Thrown out of pub - stories
Discussion
Stuart70 said:
Glasgow in the 80s. Mid afternoon on a week day and a few drinks with some friends from out of town.
We are going into a cellar bar which is understandably quiet given time of day, the bar is at the far end of the room.
I walk down towards the bar moving imaginary customers out of our way, saying, “let me fight my way through this heaving throng”.
Famed for my wit, I am.
When we got to the bar, the barman looked directly at me and said, “you can f*ck off now”
Cool story bro’
Some people just don't appreciate satire.We are going into a cellar bar which is understandably quiet given time of day, the bar is at the far end of the room.
I walk down towards the bar moving imaginary customers out of our way, saying, “let me fight my way through this heaving throng”.
Famed for my wit, I am.
When we got to the bar, the barman looked directly at me and said, “you can f*ck off now”
Cool story bro’
Been thrown out a few times when I was younger for being underage. A fake ID can only get you so far when you're a 16-year-old who looks about 12.
In my late teens I got thrown out of loads of clubs mainly for being a gobby little s
t and getting into scraps. In most of the photos of me in my late teens I seem to be sporting bruises or a black eye.
In my late teens I got thrown out of loads of clubs mainly for being a gobby little s
t and getting into scraps. In most of the photos of me in my late teens I seem to be sporting bruises or a black eye.The bouncer wouldn't let me & a mate in the local nightclub so we tried again an hour later. He obviously recognised us and we were told to eff off. My mate goes for a piss round the back and decides to climb up the stairs to the fire escape - which was open! So we had about an hour of drinking before we were rushed by a few bouncers and the owner, demanding to know how we got in.
A mate of mine dropped his pants in a hotel bar , pulled his dick up so hard you could only see his bks that was bad enough, but he asked a girl if she thought the remaining view looked like a Buxted Chicken ?
We were asked politely to leave on the basis the police had been called .
We left pdq , never hung around to see if they turned up.
Funnily enough we were all in our thirties at the time and he should have known better.
ks that was bad enough, but he asked a girl if she thought the remaining view looked like a Buxted Chicken ?We were asked politely to leave on the basis the police had been called .
We left pdq , never hung around to see if they turned up.
Funnily enough we were all in our thirties at the time and he should have known better.
Got chucked out of the student union many times...then numerous other pubs etc.
Most memorable was when it happened alongside 4 mates, in a photo booth, intention was to take a group shot of our cock/balls....not quite got there but the bouncer saw my brown belt hanging, as some mates had their cock out already, she thought it was my cock too and kicked all of us out!
Numerous others because I was either too drunk or had been sick in the club, or when a friend (female) passed out on the floor, issue was she wasn’t wearing knickers....
Most memorable was when it happened alongside 4 mates, in a photo booth, intention was to take a group shot of our cock/balls....not quite got there but the bouncer saw my brown belt hanging, as some mates had their cock out already, she thought it was my cock too and kicked all of us out!
Numerous others because I was either too drunk or had been sick in the club, or when a friend (female) passed out on the floor, issue was she wasn’t wearing knickers....
Visiting a friend he suggested we nip out for a pint to his local. You'll really like it he said, it's a friendly wee pub. Arrived at said pub and it looked nice, they had just had a nice new carpet put down. Unbeknown to me I had stood in a pile of steaming fresh dug ste and tramped it all over their new carpet. Told to get out and never come back. Friendly my arse.
te and tramped it all over their new carpet. Told to get out and never come back. Friendly my arse.
FiF said:
Yates Wine Lodge, Nottingham. The night after the last finals exam, in a group, thrown out for singing. Main culprit in the group was our Prof, who was also a JP.
OT, but I was in Nottingham for a night out and to meet friends, walked down alongside the tram tracks to Yates' on my right. Stopped at the bottom, didn't look behind me, asked a copper if she knew where Yates' was. She thought I was having her on.
I felt a bit stupid when she told me to turn around.
Never been thrown out of an actual "pub".. But if you care to allow vaguely related venues, the most worthy incident probably has to be my lady friend dropping a drink all over the bar at the shepherds bush empire sometime in the late 90s at an iron maiden gig and deciding the ideal solution would be to attempt to lick it all up, which resulted in our prompt high velocity introduction to the outside pavement courtesy of the venues staff. Which leaves us having achieved "too drunk for an iron maiden gig" status, which is either a lifetime achievement or just simply inconceivable, depending who you ask.
technodup said:
I've been thrown out a club for dealing, when I wan't dealing. Mistaken identity I think, not that my protestations got anywhere.
I've also been thrown out a pub for singing football songs. Turns out Glasgow's non aligned family pubs don't want cultural tunes sung by steamers. Who knew?
Battle fever? I've also been thrown out a pub for singing football songs. Turns out Glasgow's non aligned family pubs don't want cultural tunes sung by steamers. Who knew?
Only chucked out once, at my local, when I lived in rural Scotland, 20 years ago.
There had been a world cup footy match on the box, around lunch time, so there were quite a few people in.
The game finished and most of the folk stayed for a wee swally.
The pub had a proper, older, juke box with actual 45's in it, that had just been restocked with the latest tunes.
One of the new tunes was "Brimful of Asha", the Norman Cook mix, which seemed to be getting a lot of plays.
For whatever reason the manager/owner would pull a face and make some comment every time this particular tune was played.
Of course this was like a red rag to a bull to me and another customer, we kept putting money in the juke box and would put "Brimful of Asha" on a couple of times, along with some other tunes.
As the afternoon turned into early evening the manager/owner, was getting more and more wound up by the same tune coming on.
Every time he'd ask who'd put it on and would be answered with a barrage of different names, some finger pointing and howls of laughter.
This went on for a couple of hours more with, "Brimful of Asha" featuring more and more frequently and the manager/owner getting more and more uptight.
The customers started to thin out a bit and we decided we would leave after another pint.
I went to the bar ordered a couple of pints and asked for some change for the juke box.
I was told in no uncertain term I was not to put "Brimful of Asha" on, "OK" I said.
Well what would you do?
What I did was put "Brimful of Asha" on 5 more times!
"GET OUT, YOU'RE BARRED"!
Of course we were pissing ourselves laughing, somehow we managed to down our drinks and leave.
Turns out we weren't barred when we turned up the next day.
The manager/owner was actually a really nice guy and a fishing buddy of mine, I guess he was just having a bad day!
Extremely funny at the time!
There had been a world cup footy match on the box, around lunch time, so there were quite a few people in.
The game finished and most of the folk stayed for a wee swally.
The pub had a proper, older, juke box with actual 45's in it, that had just been restocked with the latest tunes.
One of the new tunes was "Brimful of Asha", the Norman Cook mix, which seemed to be getting a lot of plays.
For whatever reason the manager/owner would pull a face and make some comment every time this particular tune was played.
Of course this was like a red rag to a bull to me and another customer, we kept putting money in the juke box and would put "Brimful of Asha" on a couple of times, along with some other tunes.
As the afternoon turned into early evening the manager/owner, was getting more and more wound up by the same tune coming on.
Every time he'd ask who'd put it on and would be answered with a barrage of different names, some finger pointing and howls of laughter.
This went on for a couple of hours more with, "Brimful of Asha" featuring more and more frequently and the manager/owner getting more and more uptight.
The customers started to thin out a bit and we decided we would leave after another pint.
I went to the bar ordered a couple of pints and asked for some change for the juke box.
I was told in no uncertain term I was not to put "Brimful of Asha" on, "OK" I said.
Well what would you do?
What I did was put "Brimful of Asha" on 5 more times!
"GET OUT, YOU'RE BARRED"!
Of course we were pissing ourselves laughing, somehow we managed to down our drinks and leave.
Turns out we weren't barred when we turned up the next day.
The manager/owner was actually a really nice guy and a fishing buddy of mine, I guess he was just having a bad day!
Extremely funny at the time!
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