Asperger's - anybody been diagnosed later in life ?

Asperger's - anybody been diagnosed later in life ?

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Discussion

techguyone

3,137 posts

141 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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35 but some of the stuff I downgraded due to age (like memorising numbers etc) I scored 35, more like 37 if I'd taken it when younger.

Bout what I expected.

NoVetec

9,967 posts

172 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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227bhp said:
If anyone watched the Chris Packham program what did you think about it?
Could have done with being longer, I assume x amount of stuff was cut for scheduling, especially the stuff in the U.S.

I identified with three things with Chris; the strong attachment to his dog and worrying about its death, keeping the house neat and tidy and preferring to live alone despite being in a relationship.

I scored an 11 on the test previously posted.

PositronicRay

26,957 posts

182 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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Captain Smerc said:
https://www.aspergerstestsite.com/

Mmm , looks like I'm in the club . cool
If that's accurate me too. 35.

PositronicRay

26,957 posts

182 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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Had another go fudging it a bit and 47. What's the max?

xjay1337

15,966 posts

117 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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mike80 said:
Same here! I got 32 on the test, particular the stuff about social situations, I can sometimes struggle with. Don't like the idea of them (usually fine when I get there!), crap at small talk etc. a lot of the time. Happy to spend time by myself than with a group.

However I recognise that, and it's up to me to make the best of it, not make excuses.
Similar for me.

I scored 28.

We are in the cool club haha

DoubleSix

11,691 posts

175 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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My eldest brother got diagnosed 8 years ago (he’s 45 now).

Seems to have been a good excuse to disengage with the world of work, maximise benefits, drain my mothers time (not to mention financial and emotional resources) etc etc

Diagnosis or not sometimes you just have to get on with life! Imho the diagnosis has had a net negative effect in his case.

Edited by DoubleSix on Saturday 18th November 17:21

PositronicRay

26,957 posts

182 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
quotequote all
DoubleSix said:
My eldest brother got diagnosed 8 years ago (he’s 45 now).

Seems to have been a good excuse to disengage with the world of work, maximise benefits, drain my mothers time (not to mention financial and emotional resources) etc etc

Diagnosis or not sometimes you just have to get on with life! Imho the diagnosis has had a net negative effect in his case.

Edited by DoubleSix on Saturday 18th November 17:21
I quite agree, I feel for people who struggle with things but we all have areas of our life we have to work a bit harder at or manage.

Captain Smerc

3,015 posts

115 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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PositronicRay said:
Had another go fudging it a bit and 47. What's the max?
Hooow much ? I didn't realise it went that high spin

Ructions

4,705 posts

120 months

Saturday 18th November 2017
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Captain Smerc said:
PositronicRay said:
Had another go fudging it a bit and 47. What's the max?
Hooow much ? I didn't realise it went that high spin
I believe 50 is the highest score.

Hoofy

76,253 posts

281 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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30.

fbc

179 posts

135 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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DoubleSix said:
My eldest brother got diagnosed 8 years ago (he’s 45 now).

Seems to have been a good excuse to disengage with the world of work, maximise benefits, drain my mothers time (not to mention financial and emotional resources) etc etc

Diagnosis or not sometimes you just have to get on with life! Imho the diagnosis has had a net negative effect in his case.

Edited by DoubleSix on Saturday 18th November 17:21
PositronicRay said:
I quite agree, I feel for people who struggle with things but we all have areas of our life we have to work a bit harder at or manage.
Raises an interesting, an important point. I can only speak from my experience, it's true that's it's a case of constantly managing things - I'm very disengaged with society and people, and I know that distance works for me and brings me comfort, and most importantly having been diagnosed professionally I understand *why* it works for me and why I need to be that way. It's the complete opposite of what works and is "healthy" in an emotional and psychological sense for the majority of people and totally against the foundations of society and the social creatures humans are. However, I'm also very much aware of that contrast, and how my needs simply don't fit - I understand that means at times I have to make allowances, as uncomfortable, unpleasant, and anxiety-causing as they are. I know I can't let my needs be a drain on others.

So it's certainly a case of being very different and living in that way, but doing so in a way that isn't unfair or imposing on others - that can be quite a tricky balance at times. I'll also explain to people why I behave in certain ways so they know it's not due to them or something they need to accommodate unnecessarily. That explanation is really key - people can't, and won't, necessarily understand, that's not a failing in them, and for me to expect that would be unfair, but provided they know the management becomes easier.

Oh, scored 44 on that test (did it out of curiousity to see how a simplistic online test compared with a diagnosis by a specialist professional).

Edited by fbc on Sunday 19th November 07:48

227bhp

10,203 posts

127 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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fbc said:
Raises an interesting, an important point. I can only speak from my experience, it's true that's it's a case of constantly managing things - I'm very disengaged with society and people, and I know that distance works for me and brings me comfort, and most importantly having been diagnosed professionally I understand *why* it works for me and why I need to be that way. It's the complete opposite of what works and is "healthy" in an emotional and psychological sense for the majority of people and totally against the foundations of society and the social creatures humans are. However, I'm also very much aware of that contrast, and how my needs simply don't fit - I understand that means at times I have to make allowances, as uncomfortable, unpleasant, and anxiety-causing as they are. I know I can't let my needs be a drain on others.

So it's certainly a case of being very different and living in that way, but doing so in a way that isn't unfair or imposing on others - that can be quite a tricky balance at times. I'll also explain to people why I behave in certain ways so they know it's not due to them or something they need to accommodate unnecessarily. That explanation is really key - people can't, and won't, necessarily understand, that's not a failing in them, and for me to expect that would be unfair, but provided they know the management becomes easier.

Oh, scored 44 on that test (did it out of curiousity to see how a simplistic online test compared with a diagnosis by a specialist professional).

Edited by fbc on Sunday 19th November 07:48
Do you think that if you eased yourself into situations you don't do bit by bit, you would eventually become more used to them?

fbc

179 posts

135 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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227bhp said:
Do you think that if you eased yourself into situations you don't do bit by bit, you would eventually become more used to them?
It's quite the reverse. Until I was diagnosed (at 35), I did exactly that - played along, did the "normal" thing and put myself in all those everyday, regular situations and interactions. And it was constantly an anxious, draining experience that I never enjoyed, always wanted to escape, never fit into, and - this is the key part - I was never being myself, I was always just playing along. I just presumed everybody struggled that much. But I was wrong, the diagnosis explained it, explaining why I had to fake it and put on a brave face, why it was such a horrible, taxing experience.

It effects people differently, and to differing extents - but it's not something you get "used to" and can adapt to, it doesn't work like that (well, for me anyway). My brain simply doesn't work that way when it comes to those normal human experiences, needs, and drives.

AndStilliRise

2,295 posts

115 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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Untill I was diagnosed I really didn't understand why sometimes I just wanted to do my own thing. Now that I know I can feel the 'fog' over my head which is a way of knowing I need to spend some time with myself. In these cases running a marathon or riding a sportive usually helps lift the fog and me to return back to normal. This is the main way I deal with it by doing something physically and mentally exhaustive.

DoubleSix

11,691 posts

175 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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Worth remembering that we ALL to some greater or lesser extent would rather just “do our own thing”.

It’s putting one’s self out that seperates the selfish from those that consider the wider needs of others and you’d be woefully misinformed to think there is no ‘cost’ to non-sufferers and no effort required - that’s just life!

Drawing on a lifetime of having a family member with aspergers it certainly feels like a licence/permission to be a selfish tt whilst the rest of us have to compromise to accomodate family, friends, worklife etc

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but I’m a bit fed up with the whole aspergers dynamic right now.

fbc

179 posts

135 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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DoubleSix said:
Worth remembering that we ALL to some greater or lesser extent would rather just “do our own thing”.

It’s putting one’s self out that seperates the selfish from those that consider the wider needs of others and you’d be woefully misinformed to think there is no ‘cost’ to non-sufferers and no effort required - that’s just life!

Drawing on a lifetime of having a family member with aspergers it certainly feels like a licence/permission to be a selfish tt whilst the rest of us have to compromise to accomodate family, friends, worklife etc

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but I’m a bit fed up with the whole aspergers dynamic right now.
This is why management and understanding is key. Having Aspergers is most definitely not a licence to be blindly selfish and hurt others - likewise, being aware that an individual has the condition helps others understand their needs (as alien as they seem). I have to put on a mask and be fake every moment I'm in a social situation - e.g. at work - it's exhausting, but I know I have to do it (I manage it by only being in the office two days per week).

Hoofy

76,253 posts

281 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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It's not just about "doing your own thing", is it?

fbc

179 posts

135 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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Hoofy said:
It's not just about "doing your own thing", is it?
Exactly. Just like OCD (a destructive illness misunderstood by most) isn't just "being neat" - it's far from just being a simple preference, it's a part of your psychological make-up and drives your needs. Simply preferring to "do your own thing" does not mean you have Aspergers.

227bhp

10,203 posts

127 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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fbc said:
Hoofy said:
It's not just about "doing your own thing", is it?
Exactly. Just like OCD (a destructive illness misunderstood by most) isn't just "being neat" - it's far from just being a simple preference, it's a part of your psychological make-up and drives your needs. Simply preferring to "do your own thing" does not mean you have Aspergers.
It depends on whether you've been wired incorrectly or programmed incorrectly.

fbc

179 posts

135 months

Sunday 19th November 2017
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227bhp said:
It depends on whether you've been wired incorrectly or programmed incorrectly.
That's a great way of putting it - I'll often use the 'missing / incorrect wiring' metaphor when explaining it to people.