Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
grumpy52 said:
P. ONeill said:
Sad news about Paul O’Grady. Surprised to see he was from Birkenhead, I always thought he had a Wigan address.
I suspect POG would have appreciated that one .
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold."While driving the bus, the driver heard a little boy sitting in the front seat and saying, if my dad was a dog and mom was b
h, I would have been a puppy. If my dad was and ox and mom a cow, I would have been a calf. The boy continued with a long list of animals until the bus driver became super annoyed. He turned around and asked the kid what if his mom was a prostitue and dad was a pimp what he would be then? The boy became quiet and the bus driver turned back with a smirk on his face until he heard the little boy saying. “I would have been a bus driver”.
h, I would have been a puppy. If my dad was and ox and mom a cow, I would have been a calf. The boy continued with a long list of animals until the bus driver became super annoyed. He turned around and asked the kid what if his mom was a prostitue and dad was a pimp what he would be then? The boy became quiet and the bus driver turned back with a smirk on his face until he heard the little boy saying. “I would have been a bus driver”.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff