'tight' jokes?

[HereBeMonsters]

NDA said:

As tight as an otters pocket.

I think you've confused a few similies here.

[Bill]

Tight as a tick's winky.

Tight as a shark's arse at 40 fathoms.

[cal72]

Hey uncle, you are so tight you make scrooge look like a fking st nicholas.

[Jimmytno1]

Guys, these are very good indeed! I can't wait till I see him next, he is in for some abuse next time I see him!

[voyds9]

Every time he opens his wallet all you can see is a white fiver.

[DavesFlaps]

So tight he has a glass door on his fridge so he can make sure the light goes off when he closes it?

[Ruttager]

He's so tight, he found a pair of crutches one day so he went home and broke his sons leg.

[Otter Smacker]

As tight as the priest said about his choir boys.

[308mate]

Next time youre at the bar wonderings whos round it is, tell him he wouldnt shout if a shark bit him.

[10 Pence Short]

He's so tight he could peel an orange in his pocket.

[WorAl]

So tight he wouldn't spend Christmas.

[al1991]

Ruttager said:

He's so tight, he found a pair of crutches one day so he went home and broke his sons leg.

[NDA]

HereBeMonsters said:

NDA said:

As tight as an otters pocket.

I think you've confused a few similies here.

I was just trying to steer us slightly.......

[lazyitus]

sneijder said:

If you spot a moth at any time, ask if he just opened his wallet. Always winds them up.

fk - I never realised moths were so touchy.

[gilla]

he's so tight I can sharpen my pencil in his ring piece

[Landlord]

"He's so tight he rarely buys a drink for other people. In fact, he often goes to great lengths to avoid paying for drinks that he won't be drinking himself. This also extends to all other areas of his life where paying money out would be called for."

Not sure it's punchy enough though.

[Lord R]

He is so tight his kids were 8 before they found out the gas meter wasnt a money box

He has found out he has suger in his water so he now pees on his cornflakes

[Incorrigible]

HereBeMonsters said:

NDA said:

As tight as an otters pocket.

I think you've confused a few similies here.

Every otters pocket has a silver lining

[Matt UK]

There is of course the old "tighter than a duck's arse"

[anonymous-user]

He's so tight, he only crys out of one eye!