Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol. 7)

[paulguitar]

Super Sonic said:

Oh wait a minute, I think it was Paul spotted the joke that went over Slim's head. May get the hang of formatting on this site one day!

Yeah, I think it was only me who got it...

[PH User]

paulguitar said:

Super Sonic said:

Oh wait a minute, I think it was Paul spotted the joke that went over Slim's head. May get the hang of formatting on this site one day!

Yeah, I think it was only me who got it...

I got it, just didn't find it funny.

[paulguitar]

PH User said:

I got it, just didn't find it funny.

PH is a tough crowd.

[stemll]

thewarlock said:

One of these days I'd like to understand the sport.

Every now and then I ask an English mate, and he immediately launches off into "Well, there's x balls in an over, and y overs in a something" and seems incapable of understanding that I'm asking for an explanation because I don't understand, and that I have no idea what he means by a 'ball' or 'over'.

It's easy

• You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
• Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out and when he’s out comes back in and the next man goes in until he’s out.
• When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out because he's in.
• When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
• Sometimes there are men still in and not out.
• There are men called umpires who stay out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out.
• Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter whether they’re in or out.
• When both sides have been in and all the men are out (including those who are not out), then the game is finished.

[PH User]

stemll said:

thewarlock said:

One of these days I'd like to understand the sport.

Every now and then I ask an English mate, and he immediately launches off into "Well, there's x balls in an over, and y overs in a something" and seems incapable of understanding that I'm asking for an explanation because I don't understand, and that I have no idea what he means by a 'ball' or 'over'.

It's easy

• You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
• Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out and when he’s out comes back in and the next man goes in until he’s out.
• When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out because he's in.
• When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
• Sometimes there are men still in and not out.
• There are men called umpires who stay out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out.
• Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter whether they’re in or out.
• When both sides have been in and all the men are out (including those who are not out), then the game is finished.

Simple really.

(I found this funny)

[Red9zero]

British Gas are annoying me again today. We had an engineer out to fix a radiator in February and paid our policy excess at the time, or so I thought. Today I get an "Urgent" email saying we have an unpaid invoice, which I assumed was a scam, but I rang them on a confirmed number to check. Turns out that while they took my card details, they have only just raised the invoice due to their huge backlog. So much time has passed they no longer have my card details, so I get an email saying payment is overdue and needs to be paid immediately. WTAF ?

[PH User]

Little buzzy aircraft

[coppernorks]

The short lived and useless temporary left motorway lane that is half a mile long.

It suddenly appears as if by magic, and you, like the good motorist you are,
move left to occupy it [so faster traffic can pass], only for it to effing disappear after 500m.

[Doofus]

coppernorks said:

The short lived and useless temporary left motorway lane that is half a mile long.

It suddenly appears as if by magic, and you, like the good motorist you are,
move left to occupy it [so faster traffic can pass], only for it to effing disappear after 500m.

Are you sure it's not a crawler lane?

[bmwmike]

Wombat3 said:

bmwmike said:

MartG said:

Workmen who start very early in the morning, make a fktonne of noise for the first half hour, then when they've woken up everyone within a half-mile radius, work virtually silently for the rest of the day

s !

Absolutely. We had 8 months of them turning up at 7.15-7.30 and sitting around chatting on the road till around 7.45 when it was get even noiser for precisely 45 minutes and from around 9.30AM completely silent until they fked off at 3pm.

Now the neighbours over the back have started up a loft extension on their semi, and I was woken up at 9AM on Sunday to the sound of rat-a-tat nail guns going off - the build is on a house 100m from me so i can't be the only ones pissed off with them. ALL DAY SUNDAY it was noisy, not a peep this week apart from the odd bang and wallop. Got to be deliberate. Probably pissed off that they have to work in the sun and heat.

More likely being done DIY or by mates on their day off......

Nope, i thought that initially so drove around to the street where the work is going on and it was the builder because their van was outside the house.

[Sheets Tabuer]

I have a colleague that seemingly cannot smell something without making an over exaggerated noise about it, bizarrely it's about the most ordinary things.

Picture in your mind:

colleague: (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoaaarrrr!!! have you been eating garlic?
me: Yes a lot of adults do
Colleague: That bloody stinks, pewwww, omg *retching noises*

Or

Colleague (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoarr!!!! what's that smell, are you wearing perfume?
Me: It's Costa azzurra, I like it.
Colleague, Bloody hell, thats rank, *cough* *cough* *cough* omg that stinks.

Or

Colleague opens bin (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* Phwoaaarrrr!!! that bin bloody stinks
Me: Yea the cleaners must gave forgotten to change the bag
Colleague Omg, omg I think I'm going to be sick *retching noises* omg that's awful.

Mind you every time he takes a sip of a drink like orange juice or eats a sour sweet he makes a huge song and dance about it with one eye closed saying omg thats so sour, then makes gagging noises.

I really, really want to punch him hard.

[anonymous-user]

Sheets Tabuer said:

I have a colleague that seemingly cannot smell something without making an over exaggerated noise about it, bizarrely it's about the most ordinary things.

Picture in your mind:

colleague: (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoaaarrrr!!! have you been eating garlic?
me: Yes a lot of adults do
Colleague: That bloody stinks, pewwww, omg *retching noises*

Or

Colleague (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoarr!!!! what's that smell, are you wearing perfume?
Me: It's Costa azzurra, I like it.
Colleague, Bloody hell, thats rank, *cough* *cough* *cough* omg that stinks.

Or

Colleague opens bin (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* Phwoaaarrrr!!! that bin bloody stinks
Me: Yea the cleaners must gave forgotten to change the bag
Colleague Omg, omg I think I'm going to be sick *retching noises* omg that's awful.

Mind you every time he takes a sip of a drink like orange juice or eats a sour sweet he makes a huge song and dance about it with one eye closed saying omg thats so sour, then makes gagging noises.

I really, really want to punch him hard.

Please do.

[TorqueDirty]

Sheets Tabuer said:

I have a colleague that seemingly cannot smell something without making an over exaggerated noise about it, bizarrely it's about the most ordinary things.

Picture in your mind:

colleague: (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoaaarrrr!!! have you been eating garlic?
me: Yes a lot of adults do
Colleague: That bloody stinks, pewwww, omg *retching noises*

Or

Colleague (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoarr!!!! what's that smell, are you wearing perfume?
Me: It's Costa azzurra, I like it.
Colleague, Bloody hell, thats rank, *cough* *cough* *cough* omg that stinks.

Or

Colleague opens bin (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* Phwoaaarrrr!!! that bin bloody stinks
Me: Yea the cleaners must gave forgotten to change the bag
Colleague Omg, omg I think I'm going to be sick *retching noises* omg that's awful.

Mind you every time he takes a sip of a drink like orange juice or eats a sour sweet he makes a huge song and dance about it with one eye closed saying omg thats so sour, then makes gagging noises.

I really, really want to punch him hard.

Tell him he has really bad BO and that his breath stinks. That will occupy his thoughts.

[PH User]

TorqueDirty said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

I have a colleague that seemingly cannot smell something without making an over exaggerated noise about it, bizarrely it's about the most ordinary things.

Picture in your mind:

colleague: (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoaaarrrr!!! have you been eating garlic?
me: Yes a lot of adults do
Colleague: That bloody stinks, pewwww, omg *retching noises*

Or

Colleague (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* phwoarr!!!! what's that smell, are you wearing perfume?
Me: It's Costa azzurra, I like it.
Colleague, Bloody hell, thats rank, *cough* *cough* *cough* omg that stinks.

Or

Colleague opens bin (extremely loud sniffing) *Sniff, sniff, sniff* Phwoaaarrrr!!! that bin bloody stinks
Me: Yea the cleaners must gave forgotten to change the bag
Colleague Omg, omg I think I'm going to be sick *retching noises* omg that's awful.

Mind you every time he takes a sip of a drink like orange juice or eats a sour sweet he makes a huge song and dance about it with one eye closed saying omg thats so sour, then makes gagging noises.

I really, really want to punch him hard.

Tell him he has really bad BO and that his breath stinks. That will occupy his thoughts.

Sounds like someone in that office has bad breath and too much perfume on.

[popeyewhite]

Soon to be single girlfriend smacks her lips and says "mmmm...yum, yum" after meals. Most meals. I have asked her not to do it but she just smiles and says "ha ha OK". Thing is it's hard to convince her I'm serious over such an honestly trivial matter, but every time she does it I feel like murdering her. She'll soon find out how fking serious I am.

Or I could get a good night's sleep.

[Fastdruid]

Had my car booked in for a service today. Just got a call to say they hadn't delivered the spark plugs so it wouldn't be ready today.

Now I totally get not wanting to hold massive stocks of parts...but its not like I nipped in off the street and asked them to fit them. It's been booked in advance *and* is a main dealer. So they knew exactly what was needed in advance and should have got them in before. Even ignoring that I don't think it's unreasonable to expect them to hold common service parts "in stock"!

[PH User]

Fastdruid said:

Had my car booked in for a service today. Just got a call to say they hadn't delivered the spark plugs so it wouldn't be ready today.

Now I totally get not wanting to hold massive stocks of parts...but its not like I nipped in off the street and asked them to fit them. It's been booked in advance *and* is a main dealer. So they knew exactly what was needed in advance and should have got them in before. Even ignoring that I don't think it's unreasonable to expect them to hold common service parts "in stock"!

If only global supply chain was that simple.

[Dermot O'Logical]

Picture the scene. The New Forest, late afternoon. Near Beaulieu.

Traffic in the opposite direction has stopped, because a mummy horse and a baby horse are standing in the middle of the road. Other horses are nearby.

I stop, because the afore-mentioned horse and foal have moved slightly into "my" side of the road.

Fat fktard in the BMW behind me starts blasting his horn...

[coppernorks]

PH User said:

If only global supply chain was that simple.

Most city garages I know can order car parts and they'll be delivered later that day, even Fit-Kwik.

[PH User]

coppernorks said:

PH User said:

If only global supply chain was that simple.

Most city garages I know can order car parts and they'll be delivered later that day, even Fit-Kwik.

Yep. But they also run out of stuff as well.