Discussion
A500leroy said:
Still waiting for time to pass till i get to the time im not here anymore.
Been there buddy and it’s a dark place to be. I’m sure there are many who’ve said this but is there someone you can release too? Sometimes that’s not even talking but just someone to sit near and share a coffee, not talk about feelings but just something you can change your focus? A sport? Hobby? Family? Holiday? Work? A find a distraction is a good thing.
The brain is a complex place/organ and needs a reboot.
DM me if I can help I will.
beerok said:
A500leroy said:
Still waiting for time to pass till i get to the time im not here anymore.
Been there buddy and it’s a dark place to be. I’m sure there are many who’ve said this but is there someone you can release too? Sometimes that’s not even talking but just someone to sit near and share a coffee, not talk about feelings but just something you can change your focus? A sport? Hobby? Family? Holiday? Work? A find a distraction is a good thing.
The brain is a complex place/organ and needs a reboot.
DM me if I can help I will.
Babber101 said:
If work is the problem (it is for me too btw) having a break from it could be good but it’s only going to be doubly hard going back to it
This is what I'm most worried about.But not coming back to my job per se (I've been in the role for 15 years so know what to expect) - it's more that I don't know how my team, colleagues and clients will react to it and treat me on my return...
I've just done 3.5 days back at work after being signed off for 5 weeks. Going into the office tomorrow for the first time since before I went off. Nobody communicated with me while I was off and I haven't had much communication with people since I came back. The depressed/anxious part of me thinks that's because they don't care but the rational part says that maybe they're just busy/not sure what to say.
I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
petrolbloke said:
I've just done 3.5 days back at work after being signed off for 5 weeks. Going into the office tomorrow for the first time since before I went off. Nobody communicated with me while I was off and I haven't had much communication with people since I came back. The depressed/anxious part of me thinks that's because they don't care but the rational part says that maybe they're just busy/not sure what to say.
I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
It’s very possible they’ve been giving you peace and quiet to recover. I find people in the main are much more sympathetic than we give them credit for.I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
freenote said:
petrolbloke said:
I've just done 3.5 days back at work after being signed off for 5 weeks. Going into the office tomorrow for the first time since before I went off. Nobody communicated with me while I was off and I haven't had much communication with people since I came back. The depressed/anxious part of me thinks that's because they don't care but the rational part says that maybe they're just busy/not sure what to say.
I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
It’s very possible they’ve been giving you peace and quiet to recover. I find people in the main are much more sympathetic than we give them credit for.I haven't really been giving it much thought (the physically going back into the office bit) but now that I am it's making me a bit anxious. I'll try and remember to come back and post how it goes...
I wouldn’t read much into the radio silence.
It’s a cliche but take every day one at a time
matrignano said:
I'm about two weeks into the Prozac, I can't feel it working yet and still haven't managed to start therapy - another 2 weeks to wait (about 6 weeks total wait in London at the moment, private).
Saw the psychiatrist yesterday for an update, he said that he can sign me off work for 4 weeks if I feel like I need time off while the meds kick in and I can start therapy.
Work is (I think) my main source of depression, anxiety and stress, and I think I need to remove myself from that environment for a while.
I'd be interested in hearing experiences on how you broke the news to your line manager? How you dealt with clients or people you have stuff pending with - did you tell them you were going away for a while? Colleagues asking what's wrong with you?
Do HR/Occupational Health become quite intrusive and ask all the ins and outs of your issues?
How the return to work is handled and what is expected from both sides?
Breaking news to line manager - I just said I didn't feel well enough to work and that I'd been signed off, what with and how long for. If you have a fairly open dialogue with your manager though then hopefully it might not come as a huge surprise to them.Saw the psychiatrist yesterday for an update, he said that he can sign me off work for 4 weeks if I feel like I need time off while the meds kick in and I can start therapy.
Work is (I think) my main source of depression, anxiety and stress, and I think I need to remove myself from that environment for a while.
I'd be interested in hearing experiences on how you broke the news to your line manager? How you dealt with clients or people you have stuff pending with - did you tell them you were going away for a while? Colleagues asking what's wrong with you?
Do HR/Occupational Health become quite intrusive and ask all the ins and outs of your issues?
How the return to work is handled and what is expected from both sides?
Clients/ongoing work - wasn't really much of an issue for me - I just updated my line manager with where things were and let him deal with it. The day I went off sick I was WFH and really didn't feel up to calling or even messaging colleagues.
Colleagues asking - your manager by default should keep the details private unless you ask otherwise. If they ask you then you can either be honest about it or say you'd rather not talk about it. I'd say you're more likely to get support from your colleagues if you're honest with them about what's wrong. If you bottle it up then they might come to their own conclusions but can't really help if they don't know. There are some colleagues I feel I can be more honest/open with and others I am not comfortable talking to.
HR/Occupational Health - I've not had any contact from HR yet and not sure if we have OH, even if we do I don't think there's anything that could be done unless I was moved to a different team. I am expecting HR will want to speak to me at some point. The focus should be on how the work environment might be contributing to your symptoms and whether there are any adjustments that could be made.
Return to work - will be the day after your "fit note" runs out, so your manager will be aware as you will normally need to send this to them. They'll either make contact with you shortly before the return to work or you can make contact with them. I didn't have any contact from them so emailed the day before to remind my manager I'd be returning to work and to ask schedule a catch up on the first day back.
If you're still not sure about taking time out have you got friends/family/partner you can talk to about it?
Might also be worth checking your contract/policies for procedures around sick leave and policies on sick pay.
For me I tried not to feel too guilty about taking time out - looking after yourself is ultimately more important than looking after the company you work for. In my case the working environment is the main factor in my depression/anxiety and other colleagues have felt similarly to me. The world won't stop turning if you take some time out.
Good luck
It's times like this when being employed versus self employed is priceless. The mental comfort to be able to come back to a job role is worth a lot compared to those small business owners who are have no where to turn. If they don't turn up to work and put on a brave face, their businesses simply suffer and eventually go under.
Edited by JiggyJaggy on Wednesday 11th May 11:07
Thank you for all the advice and insights.
Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
JiggyJaggy said:
Such a weird feeling to have a nice weekend with my extended family in the sunshine and sharing food / drink, yet wake up for no apparent reason feeling exceptionally down and demotivated this morning. Wondering if anyone else randomly has opposite days like the above?
Yep, typically for me it’s based on environmental and body stimuli dehydration, tiredness, energy/fatigue, sleep, etc. also starting to find out that a dip in nutrition from cleaner foods e.g. vegetables etc. causes me to also dip. Starting to see patterns.matrignano said:
Thank you for all the advice and insights.
Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
My conclusion, after more or less recovering from mental health problems, is that much of what caused my depression was the belief/discovery that much of my job, and much of everyone else's job, was crap. The thing is that coming out, so to speak, of the dark days, and all the therapy, I think I see 'things' much more clearly and I was right. Most of it is crap. I've a teacher friend, very inspirational for his kids and willing to put the effort in with regards help with those who needed it, including my son whom he inspired. He used to complain about all the impositions by various governments that made his job more difficult, more expensive and crappier. Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
My problem was that the methods I used to try and cope with all the crap became exhausted, mainly, I think, because I tried to make sense of them rather than just doing my thing regardless. What's irritating is that I used to work with someone, years before I lost it, who did just that. She was the best at her job not only in my department, but the best I've ever seen. She did her thing regardless. Much to the bosses' irritation, her results left the rest of us behind because we tried to make sense of our instructions. She just carried on as before. She was brilliant.
The odd thing is, she used to be called nutty, mad and weird, although only by those who didn't know her. I reckon I lacked her bottle. I must have known she was right. It's so obvious now.
If you think 'things' are weird and pointless, you are probably right. It's a difficult concept, but believe me, it's the most likely.
I used to run my force's identification parades: six a day, five days a week. I slimmed the work I had to do with regards records and statements, so a lot of my day was actually doing stuff. My next but one boss imposed record collection on me, but I just created a spreadsheet and added another number. He demanded that I record every parade where there was a positive result. Remember that the point of an ID parade is to see if a victim or witness can identify the suspect. If they picked them out, I've proved that they can. If they didn't, I've proved that they can't. 100% success rate.
He could not understand the logic. What he could also not see is that if there was pressure on me, as independent of the enquiry team to ensure fairness, was measured by how many positive IDs there were, the defence would have had a field day in court. And I was the one who had to be examined by a psychiatrist to obtain a report to say I was sane enough to give evidence.
It's all crap. Accept that and it might begin to make sense.
matrignano said:
Thank you for all the advice and insights.
Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
I recently had 12 weeks out after my 15 year old tried to top herself. I was already only just about keeping my head above water as I’d been quite knocked about emotionally as my dad had recently died. Still haven't decided whether to take time off or not.
I also have this guilty feeling about taking time off, because there's always a meeting or a task that needs doing at some point in the future and I feel like I can't let people down by being way and letting others deal with it.
But completely agree that I should prioritise my health, because nobody else will.
I work in banking where there's still a big stigma about mental health (despite all the "feel good" newsletters they publish) and I'm afraid that if I took time off, I would be quite quickly managed out. Which is not what you want when a recession is looming around the corner!
On the upside, I *think* the Prozac is kicking in as I'm feeling less affected by the crap that goes on at work, and I'm starting therapy next week. So maybe I can ride things out.
I would have had more but that was as much as I could afford as I was due to go on half pay. So I forced myself back into the saddle.
I managed to reduce some management responsibilities which have been moved to my senior team member - which has been a great opportunity for him. Some urgent project work was picked up by colleagues.
The stuff that couldn’t be passed on just sat waiting for me to come back. And the sky didn’t fall and I still have my job.
I work in the legal sector which has an equally bad reputation for intolerance of weakness.
BobSaunders said:
JiggyJaggy said:
Such a weird feeling to have a nice weekend with my extended family in the sunshine and sharing food / drink, yet wake up for no apparent reason feeling exceptionally down and demotivated this morning. Wondering if anyone else randomly has opposite days like the above?
Yep, typically for me it’s based on environmental and body stimuli dehydration, tiredness, energy/fatigue, sleep, etc. also starting to find out that a dip in nutrition from cleaner foods e.g. vegetables etc. causes me to also dip. Starting to see patterns.Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff