Lies you’ve told your kids, and lies you were told as a kid
Discussion
My Dad told me my dog had to go and live on a farm when I was about 5 and I only twigged it when I was in my teens.
Speaking to him a couple of years ago I mentioned it and it turns out his mate had a farm and he really did go to live there! I'd been thinking he was put down for 20 odd years! :-)
Speaking to him a couple of years ago I mentioned it and it turns out his mate had a farm and he really did go to live there! I'd been thinking he was put down for 20 odd years! :-)
The first swear word I said in front of my mum was “blimey!”
She told me that I was asking God to blind me and if I kept saying it God would.
Funnily enough my eyesight is now really bad so presumably God was just running the long game. This also might explain everything else that has gone wrong in my life as one of my favourite sayings is “f
k off you tedious ,” and following on from mums logic, I guess the Almighty wouldn’t be too pleased about that one.
Life choices, wow.
Meh.
She told me that I was asking God to blind me and if I kept saying it God would.
Funnily enough my eyesight is now really bad so presumably God was just running the long game. This also might explain everything else that has gone wrong in my life as one of my favourite sayings is “f
k off you tedious ,” and following on from mums logic, I guess the Almighty wouldn’t be too pleased about that one.Life choices, wow.
Meh.
My grandmother told me CocaCola was made from dog poo. I must have been about 5 at the time but we still laugh about it to this day. To be fair it did have the intended effect.
Also my mother told me chewing gum would cause a hole to grow in my stomach because the stomach expects to receive food and none arrives. Bunch of liars my family!
Also my mother told me chewing gum would cause a hole to grow in my stomach because the stomach expects to receive food and none arrives. Bunch of liars my family!
Edited by Tebbers on Saturday 20th February 07:27
When 6 or 7 on Holiday was told we were going to visit a Monastery.
What's a Monastery? I asked
It's where the Monkeys live said my Dad.
Very disappointed.
Similar age, I asked to go to the Tower of London.
My Mum was very impressed and arranged a visit.
I had seen someone on Jim'll Fix It visit Big Ben which is kind of a Tower in London.
What's a Monastery? I asked
It's where the Monkeys live said my Dad.
Very disappointed.
Similar age, I asked to go to the Tower of London.
My Mum was very impressed and arranged a visit.
I had seen someone on Jim'll Fix It visit Big Ben which is kind of a Tower in London.
Brooksay said:
Not a lie as such, but when my little girl first started to speak I taught her to bend her finger repeatedly whilst saying "redrum" when meeting new people as a way to say hello.
This reminded me, when they start to talk you do that cows go 'moo' dogs go 'woof' thing. We did all the usual animals plus dinosaurs 'rawwr' and sharks which of course go 'dum dum dum dum'imck said:
When 6 or 7 on Holiday was told we were going to visit a Monastery.
What's a Monastery? I asked
It's where the Monkeys live said my Dad.
Very disappointed.
A few years ago I was heading over to Maiden Castle and on the walk there, a young boy heading back told us “there’s no castle”.What's a Monastery? I asked
It's where the Monkeys live said my Dad.
Very disappointed.
The disappointment in his voice is all that I remember from the visit, that poor lad
Tebbers said:
My grandmother told me CocaCola was made from dog poo. I must have been about 5 at the time but we still laugh about it to this day. To be fair it did have the intended effect.
Related: we tell our kids that McDonalds food is make from cow s**t, and KFC is made with real chicken s**t. It's worked so far - every time we drive past a McDonalds there's a shout of 'Yuk!' from the back seat. Edited by Tebbers on Saturday 20th February 07:27
Result.
My son would pick up something form a shelf in a shop and id tell him it was for display purposes only, he would then put it back down, he would wander off muttering about nothing being for actual sale.
I told my son that when he was born a police officer came to the hospital and took a sample of his hair, a Dna swab and a copy of his finger prints. If he gets into trouble the police will catch him..
I told my son that when he was born a police officer came to the hospital and took a sample of his hair, a Dna swab and a copy of his finger prints. If he gets into trouble the police will catch him..
My girlfriend's grandmother was a wicked old soul.
I was asking about her childhood in Edinburgh
and I asked about how the weekly wash was done.
I used my experience to ask about things like a
dolly tub, Dolly Blue, a posser, a mangle and a copper to
heat the water.
Grandma Mac said they used to put the clothes in the bath,
fill it with hot water, add some, 'whale soap'and some coal
and stir it about a lot.
Even then, I thought, "Red Leader to Pork Squadron" but I knew
two things...she'd had her nightly dram and was an old scamp.
I was asking about her childhood in Edinburgh
and I asked about how the weekly wash was done.
I used my experience to ask about things like a
dolly tub, Dolly Blue, a posser, a mangle and a copper to
heat the water.
Grandma Mac said they used to put the clothes in the bath,
fill it with hot water, add some, 'whale soap'and some coal
and stir it about a lot.
Even then, I thought, "Red Leader to Pork Squadron" but I knew
two things...she'd had her nightly dram and was an old scamp.
davhill said:
My girlfriend's grandmother was a wicked old soul.
I was asking about her childhood in Edinburgh
and I asked about how the weekly wash was done.
I used my experience to ask about things like a
dolly tub, Dolly Blue, a posser, a mangle and a copper to
heat the water.
Grandma Mac said they used to put the clothes in the bath,
fill it with hot water, add some, 'whale soap'and some coal
and stir it about a lot.
Even then, I thought, "Red Leader to Pork Squadron" but I knew
two things...she'd had her nightly dram and was an old scamp.
This reads like one of those poems that doesn't rhyme I was asking about her childhood in Edinburgh
and I asked about how the weekly wash was done.
I used my experience to ask about things like a
dolly tub, Dolly Blue, a posser, a mangle and a copper to
heat the water.
Grandma Mac said they used to put the clothes in the bath,
fill it with hot water, add some, 'whale soap'and some coal
and stir it about a lot.
Even then, I thought, "Red Leader to Pork Squadron" but I knew
two things...she'd had her nightly dram and was an old scamp.
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