Cracking retorts...
Discussion
mat777 said:
I remember watching a comedian once on live at the Apollo. He was an American and was talking about how he been stopped for riding his (loud) US spec Harley in London.
WPC: you shouldn't be riding this motorbike, it's illegal over here
Him: yeah we'll you shouldn't be a police officer, you're a woman!
A truly terrible telling of a very funny story. Youtube is blocked at work but i will try to get the link later.WPC: you shouldn't be riding this motorbike, it's illegal over here
Him: yeah we'll you shouldn't be a police officer, you're a woman!
The Nur said:
LordGrover said:
I'm sorry to say my best retorts usually come to mind hours, days or weeks too late.
Just not quick-witted (or brave) enough at the time.
The French have a word for this, apparently it roughly translates to "Thoughts from the bottom of the stairs"Just not quick-witted (or brave) enough at the time.
I'll be damned if I can remember what it is though. I am similarly afflicted like yourself.
The Nur said:
LordGrover said:
I'm sorry to say my best retorts usually come to mind hours, days or weeks too late.
Just not quick-witted (or brave) enough at the time.
The French have a word for this, apparently it roughly translates to "Thoughts from the bottom of the stairs"Just not quick-witted (or brave) enough at the time.
I'll be damned if I can remember what it is though. I am similarly afflicted like yourself.
Literally 'the spirit of the staircase' - but as you said, the point is that you think of the comeback at the bottom of the stairs, when you've been "served" and had to leave the party and are almost out of the building.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalie...
I might as well leave that there, a short but moderately interesting Wikipedia entry that I believe to be pertinent to the topic at hand
I might as well leave that there, a short but moderately interesting Wikipedia entry that I believe to be pertinent to the topic at hand
Landlord said:
The Nur said:
AstonZagato said:
Esprit d'escalier
Thanks very much, I can never remember it!he talks about it in his stand-up show (which is brilliant by the way) in case you don't know what the hell I'm on about!
hman said:
Landlord said:
You guys watched Tim Minchin too, right?
No, because he's not funny.2005 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Directors' Choice Award for Dark Side
2005 Edinburgh Festival Fringe Perrier Comedy Award, Best Newcomer
2005 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, The Groggy Squirrel Critics' Award
2007 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival, Best Alternative Act
2009 Helpmann Award for Best Comedy Performer
2009 Green Room Awards, Cabaret: Best Original Songs
2009 Green Room Awards, Cabaret: Best Artiste
2010 Chortle Awards, Best Music or Variety Act
2012 Olivier Awards: Best New Musical for Matilda The Musical
Just because you don't like him doesn't mean others don't find him amusing.
As is quite evident from some of the posts on this thread, humour is a very personal thing. I mean, someone up there ^^^ thought this was amusing...
When confronted by a thug who has taken a dislike to you and says "What you lookin at?"... Retort. "I don't know, it's not labelled."
Maybe he was only 4 years old or brain-dead though.
Can't post the actual quote as I'm on the phone and an suffering from being crap at typing on it and its not really a retort but eric pickles came out with an absolute cracker about the mp going on I'm a celebrity. It was quoted in the FT if someone could do the hard work and find it to share. (Apologies for being lazy/incompetent!)
merc_man said:
A story from a colleague told to me on the golf course.
So, there was a group of us having a drink and one of us was at the bar waiting to get served. A guy came to the bar, someone of self perceived importance, and tried to jump the queue. Well our mate turned to him and said "You can wait your turn like everyone else", to which the man responded, in a classic style, "Do you know who I am?"
Our mate responded by shouting over to us "Here lads, there's a bloke here who doesn't know who he is".
A great put down to a pompous idiot.
Which is also a quote from Pirates Of The Caribbean - On Stranger Tides So, there was a group of us having a drink and one of us was at the bar waiting to get served. A guy came to the bar, someone of self perceived importance, and tried to jump the queue. Well our mate turned to him and said "You can wait your turn like everyone else", to which the man responded, in a classic style, "Do you know who I am?"
Our mate responded by shouting over to us "Here lads, there's a bloke here who doesn't know who he is".
A great put down to a pompous idiot.
omgus said:
mat777 said:
I remember watching a comedian once on live at the Apollo. He was an American and was talking about how he been stopped for riding his (loud) US spec Harley in London.
WPC: you shouldn't be riding this motorbike, it's illegal over here
Him: yeah we'll you shouldn't be a police officer, you're a woman!
A truly terrible telling of a very funny story. Youtube is blocked at work but i will try to get the link later.WPC: you shouldn't be riding this motorbike, it's illegal over here
Him: yeah we'll you shouldn't be a police officer, you're a woman!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5kbtx1XEtyw
Saw him live in Farnham of all places and he was bloody funny. His take on the English drinking culture is superb
He's also a pretty big guy so surprisingly he was the only comic that night who didn't get even slightly heckled.
Pixelpeep said:
Just found the thread + 98 odd pages = This might be a repost.
One of my favourites..
"I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong..."
Ooh I like this one, with a slow delivery and emphasis on could, a pause after then, and emphasis on both, it should leave someone with no doubt as to the scale of your derision.One of my favourites..
"I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong..."
Edited by Jayfish on Friday 9th November 14:07
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