Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)

[48k]

According to the news reports Sean Connery died in his sleep in his house in the Bahamas.

Now there's a voice in my head singing "Bahamas....in pyjamas...are coming down the stairs"

Not a joke I just needed to share the earworm.

Anyway. Does anybody remember me posting a joke about a chiropractor about a weak back?

[MartG]

48k said:

Now there's a voice in my head singing "Bahamas....in pyjamas...are coming down the stairs"

Not a joke I just needed to share the earworm.

bd ! It's stuck in my head too now :/

[Gary C]

Just read this quote by him

‘Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.’

[GOG440]

Focused said:

The original joke was this:

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

One of my favourite daft jokes

[Gargamel]

Ultra Sound Guy said:

I know he was a great James Bond, but should we really be mourning a long standing misogynist?

If it wasn’t for people like Sean, you’d have no one to pretend you are superior to.

What a contemptuous, pious little prick you are.

[DoubleD]

I thought that this thread was supposed to be funny?

[nonsequitur]

The Man With The Golden Pun.

[Gargamel]

DoubleD said:

I thought that this thread was supposed to be funny?

Apologies.

Did you hear about the food poisoning death of a Lebanese man today?
Police suspect it was Hummus Side.

[Doofus]

Gargamel said:

Ultra Sound Guy said:

I know he was a great James Bond, but should we really be mourning a long standing misogynist?

If it wasn’t for people like Sean, you’d have no one to pretend you are superior to.

What a contemptuous, pious little prick you are.

To be fair, you don't sound like the most charming of people either.

[DoubleD]

Gargamel said:

Apologies.

Did you hear about the food poisoning death of a Lebanese man today?
Police suspect it was Hummus Side.

Ha ha I like that.

[nonsequitur]

Me too. But I won't make a Kerfalafel about it.

[Trophy Husband]

nonsequitur said:

Me too. But I won't make a Kerfalafel about it.

Pittaful.

[nonsequitur]

Nice one, Chapati.

[Monkeylegend]

Stop trying to curry favour.

[fatboy18]

Doofus said:

Gargamel said:

Ultra Sound Guy said:

I know he was a great James Bond, but should we really be mourning a long standing misogynist?

If it wasn’t for people like Sean, you’d have no one to pretend you are superior to.

What a contemptuous, pious little prick you are.

To be fair, you don't sound like the most charming of people either.

In this film I thought his performance was his best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzLAUud0i8g

[MartG]

[arguti]

[arguti]

[Doofus]

arguti said:

What am I missing?

[droopsnoot]

arguti said:

As nice as it is, would he still be writing that decades after he stopped being James Bond, and putting the "007" logo on his paper? Are ex-Bonds allows to refer to themselves in that way as ex-US presidents are?