Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[Spydaman]

Viagra will not make you Sean Connery, but it can make you Roger Moore.

[General Price]

john2443 said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

When I asked my dog what 231 minus 231 was he said nothing!

Clever dog.

To the person who stole my anti-depressants.



I hope you're happy.

[Nova Gyna]

QJumper said:

littleowl said:

Sad to hear about tennis player Boris Becker going to prison.

His services will no longer be available.

Anyone know how he handled the men's semis this morning?

Very good

[BrassMan]

john2443 said:

General Price said:

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

When I asked my dog what 231 minus 231 was he said nothing!

I asked by Bruv what the root of -1 was. He just said Aii.

[Trenchard]

john2443 said:

When I asked my dog what 231 minus 231 was he said nothing!

When I told my cat I'm going to teach her how to talk she said, "Me? Ow?"

[Stealthracer]

I'm worried that I'm becoming schizophrenic.

So I'm going to have a long talk with myself.

[illmonkey]

Rolls off the tongue that one…

[rfisher]

How is this on Vol 11 when it should have stayed on Vol 10ish forever.

It's the Sean Connery Joke Thread ffs.

Mental Putin's war thread is on page 1284 of Vol 2!

Who's running this place these days?

Severe case of mod failure there.

[Pixelpeep 135]

I brought a greyhound home yesterday.

My wife said "Are you going to race him?"

I said "No, he's much faster than me".

[Earl of Hazzard]

[McAndy]

Pixelpeep 135 said:

I brought a greyhound home yesterday.

My wife said "Are you going to race him?"

I said "No, he's much faster than me".

[john2443]

A weasel walks into a bar.

The barman says, "That's amazing, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel.

[kowalski655]

Just seen Elvis in B & Q. He returned a sander


Whatdoesthelongbuttononthebottomofthekeyboarddo?

[And172940]

Man goes to the doctors:

Man: I keep thinking I'm a moth
Doctor: Okay, I'll refer you to a psychiatrist
Man: No thanks, I don't want any treatment
Doctor: Why did you come in here then?
Man: Your light was on

[Earl of Hazzard]

[anonymous-user]

Spydaman said:

Viagra will not make you Sean Connery, but it can make you Roger Moore.

[Pixelpeep 135]

Who are Beyonce's favourite Emmerdale characters?



All the Dingle ladies.....

[MartG]

[MartG]

[the internet]

Pixelpeep 135 said:

Who are Beyonce's favourite Emmerdale characters?



All the Dingle ladies.....

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