Stupid Sayings (That You Like)

[RLve]

Razor cut

(back in the day)

[Se7enheaven]

Cocked more times than Elmer Fudds gun

[mrh1275]

Has a rocking horse got a wooden dick

[Rich_AR]

alorotom said:

Body like baywatch, face like crimewatch

Shouldn't that be: Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch aka "BoBFoC"

[generationx]

She was all over him like a bad suit

Sweating like a rapist

Shaking like a stting dog

I was buzzing like an old fridge

Pissing like a race horse

Camp as a row of tents


etc...

[alorotom]

Rich_AR said:

alorotom said:

Body like baywatch, face like crimewatch

Shouldn't that be: Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch aka "BoBFoC"

That's what's been currently "popularised" on twitter however the previous in my post has been used in the northeast for at least 15yrs before that

[Pieman68]

A face like the south end of a north facing camel

As mad as a bag of badgers with a cat thrown in

A fanny like a badly packed kebab

10lbs of lard in a 5lb bag - when referring to a larger lady in clothing which could be considered too small

Sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish farm

[generationx]

alorotom said:

Rich_AR said:

alorotom said:

Body like baywatch, face like crimewatch

Shouldn't that be: Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch aka "BoBFoC"

That's what's been currently "popularised" on twitter however the previous in my post has been used in the northeast for at least 15yrs before that

As far as I know it's always been BOBFOC - your version would be BLBFLC...

[steveo3002]

as popular as a cock flavour lollypop

[8Ace]

Hands like cows' tits. Description of one who is dextriously inept.

I'm terribly sorry Mrs Johnson, but I accidentally cut through a major blood vessel near your husband's heart and he didn't survive the surgery. I'm afraid I was on the pop last night and I've got hands like cows' tits this morning. My bill will be in the post. The nurse will show you out. Good day.

[grumpy52]

A couple of old school ones
Nipples like scammel wheelnuts .
Her arse swings like a brothel door on pay day .

[castex]

Effing and Jeffing.

[FoxtrotOscar1]

WolfAir said:

I've always enjoyed breast related sayings i came (haha) across when i used to do door work fair few years ago...
I'm steaming off me t*ts (i am drunk beyond comprehension)
You're getting on my t*ts ( you are annoying me)
It's gone t*ts up (well that didnt work)
Alright, keep your t*ts on (calm down dear)

Similarly.

Hakuna yer tata's
Rest your chest.
Don't have a rack attack.

[matchmaker]

Sweating like a black man at an Alabama rape trial.

(that's the relatively PC version)

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

From Frankie Boyle.

She's been shot in to more than Tupac.

Harsh, but I nearly died laughing!

[Biggles delivers the goods]

referring to someone's ineptitude

he doesn't know if he's having a st or a haircut

[Bdevo3]

She was like a burst bale of silage

I've seen better lookin heads on a pint of stout

She was like riding a bag of snots

Your as useful as a chocolate teapot

Fill her with cider and ride her

When God was handing out brains she thought he said trains and jumped out of the way

[Fastchas]

If I was allowed to 'have a go' on Kylie Minogue I might say 'I'd be on that faster than a tramp on a bag of chips!'

[V12 Virgin]

Sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage

They're as straight as a roundabout

[McVities]

Doesn't know the difference between his earhole and his ahole

She has seen more helmets than Adolf Hitler