Discussion
CrgT16 said:
True it’s sad but at least you had that... treasure those memories and try not to feel sad for whatever future joys you could have had... instead those older memories fill you with joy. Tomorrow is a new day and 15 other chicks want to be nurtured and happy!
TY CRG. I keep trying to remind her of the joy she provides these hens. Nothing worse than seeing your wife in pain.... and not being able to take it away. The Moose said:
Yes, the miscarriage. I didn’t want to be too obvious. You’re normally pretty open, but that’s rather personal.
I’m not a psychologist, but that’s my guess. What to do about it, I’m afraid I can’t really help you.
Thank you Mr Moose. The ability to help, no fault of yours that you can't. However, the ability to listen and care you've shown, and that is noted and appreciated. I’m not a psychologist, but that’s my guess. What to do about it, I’m afraid I can’t really help you.
CrgT16 said:
Maybe let the hens do the talking tomorrow. Tonight I am afraid is to let things flow through. Put her in the deep end tomorrow morning looking after the chicks.
Funny, we went over there tonight. The other birds, whilst not replacing the lost one, served to be a renewed focus of our care and attention, IE passing the love for Ambi forward. My wife killed herself this afternoon. Came home to find her hanging from the bannister after she used her dressing gown cord. I don’t think I will ever forget the noise of the trapped air escaping that she made after I had cut her down and removed the cord from her neck.
She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
KTF said:
My wife killed herself this afternoon. Came home to find her hanging from the bannister after she used her dressing gown cord. I don’t think I will ever forget the noise of the trapped air escaping that she made after I had cut her down and removed the cord from her neck.
She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
Heck, only popped into this thread to see what's up with the world but this is a shocker. No words will help but I'm very sorry to hear this. Very shocking situation especially having to find your wife like this. She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
Hard as it may be, your kid needs you more than ever. You're entitled to grieve for as long as it takes and I hope you're surrounded by people to help.
Be strong.
KTF said:
My wife killed herself this afternoon. Came home to find her hanging from the bannister after she used her dressing gown cord. I don’t think I will ever forget the noise of the trapped air escaping that she made after I had cut her down and removed the cord from her neck.
She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
My goodness. I’m dreadfully sorry and sad to read this. There’s nothing I can do, no words... but will certainly be thinking of you. You’ll need support and help in the coming days, weeks and months. I don’t know how I’d find the strength...I pray you can and for your boy.She had a meeting with the mental health crisis team shortly before but I guess it didn’t go as she thought as this seemed very unplanned.
Now I have a 21 month old who will never grow up with his mother. Hopefully he is of an age where it won’t register that she isn’t around any more and won’t be impacted by it but I really don’t know.
It’s not sunk in yet and who knows when it will. There is nothing to be gained by going through ‘what if’ as she was clearly in a very bad place.
It would be nice if the shakes I have now acquired would stop though. I am not on my own as I have my little boy to look after and also for company but it’s going to be a long old road to get over this.
A widower and single parent at 41. Not what I had in mind I must admit. It’s a good job I have been off the booze since the day he came home so it’s not part of my routine now otherwise I would probably be quite drunk by now.
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your evening but there is never a good way to break news like this.
Thank you for all the replies.
We are staying at my parents for the next week or so as the house is still full of her stuff and the hallway smells of death.
I will pop back and get things but don’t think I can face being there again yet (even though it is his home).
I doubt I will be in work this week so will keep his routine as normal as possible - playgroup, nursery, etc - then will see how I feel next week.
We are staying at my parents for the next week or so as the house is still full of her stuff and the hallway smells of death.
I will pop back and get things but don’t think I can face being there again yet (even though it is his home).
I doubt I will be in work this week so will keep his routine as normal as possible - playgroup, nursery, etc - then will see how I feel next week.
KTF, so sorry to hear of your wife's passing, I really wish you the best of better days ahead. Ive got a similarly aged child to yours and if nothing else, find strength and happiness in the things they do going forward. If you need to vent anything to a total stranger feel free to get in touch.
KTF. Genuinely sorry to hear your woes, it must be very hard on you. It certainly put our woes in to perspective, however sad it may be for us.
The only advice I can give is firstly, do not do this alone, have others around you. Secondly, from my limited experience of sudden bereavement (friend killed 10 years ago) is that where you are now is shock, the real grief will hit you, and hard, in a few days. It did me, hence the have people around you comment.
All the best, and of course, talk it out on this little community as much as you need to.
The only advice I can give is firstly, do not do this alone, have others around you. Secondly, from my limited experience of sudden bereavement (friend killed 10 years ago) is that where you are now is shock, the real grief will hit you, and hard, in a few days. It did me, hence the have people around you comment.
All the best, and of course, talk it out on this little community as much as you need to.
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