Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

Author
Discussion

2ZZ Top

2,981 posts

138 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
Pixelpeep 135 said:
You are not allowed to run in the camp site at Glastonbury. This is because it should be 'Ran' as it's past-tents
You're also not allowed to stop ranning past and go inside for a break, as that would be loitering within tent.

Mammasaid

3,777 posts

96 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
2ZZ Top said:
Pixelpeep 135 said:
You are not allowed to run in the camp site at Glastonbury. This is because it should be 'Ran' as it's past-tents
You're also not allowed to stop ranning past and go inside for a break, as that would be loitering within tent.
I can't stand either of these jokes - they're two in tents!

Pixelpeep 135

8,600 posts

141 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
Mammasaid said:
2ZZ Top said:
Pixelpeep 135 said:
You are not allowed to run in the camp site at Glastonbury. This is because it should be 'Ran' as it's past-tents
You're also not allowed to stop ranning past and go inside for a break, as that would be loitering within tent.
I can't stand either of these jokes - they're two in tents!
Like a scarecrow, i am outstanding in my field.

Turtle Shed

1,514 posts

25 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were called Oreo Speedwagon.

Edited by Turtle Shed on Thursday 23 June 16:21

Pixelpeep 135

8,600 posts

141 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
Turtle Shed said:
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were call Oreo Speedwagon.
is that why you were a wafer so long?

Morningside

24,110 posts

228 months

Thursday 23rd June 2022
quotequote all
Philippines said:
Why did the Dermatologist get fired from his job?

Because he was making too many rash decisions.
I bet he's itching to get started in his new one.

Halmyre

11,148 posts

138 months

Friday 24th June 2022
quotequote all
Turtle Shed said:
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were called Oreo Speedwagon.

Edited by Turtle Shed on Thursday 23 June 16:21
A night down the club?

Stealthracer

7,641 posts

177 months

Friday 24th June 2022
quotequote all
Halmyre said:
Turtle Shed said:
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were called Oreo Speedwagon.

Edited by Turtle Shed on Thursday 23 June 16:21
A night down the club?
I bet he drove there in his Golf. Or was it a Polo?

tvrolet

4,251 posts

281 months

Friday 24th June 2022
quotequote all
Turtle Shed said:
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were called Oreo Speedwagon.

Edited by Turtle Shed on Thursday 23 June 16:21
I saw a band once, the blue rib band.

slopes

38,748 posts

186 months

Friday 24th June 2022
quotequote all
Turtle Shed said:
Went to see a band last night. Every song was about biscuits. They were called Oreo Speedwagon.

Edited by Turtle Shed on Thursday 23 June 16:21
Groan



But i'm still pinching that for later use hehe

GloverMart

11,773 posts

214 months

Sunday 26th June 2022
quotequote all
The Proclaimers' lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q.

They've been to Lochaber, no mower. Sutherland, no mower. Lewis, no mower. Skye, no mower.

twing

4,996 posts

130 months

Sunday 26th June 2022
quotequote all
GloverMart said:
The Proclaimers' lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q.

They've been to Lochaber, no mower. Sutherland, no mower. Lewis, no mower. Skye, no mower.
laugh

Pixelpeep 135

8,600 posts

141 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
I have a portrait of diana ross and i wanna hang it above my door but i'm struggling as there ain't no mounting high enough

Stealthracer

7,641 posts

177 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
Why are mountains so funny?


Because they're hill areas.

Nova Gyna

1,052 posts

25 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
I wondered why the missus was throwing all my Stephen King books around.

Then IT hit me.

McAndy

12,337 posts

176 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
Nova Gyna said:
I wondered why the missus was throwing all my Stephen King books around.

Then IT hit me.
Oh, the Misery! Did she get Carried away in Desperation? Maybe it was due to her Insomnia. It would have hurt less had it been a Thinner one. Anyway, a truly Shining example of a Fairy Tale!

Countdown

39,690 posts

195 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
A little known fact - one of Sean Connery's few career failures was when he didn't get opportunity to do voiceovers for the adverts for Citibank.

Stan the Bat

8,843 posts

211 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
Countdown said:
A little known fact - one of Sean Connery's few career failures was when he didn't get opportunity to do voiceovers for the adverts for Citibank.
biggrin

McAndy

12,337 posts

176 months

Monday 27th June 2022
quotequote all
Countdown said:
A little known fact - one of Sean Connery's few career failures was when he didn't get opportunity to do voiceovers for the adverts for Citibank.
hehe

bristolbaron

4,756 posts

211 months

Tuesday 28th June 2022
quotequote all
I phoned a pizza place at the weekend and ordered a thin and crispy supreme.. they sent me Diana Ross.