Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
oldaudi said:
Very true that Deadpool quote. I’m 9 months in from losing my wife and having to deal with grief, guilt about surviving , worry about the future and being a single parent in one go I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
My heart goes out to you Oldaudi. I remember reading your posts back when your wife had her diagnosis.
Take care of yourself and no reason you should be feeling any form of guilt . You are there for your kids
GT3Manthey said:
oldaudi said:
Very true that Deadpool quote. I’m 9 months in from losing my wife and having to deal with grief, guilt about surviving , worry about the future and being a single parent in one go I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
My heart goes out to you Oldaudi. I remember reading your posts back when your wife had her diagnosis.
Take care of yourself and no reason you should be feeling any form of guilt . You are there for your kids
I've been on an emotional rollercoaster this last year or so and my wife is still fighting.
I want to set up something - not even sure what shape it will take - or exactly what it will do, but to offer support to the plus ones. I'm sure some of the experiences here would be invaluable.
https://www.facebook.com/CancerPlusOne/ ETA: Maybe FB links not allowed, URL is correct but link is back to PH.
Not shared this before today, and I'm hopeless at Facebook so it might be the wrong kind of page/thing. Mods - it's 100% nothing that needs/collects money.
Edited by 22 on Friday 13th May 12:02
I brought my Dad home from the hospital yesterday so he could be at home when his body gives up.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
ThunderSpook said:
I brought my Dad home from the hospital yesterday so he could be at home when his body gives up.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
Very sorry to hear your news . He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
All I can say is try and be strong for both your father and your mother as this very difficult time .
Thinking of you
ThunderSpook said:
I brought my Dad home from the hospital yesterday so he could be at home when his body gives up.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
Sorry to hear this He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
ThunderSpook said:
I brought my Dad home from the hospital yesterday so he could be at home when his body gives up.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
So sorry to hear this.He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
My dad died 10 years ago, and it was the toughest time of my life.
My advice to you is to spend as much time as you can with him and then, afterwards, to focus on the good memories, not the final days.
ThunderSpook said:
I brought my Dad home from the hospital yesterday so he could be at home when his body gives up.
He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
Words can't help, but keep thinking of the good times you had .He was diagnosed with inoperable oesophageal cancer in October which was the first he knew about it. He was told he had 6-12 months. He had chemo through to March when he was told it was working really well and that he should have at least another 12 months.
He than had another scan about 3 weeks ago and was told it had come back aggressively and he had less than 3 months.
He’s only 70 and he and my Mum had planned their whole retirement together. I have had to watch over the last few months as my Dad has taken his whole life apart so my Mum doesn’t have to deal with it. He spent the first 4 months of this year working on a motor home that they planned to use this summer, that’s also been sold.
He had an operation last week to fit a stent in his oesophagus to help him eat and I think that’s basically finished him off. He’s so weak he can barely walk now or stay awake.
I’m not sure he’ll make it another week. I feel like a broken man. My Dad means the world to me.
loafer123 said:
So sorry to hear this.
My dad died 10 years ago, and it was the toughest time of my life.
My advice to you is to spend as much time as you can with him and then, afterwards, to focus on the good memories, not the final days.
This is good advice. Really good advice. Not easy, but so helpful. My dad died 10 years ago, and it was the toughest time of my life.
My advice to you is to spend as much time as you can with him and then, afterwards, to focus on the good memories, not the final days.
Awful news, I've been there with the same with my Dad. It is far and away the worst thing that ever happened in my life. It will get worse and then slowly better. Only time heals such an event and even then, only slowly and never completely. Your family will adjust to a new normal.
I was thinking about this, and it is something you highlighted. My Dad worked for British Gas for his whole life, had a big payout when he left, had a big pension etc. At the time the company was going through a big reorganisation and lots of senior managers took a golden handshake. All were in the 50/60s. I'd say that the majority lived a handful of years. All that work and when it was finally time to enjoy the fruits of a lifetime of working hard it was all taken from them.
True, many were smokers but many were not. I'm in my early 50s now and am wondering if my future plans may suddenly be cancelled. With 1 in 2 now likely to get the Big C I'm at risk as much as many others.
Anyway, to end here, a favourite phrase of mine, related to life is : Have fun, it's later than you think. It's a song by The Specials but if ever there were words to live by....
I was thinking about this, and it is something you highlighted. My Dad worked for British Gas for his whole life, had a big payout when he left, had a big pension etc. At the time the company was going through a big reorganisation and lots of senior managers took a golden handshake. All were in the 50/60s. I'd say that the majority lived a handful of years. All that work and when it was finally time to enjoy the fruits of a lifetime of working hard it was all taken from them.
True, many were smokers but many were not. I'm in my early 50s now and am wondering if my future plans may suddenly be cancelled. With 1 in 2 now likely to get the Big C I'm at risk as much as many others.
Anyway, to end here, a favourite phrase of mine, related to life is : Have fun, it's later than you think. It's a song by The Specials but if ever there were words to live by....
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