Discussion
mantiacoro said:
I mean, I used to have the strength (or whatever it is) to get through bouts of depression and come out the other side. Feeling, urghh, that sucked.
But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
Can you be sure you wouldn't pack your depression too? I know I carry mine everywhere.But I don't anymore. I've been under a cloud for around 18 months and see no sun on the horizon. So I feel like I need a way out. Either throw in the towel, or sell all my possessions (house too) and just wonder round the world travelling until my money runs out and never come back.
mantiacoro said:
227bhp said:
Well nearly a month with no posts here, who says it isn't seasonal.... 
I'm approaching the end of a 30 year long battle with depression. It used to be 'seasonal', but not anymore. My depression has the endurance of Haile Gebrselassie.Sorry to kill your party.
Good to read things are feeling more even for you. Well done for going out there.
Today I am feeling terrible, really low, but tomorrow is another day. I just had a very hectic week off taking the kids round the south coast whilst my OH had a break. I didn't really get a great reception when we got back. Quite the opposite. Hey ho, back to work tomorrow. If I keep moving I naturally pick up again after a bit
... a quick blat around the lanes this evening also helped a bit
Today I am feeling terrible, really low, but tomorrow is another day. I just had a very hectic week off taking the kids round the south coast whilst my OH had a break. I didn't really get a great reception when we got back. Quite the opposite. Hey ho, back to work tomorrow. If I keep moving I naturally pick up again after a bit
... a quick blat around the lanes this evening also helped a bit
Edited by oldbanger on Sunday 3rd June 22:13
Hi guys, not sure if this is the right to put this but I'm not sure if this comes under depression or another mental health issue.
A family member has fallen ill and is unable to look after their dog so we took him in about 10 months ago. My mum (who has been single for about 22 years) is now the official owner but gradually her relationship with the dog has got worse and worse and now it's worrying. She takes the dog everywhere with her, even when she's in the bath. He's always on the sofa with her and always in bed with her at night, and she doesn't stop talking to him - she even talks to him more than both me and my other half put together. She's always walking around having full on conversations with him in different accents which is really weird. She's now completely neglected her social life (which was scarce before the dog came along) and now won't go out because "the dog can't be on his own "what if he needs a wee", "He can't be left alone, what is there's a fire?". I can't even get her to go on a short holiday with us for the weekend because of the dog. Every conversation she mentions him and it's getting worrying. She's even starting kissing him.
I'm not very clued up on depression but does this sound like it could be something similar? She's in complete denial about this and refuses to talk about it and storms off. I don't really know where else to look for advice other than Pistonheads.
A family member has fallen ill and is unable to look after their dog so we took him in about 10 months ago. My mum (who has been single for about 22 years) is now the official owner but gradually her relationship with the dog has got worse and worse and now it's worrying. She takes the dog everywhere with her, even when she's in the bath. He's always on the sofa with her and always in bed with her at night, and she doesn't stop talking to him - she even talks to him more than both me and my other half put together. She's always walking around having full on conversations with him in different accents which is really weird. She's now completely neglected her social life (which was scarce before the dog came along) and now won't go out because "the dog can't be on his own "what if he needs a wee", "He can't be left alone, what is there's a fire?". I can't even get her to go on a short holiday with us for the weekend because of the dog. Every conversation she mentions him and it's getting worrying. She's even starting kissing him.
I'm not very clued up on depression but does this sound like it could be something similar? She's in complete denial about this and refuses to talk about it and storms off. I don't really know where else to look for advice other than Pistonheads.
DomesticM said:
Hi guys, not sure if this is the right to put this but I'm not sure if this comes under depression or another mental health issue.
A family member has fallen ill and is unable to look after their dog so we took him in about 10 months ago. My mum (who has been single for about 22 years) is now the official owner but gradually her relationship with the dog has got worse and worse and now it's worrying. She takes the dog everywhere with her, even when she's in the bath. He's always on the sofa with her and always in bed with her at night, and she doesn't stop talking to him - she even talks to him more than both me and my other half put together. She's always walking around having full on conversations with him in different accents which is really weird. She's now completely neglected her social life (which was scarce before the dog came along) and now won't go out because "the dog can't be on his own "what if he needs a wee", "He can't be left alone, what is there's a fire?". I can't even get her to go on a short holiday with us for the weekend because of the dog. Every conversation she mentions him and it's getting worrying. She's even starting kissing him.
I'm not very clued up on depression but does this sound like it could be something similar? She's in complete denial about this and refuses to talk about it and storms off. I don't really know where else to look for advice other than Pistonheads.
Sounds more like Alzheimer’s or demetia?A family member has fallen ill and is unable to look after their dog so we took him in about 10 months ago. My mum (who has been single for about 22 years) is now the official owner but gradually her relationship with the dog has got worse and worse and now it's worrying. She takes the dog everywhere with her, even when she's in the bath. He's always on the sofa with her and always in bed with her at night, and she doesn't stop talking to him - she even talks to him more than both me and my other half put together. She's always walking around having full on conversations with him in different accents which is really weird. She's now completely neglected her social life (which was scarce before the dog came along) and now won't go out because "the dog can't be on his own "what if he needs a wee", "He can't be left alone, what is there's a fire?". I can't even get her to go on a short holiday with us for the weekend because of the dog. Every conversation she mentions him and it's getting worrying. She's even starting kissing him.
I'm not very clued up on depression but does this sound like it could be something similar? She's in complete denial about this and refuses to talk about it and storms off. I don't really know where else to look for advice other than Pistonheads.
Or depression/loneliness coupled with a bit of OCD.
If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
It may be related, but it's not depression.
One thing you've never mentioned his her happiness and that is paramount. Forget your own beliefs and ask if she's happy.
DomesticM said:
gradually her relationship with the dog has got worse and worse and now it's worrying.
That's wrong, the relationship has got better, much better.One thing you've never mentioned his her happiness and that is paramount. Forget your own beliefs and ask if she's happy.
227bhp said:
That's wrong, the relationship has got better, much better.
One thing you've never mentioned his her happiness and that is paramount. Forget your own beliefs and ask if she's happy.
I'm glad she's happy but it's starting to affect me and my girlfriend. The dog has a thing for peeing in the house at the moment and she doesn't even tell him off so he keeps doing it again. I tell him off and she has a go at me for it. The house smells of wee constantly. The dog now has abandonment issues because as soon as she leaves the house he's crying and barking for attention, even when I'm still asleep - it's not healthy for him. She even makes sandwiches for him before going to work! One thing you've never mentioned his her happiness and that is paramount. Forget your own beliefs and ask if she's happy.
As said, I'm glad she's happy but it's just not normal.
Ruskie said:
Sounds more like Alzheimer’s or demetia?
I hope not, but I'm not entirely sure what early signs of those are.oldbanger said:
Or depression/loneliness coupled with a bit of OCD.
If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
That's the thing, she's insistent that all dog owners do all of the mentioned. She just doesn't want to go out, let alone socialising with other people. If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
DomesticM said:
Ruskie said:
Sounds more like Alzheimer’s or demetia?
I hope not, but I'm not entirely sure what early signs of those are.oldbanger said:
Or depression/loneliness coupled with a bit of OCD.
If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
That's the thing, she's insistent that all dog owners do all of the mentioned. She just doesn't want to go out, let alone socialising with other people. If you’re going to help her come out of it you may need to help her to cultivate links with dog clubs or other owners.
Ultimately though, if she’s on her own and very lonely, dogs offer unconditional affection and regard, and they can be there 24/7 in a way that human friends or family often can’t.
Squadrone Rosso said:
Those rocks under the surface I mentioned previously on this thread.
The type you can’t see through the murky water but are a danger to shipping.
Well, that’s where I’ve been, on & off, for the last couple of weeks. Doing my head in!
You’re not alone . The type you can’t see through the murky water but are a danger to shipping.
Well, that’s where I’ve been, on & off, for the last couple of weeks. Doing my head in!
Sleep is an issue currently for me especially as it’s so light in the mornings .
Mornings are the worst but I have identified the problems and concerns so I now just try and focus on the ‘plan’.
Sometimes I can tell myself that others have more to worry about and it works but then sometimes not . No real rhyme nor reason .
hi guys,
i am a poster on here, not regular as such but still wanted to start a fresh.
firstly i have read a lot of there pages but i dont know what to really add or contribute
my situation is like this really. i'm mid 20's, earn well for someone my age and for what i do i think. pretty std job. 8:30-5:30. weekends are mine. no stress except the usual sales/targets type stress. live with my mrs have done for about 8 months, been togethor 14 months i think. shes sound, lets me do what i want, usual moans and groans untidyness etc but on the whole shes bang on i love her to bits
my mom has been ill over the past few years. she had a stoke and has since been in and out of hosp. on the whole though, apart from her now being diagnosed with brittle bone disease she is okay. shes just coping if that makes sense? i see her every day still.
so on the whole everything is great. i'm saving, work is going well, mrs is fine shes doing well, mom is okay. but i cant get rid of this feeling of wanting to break down and cry every single day.
ive probably been like this since christmas but the last month has rapidly gone downhill. slowly and slowly i feel i am distancing myself from everyone. i just cant be arsed with anything or anyone.
i started the gym in jan, did really well but the last month i just havent pushed myself much. work i feel is really getting me down. the tedious office convo's about the same rubbish every day. is this just me? am i abnormal because i dont like to watch love island or get involved in awful chat at work? i am hitting my targets but it is very re active at the moment. im not being very pro active.
i want to say its because i am going on holiday on saturday and i am in pre holiday mode but its not. thats just an excuse i am telling myself.
how do i get re motivated? how do i get rid of this feeling? i feel i shouldnt feel this way. i sound ungrateful. i sound bored. i really dont know. is this the start of the problem? is there more to live than 50 years of doing a 9-5 job?
ive been reading about travelling but i know that wont help, i'll just be miserable in a diff part of the world skint and more alone.
dont really know what i want from this, i just havent typed/written it out before.
cheers
i am a poster on here, not regular as such but still wanted to start a fresh.
firstly i have read a lot of there pages but i dont know what to really add or contribute
my situation is like this really. i'm mid 20's, earn well for someone my age and for what i do i think. pretty std job. 8:30-5:30. weekends are mine. no stress except the usual sales/targets type stress. live with my mrs have done for about 8 months, been togethor 14 months i think. shes sound, lets me do what i want, usual moans and groans untidyness etc but on the whole shes bang on i love her to bits
my mom has been ill over the past few years. she had a stoke and has since been in and out of hosp. on the whole though, apart from her now being diagnosed with brittle bone disease she is okay. shes just coping if that makes sense? i see her every day still.
so on the whole everything is great. i'm saving, work is going well, mrs is fine shes doing well, mom is okay. but i cant get rid of this feeling of wanting to break down and cry every single day.
ive probably been like this since christmas but the last month has rapidly gone downhill. slowly and slowly i feel i am distancing myself from everyone. i just cant be arsed with anything or anyone.
i started the gym in jan, did really well but the last month i just havent pushed myself much. work i feel is really getting me down. the tedious office convo's about the same rubbish every day. is this just me? am i abnormal because i dont like to watch love island or get involved in awful chat at work? i am hitting my targets but it is very re active at the moment. im not being very pro active.
i want to say its because i am going on holiday on saturday and i am in pre holiday mode but its not. thats just an excuse i am telling myself.
how do i get re motivated? how do i get rid of this feeling? i feel i shouldnt feel this way. i sound ungrateful. i sound bored. i really dont know. is this the start of the problem? is there more to live than 50 years of doing a 9-5 job?
ive been reading about travelling but i know that wont help, i'll just be miserable in a diff part of the world skint and more alone.
dont really know what i want from this, i just havent typed/written it out before.
cheers
justhere said:
hi guys,
Sensible things
Remarkably similar to how I feel.Sensible things
It comes and goes, I have a child on the way so that is giving me a big sense of purpose in life at the moment.
I'd say you need a new challenge and do something outside of your comfort zone. You've become stagnant, maybe a career change?
Easier said than done, trust me, once you get in that comfortable rut, it's a brave man that makes the decision to get out of it and drive through the rough patch.
I wish I had the answers!
Hi gary,
congrats on expecting ! when is it due?
you are definitely right about this comfortable stage i think. i have been getting myself sorted for a few years now with being in poorer paid jobs, not living in within my means. old car breaking down cost me a fortune.
i dont have that as such now. 1k on a credit card thats it.
in terms of a career change i dont know, i am at the point in my job now, been here 2 years. starting to all come together its it hardware sales account management type thing. last thing i want to do is go somewhere else, start a new account base, take a drop in money and start all over again. does that make sense?
maybe i want to see more of the world? can you do that with 20 days holiday a year as well as trying to save for a house or whatever you save for because it is whats socially required to be accepted?
congrats on expecting ! when is it due?
you are definitely right about this comfortable stage i think. i have been getting myself sorted for a few years now with being in poorer paid jobs, not living in within my means. old car breaking down cost me a fortune.
i dont have that as such now. 1k on a credit card thats it.
in terms of a career change i dont know, i am at the point in my job now, been here 2 years. starting to all come together its it hardware sales account management type thing. last thing i want to do is go somewhere else, start a new account base, take a drop in money and start all over again. does that make sense?
maybe i want to see more of the world? can you do that with 20 days holiday a year as well as trying to save for a house or whatever you save for because it is whats socially required to be accepted?
justhere said:
Hi gary,
congrats on expecting ! when is it due?
you are definitely right about this comfortable stage i think. i have been getting myself sorted for a few years now with being in poorer paid jobs, not living in within my means. old car breaking down cost me a fortune.
i dont have that as such now. 1k on a credit card thats it.
in terms of a career change i dont know, i am at the point in my job now, been here 2 years. starting to all come together its it hardware sales account management type thing. last thing i want to do is go somewhere else, start a new account base, take a drop in money and start all over again. does that make sense?
maybe i want to see more of the world? can you do that with 20 days holiday a year as well as trying to save for a house or whatever you save for because it is whats socially required to be accepted?
As I said, I really don't have the answers! I think we all go through these phases of thinking we were destined for more, looking up at the stars at night and thinking there must be more to life than getting up every morning to pay a mortgage, and talk about nonsense with our colleagues who all seem overjoyed and completely fulfilled with nothing more than talking about the football or the latest celebrity gossip. congrats on expecting ! when is it due?
you are definitely right about this comfortable stage i think. i have been getting myself sorted for a few years now with being in poorer paid jobs, not living in within my means. old car breaking down cost me a fortune.
i dont have that as such now. 1k on a credit card thats it.
in terms of a career change i dont know, i am at the point in my job now, been here 2 years. starting to all come together its it hardware sales account management type thing. last thing i want to do is go somewhere else, start a new account base, take a drop in money and start all over again. does that make sense?
maybe i want to see more of the world? can you do that with 20 days holiday a year as well as trying to save for a house or whatever you save for because it is whats socially required to be accepted?
In my case I don't think that unfulfilled feeling will ever go away, I've just got better at making my peace with it. Also like you, I probably sound ungrateful, but you can't help how you feel.
I'm probably not the best person to be talking to if you're looking for inspiration
Just know you're definitely not alone in feeling this way.
And thanks, due in October....continually s
tting myself with paranoia in case something goes wrong between now and then. I get that from my mother, overthinking and worrying too much, maybe that's part of the problem...I wish I knew!justhere said:
you are definitely right about this comfortable stage i think.
Personally I'd be wary of treating it as a bit of a phase or that you're just 'comfortable' and need to give yourself a kick up the arse.Don't get me wrong, you could be right, but your original post, specifically:
but i cant get rid of this feeling of wanting to break down and cry every single day.
ive probably been like this since christmas but the last month has rapidly gone downhill. slowly and slowly i feel i am distancing myself from everyone. i just cant be arsed with anything or anyone.
That isn't sounding very good and I think your best bet would be to speak to a GP about exactly these sorts of feelings. Or at least keep posting here
Blaming those sorts of feelings on some sort of supposed flaw in your character may not be very healthy for you, and unfortunately people inexperienced with depression can often say things that they think are helpful, but actually can be quite damaging (I was one of these people getting it wrong)
i think the kick up the arse is exactly what i need.
i havent had a proper holiday in 2 years, i am so excited to get away saturday just for 1 week to forget about everything.
i hoping after that, with a few more things i have planned for this year i can get re motivated again. i really really want to, i need to.
Blaming those sorts of feelings on some sort of supposed flaw in your character may not be very healthy for you, and unfortunately people inexperienced with depression can often say things that they think are helpful, but actually can be quite damaging (I was one of these people getting it wrong)
i watch a lot of videos, is this a sign of inexperience?, social dynamics, inner wolf. anxiety etc. i do try and take a lot from them but i fell all it helps me in is helping/talking to friends when they need help. i cant seem to apply the actions to my own life or when i do its a front so friends dont think anything which i know is wrong
i havent had a proper holiday in 2 years, i am so excited to get away saturday just for 1 week to forget about everything.
i hoping after that, with a few more things i have planned for this year i can get re motivated again. i really really want to, i need to.
Blaming those sorts of feelings on some sort of supposed flaw in your character may not be very healthy for you, and unfortunately people inexperienced with depression can often say things that they think are helpful, but actually can be quite damaging (I was one of these people getting it wrong)
i watch a lot of videos, is this a sign of inexperience?, social dynamics, inner wolf. anxiety etc. i do try and take a lot from them but i fell all it helps me in is helping/talking to friends when they need help. i cant seem to apply the actions to my own life or when i do its a front so friends dont think anything which i know is wrong
FocusRS3 said:
You’re not alone .
Sleep is an issue currently for me especially as it’s so light in the mornings .
Mornings are the worst but I have identified the problems and concerns so I now just try and focus on the ‘plan’.
Sometimes I can tell myself that others have more to worry about and it works but then sometimes not . No real rhyme nor reason .
My tolerance levels are incredibly low. I either feel the need to flatten Moscow or myself!Sleep is an issue currently for me especially as it’s so light in the mornings .
Mornings are the worst but I have identified the problems and concerns so I now just try and focus on the ‘plan’.
Sometimes I can tell myself that others have more to worry about and it works but then sometimes not . No real rhyme nor reason .
Sleep is ok. Lots of meds help.
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