Great quotes/sayings

[Last Visit]

One of my favourites:

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.

Alexander the Great.

[steveatesh]

njw1 said:

I've always quite liked 'Assumption is the mother of all fk ups' since I heard it in a film (Under siege 2).

That film must have been a cultural icon as:

“Chance favours the prepared mind” was used a lot by the baddy, Travis Dane, although the quote is from Louis Pasteur......

I use it a lot!

[Tango13]

'That one is fked, pass me another and I'll put it on pole'

Allegedly said by an 80's 500 GP bike racer but it could be journalistic licence.

[Allan L]

as I was saying yesterday

Allan L said:

Inverting a well-known saying can be a good choice, e.g.

Give us the job and we will finish the tools

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Allan L said:

Dr Jekyll said:

"Don't just do something, sit there".

Inverting a well-known saying can be a good choice, e.g.

It's not the taking part that's important: it's the winning.

and Spike Milligan, referring to a beautiful young lady:
She could make a happy man very old!

Every silver lining has a cloud.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

[Dr Jekyll]

If in danger. or in doubt
run in circles, scream and shout.

[DIW35]

"In the beginning there was absolutely nothing. And then it exploded!"
Terry Pratchett


"There are only two things that are infinite; the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein

[Dr Jekyll]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Allan L said:

Dr Jekyll said:

"Don't just do something, sit there".

Inverting a well-known saying can be a good choice, e.g.

It's not the taking part that's important: it's the winning.

and Spike Milligan, referring to a beautiful young lady:
She could make a happy man very old!

Every silver lining has a cloud.

We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

[TheK1981]

Dont believe everything you read on the internet.
Abraham Lincoln

[TwigtheWonderkid]

As one door closes, another one slams in your face.

[Ponpiman]

Women – turn them upside-down and they’re all sisters – anon

In summing up, it’s the constitution, it’s Mabo, it’s justice, it’s law, it’s the vibe, and…no that’s it…it’s the vibe. I rest my case. – Dennis Denuto, 1997

[Monkeylegend]

As a bomb disposal officer once said "If you see me running try and keep up"

[anonymous-user]

If it’s got wheels or tits it’ll give you trouble.

[rehab71]

colin_p said:

Let the dog see the rabbit.

'But which is is which?'

[kiseca]

steveatesh said:

njw1 said:

I've always quite liked 'Assumption is the mother of all fk ups' since I heard it in a film (Under siege 2).

That film must have been a cultural icon as:

“Chance favours the prepared mind” was used a lot by the baddy, Travis Dane, although the quote is from Louis Pasteur......

I use it a lot!

I'm a big fan of "chance favours the prepared mind" from that movie too!

danpalmer1993 said:

Amateurs practice until they can get it right, professionals practice until they can’t get it wrong.

Never heard that one, and I really like it.

As some have done above, I also like mixing up popular saying to see who notices:
"You're a sore sight for eyes."
"Least but not last..."
"I'm not as dumb as you look".

In that vein, I always hated "What she doesn't know can't hurt her" because it really means "what she doesn't know can't hurt me."

I tend to mostly remember ones I find funny.
Ford Prefect, describing why teleportation isn't fun: "It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
Arther Dent: "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
Ford: "Ask a glass of water."

Steven Wright:
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
"All those with telekinesis, raise my hand."
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I feel like I've forgotten this before."
"I installed a skylight in my place. The people who live in the apartment above me are pissed."
"Many people quit looking for work when they find a job."
"Smoking cures weight problems.... eventually."
"Salvadore Dali was fishing using a dotted line. He caught every other fish."
"I dialed a wrong number. I said 'Can I speak to Joey?' They said 'I don't think so. Joey's only 2 months old'. I said 'I'll wait.' "
"I was crossing the border into Canada. They asked me if I had any firearms. I said 'well, what do you need?' "

Unknown:
"I intend to live forever or die trying."

Mark Twain:
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Motor related:
"The manual describes the rear suspension as 'independent'. Rebellious would be a better word." - Fast Lane magazine road test of a Maserati 430 I think... one of the Biturbos. I think the writer was Ryan Baptiste

"Speed saves time and time is life." - LJK Setright

Lyrics:
"I opened my doors of perception and can't get them shut" - Jimmie's Chicken Shack
"It's a small world and it smells funny." - Andrew Eldridge

Serious quotes:
"deeds cannot dream what dreams can do" - e e cummings
"If you're irreplaceable, you're also unpromotable." - unknown

[98elise]

Micheal Caine on his role in Jaws 4:

"I have never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific."

[Djtemeka]

You’re the load your mum should have swallowed

[PurpleFox]

The quality will remain long after the price is forgotten

Henry Royce.

[Nobody nowhere]

“Lord grant me health and strength. I’ll steal the rest”


“Lord I don’t always know the right thing to do, but I think the fact that I want to please you, pleases you”