'True Lad' - Banter

Author
Discussion

Jammy2008

3,112 posts

188 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
Racefan_uk said:
website said:
Charity golf match at St Andrews Golf Club (Old Course). Mates Dad playing and few celebs taking part. Mate and I notice Sir Sean Connery at public bar and decide that this is possibly the only chance to speak with him. First and last alcohol fueled question was "Look Sir Sean...Please (LADS)call me Sean...OK Sean...You were the upper echelons of Hollywood society...Yesh...You must have f*cked someone famous?" Quick reply was "Gentleman never tells, Gentleman never tells LADSH" Mate and I having decided we had embarrassed ourselves enough decided to leave, whilst walking back to mates flat a car, blacked out people carrier, drives past and stops...as we walk past the window comes down and Sir Sean sticks his head out and says "Petula Clark...1969...in the arse" Window goes up car drives off! Sir Sean Connery...MEAGA LAD!
roflroflrofl
After you trawl through the mountans of crap on that website there's some good stuff, fake or not. rofl

thatone1967

4,193 posts

190 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
Jammy2008 said:
Racefan_uk said:
website said:
Charity golf match at St Andrews Golf Club (Old Course). Mates Dad playing and few celebs taking part. Mate and I notice Sir Sean Connery at public bar and decide that this is possibly the only chance to speak with him. First and last alcohol fueled question was "Look Sir Sean...Please (LADS)call me Sean...OK Sean...You were the upper echelons of Hollywood society...Yesh...You must have f*cked someone famous?" Quick reply was "Gentleman never tells, Gentleman never tells LADSH" Mate and I having decided we had embarrassed ourselves enough decided to leave, whilst walking back to mates flat a car, blacked out people carrier, drives past and stops...as we walk past the window comes down and Sir Sean sticks his head out and says "Petula Clark...1969...in the arse" Window goes up car drives off! Sir Sean Connery...MEAGA LAD!
roflroflrofl
After you trawl through the mountans of crap on that website there's some good stuff, fake or not. rofl
I had just copied and pasted the above.. would have been the mother of all reposts... and not the first time I had done that... (a repost, Not Petula Clark)!

Stedman

7,213 posts

191 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
That is st.

escargot

17,110 posts

216 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
My wife voted for the conservatives in the election.. I'm joking of course, there isn't a polling station in my kitchen.



That made me chuckle.

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
Tiggsy said:
champ54321 said:
i'm no superhero said:
' Mate got absolutely bazookered after a night out and started to drive home. Trying to be cautious while driving past a police car, they turn round and stop him. Before they can start talking to him, he pulls his keys out of the ignition throws them in the road then grabs a bottle of vodka from the glove compartment and steps outside with it. As the cozzers approach him he starts literally downing the vodka. They wait for him to finish his swig and ask him why he's just done this. He said he suffers from anxiety and is an alcoholic and seeing the police gave him a panic attack, so he had to start drinking. Couldn't have breathalised him as it would have been pointless and unreliable. Law-knowing, drink-driving LAD'



  • The second one is car related for PH. I don't think it is good, but nonetheless funny.*
Not that I'm trying to say drink driving is a good thing..... but that is a genious idea!
Serious? You think that would work? Good luck in court!
If the lawyer could prove that he amount of vodka you consumed was resposible for the amount of alcohol in your breath test i would say its possible, not that I would reccomend any one go and try it!

I know of someone who has got themselves out of a ban, although not in in such an immediate situation, by proving the amount consumed was after the car was found.

Chris_w666

22,655 posts

198 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
champ54321 said:
Tiggsy said:
champ54321 said:
i'm no superhero said:
' Mate got absolutely bazookered after a night out and started to drive home. Trying to be cautious while driving past a police car, they turn round and stop him. Before they can start talking to him, he pulls his keys out of the ignition throws them in the road then grabs a bottle of vodka from the glove compartment and steps outside with it. As the cozzers approach him he starts literally downing the vodka. They wait for him to finish his swig and ask him why he's just done this. He said he suffers from anxiety and is an alcoholic and seeing the police gave him a panic attack, so he had to start drinking. Couldn't have breathalised him as it would have been pointless and unreliable. Law-knowing, drink-driving LAD'



  • The second one is car related for PH. I don't think it is good, but nonetheless funny.*
Not that I'm trying to say drink driving is a good thing..... but that is a genious idea!
Serious? You think that would work? Good luck in court!
If the lawyer could prove that he amount of vodka you consumed was resposible for the amount of alcohol in your breath test i would say its possible, not that I would reccomend any one go and try it!

I know of someone who has got themselves out of a ban, although not in in such an immediate situation, by proving the amount consumed was after the car was found.
Yes because doing blood tests and a properly calibrated test at the police station wouldn't prove otherwise would it? banghead

thatone1967

4,193 posts

190 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
Chris_w666 said:
champ54321 said:
Tiggsy said:
champ54321 said:
i'm no superhero said:
' Mate got absolutely bazookered after a night out and started to drive home. Trying to be cautious while driving past a police car, they turn round and stop him. Before they can start talking to him, he pulls his keys out of the ignition throws them in the road then grabs a bottle of vodka from the glove compartment and steps outside with it. As the cozzers approach him he starts literally downing the vodka. They wait for him to finish his swig and ask him why he's just done this. He said he suffers from anxiety and is an alcoholic and seeing the police gave him a panic attack, so he had to start drinking. Couldn't have breathalised him as it would have been pointless and unreliable. Law-knowing, drink-driving LAD'



  • The second one is car related for PH. I don't think it is good, but nonetheless funny.*
Not that I'm trying to say drink driving is a good thing..... but that is a genious idea!
Serious? You think that would work? Good luck in court!
If the lawyer could prove that he amount of vodka you consumed was resposible for the amount of alcohol in your breath test i would say its possible, not that I would reccomend any one go and try it!

I know of someone who has got themselves out of a ban, although not in in such an immediate situation, by proving the amount consumed was after the car was found.
Yes because doing blood tests and a properly calibrated test at the police station wouldn't prove otherwise would it? banghead
years ago, a mate tried something similar, had been reported for Drink Driving, so he got home before the BIB and downed a large amout of achohol... cannot remember the details, only that he did get done.

KaraK

13,177 posts

208 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
After clicking on the link I can confirm that it was exactly what I expected - idiotic chavs boasting of their "100% true" exploits in drinking and shagging.

What a load of pointless st.

911motorsport

7,251 posts

232 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
After viewing that site I shall NEVER again attempt to pass off an urban legend as one of my own life experiences redface My toes are curling upwards with cringing

Edited by 911motorsport on Tuesday 11th May 14:50

gilla

19,741 posts

189 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
and the SC annecdote is, in fact, an old joke my dad told me some 10 years ago.

hooperpride

689 posts

177 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
escargot said:
My wife voted for the conservatives in the election.. I'm joking of course, there isn't a polling station in my kitchen.



That made me chuckle.
hehe not bad at all

Most of it is pure bullst but I suppose it is an entertaining enough waste of 10 minutes

HBLC

610 posts

171 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
So is 'LAD' slang for 'c**t'?

sneijder

5,221 posts

233 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
ApexJimi said:
i'm no superhero said:
Mate got absolutely bazookered after a night out and started to drive home. Trying to be cautious while driving past a police car, they turn round and stop him. Before they can start talking to him, he pulls his keys out of the ignition throws them in the road then grabs a bottle of vodka from the glove compartment and steps outside with it. As the cozzers approach him he starts literally downing the vodka. They wait for him to finish his swig and ask him why he's just done this. He said he suffers from anxiety and is an alcoholic and seeing the police gave him a panic attack, so he had to start drinking. Couldn't have breathalised him as it would have been pointless and unreliable. Law-knowing, drink-driving LAD'
Except in reality, the police would have arrested him on suspicion of drunk-driving, and the subsequent blood test calculations would have proved his blood alcohol level before he drank the vodka.

rolleyes

I haven't clicked the link, but the stories I've read so far on this thread are risible, to say the least.
Because everyone drives around with a bottle of vodka in the glovebox, right. SAD.

750turbo

6,164 posts

223 months

Tuesday 11th May 2010
quotequote all
What utter utter dross!

heta1

34 posts

169 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
quotequote all
Pointless wkers, talking pointless bks.

Chris_w666

22,655 posts

198 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
quotequote all
heta1 said:
Pointless wkers, talking pointless bks.
Oi we like it here.

Adam B

27,142 posts

253 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
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i'm no superhero said:
Thoughts?
overwhelmingly - what a load of sub-Nuts drivel

i'm no superhero

Original Poster:

301 posts

170 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
quotequote all
Adam B said:
i'm no superhero said:
Thoughts?
overwhelmingly - what a load of sub-Nuts drivel
hehe

Didn't expect PH to like it in honesty!

"I dried my cock in a Dyson Airblade. LAD."

Adam B

27,142 posts

253 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
quotequote all
i'm no superhero said:
"I dried my tiny lad in a Dyson Airblade. COCK."
EFA

Famous Graham

26,553 posts

224 months

Wednesday 12th May 2010
quotequote all
HBLC said:
So is 'LAD' slang for 'c**t'?
It occurred to me that you could replace "LAD" with "TWAT" in every instance and it would still work.