Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
My doctor told me that bananas are good for cleaning the colon.
Unfortunately, he forgot to tell me you are supposed to eat them.
Have you heard of a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
I’m currently seeking a new place for my thesaurus shop.
It’s all about location, position, whereabouts.
Chemistry A Level examination 1993, Question 8:
Which of the following is NOT a Hydrocarbon:
A) Kerosene
B) Ethylene
C) Kumonylene
I phoned British Telecom to report a nuisance caller.
The bloke on the other end said, “Oh no, not you again.”
What’s the difference between a pregnancy and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What do you call a ginger in a porn film?
The cameraman.
The other day one of the buttons on my washing machine fell off and got lost. I managed to find a replacement, it works but it doesn’t match.
I call it, ‘the cycle formerly known as Rinse.’
I see that Women’s World magazine has just selected their Car of the Year.
It’s a blue one.
Unfortunately, he forgot to tell me you are supposed to eat them.
Have you heard of a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
I’m currently seeking a new place for my thesaurus shop.
It’s all about location, position, whereabouts.
Chemistry A Level examination 1993, Question 8:
Which of the following is NOT a Hydrocarbon:
A) Kerosene
B) Ethylene
C) Kumonylene
I phoned British Telecom to report a nuisance caller.
The bloke on the other end said, “Oh no, not you again.”
What’s the difference between a pregnancy and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What do you call a ginger in a porn film?
The cameraman.
The other day one of the buttons on my washing machine fell off and got lost. I managed to find a replacement, it works but it doesn’t match.
I call it, ‘the cycle formerly known as Rinse.’
I see that Women’s World magazine has just selected their Car of the Year.
It’s a blue one.
Fella with no arms and no legs swimming the channel.
Caught cramp in his ears.
Man with two wooden legs,,,,his house caught fire
The fire brigade saved his house, but he was burnt to the ground
And the insurance wouldn't pay up, they said he hadn't a leg to stand on.
This bus driver married this bus conductress
On the wedding night she said "Room for one on top"
He said "Christ! you never told me there was room for five standing inside"
This girl went to the doctor with a wheezy cough
The doctor got out his stethascope and said "Big breaths"
She said "Yeth, and I'm not thixteen yet"
Man:- "What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?
Girl:- "I don't know"
Man:- "Do you want to come on a picnic?"
Caught cramp in his ears.
Man with two wooden legs,,,,his house caught fire
The fire brigade saved his house, but he was burnt to the ground
And the insurance wouldn't pay up, they said he hadn't a leg to stand on.
This bus driver married this bus conductress
On the wedding night she said "Room for one on top"
He said "Christ! you never told me there was room for five standing inside"
This girl went to the doctor with a wheezy cough
The doctor got out his stethascope and said "Big breaths"
She said "Yeth, and I'm not thixteen yet"
Man:- "What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?
Girl:- "I don't know"
Man:- "Do you want to come on a picnic?"
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