Discussion
227bhp said:
What did you do with the CBT? I'm just interested to know how it goes really.
It did nothing for me either, but it was a long time ago, in its infancy I think. It just involved someone calling me up at work (which was awkward) and doing some kind of exercises on the computer at night, like reading a kind of cartoon sketch about somebody who was going through it, seeing how he was dealing with it, answering questions etc, not really what I wanted.
Have you tried counselling?
Does anyone else think this thread tends to die back a bit in Summer? I know I feel much worse in Winter.
It was all web based in my case.It did nothing for me either, but it was a long time ago, in its infancy I think. It just involved someone calling me up at work (which was awkward) and doing some kind of exercises on the computer at night, like reading a kind of cartoon sketch about somebody who was going through it, seeing how he was dealing with it, answering questions etc, not really what I wanted.
Have you tried counselling?
Does anyone else think this thread tends to die back a bit in Summer? I know I feel much worse in Winter.
Just stuff about writing down worries, what triggers them, how they make you feel, then spotting the "bad" thought EG catastrophising, all or nothing thinking.
Some of it was great but just feels like I'm back at school almost, they've put you in a box.
Then they do a reflection/meditation thing with an annoying Irish/Scottish (can't quite tell) woman
andy-xr said:
xjay1337 said:
Realised CBT is a waste of time for me. Not really helping at all.
I gave up on it, as the basic principles of it to me seemed to be to ignore the problem. I'm sure it'll work for some people, but the way I think, it just didnt give me any answers, and I'm an inquisitive sort. ACT and mindfullness, as in accepting that these thoughts are there, and it's OK for them to be there, to in some cases visualise and size up the issues really worked better for me.
To use a metaphor, CBT is like getting on top of the flood of negative thoughts which make/keep you depressed by standing in the river and bailing like mad, tackling each and every thought individually, whereas mindfulness is like climbing out of the river and realising you can acknowledge them and just let most of them go
oldbanger said:
andy-xr said:
xjay1337 said:
Realised CBT is a waste of time for me. Not really helping at all.
I gave up on it, as the basic principles of it to me seemed to be to ignore the problem. I'm sure it'll work for some people, but the way I think, it just didnt give me any answers, and I'm an inquisitive sort. ACT and mindfullness, as in accepting that these thoughts are there, and it's OK for them to be there, to in some cases visualise and size up the issues really worked better for me.
To use a metaphor, CBT is like getting on top of the flood of negative thoughts which make/keep you depressed by standing in the river and bailing like mad, tackling each and every thought individually, whereas mindfulness is like climbing out of the river and realising you can acknowledge them and just let most of them go
So you've got a vested interest in making sure white wins, and you're a part of the game. You send out your pawns and rooks to fight some hard fights protecting yourself as best you can while trying to get rid of the opposition, the negatives.
What if, instead of being one of the pieces you're actually the chessboard. You can let the game play out and see which side wins, pick up and do it all again tomorrow if you want, while still carrying on with whatever it is you want to do. That's really where both ACT and mindfulness came into their own for me.
xjay1337 said:
It was all web based in my case.
Just stuff about writing down worries, what triggers them, how they make you feel, then spotting the "bad" thought EG catastrophising, all or nothing thinking.
Some of it was great but just feels like I'm back at school almost, they've put you in a box.
Then they do a reflection/meditation thing with an annoying Irish/Scottish (can't quite tell) woman
My CBT was with an actual person, I hadn't realised I was lucky to get this instead of what others have had!Just stuff about writing down worries, what triggers them, how they make you feel, then spotting the "bad" thought EG catastrophising, all or nothing thinking.
Some of it was great but just feels like I'm back at school almost, they've put you in a box.
Then they do a reflection/meditation thing with an annoying Irish/Scottish (can't quite tell) woman
I'm quite an analytical / skeptical guy so before even going to the first session (of 6, each 2 weeks apart) I had to make an effort to go into it with an open mind, don't be cynical and try to take it on board and so on.
I can absolutely understand how that content being delivered digitally would just seem patronising, and not that helpful.
What was useful was that the sessions would mostly be me talking about the previous 2 weeks, and then the counsellor pointing out what part of the CBT ethos was relevant to what I had been saying.
The useful part for me was in talking to an independent person, and having an outside viewpoint that allowed you to take a step back from your natural negative spiral of thoughts and identify some of them as being a symptom of the depression and not necessarily trustworthy.
If I'd just had to read the leaflets or what have you, it would have been of limited value to me, so I'm surprised that it's even an option to deliver it online.
Certainly having someone listen to your thoughts, help you objectify those thoughts and understand where they're coming from or why they're perhaps not that reliable was helpful. Even just to point out that what you're feeling is part of the depression, and not that you're just a bad person, was at least a temporary relief and a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel.
Hope everyone is managing this morning, it's been a bit quiet in here recently
Does this sound like a case of depression?
Relative (some kind of cousin) has a lot of rows with 15 year old daughter. Not sure why, the daughter is adequately behaved by teenager standards, underperforming at school but not disastrously. But the mother keeps acting as though some disaster is imminent, treating any lapse (EG 5 mins late for school, overdue library book) as if it's a sign of a personality defect rather than as an event.
Last night I overheard the mother having a real go at the daughter for no particular reason that I could make out, the daughter sounding on the verge of tears. At one point he mother exclaimed 'you don't know what's right and what's wrong', the daughter replied 'what do you mean?' and the mother replied 'I don't know'.
Unless there's some issue with the daughter I don't know about, this sounds like there's something seriously wrong with the mother and she's taking it out on the daughter.
Or is this just normal behaviour for mothers with teenage daughters?
Relative (some kind of cousin) has a lot of rows with 15 year old daughter. Not sure why, the daughter is adequately behaved by teenager standards, underperforming at school but not disastrously. But the mother keeps acting as though some disaster is imminent, treating any lapse (EG 5 mins late for school, overdue library book) as if it's a sign of a personality defect rather than as an event.
Last night I overheard the mother having a real go at the daughter for no particular reason that I could make out, the daughter sounding on the verge of tears. At one point he mother exclaimed 'you don't know what's right and what's wrong', the daughter replied 'what do you mean?' and the mother replied 'I don't know'.
Unless there's some issue with the daughter I don't know about, this sounds like there's something seriously wrong with the mother and she's taking it out on the daughter.
Or is this just normal behaviour for mothers with teenage daughters?
227bhp said:
Heck that could be all kinds of things, right from her getting ready to having the painters in onwards....
Personality disorder, work stress, depression, early menopause (I've known two mothers who went batst at their teenage kids for a year or two, and this is what it turned out to be). It could be all sorts of thingsSturdyHSV said:
My CBT was with an actual person, I hadn't realised I was lucky to get this instead of what others have had!
Mine too, but I went private - I found a good therapist through the BABCP and paid them direct. At the time, the docs only wanted to offer meds and at first I wasn't willing to try pills. My experience of friends and family who've tried to get it on the NHS is that there are long wait times, and if with a person face to face, you'll be restricted to possibly as little as 4 sessions.
I had a call from my CBT therapist in the week.
I had missed 2 sessions. I just didn't feel it was working and with my new job I had forgotten . We discussed some things about the course and my mood and some reasons behind it. She was actually very nice on the phone and supportive. The next step they want me to do some face to face CBT rather than online and then may move onto counselling.
I had missed 2 sessions. I just didn't feel it was working and with my new job I had forgotten . We discussed some things about the course and my mood and some reasons behind it. She was actually very nice on the phone and supportive. The next step they want me to do some face to face CBT rather than online and then may move onto counselling.
oobster said:
No, not CBA to get out of bed (although that IS a problem most workdays), but falling asleep mid-afternoon on a Saturday/Sunday on the couch, same in the early evening when just home from work.
Depends on your normal patterns, what time are you going to bed during the working week, are you struggling to get to sleep, if so is your mind racing and if so about what? Are the sleeps (after work etc..) you mention naps or do you sleep for longer than an hour or so and then cannot sleep that night?I went through a phase like this and decided to take a very deliberate and disciplined approach to sleep. I made a point of staying active, simple things that would keep me from falling asleep, mainly a bit of slow paced tidying with some music on rather than lounging watching crap TV which is a recipe for falling asleep. I went to bed about 10.00-11.00 at night and after a very short while slept very soundly until the alarm goes at 07.00, its now a routine and any night where it goes awry I'll know about it for the next couple of days.
If you're struggling I'd recommend tackling your sleep patterns, enough sleep is very important, but too much or very broken sleep can be damaging also. I find I need the 8 hours and alcohol really messes me up badly so try to stay away from it. Oh and if you are waking in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep this could be because of the naps in the afternoon.
xjay1337 said:
I had a call from my CBT therapist in the week.
I had missed 2 sessions. I just didn't feel it was working and with my new job I had forgotten . We discussed some things about the course and my mood and some reasons behind it. She was actually very nice on the phone and supportive. The next step they want me to do some face to face CBT rather than online and then may move onto counselling.
Sounds like you've climbed another rung on the ladder, all you can do really is keep climbing. It's a complex thing, with me i found it was a combination of things which worked. It can be a long journey, but worth it in the end so keep chipping away at it. I had missed 2 sessions. I just didn't feel it was working and with my new job I had forgotten . We discussed some things about the course and my mood and some reasons behind it. She was actually very nice on the phone and supportive. The next step they want me to do some face to face CBT rather than online and then may move onto counselling.
patmahe said:
oobster said:
No, not CBA to get out of bed (although that IS a problem most workdays), but falling asleep mid-afternoon on a Saturday/Sunday on the couch, same in the early evening when just home from work.
Depends on your normal patterns, what time are you going to bed during the working week, are you struggling to get to sleep, if so is your mind racing and if so about what? Are the sleeps (after work etc..) you mention naps or do you sleep for longer than an hour or so and then cannot sleep that night?I went through a phase like this and decided to take a very deliberate and disciplined approach to sleep. I made a point of staying active, simple things that would keep me from falling asleep, mainly a bit of slow paced tidying with some music on rather than lounging watching crap TV which is a recipe for falling asleep. I went to bed about 10.00-11.00 at night and after a very short while slept very soundly until the alarm goes at 07.00, its now a routine and any night where it goes awry I'll know about it for the next couple of days.
If you're struggling I'd recommend tackling your sleep patterns, enough sleep is very important, but too much or very broken sleep can be damaging also. I find I need the 8 hours and alcohol really messes me up badly so try to stay away from it. Oh and if you are waking in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep this could be because of the naps in the afternoon.
I've been on fluoxetine (20mg daily) for probably 2 years now, everytime I think I am going through a 'good' patch and consider reducing the dose to every other day something happens at work and I go back into a 'black' mood again.
Need to leave, thing is I like the work, I like the customers we have, I like the hours I work and I get paid a reasonable wage, so its the fear of the unknown that is putting me off, however all those good reasons don't make much odds when work is making me miserable.
Been reading this thread for months, first time i've felt like contributing, I am on hols from work this week then off again for another week at the end of the month so hopefully that'll help settle the over-sleeping issues.
Edited by oobster on Wednesday 19th July 12:14
https://youtu.be/s5JJT96g7C0
I watched this and found him to be incredible articulate, honest and have a fantastic way of explaining what depression is. It's only 3 mins long but worth a watch.
I watched this and found him to be incredible articulate, honest and have a fantastic way of explaining what depression is. It's only 3 mins long but worth a watch.
I've been reading this thread for ages and have even thought about putting up my own battles using a different username but have always bottled it.....
Just thought i'd recommend a book that I constantly refer too when I end up in those dark places we all do sometimes:
'Ten steps to positive living' by Dr Windy Dryden.
It's written in slightly odd style but find I can relate to it, and the way he breaks things down really helps.
We should all organise a car meet for us in similar situations, talking about it and hearing other peoples opinions/thoughts (who suffer and have suffered) can really help us in one way or another?
Just thought i'd recommend a book that I constantly refer too when I end up in those dark places we all do sometimes:
'Ten steps to positive living' by Dr Windy Dryden.
It's written in slightly odd style but find I can relate to it, and the way he breaks things down really helps.
We should all organise a car meet for us in similar situations, talking about it and hearing other peoples opinions/thoughts (who suffer and have suffered) can really help us in one way or another?
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