Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
Master Of Puppets said:
I went to the dentist and she said.... First things first, tongue up, that's great, now move it to the left, and now to the right, that's lovely.
After 20 minutes of this she pulled up her knickers and said.... Right get in the chair and let's have a look at those teeth.
After 20 minutes of this she pulled up her knickers and said.... Right get in the chair and let's have a look at those teeth.
A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit, and a cup of fresh coffee?"
He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?"
Again he declines. "No, thanks. It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger supper. "Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That'll only take a couple of minutes."
Once more, he declines. "Again, thanks, but it's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
"Well, then", she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm STARVING!"
He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?"
Again he declines. "No, thanks. It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe and buy him a burger supper. "Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That'll only take a couple of minutes."
Once more, he declines. "Again, thanks, but it's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
"Well, then", she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm STARVING!"
Pixelpeep Electric said:
turbobloke said:
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Two blokes are in a fine dining type of resaurant. One is boasting
about the breadth of his dining experience.
"Oh yes," he said. "I've tried everything. I had shark in Malaysia, dog in Korea, Elk in Canada,
Pangolin in China, Horse in Brittany, you name it, I've tried it."
"Good" said his companion, becoming increasingly nettled. " I've had most of those. Have you had Muskrat?"
"Certainly." said the big head, "fricasseed in white wine sauce, in Los Angeles. But there's one I bet you
haven't tried. Ever had camel?"
"yes, in Saudi," the other replied. "Only the toe though."
about the breadth of his dining experience.
"Oh yes," he said. "I've tried everything. I had shark in Malaysia, dog in Korea, Elk in Canada,
Pangolin in China, Horse in Brittany, you name it, I've tried it."
"Good" said his companion, becoming increasingly nettled. " I've had most of those. Have you had Muskrat?"
"Certainly." said the big head, "fricasseed in white wine sauce, in Los Angeles. But there's one I bet you
haven't tried. Ever had camel?"
"yes, in Saudi," the other replied. "Only the toe though."
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