Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
A woman who only speaks Spanish goes into a store to get new socks. She goes up to the worker and says, "Donde estan los calcetines?"
But the worker doesn't speak Spanish and can't understand. So they walk over to some shirts and go, "Is this what you want?" The woman shakes her head.
The worker walks to a rack of pants and goes, "Is this what you want?” The woman shakes her head again.
The worker goes up to some socks and lifts one up and goes, "Is this what you're looking for?"
The woman smiles and says excitedly, "Ahh. Eso si que es'"
The worker frowns at the lady and says, well, if you can spell it, why don't you just do that first?
But the worker doesn't speak Spanish and can't understand. So they walk over to some shirts and go, "Is this what you want?" The woman shakes her head.
The worker walks to a rack of pants and goes, "Is this what you want?” The woman shakes her head again.
The worker goes up to some socks and lifts one up and goes, "Is this what you're looking for?"
The woman smiles and says excitedly, "Ahh. Eso si que es'"
The worker frowns at the lady and says, well, if you can spell it, why don't you just do that first?
A sailor walks into a bar and says to the barman "Give me two single whiskies"
"Sure" the barman replies, "Do you want them both now or one at a time?"
"Oh, both now" replies the sailor, "One's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the sailor pulls a three inch tall sailor out of his shirt pocket.
The barman looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?"
"Sure" replied the sailor and with that the three inch tall sailor supped back his whisky.
"That's amazing" replied the barman, "what else can he do? Can he walk?"
With that the sailor flips a 1p coin down to the other end of the bar and asks the little sailor to get it. Sure enough, he legs it down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the sailor.
"That really is amazing" says the barman, "Can he talk?"
"Of course. Hey Bungy, tell him about the time we had that run ashore in Mombassa and you called that witch-doctor a w
ker...
"Sure" the barman replies, "Do you want them both now or one at a time?"
"Oh, both now" replies the sailor, "One's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the sailor pulls a three inch tall sailor out of his shirt pocket.
The barman looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?"
"Sure" replied the sailor and with that the three inch tall sailor supped back his whisky.
"That's amazing" replied the barman, "what else can he do? Can he walk?"
With that the sailor flips a 1p coin down to the other end of the bar and asks the little sailor to get it. Sure enough, he legs it down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the sailor.
"That really is amazing" says the barman, "Can he talk?"
"Of course. Hey Bungy, tell him about the time we had that run ashore in Mombassa and you called that witch-doctor a w
ker...
A young boy was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"No laundry" the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
Undeterred the boy carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of it.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
The boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh, what was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle.”
The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"No laundry" the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
Undeterred the boy carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of it.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
The boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh, what was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle.”
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