Phrases that you enjoy the most

[MBVitoria]

Quite enjoying "that's a problem for future Homer. Man I don't envy that guy".

[TimmyMallett]

"You can f*ck off ALL the way over there, and when you get there you can f*ck off again"

Also, most of Catherine Cawood's gems from Happy Valley.

"pissed-up, lightweight, empty-headed... noo-noo" and "tt-faced b*stard"

[DaveTheRave87]

We used to have one for a guy I worked with who would tell long, rambling stories without a point;

"Talks a lot, says very little."

[Pixelpeep Electric]

A great reply to someone (esp at work!) who's been rambling on about all their health conditions...

"wow... if you were a horse, we'd have shot you by now..."

[Alex_225]

"He/She is so dense, they bend the light!"

[Deranged Rover]

TimmyMallett said:

"You can f*ck off ALL the way over there, and when you get there you can f*ck off again"

The full version I'd heard is: "fk off, and then when you get there, fk off some more. Then keep fking off until you get back here. Then fk off again"

[Deranged Rover]

StevieBee said:

'Double-Chalker' I quite liked - in recognition of the need for a SOCO officer to use two sticks of chalk to the mark the outline of where they fell!

[Milkyway]

MilkyWay Sr (93).
“It’s all go coming back”... which roughly means, being really busy and almost non stop.

Me... “Take a long walk off a short pier”.

Edited by Milkyway on Friday 31st March 14:04

[p1doc]

StescoG66 said:

As much use as Anne Franks drum kit

lol

[matchmaker]

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

[Milkyway]

matchmaker said:

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

“Bull**** baffles brains”.

[Deranged Rover]

Mrs D.R. has just reminded me of an old Judge Judy favourite:

“Beauty fades, but stupid lasts a lifetime”

[benp1]

There are so many gems here that I don't think I'll be able to remember them. Some genuine LOLs

[foggy]

GloverMart said:

Describing someone who's a little stupid.... "He's got two brain cells; one's gone missing and the other one's out looking for it."

Similarly, “The chances of his only two brain cells bumping into one another and knocking themselves out?!”

[bomb]

You appear to have a firm grasp of the wrong end of the stick.

[Milkyway]

“ I think that you are going to need a bigger shovel”

Edited by Milkyway on Friday 31st March 20:52

[Speed Badger]

This isn't particularly clever or acerbic, but for whenever someone was being boring or irritating, I always enjoyed my work colleague saying 'on your marks, get set, fk off.'

[DickyC]

He thinks he's okay. His end of the boat isn't sinking.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Unbelievable......50 million sperm and you were the quickest!

[captain.scarlet]

There is a thread identical to this from before, on which (with credit to that PHer) one person wrote a pretty good howler:

'Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.'

I think there was also a line by the character Tony Stewart played by the late Alan Igbon in Corrie (used to describe Eileen Grimshaw):

"Floats like a butterfly, stings like a JCB."

Another favourite response. E.g. 'I don't like [xyz]'...'Why, what's wrong with it?'

'"What's wrong with it?" What's right with it?!'