Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly

[Mr Tidy]

No, it really is an effing effer.

My cousin died in 1995 when he was 35, happily married with 3 lovely children and his own business, but having a tumour the size of a golf ball in your head is never going to end well.

His father (my uncle) took over much of the business, but within a couple of years cancer got him too.

I just treat every day as a bonus.

[FocusRS3]

Mr Tidy said:

No, it really is an effing effer.

My cousin died in 1995 when he was 35, happily married with 3 lovely children and his own business, but having a tumour the size of a golf ball in your head is never going to end well.

His father (my uncle) took over much of the business, but within a couple of years cancer got him too.

I just treat every day as a bonus.

Wise words

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Live every day like it's your last.....one day you'll be right.

[FocusRS3]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Live every day like it's your last.....one day you'll be right.

Very poignant post if I may say.

[dxg]

Oilchange said:

Just killed my mother in law 3 days ago. Throat spread to the liver. Lifelong smoker though.

Throat cancer took my mum almost two years ago. She struggled with it for almost ten years before finally giving up.

I watched her go from being frustrated to being distressed.

Never smoked a day in her life....

[anonymous-user]

Yesterday was exactly one year since I had my right kidney removed due to cancer.

Time flies so quickly .....

[LosingGrip]

I feel lucky if that's the word to get to 30 and not have cancer effect me directly.

Until now.

My girlfriends nan has got kidney cancer which was found just before Xmas.

And she found out yesterday her auntie (who is like a second mum) is suspected to have bowel cancer. She's had some lumps removed to be tested, and they are checking nothing has spread to her lymph nodes. She's having a stoma bag fitted today.

I'll be honest, i haven't got a clue what to say or do to help my girlfriend.

With her auntie, they are saying that they believe they've caught it early.

Are there any websites that can give some advice? I'm wary to google.

[ecsrobin]

LosingGrip said:

I feel lucky if that's the word to get to 30 and not have cancer effect me directly.

Until now.

My girlfriends nan has got kidney cancer which was found just before Xmas.

And she found out yesterday her auntie (who is like a second mum) is suspected to have bowel cancer. She's had some lumps removed to be tested, and they are checking nothing has spread to her lymph nodes. She's having a stoma bag fitted today.

I'll be honest, i haven't got a clue what to say or do to help my girlfriend.

With her auntie, they are saying that they believe they've caught it early.

Are there any websites that can give some advice? I'm wary to google.

Sorry to hear that.

I’d ignore websites as it really is case by case. My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in March/April and we lost him in October other people are here for much longer.

I’m not great when it comes to emotions and other people’s feelings so I stepped up to everyone and said I’d deal with paperwork and ferrying him to appointments whilst my sister dealt with an emotional mother and other family, it worked reasonably well so if your unsure how to help maybe something like that can be of assistance.

My biggest regret is not spending more time with my dad in the last 6 months. He never wanted to know how long he had, if we had known I’d have stopped working and gone and done a load of trips with him but he looked as well as could be and just deteriorated in a week at the end.

[Stan the Bat]

LosingGrip said:

I feel lucky if that's the word to get to 30 and not have cancer effect me directly.

Until now.

My girlfriends nan has got kidney cancer which was found just before Xmas.

And she found out yesterday her auntie (who is like a second mum) is suspected to have bowel cancer. She's had some lumps removed to be tested, and they are checking nothing has spread to her lymph nodes. She's having a stoma bag fitted today.

I'll be honest, i haven't got a clue what to say or do to help my girlfriend.

With her auntie, they are saying that they believe they've caught it early.

Are there any websites that can give some advice? I'm wary to google.

Re the auntie, it seems as though they have taken out more than a few lumps if she is having a stoma bag fitted.

If nothing has spread all should be fine.

Had this twice at 12 years and 6 years ago, anything you want to know ask away.

[LosingGrip]

Thank you both. I'm sure I'll have more questions over the next few days.

Re the bag...i agree. Her Auntie is very much one of those that wont want to be a burden on anyone, so i wouldn't be surprised if she isn't saying everything.

She's being fed via a tube as well. My girlfriend is hoping to go and see her at the weekend with her mum, so hopefully we'll know a bit more.

[ecsrobin]

LosingGrip said:

Thank you both. I'm sure I'll have more questions over the next few days.

Re the bag...i agree. Her Auntie is very much one of those that wont want to be a burden on anyone, so i wouldn't be surprised if she isn't saying everything.

She's being fed via a tube as well. My girlfriend is hoping to go and see her at the weekend with her mum, so hopefully we'll know a bit more.

That sounds similar to when dad had his bag fitted. There was a few ups and downs getting him off the tube but once off the tube he was out living a relatively normal life.

[Perseverant]

I posted a while back on this thread. Sorry for all of you. To recap briefly, my mother died of cancer back in 2001, my daughter had a brain tumour removed in 2007 - she's OK now but it was close. The worst is that my wife was given a terminal diagnosis nearly 20 years ago and has survived but is slowly deteriorating - she has diabetes now and had a mild stroke a few years back, all related to cancer. A long term friend is now in serious trouble and over the last year several colleagues from the past have died of cancer. It's relentless.

[bexVN]

Found out yesterday, a girl I worked with for several years but inevitably lost touch with due to job change etc has been fighting melanoma (and she isn't even a sun worshipper)

It was treated but returned with aggression in her scar line, abdominal wall and lung! .

She has been on immunotherapy for a couple years and has so far responded well and is clear at the mo. Unfortunately they have had to stop the therapy early as she also has severe hip dysplasia and needs an op on her hip. She is 39...

[anonymous-user]

Sorry to hear that Bex

fking cancer, doesn’t care who it visits despite never being invited.

[bexVN]

garyhun said:

Sorry to hear that Bex

fking cancer, doesn’t care who it visits despite never being invited.

You are so right. We lost a vet friend several years ago now to cancer, bless her she had been fighting it for years.

What is apparent is recovery can happen for many (though still not for enough of us) my husband is recovering well and we know it could have been such a different path for him without the early diagnosis and whilst my friend has had a pretty crap few years she is now able to look to a clear future (just waiting for that magic 5yr remission marker)

The most random one was a lovely lady who was running a course I was doing told us her husband was under treatment for cancer of his tonsils! As you can imagine that has been a rough journey for him, she was apologising because she had had to miss a week to look after him.! She diid say that even though it had been tough he was responding well to treatment.

I'll be honest though it makes me often think, who will it be next and I never used to think like that about cancer .

Edited by bexVN on Thursday 16th January 10:49

[anonymous-user]

bexVN said:

garyhun said:

Sorry to hear that Bex

fking cancer, doesn’t care who it visits despite never being invited.

You are so right. We lost a vet friend several years ago now to cancer, bless her she had been fighting it for years.

What is apparent is recovery can happen for many (though still not for enough of us) my husband is recovering well and we know it could have been such a different path for him without the early diagnosis and whilst my friend has had a pretty crap few years she is now able to look to a clear future (just waiting for that magic 5yr remission marker)

The most random one was a lovely lady who was running a course I was doing told us her husband was under treatment for cancer of his tonsils! As you can imagine that has been a rough journey for him, she was apologising because she had had to miss a week to look after him.! She diid say that even though it had been tough he was responding well to treatment.

I'll be honest though it makes me often think, who will it be next and I never used to think like that about cancer .

Edited by bexVN on Thursday 16th January 10:49

It’s now a year since my kidney removal and so far I’m free of the bugger but, as you say, you can’t help think about it and who’s life it will poke its nose into next.

[Ynox]

LosingGrip said:

I feel lucky if that's the word to get to 30 and not have cancer effect me directly.

Until now.

My girlfriends nan has got kidney cancer which was found just beforb Xmas.

And she found out yesterday her auntie (who is like a second mum) is suspected to have bowel cancer. She's had some lumps removed to be tested, and they are checking nothing has spread to her lymph nodes. She's having a stoma bag fitted today.

I'll be honest, i haven't got a clue what to say or do to help my girlfriend.

With her auntie, they are saying that they believe they've caught it early.

Are there any websites that can give some advice? I'm wary to google.

If you want advice on bowel cancer, check out https://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/

My mum died of bowel cancer which spread to her ovaries, then liver and then lungs back in July last year. Also lost a mate to it. My mum's ending was pretty fking grim - really not pleasant., but she wasn't in pain and our local hospice helped out an incredible amount.

If bowel is caught early then it's pretty treatable. Unfortunately for my mum she ignored the symptoms...

[anonymous-user]

Ynox said:

LosingGrip said:

I feel lucky if that's the word to get to 30 and not have cancer effect me directly.

Until now.

My girlfriends nan has got kidney cancer which was found just beforb Xmas.

And she found out yesterday her auntie (who is like a second mum) is suspected to have bowel cancer. She's had some lumps removed to be tested, and they are checking nothing has spread to her lymph nodes. She's having a stoma bag fitted today.

I'll be honest, i haven't got a clue what to say or do to help my girlfriend.

With her auntie, they are saying that they believe they've caught it early.

Are there any websites that can give some advice? I'm wary to google.

If you want advice on bowel cancer, check out https://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/

My mum died of bowel cancer which spread to her ovaries, then liver and then lungs back in July last year. Also lost a mate to it. My mum's ending was pretty fking grim - really not pleasant., but she wasn't in pain and our local hospice helped out an incredible amount.

If bowel is caught early then it's pretty treatable. Unfortunately for my mum she ignored the symptoms...

As above, same as my now mother in law, ignored the symptoms.

Please, please go to the DR! In saying that the DRs my MIL went too continuously misdiagnosed her and she ended up in A+E at Stage 3 / 4, spread from bowel to ovaries.

Round 4 of chemo last week and status update this month ... is it working.

[LosingGrip]

Ynox said:

If you want advice on bowel cancer, check out https://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/

My mum died of bowel cancer which spread to her ovaries, then liver and then lungs back in July last year. Also lost a mate to it. My mum's ending was pretty fking grim - really not pleasant., but she wasn't in pain and our local hospice helped out an incredible amount.

If bowel is caught early then it's pretty treatable. Unfortunately for my mum she ignored the symptoms...

This is what I'm worried about as she seemed to be putting off going to the drs.

My girlfriend was going to go and see her on Saturday, however she got a call from her mum saying the roads are flooded and it would be best if she didn't risk driving.

I'll be honest, i think she said that so she didn't see her Auntie in hospital. She's still in there, she's started to eat a small amount which is good. No results back yet on what they've taken out.

I'm worried about my girlfriend. She's finding it hard to understand i think. She's emotional at the best of times (cries at Finding Dorey type!). She doesn't want to go to work and wants to stay at home, which i think is the worst thing to happen.

[RDMcG]

Is medically assisted death available in the UK as we have in Canada?..becoming very common here for terminal patients who desire it. I am a big supporter and would opt for it if the situation arises as in the example for today's news:

https://torontosun.com/news/local-news/man-who-wen...