Discussion
ED209 said:
At the moment I feel more anxious than I have in my life, not depressed as such just anxious. Heavy breathing and elevated heart rate, unable to concentrate on anything even though I know I have to. Im putting it down to the sheer pressure at work, far far too busy, too much pressure and never time for a proper break. Got a promotion process coming up too which is putting extra pressure on me but, i want it but I just can't settle down and study for it, can't concentrate!
Even when I am exercising which I have always done almost every day I am struggling to regulate my breathing. got a bit of cold on my chest too which isn't helping. At the moment I feel like I am just trying to cling on until the end of May when I have 10 days off work to try and sort my head out.
I feel sorry for my wife because as much as I try not to be short with her It can't be pleasant for her.
Sorry to hear about the anxiety. Something I and many, many others on here suffer with. Even when I am exercising which I have always done almost every day I am struggling to regulate my breathing. got a bit of cold on my chest too which isn't helping. At the moment I feel like I am just trying to cling on until the end of May when I have 10 days off work to try and sort my head out.
I feel sorry for my wife because as much as I try not to be short with her It can't be pleasant for her.
I would echo the advice above, share your troubles with your wife - best of luck with the promotion.
SturdyHSV said:
Have you explained all this to her? She'll probably feel grateful that you trust her enough and value her opinion enough to share how you feel with her, and talking it out with someone else will probably help to some degree.
I hope the promotion process goes well, but more importantly that the break in May gives you a chance to relax a bit
On the flip side I will state sometimes explaining to your partner doesn't always help.I hope the promotion process goes well, but more importantly that the break in May gives you a chance to relax a bit
I have some pretty bad bits of my past, these were only known to me on a random web blog I kept to myself , rather as a diary than to share.
After months of a comment here and there about me not telling her why I felt so anxious about certain things, I showed it to her.
It helped for about a month then she was back to not understanding. I want to be clear that generally my partner is supportive about my depression, anxiety and weird moods.
Sometimes you really are alone with some aspects of life.
That sounds really dark and down, but I don't mean it like that at all
Good luck with the promotion and break. We are going to Greece!
toohuge said:
ED209 said:
At the moment I feel more anxious than I have in my life, not depressed as such just anxious. Heavy breathing and elevated heart rate, unable to concentrate on anything even though I know I have to. Im putting it down to the sheer pressure at work, far far too busy, too much pressure and never time for a proper break. Got a promotion process coming up too which is putting extra pressure on me but, i want it but I just can't settle down and study for it, can't concentrate!
Even when I am exercising which I have always done almost every day I am struggling to regulate my breathing. got a bit of cold on my chest too which isn't helping. At the moment I feel like I am just trying to cling on until the end of May when I have 10 days off work to try and sort my head out.
I feel sorry for my wife because as much as I try not to be short with her It can't be pleasant for her.
Sorry to hear about the anxiety. Something I and many, many others on here suffer with. Even when I am exercising which I have always done almost every day I am struggling to regulate my breathing. got a bit of cold on my chest too which isn't helping. At the moment I feel like I am just trying to cling on until the end of May when I have 10 days off work to try and sort my head out.
I feel sorry for my wife because as much as I try not to be short with her It can't be pleasant for her.
I would echo the advice above, share your troubles with your wife - best of luck with the promotion.
I just feel drained with it all today. Had a good 10 hour sleep last night, done very little all day apart from go for a run and now I could honestly go back to bed. I nearly stopped and walked a few times because i just couldn't get my breath even though I was running slower than i usually do.
I should have got my books out for a couple of hours but I just can't face them!
Off to london at the weekend as the wife is doing the marathon so thats 5 days off. Thing is that should give me some respite but I am not looking forward to it. Reason being in my current mindset I just can't be bothered with people and I believe there are millions of them in London. Its not a place I have ever been to and not one I have every really wanted to but I must support her.
I think one of the things that might be contributing to my feelings is shift work and the general work stress. Ive done shifts for 20 years but I am finding nightshifts harder and harder and I just can't sleep now during the day. This wears me down. I had a year away from working nightshifts which ended about 6 months ago and to be honest I felt like a different person during that time.
A lot of my colleagues are on the edge too at the moment, I have lost count of the number of my staff that have came to me at breaking point and in tears. I try my best to help them but sometimes its hard to know what to say when I feel like crying myself.
ED209 said:
Off to london at the weekend as the wife is doing the marathon so thats 5 days off. Thing is that should give me some respite but I am not looking forward to it. Reason being in my current mindset I just can't be bothered with people and I believe there are millions of them in London. Its not a place I have ever been to and not one I have every really wanted to but I must support her.
If it helps there are quiet bits. Blackheath has a 24h tea hut and is great for quiet reflection, particularly at night. You’d probably need a car though. The hill at Alexandra Palace is good if there are no gigs on.
Anywhere near the river will feel open, again particularly at night.
I also like Hyde park though it gets locked at night so be careful.
Other places include Temple, also Highgate cemetery.
I grew up in south London though so whilst I am sure there are loads of other places I can’t say for sure
227bhp said:
It's what it does to you, it makes you not want to do things. When you get back from it you tell me it was as bad as you thought it would be.
Feeling a bit better today, anxiety has settled down a bit. Got a date for the promotion interview which was nagging me and managed to get one of the last slots so I know that I have got about 4 weeks to prepare. Going to try and enjoy London this weekend and not take any books with me to study then my plan is to knuckle down when i get home and get some quality preparation done.Also the renovations we have been having done on our house were finally finished yesterday so thats one less thing to worry about.
Had a chat with my boss and a couple of colleagues at work yesterday and it seems a lot of us are feeling the same way, which concerns me and reassures me as it least it means its not just me who is feeling the strain.
ED209 said:
227bhp said:
It's what it does to you, it makes you not want to do things. When you get back from it you tell me it was as bad as you thought it would be.
Feeling a bit better today, anxiety has settled down a bit. Got a date for the promotion interview which was nagging me and managed to get one of the last slots so I know that I have got about 4 weeks to prepare. Going to try and enjoy London this weekend and not take any books with me to study then my plan is to knuckle down when i get home and get some quality preparation done.Also the renovations we have been having done on our house were finally finished yesterday so thats one less thing to worry about.
Had a chat with my boss and a couple of colleagues at work yesterday and it seems a lot of us are feeling the same way, which concerns me and reassures me as it least it means its not just me who is feeling the strain.
I went to the Nottingham IKEA off the A610 dual carriageway yesterday morning, on the way home, there was a man on the bridge over the A610 near the Eastwood junction. As I spotted him, poised above L1, I moved from L1 to L2 to avoid him, noted the truck behind me in L1, and I thought the worst was about to happen. There was a lay-by up ahead and several cars had stopped, a number of people were on their phones and several people were running back to the bridge. By the time I had processed all this and considered whether I could or should stop too, I was past the junction and not able to easily do so. I don't know what happened next, I haven't found anything on the local news feeds.
Balmoral said:
I went to the Nottingham IKEA off the A610 dual carriageway yesterday morning, on the way home, there was a man on the bridge over the A610 near the Eastwood junction. As I spotted him, poised above L1, I moved from L1 to L2 to avoid him, noted the truck behind me in L1, and I thought the worst was about to happen. There was a lay-by up ahead and several cars had stopped, a number of people were on their phones and several people were running back to the bridge. By the time I had processed all this and considered whether I could or should stop too, I was past the junction and not able to easily do so. I don't know what happened next, I haven't found anything on the local news feeds.
It happens a lot. It’s nearly a daily occurrence in my work to go for someone with suicidal thoughts, people who have self harmed and who have actually attempted to take their own life. The irony of me comforting them and empathising isn’t lost on me.Ruskie said:
It happens a lot. It’s nearly a daily occurrence in my work to go for someone with suicidal thoughts, people who have self harmed and who have actually attempted to take their own life. The irony of me comforting them and empathising isn’t lost on me.
What is 'to go for someone'?Do you work in mental health?
I'm not surprised you're depressed if you work with that almost daily.
Hi all,
Long-time member here but using a different log-in for this purpose.
It's taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to post here, its astounding how difficult it to speak about such matters. I've always been a closed person and never talk about how I feel, which is part of the problem.
I feel like I've lost the love of my life last night because I pushed her away due to my insecurities and self-doubt (I accused her of cheating based on no evidence what-so-ever).
I have admitted to her that I have deep insecurity and anxiety issues after accusing her last night, but she's decided to take some time away from me to try and think things over. She is scared that she will have to experience the same pain again, which I respect and understand. I've apologised over and over again and decided to take action and see a councillor (privately) this evening; I've told her about this. But it feels like I she has already made her mind up and I'm too late in taking action. Too much, too late.
This is the first time that I've been honest with myself and recognised that this has happened to me many times before. My insecurities and self-doubt have pushed many great things in my life away.
Last night, I had experienced for the first time, the thought of suicide; and it scared me. I broke down whilst I was sending her a message and I feel like I'm no longer attractive to her.
I'm posting here because I feel desperate, lost and petrified that I'm going to lose her because of my actions. I can't make sense of anything in my mind right now, it feels like it has been completely scrambled.
I'm hoping by airing this out, that I feel somewhat better.
Long-time member here but using a different log-in for this purpose.
It's taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to post here, its astounding how difficult it to speak about such matters. I've always been a closed person and never talk about how I feel, which is part of the problem.
I feel like I've lost the love of my life last night because I pushed her away due to my insecurities and self-doubt (I accused her of cheating based on no evidence what-so-ever).
I have admitted to her that I have deep insecurity and anxiety issues after accusing her last night, but she's decided to take some time away from me to try and think things over. She is scared that she will have to experience the same pain again, which I respect and understand. I've apologised over and over again and decided to take action and see a councillor (privately) this evening; I've told her about this. But it feels like I she has already made her mind up and I'm too late in taking action. Too much, too late.
This is the first time that I've been honest with myself and recognised that this has happened to me many times before. My insecurities and self-doubt have pushed many great things in my life away.
Last night, I had experienced for the first time, the thought of suicide; and it scared me. I broke down whilst I was sending her a message and I feel like I'm no longer attractive to her.
I'm posting here because I feel desperate, lost and petrified that I'm going to lose her because of my actions. I can't make sense of anything in my mind right now, it feels like it has been completely scrambled.
I'm hoping by airing this out, that I feel somewhat better.
PeugeotDude123 said:
I'm hoping by airing this out, that I feel somewhat better.
Did it work?Many people never know themselves and you don't say how old you are, but an understanding and realisation at any age is a good thing, a better life can be the outcome if you act on what you learn in the right way.
Good luck.
Walking or any kind of exercise is great and this can lift your mood.
https://kiddiplan.com/activities/music-dance
https://kiddiplan.com/activities/music-dance
Edited by webcrest on Thursday 26th April 13:12
227bhp said:
Ruskie said:
It happens a lot. It’s nearly a daily occurrence in my work to go for someone with suicidal thoughts, people who have self harmed and who have actually attempted to take their own life. The irony of me comforting them and empathising isn’t lost on me.
What is 'to go for someone'?Do you work in mental health?
I'm not surprised you're depressed if you work with that almost daily.
I mean, I used to have the strength (or whatever it is) to get through bouts of depression and come out the other side. Feeling, urghh, that sucked.
But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
mantiacoro said:
I mean, I used to have the strength (or whatever it is) to get through bouts of depression and come out the other side. Feeling, urghh, that sucked.
But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
Wow. That could have been written by me.But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
I'm in exactly the same place at the moment.
I've had the dark thoughts recently. Too many of them to be honest and they're persistent buggers aren't they.
I've also had thoughts of buying a camper van or simply throwing a tent in the back of the car.
A month or several volunteering abroad crossed my mind too.
I know it's all classic run away from your problems stuff but it all sounds so appealing doesn't it.
I'm actually sat here waiting for a call from the talking mental health team so I'm waiting to see what they have to say.
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