'tight' jokes?

[Jimmytno1]

Random title I know, anyways, my uncle (in law) is famously tight with his cash and we are running out of jokes to throw at him for our amusement! Any suggestions? Favourites so far are the obvious 'so tight he squeaks when he walks' and an adaptation of a joke about the scots being tight ' he was fighting over a penny with his wife, that's how copper wire was invented' any suggestions would be greatly appreciated so we have plenty of ammo over the Xmas festivities!

[WorAl]

He dropped that <insert coin> and it hit him on the back of the head.

[sneijder]

If you spot a moth at any time, ask if he just opened his wallet. Always winds them up.

[Jimmytno1]

Both been used many times already I'm afraid! Maybe we should leave him alone!

[Hedders]

I assume you have used the one about him always managing to be the first out of the mini cab, but somehow, the last to get to the bar.

[Jimmytno1]

Brilliant! It's actually happened too!

[Hedders]

Maybe he is tighter than a camel's snatch in a sandstorm ?

[maniac0796]

He's as tight as his daughter?

Or be more sinister?

Just wink at him afterwards.

[Jimmytno1]

Ha ha, these are getting good, cheers all!

[Hammer67]

He`s so tight he only breathes in.

[sneijder]

Hammer67 said:

He`s so tight he only breathes in.

I'm having that !

[alex b]

Short arms & deep pockets ?

[WorAl]

sneijder said:

Hammer67 said:

He`s so tight he only breathes in.

I'm having that !

"yoink" also

[Jonny_693]

Tighter than a Nuns chuff.

Tighter than a Coffin nail.

That could peel an orange in his pocket.

Edited by Jonny_693 on Thursday 11th November 23:04

[Mazda Baiter]

Big nose, because air's free.

(only works if they have a big nose, obviously.)

[C8PPO]

When he opens his wallet, the Queen blinks.

[zetec]

Why are 20p's shaped like they are?


So you can get them out of a tightwads hand with a spanner!

[TotalControl]

Just tell him he can't take any of it away with him when he dies.

[Hammer67]

He`s so tight when he farts only dogs can hear it.

[Hammer67]

He`s so tight when he wakes up he checks under the bed to see if he`s lost any sleep.