Lies you’ve told your kids, and lies you were told as a kid

[generationx]

A friend of mine told her daughter that power station cooling towers were the machines that make clouds. But I'm not sure if she's not convinced of this herself...

[kdri155]

I told our daughter the cooling tower cloud thing, also if she stood on a manhole a turtle would grab her.

Once when driving through a partly built housing estate she asked what the crosses were for, the ones that mark out plots, roads etc, I told her it marked the grave of a builder or worker that had died working on the site.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

kainedog said:

I remember the classics things our parents told us when we were kids, eating carrots helped you see in the dark or some crap,

Carrots are rich in beta-carotene, which the body utilises to produce Vitamin A. They are good for lowering cholesterol levels and yes, for improving vision. Vitamin A helps the eye convert light to a signal sent to the brain, allowing you to see better in low light..

However, what is a lie, told to me by my gran on a regular basis is that "you'll have someone's eye out with that". No matter what I was carrying, a towel, a cushion, apparently i was always on the verge of having someone's eye out.

"Twig, be careful, you'll have someone's eye out with that"
"Errr...I really won't gran, it's a plate of jelly."

I'm 58 now, and I've never had anyone's eye out with anything.

[so called]

To my 6 and 5 year old son and daughter I told them my real name was Engelbert Humperdinck.
They went from disbelief to total embarrassment with the question,"how are we going to tell our friends".


To me,
Me - "Mum, what did you say Uncle Reg Christie did for a living?"
Mum - "He was a Postman".
Me - "OK, it's just that the film I just watched said he was a serial killer".

[stu67]

My dad used to tell me that the ice cream man used to play his the jingle when he had run out of ice cream, subsequently told my own son, he hopefully will pass it on to possible grandchildren!

[KAgantua]

Found my mums suitcase (!) full of tampons. She told me they were her 'special cigars' and that I was never to touch the briefcase again...

[mr_spock]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

kainedog said:

I remember the classics things our parents told us when we were kids, eating carrots helped you see in the dark or some crap,

Carrots are rich in beta-carotene, which the body utilises to produce Vitamin A. They are good for lowering cholesterol levels and yes, for improving vision. Vitamin A helps the eye convert light to a signal sent to the brain, allowing you to see better in low light..

My parents used to say that too. I believe it came from a bit of Government misdirection during WW2 to cover up the advent of radar detection

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serrate_radar_detect...

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/a-wwii...

We used to tell our kids that the alarm sensors in the house were "Santa-cams" so he'd know if they were being naughty or nice. I think they humoured us for years really.

My Dad used to tell be the brown part of an overripe banana was the best bit. Until I started saving them for him (yes, I knew, I was a right arse as a kid)

[anonymous-user]

Eating something with pips in would mean a tree would grow in my tummy...

[anonymous-user]

Don't go swimming after eating a meal as you will die.

[aka_kerrly]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Told my kids when the ice cream van plays a tune, it means he's run out of ice cream.

My mum convinced me that it wasn't a Ice Cream van it was another child on the street that had a Fischer Price music box.

Also as a child we used to go on holiday to the Haven holidays site in Devon Cliffs. Next to the site and within view of the beach is a military firing range. My mum used to tell me and my brothers that the "naughty" kids would be taken for target practice

[coppernorks]

If you swallow chewing gum it will stick to your ribs.

Not convinced that, anatomically speaking, it has the ring of truth, but no-one wants sticky ribs do they ?

[Bullett]

My 9yo has a unicorn gillet she loves, I told her that Gillet was French for cold arms.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

A lie me and my kids used to participate in together, coming out of London Zoo, the exit is quite near the entrance, where people would be milling around, we'd always run out of the exit screaming "they're free, they've escaped".

Another thing I used to do with my boys when they were younger, if we were walking along somewhere, maybe the High St, and a police car approached with sirens going, I'd wrestle the nearest one to the ground shouting "I've got him, I've got him!"

I was out with my eldest last week, he's 25 & 6'3. We could hear a police car in the distance and he turned to me and said "don't even think about it or I'll break your fking arm!"

[snotrag]

Cloud factories.

I was brought up with this bit of knowledge, and my 2 year old son now will do the same!



(Its obvious really, clouds come out and go up into the sky. When its cold and theres lot of cloud, theres lots coming out of the chimneys.
When its Summer and its warm with little cloud, theres not much coming out of the chimneys)

[2 sMoKiN bArReLs]

I was frightened of thunder & lightening.

My dad told me that the gap between the lightening and the bang was a mile in second. (to make it seem far away)

I've since learnt that sound travels at 300 metres a second!

[carlove]

I remember growing up there was a very elaborate lie that was told to me about my uncle that we didn’t see much of being a secret agent, being on missions and the like, if I asked him about it he’d say “I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you”. I believed it for many years, until I overhead that he was a hospice manager.

Unless hospice manager was a front and he was in fact a secret agent.

In the early 00s The Queen visited York, my mum told me if I misbehaved as she went by one of her guards would cut off my head. Fair to say I was terrified about the queen going past and was on my best behaviour.

[J4CKO]

My Hamster Frisky went away to have his babies and live on a farm

Absolutely wasnt found stiff as a board on morning in 1974.

[HTP99]

If you press the hazard light switch, the Police will instantly come.

[Evoluzione]

I don't have any, but I remember Harry Hill said his dad told him the brown bit on a steak was the worst part so always gave him the white bit found round the edge.

Sorry I cba to read the thread to see if this has been mentioned; when the ice cream van plays a tune it means he has no ice cream left

[GAjon]

The cemetery was the dead centre of town.

Took me years to get it.