Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)

[Rayny]

Mammasaid said:

silverfoxcc said:

My local cinema is showing a remake of Tommy Steele in Half a sixpence'.... It is in 3d

One for the youngsters there

Youngsters =:
Tommy Steele - Who's that (he/she)?
Sixpence - What's one of them?

[Groomio]

[Groomio]

There's three men sat in the pub chatting.

One of them says "My surname is Carpenter, so I must be related to a woodworker who built or repaired wooden structures"

One replies "My surname is Cooper, I'm related to a barrel-maker "

The last one speaks, "My surname is Dickinson......."

[48k]

The Adam and the Ants ice cream company has gone into liquidation after only selling one flavour - standard vanilla.

[StevieBee]

48k said:

The Adam and the Ants ice cream company has gone into liquidation after only selling one flavour - standard vanilla.

I bought some Adam and the Ants sheet music the other day. Shop keeper said for an extra tenner he'd throw in a Stand and Deliver!

[Groomio]

[Frimley111R]

silverfoxcc said:

Celine Dion has said that she will be supporting all farmers by removing all the constanants in her name

Who the hell managed to work that one out?

[Mammasaid]

Frimley111R said:

silverfoxcc said:

Celine Dion has said that she will be supporting all farmers by removing all the consonants in her name

Who the hell managed to work that one out?

Old MacDonald, doncha know

[Rayny]

I thought that it was the constipated mathematician, with a pencil.

[Sixteen Stone]

Rayny said:

Mammasaid said:

silverfoxcc said:

My local cinema is showing a remake of Tommy Steele in Half a sixpence'.... It is in 3d

One for the youngsters there

Youngsters =:
Tommy Steele - Who's that (he/she)?
Sixpence - What's one of them?

Tommy Steele, The UK's first Rock and Roller, mid fifties.

Sixpence, A silver coin long discontinued. Also called a tanner. Two sixpences = one shilling and err...that's it.

[tvrolet]

Sixteen Stone said:

Rayny said:

Mammasaid said:

silverfoxcc said:

My local cinema is showing a remake of Tommy Steele in Half a sixpence'.... It is in 3d

One for the youngsters there

Youngsters =:
Tommy Steele - Who's that (he/she)?
Sixpence - What's one of them?

Tommy Steele, The UK's first Rock and Roller, mid fifties.

Sixpence, A silver coin long discontinued. Also called a tanner. Two sixpences = one shilling and err...that's it.

And two thrupenny bits made a sixpence…ooh er missis, thrupenny bits.

As a kid I got dropped off at primary school, but I got a thrupenny bit every day for the bus fare home.

[Sixteen Stone]

A bus ride? It must have been a bit farthing.

Edited by Sixteen Stone on Friday 23 January 18:13

[Rayny]

Sixteen Stone said:

Rayny said:

Mammasaid said:

silverfoxcc said:

My local cinema is showing a remake of Tommy Steele in Half a sixpence'.... It is in 3d

One for the youngsters there

Youngsters =:
Tommy Steele - Who's that (he/she)?
Sixpence - What's one of them?

Tommy Steele, The UK's first Rock and Roller, mid fifties.

Sixpence, A silver coin long discontinued. Also called a tanner. Two sixpences = one shilling and err...that's it.

You sound like an 'Oldie' - How many Blackjacks/Fruit Salads could you get for your sixpence...

[tvrolet]

Rayny said:

Sixteen Stone said:

Rayny said:

Mammasaid said:

silverfoxcc said:

My local cinema is showing a remake of Tommy Steele in Half a sixpence'.... It is in 3d

One for the youngsters there

Youngsters =:
Tommy Steele - Who's that (he/she)?
Sixpence - What's one of them?

Tommy Steele, The UK's first Rock and Roller, mid fifties.

Sixpence, A silver coin long discontinued. Also called a tanner. Two sixpences = one shilling and err...that's it.

You sound like an 'Oldie' - How many Blackjacks/Fruit Salads could you get for your sixpence...

Never liked blackjacks…but thrupence got you a ‘lucky bag’ (branded Jamboree Bag) as I recall, which sometimes contained blackjacks

/hijack

[Sixteen Stone]

Rayny said:

You sound like an 'Oldie' - How many Blackjacks/Fruit Salads could you get for your sixpence...

Loads, plus wagon wheels. ice poles, gob stoppers, sherbert lemon etc. Every day on the way to school.

[Palmela]

Sixteen Stone said:

oads, plus wagon wheels. ice poles, gob stoppers, sherbert lemon etc. Every day on the way to school.

User name checks out!

[Sixteen Stone]

Palmela said:

Sixteen Stone said:

oads, plus wagon wheels. ice poles, gob stoppers, sherbert lemon etc. Every day on the way to school.

User name checks out!

Very good. But surprisingly I was as thin as a runner been until my mid twenties. I was sixteen stone once but went on a strict diet and lost four stone.

[Palmela]

Sixteen Stone said:

Very good. But surprisingly I was as thin as a runner been until my mid twenties. I was sixteen stone once but went on a strict diet and lost four stone.

Good effort.

[Vipers]

[MartG]