Are you turning into your Dad?
Discussion
They say the day you turn into your dad, is the day you start keeping a small stick of wood specifically to stir a tin of paint with.
As for me turning into my Dad, no, I hope not.
He is an incredibly nice chap, and very generous with the whole family, but is ultimately going to become elderly and full of regret due to his relentless refusal to spend any money on himself.
He browses and admires classic cars, watches, houses, holiday homes, and suchlike, but steadfastly refuses to buy anything whatsoever as he feels he ‘hasn’t earned it just yet’, or ‘it’s a little too expensive’.
He’s a self made multi millionaire with significant income from property and assets, who could well afford everything he looks at, without it making much of a dent in his bank balance, yet he is constantly ‘shocked at the price of things these days’ and never actually makes a purchase.
He’s 70, yet apparently he might treat himself to a classic car one day if the market ‘eases back a touch’ as he is worried he buys something that loses money, so he just wants to ‘wait a bit longer’.
It is absolutely tragic to watch, but there is nothing I can do about it.
As for me turning into my Dad, no, I hope not.
He is an incredibly nice chap, and very generous with the whole family, but is ultimately going to become elderly and full of regret due to his relentless refusal to spend any money on himself.
He browses and admires classic cars, watches, houses, holiday homes, and suchlike, but steadfastly refuses to buy anything whatsoever as he feels he ‘hasn’t earned it just yet’, or ‘it’s a little too expensive’.
He’s a self made multi millionaire with significant income from property and assets, who could well afford everything he looks at, without it making much of a dent in his bank balance, yet he is constantly ‘shocked at the price of things these days’ and never actually makes a purchase.
He’s 70, yet apparently he might treat himself to a classic car one day if the market ‘eases back a touch’ as he is worried he buys something that loses money, so he just wants to ‘wait a bit longer’.
It is absolutely tragic to watch, but there is nothing I can do about it.
Doofus said:
Yes I am. Hopefully, it's happening slowly, though, because he's dead.
Had a similar thought but I'm now 5 years older than he made it to. And as I had my first child at the age he died at (47) it's safe to say we've followed very different paths. I am definitely developing the same annoying little bald spot he had though 😂There were 3 of us my 2 older sisters & myself,. Mother had tumour on her lung , they removed it then shortly afterwards found another one on her other lung. My Dad nursed her for 2 years before she died ,whilst at the same time nursing me by sleeping in chair holding me against his shoulder as I was born with rupture but they could not operate for a year. When she died in 1961 @ the age of 31yrs Dad had 3 children aged 4-9-11yrs the council wanted to split us up into different children homes, Dad refused &the council refused a home help,he took an extra job so he could pay for a homehelp.
He helped all of us through our lives & was the kindest , loyal person I have ever known . He never remarried but did win Mensa competition & had 160 IQ, the only time I saw him genuinely happy for himself.
He died 11yrs ago & told me he was proud of me....
I could never aspire to be my Dad but so grateful he was my Dad,
Edited by Gerradi on Saturday 17th April 00:57
In some ways like my dad although not as skilled as him DIY wise... He used to build extensions Inc digging 2m foundations etc. I hate digging.... I suppose if I'm being honest, I can be a little lazy in some respects.
I do like a well stocked workshop but he is the epitome of a hoarder, probably due to being born during WW2 and then losing his dad at an early age so money being very tight. He has a massive garage, big enough for 3 cars plus two council garages he rents out! It is handy when I need anything mind. I try and limit what I hoard as I don't think it's healthy. Plus it gets on my tits when I can't get to my workbench!
Dad has always been an amazing father and did a cracking job given he lost his at an early age so had no training.
He's fun too. Loves a practical joke or a dirty joke. Loves getting the grandchildren to pick on him... Will handily leave a full water pistol lying about whilst he 'sleeps' on the sun lounger ready for them to spray him.
Also never batted an eyelid when I would call him at 11pm or sometimes later if I missed my train back from London and would happily drive up to pick me up.
He is always bright and breezy and when him and my biological mother divorced and she screwed him and us big time, he just got on with it and worked 7 days a week sometimes to pay the mortgage and feed us. I will always be grateful for this. The backbone of steel to stand up to her and do the right thing when it would have been easy for him to drive off into the sunset. He's remarkable.
I dread the day we have to say goodbye to him... We speak almost every day and always tell him I love him.
I do like a well stocked workshop but he is the epitome of a hoarder, probably due to being born during WW2 and then losing his dad at an early age so money being very tight. He has a massive garage, big enough for 3 cars plus two council garages he rents out! It is handy when I need anything mind. I try and limit what I hoard as I don't think it's healthy. Plus it gets on my tits when I can't get to my workbench!
Dad has always been an amazing father and did a cracking job given he lost his at an early age so had no training.
He's fun too. Loves a practical joke or a dirty joke. Loves getting the grandchildren to pick on him... Will handily leave a full water pistol lying about whilst he 'sleeps' on the sun lounger ready for them to spray him.
Also never batted an eyelid when I would call him at 11pm or sometimes later if I missed my train back from London and would happily drive up to pick me up.
He is always bright and breezy and when him and my biological mother divorced and she screwed him and us big time, he just got on with it and worked 7 days a week sometimes to pay the mortgage and feed us. I will always be grateful for this. The backbone of steel to stand up to her and do the right thing when it would have been easy for him to drive off into the sunset. He's remarkable.
I dread the day we have to say goodbye to him... We speak almost every day and always tell him I love him.
In many ways, both my dad and I are already quite similar to each other. We sound similar, apparently. We have the same attitude to buying things - we don't buy useless tat but will happily spend the money on a decent product, and we don't like getting things on credit. We share broadly the same politics and worldview. Also, balding. I am already showing signs of male pattern baldness, which becomes rather obvious when I get a haircut, and you have to bear in mind that I'm only 21. What else? I suppose our mannerisms are similar. We're very close though, he really has been the voice of reason in my life and has always done his best for me, and I'd like to do the same for any kids that I end up raising.
AMC243 said:
In many ways, both my dad and I are already quite similar to each other. We sound similar, apparently. We have the same attitude to buying things - we don't buy useless tat but will happily spend the money on a decent product, and we don't like getting things on credit. We share broadly the same politics and worldview. Also, balding. I am already showing signs of male pattern baldness, which becomes rather obvious when I get a haircut, and you have to bear in mind that I'm only 21. What else? I suppose our mannerisms are similar. We're very close though, he really has been the voice of reason in my life and has always done his best for me, and I'd like to do the same for any kids that I end up raising.
You don't get male pattern baldness from your father, you get it from your mother. You need to look at your mum's brothers to see how bald you will go.NWTony said:
You don't get male pattern baldness from your father, you get it from your mother. You need to look at your mum's brothers to see how bald you will go.
At the risk of derailing the thread, the simplistic 'baldness from mother' thing has been disproved a long time ago. There are a quite number of genes and factors that result in hair loss, and it is extremely complicated:https://nutrafol.com/blog/myths-about-the-baldness...
https://www.businessinsider.com/baldness-genes-goi...
Blakeatron said:
Not trusting the car door locks and have to check the handle even though you pressed the button and heard it lock?
...
Get a BMW with “comfort entry”. Every time you touch the handle to check, the locks open. ...
I genuinely think my Dad would be stuck in an eternal doom loop, unable to walk away.
Lord Marylebone said:
NWTony said:
You don't get male pattern baldness from your father, you get it from your mother. You need to look at your mum's brothers to see how bald you will go.
At the risk of derailing the thread, the simplistic 'baldness from mother' thing has been disproved a long time ago. There are a quite number of genes and factors that result in hair loss, and it is extremely complicated:https://nutrafol.com/blog/myths-about-the-baldness...
https://www.businessinsider.com/baldness-genes-goi...
This is a good review:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28349362/
As for turning to my father, I don't know. My parents divorced when I was 5, he died when I was 7, my stepfather brought me up based a bunch of lies about my father and I was totally cut off from his family. I have no memories of him and only about 3 pictures which I only acquired in my 40s after my mother also died relatively early at 66 when I was 39.
What I have managed to find out about him does match my personality quite closely though and I certainly look very much like him. Coincidentally, I had my only biological child at same age as he had me, and Mrs QQ's father also died very early and they were both the same age when they died. Scarily, I'm already older than they were when they died. I wish I had had the chance to get to know my dad.
What I have managed to find out about him does match my personality quite closely though and I certainly look very much like him. Coincidentally, I had my only biological child at same age as he had me, and Mrs QQ's father also died very early and they were both the same age when they died. Scarily, I'm already older than they were when they died. I wish I had had the chance to get to know my dad.
Edited by QuickQuack on Sunday 18th April 08:50
Gerradi said:
There were 3 of us my 2 older sisters & myself,. Mother had tumour on her lung , they removed it then shortly afterwards found another one on her other lung. My Dad nursed her for 2 years before she died ,whilst at the same time nursing me by sleeping in chair holding me against his shoulder as I was born with rupture but they could not operate for a year. When she died in 1961 @ the age of 31yrs Dad had 3 children aged 4-9-11yrs the council wanted to split us up into different children homes, Dad refused &the council refused a home help,he took an extra job so he could pay for a homehelp.
He helped all of us through our lives & was the kindest , loyal person I have ever known . He never remarried but did win Mensa competition & had 160 IQ, the only time I saw him genuinely happy for himself.
He died 11yrs ago & told me he was proud of me....
I could never aspire to be my Dad but so grateful he was my Dad,
fHe helped all of us through our lives & was the kindest , loyal person I have ever known . He never remarried but did win Mensa competition & had 160 IQ, the only time I saw him genuinely happy for himself.
He died 11yrs ago & told me he was proud of me....
I could never aspire to be my Dad but so grateful he was my Dad,
Edited by Gerradi on Saturday 17th April 00:57
k me, if I’d achieved 1/10 of what you dad managed I’d be happy. Thanks for sharing about your dad, top fella Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff