Yeah, that didn't work - your great ideas that weren't

Yeah, that didn't work - your great ideas that weren't

Author
Discussion

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,549 posts

197 months

Friday 31st March 2023
quotequote all
The laces on my slippers kept coming undone. Hot glue had to be the answer. But, as the hot glue went on clear, it was hard to see how much I'd applied.



I'll pop out for some brown paint later.

RC1807

12,483 posts

167 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Now it looks like you spaffed on your slippers.
laugh

skeeterm5

3,331 posts

187 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Surely the thing that went wrong here was buying them in the first place smile

Puzzles

1,784 posts

110 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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I had a load of weeds on my drive, I read that shop bought weed killer is crappy so I didn’t bother diluting it, it’s suppose to be 1:20.

Used it neat and on a windy day, a few weeks later and everything in sight had died.


Another great idea I wanted to show the missus was defrosting the car with hot water. The next time it was all frosted over I hear her scrapping the car before work, I quickly fill up a bottle with hot water from the tap.

I said something like watch this, I threw the water over the windscreen, unfortunately the auto wipers came on and the missus ended up with a face full of water.

Cudd Wudd

1,084 posts

124 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Oh no, now you've made them look really st hehe

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,549 posts

197 months

Friday 31st March 2023
quotequote all
RC1807 said:
Now it looks like you spaffed on your slippers.
laugh
Twice.

hehe

You have to admit, they are sexy.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,549 posts

197 months

Friday 31st March 2023
quotequote all
When ar were a lad, I needed some petrol to clean a small component on my Sprite. As the fuel filler was quite large with an uninterrupted view of the fuel in the tank, I devised a ladle made from coat hanger wire and a yoghurt pot. The wire survived and, more by luck than judgement, did the engine with its petrol/plastic mix after the pot dissolved.

The spinner of plates

17,649 posts

199 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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RC1807 said:
Now it looks like you spaffed on your slippers.
laugh
rofl

The spinner of plates

17,649 posts

199 months

Friday 31st March 2023
quotequote all
When in my first house I was trying to light some damp windfall in a garden firebox.
Wouldn't catch so grabbed a jug of petrol from the garage and threw it in to get things going.
Whilst looking down at it.
My eyebrows recovered in the coming weeks.
But it did get the fire going.
So call it 50/50.

shih tzu faced

2,597 posts

48 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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The spinner of plates said:
rofl
Cash in, get them on eBay biggrin

Spare tyre

9,460 posts

129 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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When we were about 17 we were waiting for a friend to turn up, not been to us before, no gps etc

There had been some diversion near us a few weeks before and the diversions signs piled up near the entrance to our close ready to be collected

Me and my mate text driving mate saying something like look for the sign, we had placed the diversion sign pointing into our road

What we had forgotten is there was a different diversion going on for a motorway bridge repair somewhere , after a few minutes we could hear lots of air brakes and beeping or reverse horns


Had totally gridlocked our close and caused chaos with stuck lorries etc

Simple times

StevieBee

12,795 posts

254 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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I used to Marshal the Startline for Rallycross at Brands Hatch in the 80s and 90s.

Because most of the races were only 2.5 laps and only used the startline to start the race, we devised a three grid system. Cars would exit the pit lane at Clearways and form into a herringbone grid. They'd then be pulled forward to the dummy grid (my job) in the positions for the main grid to which they'd be called forward to once the previous race had started. This kept the time between races very short and worked a treat.

One meet in early Feb, there'd been a big off which required some barrier reconstruction. This delayed the event and we were close to running out of useful daylight so the call was to speed up the start procedure. Instead of the light going green when the last car of the previous race had crossed the finish line (at the top of South Bank), it would start when the first car crossed it. This put some pressure on us on the dummy grid.

I took it upon myself to create two dummy grids and abandon the herringbone grid believing this would help to speed things up. Quite why I thought that I have no idea and wasn't my finest idea. Two races set off with the wrong cars; one with cars from entirely different groups (a 6R4 and RS200 with a bunch of near road-spec Novas). As a result of this, two races had to be re-run and the final was run in near darkness with the late, great Arthur Debenham (commentating) having to rely on turbo flare to identify the following cars.

I was mortified but in the Kentagon later, one of the drivers came over with a pint for me and said "that was the best cock up this year!", patted me on the back thanking me for the extra track time.

Spare tyre

9,460 posts

129 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Another aged 17 one

My friends uncle asked if I wanted to earn some money being a helper at his wedding, think it was £100 for a days easy work, big money at the time

Lots of straightforward jobs, put things on seats, move signs about, let dog out of car for a piss etc

One of the guests was bringing wine from France for the massive reception but had some issue so was really late

He’d been told to find me and give me keys to van so I could get all the warm wine in the coolers

Being 17 I didn’t know red wine was not to be chilled

I did my job well, rotating the wine through freezers to speed to process up

I remember there look of horror from various peoples faces, especially the french family who’d brought the wine along.

Castrol for a knave

4,640 posts

90 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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When I was a kid, growing up in the northern post apocalyptic wasteland of Bradford, I used to play in an old mill next to the house.

Parts of the mill were still in use, and there was often much treasure to be had rooting through the skips. I decided one skip would be best if I set it alight. I promptly did so and as the burning match caught, an almighty whoosh of flame fired out from a metal can of adhesive. This then spat hot adhesive in my direction, a large lump of which came to rest, right in the centre of my head, just above my hairline.

I managed to put the fire out, but by now I had a burned, bald patch about the size of a beer mat.

Since this was the very early 80's and we all had long hair, I formulated a plan. I got home and evaded my formidable grandmother, despite smelling like the Hindenburg and cut a fistful of collar length hair from the back of my head.

I then took some Superglue, and glued it on the bald patch. No flies on me!

Except...

I glued it the wrong way, so the newly adhered hair ran across the grain, so to to speak.

It remained this way for at least 3 days until it either flaked of or I pulled it off, which made school interesting - most of which was spent stood in the middle of hall, for being a retard or some other trumped up charge.

p4cks

6,885 posts

198 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Once dyed my hair black and couldn't get the black dye from my forehead so I found some carpet cleaner in my Mam's kitchen cupboard. On reflection, it did work as it did remove the dye from my forehead, but also several layers of skin. The scabs outlasted the dye!

Quhet

2,409 posts

145 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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When I was little I had the brilliant idea if making myself hover by standing in a bucket and picking it up. Didn't work, was disappointed.

Drawweight

2,863 posts

115 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Another childhood one.

My mother had gone out and left me instructions to wash and dry the dishes.

Me being me thought I’d save a bit of effort by putting the cutlery under the grill and warming it up.

Unfortunately the handles burst into flames 🔥

That was an interesting conversation when my mother got home.

douglasb

299 posts

221 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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Puzzles said:
The next time it was all frosted over I hear her scrapping the car before work,
Scrapping a car just because of some ice seems a bit extreme...

Spare tyre

9,460 posts

129 months

Friday 31st March 2023
quotequote all
Quhet said:
When I was little I had the brilliant idea if making myself hover by standing in a bucket and picking it up. Didn't work, was disappointed.
We were off roading on Salisbury plain and came across a family in a pickup who’d got stuck, the wife was stood in the bed of the truck, pushing the cab with all her might

Really wish I’d captured that

sinbaddio

2,357 posts

175 months

Friday 31st March 2023
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DickyC said:
RC1807 said:
Now it looks like you spaffed on your slippers.
laugh
Twice.

hehe

You have to admit, they are sexy.
I'm sure there's a specialist website where you could make enough money with that pic to 'splash out' on a new pair!