Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
A slightly balding gentleman with striking white hair walked into a prestigious Mayfair jeweller's, a dazzlingly younger woman linked to his arm.
He informed the jeweller he was looking for a very special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller, eyeing the pair, looked through his standard stock and presented a piece priced at £5,000.
The man casually replied, "No, I'd like to see something a bit more exclusive."
At that statement, the jeweller changed tack, went to his secure back room, and returned with a magnificent ring. "This, sir, is a truly stunning piece, only £40,000," the jeweller announced.
The lady's eyes lit up immediately, and her whole body seemed to tremble with delighted anticipation. The older man, noting her reaction, declared, "We'll take it."
The jeweller enquired about payment, and the man stated, "By cheque. I completely understand you'll need to ensure the funds are legitimate, so I'll write the cheque now, and you can ring the bank first thing Monday to verify it. We'll pop back in Monday afternoon to collect the ring."
On Monday morning, the jeweller, clearly furious, phoned the old man. "Sir... there's absolutely nothing in that account!"
"I know," said the old man calmly. "But let me tell you about my weekend."
He informed the jeweller he was looking for a very special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller, eyeing the pair, looked through his standard stock and presented a piece priced at £5,000.
The man casually replied, "No, I'd like to see something a bit more exclusive."
At that statement, the jeweller changed tack, went to his secure back room, and returned with a magnificent ring. "This, sir, is a truly stunning piece, only £40,000," the jeweller announced.
The lady's eyes lit up immediately, and her whole body seemed to tremble with delighted anticipation. The older man, noting her reaction, declared, "We'll take it."
The jeweller enquired about payment, and the man stated, "By cheque. I completely understand you'll need to ensure the funds are legitimate, so I'll write the cheque now, and you can ring the bank first thing Monday to verify it. We'll pop back in Monday afternoon to collect the ring."
On Monday morning, the jeweller, clearly furious, phoned the old man. "Sir... there's absolutely nothing in that account!"
"I know," said the old man calmly. "But let me tell you about my weekend."
Master Of Puppets said:
For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
languagetimothy said:
Master Of Puppets said:
For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.
All I did was book a table for the two of us for her birthday. How did I know she didn't want to play snooker
languagetimothy said:
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.
Reading is in Berkshire, isn't it? [/kittens]droopsnoot said:
languagetimothy said:
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.
Reading is in Berkshire, isn't it? [/kittens]I got my wife a job at Berkshire Hathaway. Mrs Hathaway was chuffed to get a new maid.
droopsnoot said:
languagetimothy said:
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.
Reading is in Berkshire, isn't it? [/kittens]languagetimothy said:
droopsnoot said:
languagetimothy said:
they can really get stroppy cant they. Back in the day I surprised her with tickets for Otis reading, she hated it and left early. Me, I think those Hertfordshire elevator manufacturers give a really interesting tour of their factory.
Reading is in Berkshire, isn't it? [/kittens]Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff