinking Herbert had stitched us up. We sat and had one drink to make the most of our entry fee, and intended to go back to the hotel. Just as we finished up, Daniel Ricciardo walked in with his then GF (maybe Wife now?) so had a chat with him, he was pretty friendly and managed to pinpoint my accent to North Yorkshire which I thought was pretty damn impressive. As we talked, pretty much everyone who walked in you could recognise from the paddock, pit crew, team bosses, 3rd drivers (not many main drivers) and it was just a who's who of the F1 paddock. Needless to say we didn't get much sleep that night and ended up VERY drunk/sobering/hung over on the flight back to ATL where we then drove straight to the office to start a days work
My memory is a bit hazy but I seem to remember us staggering back to our hotel, then going back to the bar again - but I could be wrong.I didn't get thrown out of anywhere, so not really relevant to this thread - but any excuse to re-tell it is welcome. How different the night could have been if it was Jason Plato we ran into instead.
Booted out of The Cock in Harpenden in the early 00's with no clue as to why. I didn't drink in my early 20's so was completely sober I had just walked in; hadn't even got to the bar when the owner (I believe her name was Nikki) came marching up to me and told me I was barred. Me being me, I didn't argue it and left. I don't I ever returned either.
Only the once xmas 2012, mates got me really p*ssed on Tequila, can't remember much of the evening, remember getting kicked out of a pub though after dancing, I was in London and it was £80 cab fair approx home, some how I managed to take cash out before I got in cab, but by time I got home and come to pay I had lost the £80 had to get the £ out again.
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