Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[Halmyre]

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

[Vipers]

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Well it would depend of course where the pub is

[Alpacaman]

I was in a shoe shop this morning trying on a shoe, I said to the assistant “It’s too tight”.
She said "Try it with the tongue out"
I said "It'th nho ghood, it'th thtill thoo thight".

[havoc]

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

It's not that - he's just dyslexic.

[motco]

havoc said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

It's not that - he's just dyslexic.

'White Horse' is a brand of Scotch and it is, therefore, "whisky."

[Vipers]

motco said:

'White Horse' is a brand of Scotch and it is, therefore, "whisky."

So a Japanese tourist walks into a pub in Dublin and ask for something to warm the cockles of his heart

Barman said "We have whisky or whiskey, what do you prefer?".......................




Oh never mind, my head hurts.

Edited by Vipers on Tuesday 12th November 12:37

Edited by Vipers on Tuesday 12th November 12:38

[MartG]

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside.
And asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?
"Yes, coach", replied the little boy. "
Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue,
curse the umpire, or call him an ass***. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.
The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play,
it's not a dumb-a** decision or that the coach is a st**** is it?"
"No, coach."
"Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

[glenrobbo]

Vipers said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Well it would depend of course where the pub is

Obviously that Dobbin is an Irish Whiskey, but I have no idea what the "sode" is...

It must be some Gaelic concoction, probably made from potato.

[MartG]

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Well it would depend of course where the pub is

Obviously that Dobbin is an Irish Whiskey, but I have no idea what the "sode" is...

It must be some Gaelic concoction, probably made from potato.

Have potato ? Is happy

[Vipers]

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Well it would depend of course where the pub is

Obviously that Dobbin is an Irish Whiskey, but I have no idea what the "sode" is...

It must be some Gaelic concoction, probably made from potato.

I just love this thread, built in spilling checquees, and I for one appreciate it to one and all.

[Super Sonic]

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Or his sode from his soda!

[Super Sonic]

Vipers said:

I just love this thread, built in spilling checquees, and I for one appreciate it to one and all.

Chairs!

[Sporky]

Super Sonic said:

Or his sode from his soda!

First line here suggests "sode" was the original spelling...

https://www.etymonline.com/word/soda

[glenrobbo]

Sporky said:

Super Sonic said:

Or his sode from his soda!

First line here suggests "sode" was the original spelling...

https://www.etymonline.com/word/soda

A bit like Werthers?

[motco]

glenrobbo said:

Sporky said:

Super Sonic said:

Or his sode from his soda!

First line here suggests "sode" was the original spelling...

https://www.etymonline.com/word/soda

A bit like Werthers?

[motco]

Super Sonic said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Or his sode from his soda!

Americans seem to regard any fizzy drink be it coke, Dr Pepper, etc., as "soda".

[Super Sonic]

motco said:

Super Sonic said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Or his sode from his soda!

Americans seem to regard any fizzy drink be it coke, Dr Pepper, etc., as "soda".

Coke? Don't you mean Coca?

[motco]

Super Sonic said:

motco said:

Super Sonic said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Or his sode from his soda!

Americans seem to regard any fizzy drink be it coke, Dr Pepper, etc., as "soda".

Coke? Don't you mean Coca?

[Rayny]

motco said:

Super Sonic said:

Halmyre said:

Super Sonic said:

A white horse walks into a pub. The barman says 'we have a whiskey named after you' The horse says 'excellent, I'll have a large Dobbin and sode'

The barman obviously doesn't know his whisky from his whiskey.

Or his sode from his soda!

Americans seem to regard any fizzy drink be it coke, Dr Pepper, etc., as "soda".

American hospitality when dad comes to visit - Would you like a soda, pop?

[Rayny]

Vipers said:

I just love this thread, built in spilling checquees, and I for one appreciate it to one and all.

I'll have a pint of English beer with you, or are we drinking larger glasses of European lager