Discussion
richtea78 said:
Doctor called me today, he is referring me to a psychiatrist for an assessment.
Really not sure how to feel about this, must admit Im s
tting it more than a bit!
Nothing to worry about. If you had a problem with your plumbing, you'd have no problem being referred to a urologist would you? It's just the appropriate specialist for the particular health problem. Your brain is after all just an organ like all the others, technically. Really not sure how to feel about this, must admit Im s
tting it more than a bit!Zwolf said:
Nothing to worry about. If you had a problem with your plumbing, you'd have no problem being referred to a urologist would you? It's just the appropriate specialist for the particular health problem. Your brain is after all just an organ like all the others, technically.
When you put it like that it sounds simple, thank you!GentleFellow said:
Hi Ruskie, :-)
I suffered from depression in my twenties. Can't remember what it felt like when I was 'in it'; period of blankness. Looking back, I don't know what caused things - I had a good life......
UI was mucht he same, odd feelings and down periods, late twenties. after breaking up with a girlfriend i felt so miserable and pointless I went to the doc. He asked me to explain and I just broke down blubbering for half hour pouring out all my crap. he then calmly explained I'd be better seeing the nurse for some counseling. So, I had to do the whole embarrassing thing again, couldn't hold back the blubbering. I suffered from depression in my twenties. Can't remember what it felt like when I was 'in it'; period of blankness. Looking back, I don't know what caused things - I had a good life......
After all this she then pointed out that seeing as I had moved house I really ought to register with a GP nearer home.......
Through my tears and snot and snuffles I told her no way, no way was I going to go through all that crap again. I think she saw something maybe I didn't, so she decided to let me visit her once a week and talk things through. She gave me some info about setting goals, making achievements, being positive etc. It worked, sort of, I passed my car test, aged 29.
I finally did reach some of my goals, and six months later I packed in everything and left the country, for 13 years, but that was something I'd been thinking about for a decade or more.
I work for the ambulance service. A lot (a HUGE amount) of patients are/have been treated for depression. It is maybe the most common thing there is.
People accept that their physical health gauge will swing from "excellent" to "poor" everything now and then, when you are ill. Some days, when you feel crap then it might only be "ok". With time out and maybe some meds, then it will swing back to the good end.
This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent".
Everyone has mental health issues, just in the same way everyone has physical health issues.
dele said:
I'm still very reluctant to go to the doctors because half of me says there's nothing wrong with me and the other half says it'll ruin my life by staying on my record that I had to get treated for depression
Look at it in this way. In your head, you have two gauges, like on a car. One reads physical health and one reads mental health.People accept that their physical health gauge will swing from "excellent" to "poor" everything now and then, when you are ill. Some days, when you feel crap then it might only be "ok". With time out and maybe some meds, then it will swing back to the good end.
This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent".
Everyone has mental health issues, just in the same way everyone has physical health issues.
JumboBeef said:
...People accept that their physical health gauge will swing from "excellent" to "poor" everything now and then, when you are ill. Some days, when you feel crap then it might only be "ok". With time out and maybe some meds, then it will swing back to the good end.
This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent"...
Great post. This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent"...
I told my parents what I had been feeling and going on in my head today, much much harder than I expected.
I probably should of planned it better but it just came out in conversation, I just blurted it out.
Cant remember the last time I cried in front of my parents, probably 15 years ago
In hindsight definitely should of thought it through but I am glad I told them.
I probably should of planned it better but it just came out in conversation, I just blurted it out.
Cant remember the last time I cried in front of my parents, probably 15 years ago
In hindsight definitely should of thought it through but I am glad I told them.
Fort Jefferson said:
It's amazing how many of us suffer with depression
Not really: http://www.cks.nhs.uk/depression/background_inform...NHS said:
- Depression is the fourth leading cause of disability and disease worldwide.
- World Health Organization (WHO) projections indicate that depression will be the highest ranked cause of disease burden in developed countries by the year 2020.
- Depression is the third most common reason for consultation in general practice in the UK and is the most common psychiatric disorder.
- Each year, 6% of adults experience an episode of depression, and over the course of their lifetime more than 15% of the population will experience an episode.
- An episode of depression serious enough to require treatment occurs in about one in four women and one in ten men at some point in their lives.
- About two-thirds of adults will at some time experience depressed mood of sufficient severity to interfere with their normal activities.
I thought I would update this as I have my first session with the pyschiatrist tomorrow.
I have been taking the citalopram for almost a month now and have noticed an improvement in some things. The first week was particularly bad as had some really strange moods and kept finding myself crying for the stupidest reasons. Also had a very strange taste in my mouth, very bitter but kept on with them and it has improved now.
I am finding I am sleeping much better and have a lot more energy and have been much better at getting to work in the mornings. My Crohns disease has also improved a fair bit which may be a co-incidence but I am not sure.
Hopefully the pyschiatrist will help me work out what is causing it and then I can work on preventing it rather than taking the medication to solve it.
I have been taking the citalopram for almost a month now and have noticed an improvement in some things. The first week was particularly bad as had some really strange moods and kept finding myself crying for the stupidest reasons. Also had a very strange taste in my mouth, very bitter but kept on with them and it has improved now.
I am finding I am sleeping much better and have a lot more energy and have been much better at getting to work in the mornings. My Crohns disease has also improved a fair bit which may be a co-incidence but I am not sure.
Hopefully the pyschiatrist will help me work out what is causing it and then I can work on preventing it rather than taking the medication to solve it.
Good stuff Rich. I didn't have any side effects on Cit apart from the very first day I took it which was on an empty stomach. It provided a subtle lift and stopped the lows feeling so low. It stabilised me and gave me a start point to work from.
I've been off it now for about 4 months having gradually wound it down and I'm doing good. You'll get there mate.
If you want to talk offline, PM me your number and I'd be happy to talk.
I've been off it now for about 4 months having gradually wound it down and I'm doing good. You'll get there mate.
If you want to talk offline, PM me your number and I'd be happy to talk.
richtea78 said:
I thought I would update this as I have my first session with the pyschiatrist tomorrow.
I have been taking the citalopram for almost a month now and have noticed an improvement in some things. The first week was particularly bad as had some really strange moods and kept finding myself crying for the stupidest reasons. Also had a very strange taste in my mouth, very bitter but kept on with them and it has improved now.
I am finding I am sleeping much better and have a lot more energy and have been much better at getting to work in the mornings. My Crohns disease has also improved a fair bit which may be a co-incidence but I am not sure.
Hopefully the pyschiatrist will help me work out what is causing it and then I can work on preventing it rather than taking the medication to solve it.
Like you, i'm going through something similar, however i'm suffering from bad anxiety at this stage in my life (im 26). It started when i had a panic attack in April and i've never quite got over it since, although things have improved. i've been seeing a low level mental health nurse but today i start with a qualified therapist for a course of CBT. CBT got offered to me so after consultation with my doctor he said go for it as it won't do any harm.I have been taking the citalopram for almost a month now and have noticed an improvement in some things. The first week was particularly bad as had some really strange moods and kept finding myself crying for the stupidest reasons. Also had a very strange taste in my mouth, very bitter but kept on with them and it has improved now.
I am finding I am sleeping much better and have a lot more energy and have been much better at getting to work in the mornings. My Crohns disease has also improved a fair bit which may be a co-incidence but I am not sure.
Hopefully the pyschiatrist will help me work out what is causing it and then I can work on preventing it rather than taking the medication to solve it.
I've been taking Diazepam (2mG) on and off as required since April, Recently (within the last month) i've found im struggling to get to sleep, my mind is constantly thinking random crap and never becomes relaxed, hence the taking Diazepam to get me off to sleep, I'm similar and dislike taking meds hence the CBT to give me the tools to relax etc.
When i had my really bad anxiety April - June, i was in a really low stage, i would say Mild Depression, Things that helped we're Keeping active, bike rides, walks, swimming, something to look foreward to. I also told my parents about what i was going through and all the negative thoughts i was having, which probably wasn't the best of things to do as my mom is a worrier.
It did help talking to family about it, like getting something of you're chest, however my downfall was because i was talking about it to much it was always at the forefront of my mind thus fueling anxiety. As said above there is a real stigma about mental health, something like 1 in 3 will suffer from it at some point or another. Your not alone... And i bet you probably have thoughts that what you're going through will never end??, can't see light at the end of the tunnel etc?, we'll i did and i can say things do get better over time.
Sorry for driveling on, HTH
Gaz
Gazzas86 said:
Like you, i'm going through something similar, however i'm suffering from bad anxiety at this stage in my life (im 26). It started when i had a panic attack in April and i've never quite got over it since, although things have improved. i've been seeing a low level mental health nurse but today i start with a qualified therapist for a course of CBT. CBT got offered to me so after consultation with my doctor he said go for it as it won't do any harm.
I've been taking Diazepam (2mG) on and off as required since April, Recently (within the last month) i've found im struggling to get to sleep, my mind is constantly thinking random crap and never becomes relaxed, hence the taking Diazepam to get me off to sleep, I'm similar and dislike taking meds hence the CBT to give me the tools to relax etc.
When i had my really bad anxiety April - June, i was in a really low stage, i would say Mild Depression, Things that helped we're Keeping active, bike rides, walks, swimming, something to look foreward to. I also told my parents about what i was going through and all the negative thoughts i was having, which probably wasn't the best of things to do as my mom is a worrier.
It did help talking to family about it, like getting something of you're chest, however my downfall was because i was talking about it to much it was always at the forefront of my mind thus fueling anxiety. As said above there is a real stigma about mental health, something like 1 in 3 will suffer from it at some point or another. Your not alone... And i bet you probably have thoughts that what you're going through will never end??, can't see light at the end of the tunnel etc?, we'll i did and i can say things do get better over time.
Sorry for driveling on, HTH
Gaz
would love more Diazepam as its the only thing that makes me sleep but doc wont prescribe it for more than a week as its addictive. which it is as i want more as i love to sleep!I've been taking Diazepam (2mG) on and off as required since April, Recently (within the last month) i've found im struggling to get to sleep, my mind is constantly thinking random crap and never becomes relaxed, hence the taking Diazepam to get me off to sleep, I'm similar and dislike taking meds hence the CBT to give me the tools to relax etc.
When i had my really bad anxiety April - June, i was in a really low stage, i would say Mild Depression, Things that helped we're Keeping active, bike rides, walks, swimming, something to look foreward to. I also told my parents about what i was going through and all the negative thoughts i was having, which probably wasn't the best of things to do as my mom is a worrier.
It did help talking to family about it, like getting something of you're chest, however my downfall was because i was talking about it to much it was always at the forefront of my mind thus fueling anxiety. As said above there is a real stigma about mental health, something like 1 in 3 will suffer from it at some point or another. Your not alone... And i bet you probably have thoughts that what you're going through will never end??, can't see light at the end of the tunnel etc?, we'll i did and i can say things do get better over time.
Sorry for driveling on, HTH
Gaz
CapriV6S said:
What are other people's experiences of Mirtazapine?
Hated it with a passion. Felt completely 'drugged up' on low and medium doses and swapped back onto citalopram as I couldn't deal with the zombification and murderous mood swings. Mirtazapine probably won't effect most people this way as it turned out, after trying Prozac and escitalopram, that I couldn't handle SSRI type drugs (Mirt isn't an SSRI but behaves like one at lower doses). I was much better on Clomipramine mood wise but I now have some heart issues that may well have been initiated by it. <sigh>
One thing that seems to happen to almost everyone on Mirtazapine is incredible weight gain and associated ravenous hunger. I added close-to-20 Kg in a little less than 2 months and just needed to eat, eat, eat. I used to eat packs of those Waitrose Belgian chocolate cookies in one sitting (5 large biccies, 1200 calls per bag) often more than once a day. This ceased when I finished with Mirtazapine.
Edited by Insanity Magnet on Thursday 13th September 21:47
JumboBeef said:
Look at it in this way. In your head, you have two gauges, like on a car. One reads physical health and one reads mental health.
People accept that their physical health gauge will swing from "excellent" to "poor" everything now and then, when you are ill. Some days, when you feel crap then it might only be "ok". With time out and maybe some meds, then it will swing back to the good end.
This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent".
Everyone has mental health issues, just in the same way everyone has physical health issues.
I too work for the ambulance service. What an excelllent post.People accept that their physical health gauge will swing from "excellent" to "poor" everything now and then, when you are ill. Some days, when you feel crap then it might only be "ok". With time out and maybe some meds, then it will swing back to the good end.
This is the same with your mental health: it will also move from "excellent" to "poor" on those days when you are stressed or feeling down about something. With depression, it tends to stick and needs a helping hand to return to "excellent".
Everyone has mental health issues, just in the same way everyone has physical health issues.
I am very up and down at the moment. Good days and bad days. Using your post I would say both are hovering above poor at the moment.
The best way I can describe myself is as a functional depressive. Noone knows or suspects as I go about my day.
Evening everyone. I have read this Topic (post) if that’s the right word for it and thought I would add a post with my experience with Depression and Anxiety.
It is Friday night and I have had a few but I find it easier to talk about it when I have (although I know alcohol can be a big cause of it) so spelling police please hold back whilst I try to put into my own words how it’s been.
So this is how it goes.
Back in July 2007 I met Miss C, I was 24 and she was 18. From the first moment we met I knew she was the one for me. After seeing each other for a few weeks everything clicked into place and we became a couple. Come September my Granddad sadly past away.
Although most people would deal with this in a normal way of grieving, I did not cry but this would become the “trigger” that sent me into depression.
Looking back everything in my life was going the right way. I had a good job, had just met an amazing girl and had everything to live for.
About one week later (can’t be sure because times back then are all a bit of a blur) Depression and Anxiety hit.
I can still remember the night it did like it was yesterday. I remember going to bed thinking why does Miss C love me so much? Why do I deserve her? Why is she with me? What can I give her? I don’t deserve her (All that I can now see were irrational thoughts).
Put it this way after going to bed at 22:30 and getting up at 7:30 for work I probably had about 2 hours of sleep. I knew from that moment that something wasn’t right and booked an emergency appointment with the doctor.
At the appointment the doctor made me fill in a questionnaire which resulted in him diagnosing me with anxiety and depression. The next few months I can safely say were the darkest days I have ever had.
I would be sick due to the anxiety and lost at least a stone in weight (started at 9 stone) so was quite noticeable, lost all appetite was given triazepan to help me sleep (I now know why they will only prescribe 7days, amazingly addictive drug) plus an antidepressant that I can’t remember the name of.
I remember after one morning waking up next to Miss C who at that time could not drive and thinking I couldn’t take her home as I wasn’t sure I would be able to leave the house again to pick her up and that meant I would never see her again.
The littlest negative thought would manifest itself into the biggest negative aspect of my life. I remember reading a horoscope of all things by septic peg (mystic meg) in the sun and taking everything she said negative seriously. The usual lottery win prediction didn’t even register.
To cut a long story short this followed by 4 months of very dark days going from one antidepressant to the next and 6 weeks of work with only sick pay to live on.
All through this Miss C Stuck by me.
Then it happened.
An appointment came through to see a councillor.
This was the week before Christmas.
This slight little, softly spoken Lady who asked me some very difficult questions but due to the timing it would mean I would not have a follow up appointment until 2 weeks later. This led to a terrible Christmas as my head was still full of irrational thoughts (which later I would understand being due to a chemical imbalance in my brain) but just about got through it (luckily I have never experienced any suicidal thoughts but can see how they would easily manifest themselves).
Little did I know that this was the start to my recovery.
After the initial appointment (whilst still on antidepressants) I had five more hour long sessions (one a week). This little lady would only ask me a few questions which would draw out the reasons that were causing my anxiety and depression. (if only I could remember her name and the charity she worked for to thank her).
Within 4 months (April 2008) I had managed to wean myself of the antidepressants (which if I’m honest didn’t help me, but I would never discount them as everyone is different and no matter what the internet says there is a purpose for them as there is no “normal human being”).
So fast forward to today, 15th September 2012.
I have now been married to Miss C who has now become Mrs B and has been for a year and a half. We are expecting little B end of March start of April and I have never been happier.
I am the first to admit I still have “dark days” but can now sense them coming and deal with them without wondering what the f**k is going on. As soon as you get to the bottom of what the trigger is the better you can deal with it.
It will never go away completely but you can put it to the back of your mind. It’s all about the way you deal with it that matters.
Sorry for the long post but I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how low you are, how far away tomorrow seems, your future is never far away.
Those thoughts that are going around in your head are as irrational as they seem and no matter what you think at this time, life is for living and things can only get better.
Ignore the negative internet post although I know from my own experience this is easier said than done.
There is no easy or planned route to get you out of it apart from the one that is right for you.
Anti-depressants may work for you the same as counselling may help for the next person and you will be surprised at the amount of people that have gone through what you are going through.
Have no shame in seeking help in the same way that you would if you broke your leg. There is no difference in breaking your brain apart from the visual aspect and the support you will get from family and friends will out way the negative and backward thinking from the few individuals that you may meet.
I’m not claiming to be am expert and can only help with my own experience but I thought it was about time that I wrote this down and if it helps at least one person then I feel that it is worth it.
If you are going through this now and are reading this then you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter which way you find it and I am living proof. .
No matter what you are thinking at this minute in my darkest days I lived with my mum, had a girlfriend and was off work on sick pay.
I now have my own house (well half it’s shared ownership) am married and expecting my first child in March.
No matter what situation you are within a year with the right help you will be in a better place.
Any way bed time…..
It is Friday night and I have had a few but I find it easier to talk about it when I have (although I know alcohol can be a big cause of it) so spelling police please hold back whilst I try to put into my own words how it’s been.
So this is how it goes.
Back in July 2007 I met Miss C, I was 24 and she was 18. From the first moment we met I knew she was the one for me. After seeing each other for a few weeks everything clicked into place and we became a couple. Come September my Granddad sadly past away.
Although most people would deal with this in a normal way of grieving, I did not cry but this would become the “trigger” that sent me into depression.
Looking back everything in my life was going the right way. I had a good job, had just met an amazing girl and had everything to live for.
About one week later (can’t be sure because times back then are all a bit of a blur) Depression and Anxiety hit.
I can still remember the night it did like it was yesterday. I remember going to bed thinking why does Miss C love me so much? Why do I deserve her? Why is she with me? What can I give her? I don’t deserve her (All that I can now see were irrational thoughts).
Put it this way after going to bed at 22:30 and getting up at 7:30 for work I probably had about 2 hours of sleep. I knew from that moment that something wasn’t right and booked an emergency appointment with the doctor.
At the appointment the doctor made me fill in a questionnaire which resulted in him diagnosing me with anxiety and depression. The next few months I can safely say were the darkest days I have ever had.
I would be sick due to the anxiety and lost at least a stone in weight (started at 9 stone) so was quite noticeable, lost all appetite was given triazepan to help me sleep (I now know why they will only prescribe 7days, amazingly addictive drug) plus an antidepressant that I can’t remember the name of.
I remember after one morning waking up next to Miss C who at that time could not drive and thinking I couldn’t take her home as I wasn’t sure I would be able to leave the house again to pick her up and that meant I would never see her again.
The littlest negative thought would manifest itself into the biggest negative aspect of my life. I remember reading a horoscope of all things by septic peg (mystic meg) in the sun and taking everything she said negative seriously. The usual lottery win prediction didn’t even register.
To cut a long story short this followed by 4 months of very dark days going from one antidepressant to the next and 6 weeks of work with only sick pay to live on.
All through this Miss C Stuck by me.
Then it happened.
An appointment came through to see a councillor.
This was the week before Christmas.
This slight little, softly spoken Lady who asked me some very difficult questions but due to the timing it would mean I would not have a follow up appointment until 2 weeks later. This led to a terrible Christmas as my head was still full of irrational thoughts (which later I would understand being due to a chemical imbalance in my brain) but just about got through it (luckily I have never experienced any suicidal thoughts but can see how they would easily manifest themselves).
Little did I know that this was the start to my recovery.
After the initial appointment (whilst still on antidepressants) I had five more hour long sessions (one a week). This little lady would only ask me a few questions which would draw out the reasons that were causing my anxiety and depression. (if only I could remember her name and the charity she worked for to thank her).
Within 4 months (April 2008) I had managed to wean myself of the antidepressants (which if I’m honest didn’t help me, but I would never discount them as everyone is different and no matter what the internet says there is a purpose for them as there is no “normal human being”).
So fast forward to today, 15th September 2012.
I have now been married to Miss C who has now become Mrs B and has been for a year and a half. We are expecting little B end of March start of April and I have never been happier.
I am the first to admit I still have “dark days” but can now sense them coming and deal with them without wondering what the f**k is going on. As soon as you get to the bottom of what the trigger is the better you can deal with it.
It will never go away completely but you can put it to the back of your mind. It’s all about the way you deal with it that matters.
Sorry for the long post but I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how low you are, how far away tomorrow seems, your future is never far away.
Those thoughts that are going around in your head are as irrational as they seem and no matter what you think at this time, life is for living and things can only get better.
Ignore the negative internet post although I know from my own experience this is easier said than done.
There is no easy or planned route to get you out of it apart from the one that is right for you.
Anti-depressants may work for you the same as counselling may help for the next person and you will be surprised at the amount of people that have gone through what you are going through.
Have no shame in seeking help in the same way that you would if you broke your leg. There is no difference in breaking your brain apart from the visual aspect and the support you will get from family and friends will out way the negative and backward thinking from the few individuals that you may meet.
I’m not claiming to be am expert and can only help with my own experience but I thought it was about time that I wrote this down and if it helps at least one person then I feel that it is worth it.
If you are going through this now and are reading this then you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter which way you find it and I am living proof. .
No matter what you are thinking at this minute in my darkest days I lived with my mum, had a girlfriend and was off work on sick pay.
I now have my own house (well half it’s shared ownership) am married and expecting my first child in March.
No matter what situation you are within a year with the right help you will be in a better place.
Any way bed time…..
B4rker said:
Evening everyone. I have read this Topic (post) if that’s the right word for it and thought I would add a post with my experience with Depression and Anxiety.
It is Friday night and I have had a few but I find it easier to talk about it when I have (although I know alcohol can be a big cause of it) so spelling police please hold back whilst I try to put into my own words how it’s been.
So this is how it goes.
Back in July 2007 I met Miss C, I was 24 and she was 18. From the first moment we met I knew she was the one for me. After seeing each other for a few weeks everything clicked into place and we became a couple. Come September my Granddad sadly past away.
Although most people would deal with this in a normal way of grieving, I did not cry but this would become the “trigger” that sent me into depression.
Looking back everything in my life was going the right way. I had a good job, had just met an amazing girl and had everything to live for.
About one week later (can’t be sure because times back then are all a bit of a blur) Depression and Anxiety hit.
I can still remember the night it did like it was yesterday. I remember going to bed thinking why does Miss C love me so much? Why do I deserve her? Why is she with me? What can I give her? I don’t deserve her (All that I can now see were irrational thoughts).
Put it this way after going to bed at 22:30 and getting up at 7:30 for work I probably had about 2 hours of sleep. I knew from that moment that something wasn’t right and booked an emergency appointment with the doctor.
At the appointment the doctor made me fill in a questionnaire which resulted in him diagnosing me with anxiety and depression. The next few months I can safely say were the darkest days I have ever had.
I would be sick due to the anxiety and lost at least a stone in weight (started at 9 stone) so was quite noticeable, lost all appetite was given triazepan to help me sleep (I now know why they will only prescribe 7days, amazingly addictive drug) plus an antidepressant that I can’t remember the name of.
I remember after one morning waking up next to Miss C who at that time could not drive and thinking I couldn’t take her home as I wasn’t sure I would be able to leave the house again to pick her up and that meant I would never see her again.
The littlest negative thought would manifest itself into the biggest negative aspect of my life. I remember reading a horoscope of all things by septic peg (mystic meg) in the sun and taking everything she said negative seriously. The usual lottery win prediction didn’t even register.
To cut a long story short this followed by 4 months of very dark days going from one antidepressant to the next and 6 weeks of work with only sick pay to live on.
All through this Miss C Stuck by me.
Then it happened.
An appointment came through to see a councillor.
This was the week before Christmas.
This slight little, softly spoken Lady who asked me some very difficult questions but due to the timing it would mean I would not have a follow up appointment until 2 weeks later. This led to a terrible Christmas as my head was still full of irrational thoughts (which later I would understand being due to a chemical imbalance in my brain) but just about got through it (luckily I have never experienced any suicidal thoughts but can see how they would easily manifest themselves).
Little did I know that this was the start to my recovery.
After the initial appointment (whilst still on antidepressants) I had five more hour long sessions (one a week). This little lady would only ask me a few questions which would draw out the reasons that were causing my anxiety and depression. (if only I could remember her name and the charity she worked for to thank her).
Within 4 months (April 2008) I had managed to wean myself of the antidepressants (which if I’m honest didn’t help me, but I would never discount them as everyone is different and no matter what the internet says there is a purpose for them as there is no “normal human being”).
So fast forward to today, 15th September 2012.
I have now been married to Miss C who has now become Mrs B and has been for a year and a half. We are expecting little B end of March start of April and I have never been happier.
I am the first to admit I still have “dark days” but can now sense them coming and deal with them without wondering what the f**k is going on. As soon as you get to the bottom of what the trigger is the better you can deal with it.
It will never go away completely but you can put it to the back of your mind. It’s all about the way you deal with it that matters.
Sorry for the long post but I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how low you are, how far away tomorrow seems, your future is never far away.
Those thoughts that are going around in your head are as irrational as they seem and no matter what you think at this time, life is for living and things can only get better.
Ignore the negative internet post although I know from my own experience this is easier said than done.
There is no easy or planned route to get you out of it apart from the one that is right for you.
Anti-depressants may work for you the same as counselling may help for the next person and you will be surprised at the amount of people that have gone through what you are going through.
Have no shame in seeking help in the same way that you would if you broke your leg. There is no difference in breaking your brain apart from the visual aspect and the support you will get from family and friends will out way the negative and backward thinking from the few individuals that you may meet.
I’m not claiming to be am expert and can only help with my own experience but I thought it was about time that I wrote this down and if it helps at least one person then I feel that it is worth it.
If you are going through this now and are reading this then you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter which way you find it and I am living proof. .
No matter what you are thinking at this minute in my darkest days I lived with my mum, had a girlfriend and was off work on sick pay.
I now have my own house (well half it’s shared ownership) am married and expecting my first child in March.
No matter what situation you are within a year with the right help you will be in a better place.
Any way bed time…..
Great post, thanks for sharing, i am in a very similar position to you, the D-day i like to call it i.e. the day i had my Anxiety attack was in April this year. I will post up tomorrow / monday my 'rollercoaster' ride as i call it, and what has helped me, etc where ive come from to where i am now. It is Friday night and I have had a few but I find it easier to talk about it when I have (although I know alcohol can be a big cause of it) so spelling police please hold back whilst I try to put into my own words how it’s been.
So this is how it goes.
Back in July 2007 I met Miss C, I was 24 and she was 18. From the first moment we met I knew she was the one for me. After seeing each other for a few weeks everything clicked into place and we became a couple. Come September my Granddad sadly past away.
Although most people would deal with this in a normal way of grieving, I did not cry but this would become the “trigger” that sent me into depression.
Looking back everything in my life was going the right way. I had a good job, had just met an amazing girl and had everything to live for.
About one week later (can’t be sure because times back then are all a bit of a blur) Depression and Anxiety hit.
I can still remember the night it did like it was yesterday. I remember going to bed thinking why does Miss C love me so much? Why do I deserve her? Why is she with me? What can I give her? I don’t deserve her (All that I can now see were irrational thoughts).
Put it this way after going to bed at 22:30 and getting up at 7:30 for work I probably had about 2 hours of sleep. I knew from that moment that something wasn’t right and booked an emergency appointment with the doctor.
At the appointment the doctor made me fill in a questionnaire which resulted in him diagnosing me with anxiety and depression. The next few months I can safely say were the darkest days I have ever had.
I would be sick due to the anxiety and lost at least a stone in weight (started at 9 stone) so was quite noticeable, lost all appetite was given triazepan to help me sleep (I now know why they will only prescribe 7days, amazingly addictive drug) plus an antidepressant that I can’t remember the name of.
I remember after one morning waking up next to Miss C who at that time could not drive and thinking I couldn’t take her home as I wasn’t sure I would be able to leave the house again to pick her up and that meant I would never see her again.
The littlest negative thought would manifest itself into the biggest negative aspect of my life. I remember reading a horoscope of all things by septic peg (mystic meg) in the sun and taking everything she said negative seriously. The usual lottery win prediction didn’t even register.
To cut a long story short this followed by 4 months of very dark days going from one antidepressant to the next and 6 weeks of work with only sick pay to live on.
All through this Miss C Stuck by me.
Then it happened.
An appointment came through to see a councillor.
This was the week before Christmas.
This slight little, softly spoken Lady who asked me some very difficult questions but due to the timing it would mean I would not have a follow up appointment until 2 weeks later. This led to a terrible Christmas as my head was still full of irrational thoughts (which later I would understand being due to a chemical imbalance in my brain) but just about got through it (luckily I have never experienced any suicidal thoughts but can see how they would easily manifest themselves).
Little did I know that this was the start to my recovery.
After the initial appointment (whilst still on antidepressants) I had five more hour long sessions (one a week). This little lady would only ask me a few questions which would draw out the reasons that were causing my anxiety and depression. (if only I could remember her name and the charity she worked for to thank her).
Within 4 months (April 2008) I had managed to wean myself of the antidepressants (which if I’m honest didn’t help me, but I would never discount them as everyone is different and no matter what the internet says there is a purpose for them as there is no “normal human being”).
So fast forward to today, 15th September 2012.
I have now been married to Miss C who has now become Mrs B and has been for a year and a half. We are expecting little B end of March start of April and I have never been happier.
I am the first to admit I still have “dark days” but can now sense them coming and deal with them without wondering what the f**k is going on. As soon as you get to the bottom of what the trigger is the better you can deal with it.
It will never go away completely but you can put it to the back of your mind. It’s all about the way you deal with it that matters.
Sorry for the long post but I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter how low you are, how far away tomorrow seems, your future is never far away.
Those thoughts that are going around in your head are as irrational as they seem and no matter what you think at this time, life is for living and things can only get better.
Ignore the negative internet post although I know from my own experience this is easier said than done.
There is no easy or planned route to get you out of it apart from the one that is right for you.
Anti-depressants may work for you the same as counselling may help for the next person and you will be surprised at the amount of people that have gone through what you are going through.
Have no shame in seeking help in the same way that you would if you broke your leg. There is no difference in breaking your brain apart from the visual aspect and the support you will get from family and friends will out way the negative and backward thinking from the few individuals that you may meet.
I’m not claiming to be am expert and can only help with my own experience but I thought it was about time that I wrote this down and if it helps at least one person then I feel that it is worth it.
If you are going through this now and are reading this then you are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter which way you find it and I am living proof. .
No matter what you are thinking at this minute in my darkest days I lived with my mum, had a girlfriend and was off work on sick pay.
I now have my own house (well half it’s shared ownership) am married and expecting my first child in March.
No matter what situation you are within a year with the right help you will be in a better place.
Any way bed time…..
Gaz
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff