Asperger's - anybody been diagnosed later in life ?

[SimonTheSailor]

Great info FBC, thanks for added your own personal situations.

I've suspected for some time about it and it's all slowly adding up. I'm not finding excuses, it's actually putting me at ease already. I might not even get ' checked up' as how much difference will it make ? I'm 49 and enjoy my own company (most of the time) and can tolerate others for a while !! (Lots of other traits too !)

[227bhp]

fbc said:

227bhp said:

It depends on whether you've been wired incorrectly or programmed incorrectly.

That's a great way of putting it - I'll often use the 'missing / incorrect wiring' metaphor when explaining it to people.

If you genuinely have been then yes, but I don't think there is a way to be sure you have is there?
I don't know your personal circumstances or tale and I genuinely do remain open minded, but in a way it seems like religion. You can be in it to different depths and for different reasons or whatever you want, but when you complain about what you have or it takes its toll on others then someone will pull you up on it. DoubleSix has obviously been or seen someone on the receiving end of it hence his response.
It rears its ugly head in relationships with others, if you are happy to be alone for the rest of your life then it's gonna be ok, but otherwise....

[227bhp]

SimonTheSailor said:

Great info FBC, thanks for added your own personal situations.

I've suspected for some time about it and it's all slowly adding up. I'm not finding excuses, it's actually putting me at ease already. I might not even get ' checked up' as how much difference will it make ? I'm 49 and enjoy my own company (most of the time) and can tolerate others for a while !! (Lots of other traits too !)

So do I, but I wouldn't say i'm AS, just as Oldbanger pointed out earlier what she felt she was, I have some traits and get on with it.

[DoubleSix]

fbc said:

DoubleSix said:

Worth remembering that we ALL to some greater or lesser extent would rather just “do our own thing”.

It’s putting one’s self out that seperates the selfish from those that consider the wider needs of others and you’d be woefully misinformed to think there is no ‘cost’ to non-sufferers and no effort required - that’s just life!

Drawing on a lifetime of having a family member with aspergers it certainly feels like a licence/permission to be a selfish tt whilst the rest of us have to compromise to accomodate family, friends, worklife etc

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but I’m a bit fed up with the whole aspergers dynamic right now.

This is why management and understanding is key. Having Aspergers is most definitely not a licence to be blindly selfish and hurt others - likewise, being aware that an individual has the condition helps others understand their needs (as alien as they seem). I have to put on a mask and be fake every moment I'm in a social situation - e.g. at work - it's exhausting, but I know I have to do it (I manage it by only being in the office two days per week).

Sure, I get what you're saying. But do you get that everyone gets up in the morning and puts a mask on? Do you appreciate that in fact, most people do not want to spend 8 hours a day in an office with people they only tolerate for reasons of a practical end?

I would rather sit at home twanging my guitar than get off my arse and make small talk with a room full of strangers too! But you know what, I can't opt out of life because it's hard or exhausting - I have to get on with it.

I am yet to meet anyone with Aspergers I would call alien. Quirky? yes. A little hard to converse with? yes. But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

[227bhp]

DoubleSix said:

Sure, I get what you're saying. But do you get that everyone gets up in the morning and puts a mask on? Do you appreciate that in fact, most people do not want to spend 8 hours a day in an office with people they only tolerate for reasons of a practical end?

I would rather sit at home twanging my guitar than get off my arse and make small talk with a room full of strangers too! But you know what, I can't opt out of life because it's hard or exhausting - I have to get on with it.

I am yet to meet anyone with Aspergers I would call alien. Quirky? yes. A little hard to converse with? yes. But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

Lol, that doesn't mean they don't exist!

[fbc]

227bhp said:

If you genuinely have been then yes, but I don't think there is a way to be sure you have is there?

That's where having a thorough, professional assessment and diagnosis from an experienced specialist in the field comes in, rather than relying on internet tests.

227bhp said:

I don't know your personal circumstances or tale and I genuinely do remain open minded, but in a way it seems like religion. You can be in it to different depths and for different reasons or whatever you want, but when you complain about what you have or it takes its toll on others then someone will pull you up on it. DoubleSix has obviously been or seen someone on the receiving end of it hence his response.

I totally understand DoubleSix's frustrations - seeing somebody let themselves, and those who care about them, become victims without making any effort to manage it (much like a smoker with lung cancer not doing anything to minimise the harm) is hugely frustrating for me (though admittedly in the immediate period after being diagnosed I was guilty of doing just that) - perhaps even more so due to the negativity it creates around Aspergers. The condition doesn't remove responsibility, particularly as an adult, and I'm not suggesting it does.

227bhp said:

It rears its ugly head in relationships with others, if you are happy to be alone for the rest of your life then it's gonna be ok, but otherwise....

Aspergers or not, we all have to find our place of contentment and comfort, understanding your psychological and emotional needs is key to that. For me, being alone brings that. I understand and appreciate for the vast majority the opposite is true and don't get in the way of that.

DoubleSix said:

Sure, I get what you're saying. But do you get that everyone gets up in the morning and puts a mask on? Do you appreciate that in fact, most people do not want to spend 8 hours a day in an office with people they only tolerate for reasons of a practical end?

I would rather sit at home twanging my guitar than get off my arse and make small talk with a room full of strangers too! But you know what, I can't opt out of life because it's hard or exhausting - I have to get on with it.

I am yet to meet anyone with Aspergers I would call alien. Quirky? yes. A little hard to converse with? yes. But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

I totally understand that everybody wears a mask, to some extent, for some period of time. But trust me, that is not even comparable to my situation. I appreciate and accept that people can't understand that, but it doesn't make it any less true. Your experience of people with Aspergers is just that, your limited experience (and, like many conditions, there's plenty of people who believe they suffer from it and thus label themselves as such when in fact they've not been professionally diagnosed and possibly don't have it) - being on the Autism spectrum it effects sufferers to quite different extents in different ways and areas, so those you've met, and for that matter my experiences, aren't a set example of how it "typically" effects people, it doesn't work like that.

As for your perception of the effects being "crippling" - you don't know the internal struggle they could well be having and how much they're battling to cover it and not fall apart.

I also know I can't just opt out of life - that's the management I talk about, and defining your "life" as one that meets your needs without being an undue load or imposition, nor bringing upset upon others.

Edited by fbc on Sunday 19th November 20:55

[SimonTheSailor]

DoubleSix said:

But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

To you or to them?

[MitchT]

oldbanger said:

Hoofy said:

I suspect I'm mildly and it can get in the way but it's not too impacting. I've always been like this and just accepted it was how I am.

I have considered it myself, but ultimately I am a people person so I think I just have aspie traits.

I'm a bit the same. Scored 30 on the test posted in the thread - 31 is the threshold for testing positive apparently.

I find social situations really taxing - noisy, crowded pubs, bars clubs, parties seem to drain my battery really quickly. I feel like I'm in a fog of indecipherable noise. Can't be arsed with conversation for the sake of it. On the other hand, business relationships are where I feel at home. If the "meat and potatoes" of the conversation are provided by a situation that needs discussing I'm in my element, it's when I have to pull the meat & potatoes out of thin air to facilitate conversation for purely social purposes that the cognitive overload knocks me over.

I'm 43 BTW.

Edited by MitchT on Sunday 19th November 20:46

[DoubleSix]

SimonTheSailor said:

DoubleSix said:

But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

To you or to them?

I was going to ask FBC the same thing when he said his situation is not comparable...

End of the day none of us can see into the mind of another so it's not a terribly worthwhile argument to put forward.

[Wiccan of Darkness]

I scored 42 on that test but then I got my diagnosis about 5 years ago. The diagnosis procedure was a bit more complex, and included a wide range of situations and stimuli. A positive diagnosis was more to do with the reaction to the process as opposed to the process itself. For example, there was a 10 minute 'analysis' by a psychologist who asked a lot about my dreams, and whilst that formed a small part of the diagnosis, she was wearing a lot of perfume to the point I just said for fks sake open a window, your perfume is killing me. But afterwards I was told the perfume was an integral part of the process, to subtly check for hypersensitivity.

SimonTheSailor said:

DoubleSix said:

But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

To you or to them?

And therein lies the root of the problem. The things that are crippling are things you can't see. For example, being in London (or any big city) with traffic noise that leaves you in so much pain you want to curl up and die. The lights in a supermarket that give you a migraine, or the detergent aisle that irritates the lungs. Even something as innocuous as a dinner party, where there are 2 different conversations going on, can lead to blinding headaches, and a bewildering overload of the brain. Over time, it creates similar illnesses as long term stress. So someone might be given happy pills to deal with it.

Here is a list of common side effects of sertraline, a common antidepressant.

• drowsiness, dizziness, tired feeling;
• mild nausea, stomach pain, upset stomach, constipation;
• dry mouth;
• changes in appetite or weight;
• sleep problems (insomnia); or.
• decreased sex drive, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm

Above, I mentioned 'hypersensitivity' and that manifests itself as slightly more extreme reactions to medication. So here's an example of what sertraline does to someone with aspergers.

• drowsiness, dizziness, tired feeling; Intense fatigue leading to sleeping 16 hours a day
• mild nausea, stomach pain, upset stomach; Vomiting, diarrhoea, pain akin to appendicitis
• dry mouth; Raging thirst, almost disabling. Pyrexia, flu-like symptoms
• changes in appetite or weight; Anorexia, but usually down to the extreme nausea/vomiting
• sleep problems (insomnia) Serious, lucid dreams, the worst nightmares imaginable
• decreased sex drive, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm removal of the only remaining stress relieving measure available.

I volunteer one night a week for a local aspergers support group and the above list is fairly typical. Drug reactions is something support workers are rapidly becoming acutely aware of.

But yeah, in the bigger scheme of things, spending months, or years of your life in a permanent state of muscle spasms, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, dizziness to the point you can't stand up and drowsiness to the point you cannot function on a day to day basis isn't that crippling, is it?

There's a lot more to aspergers than simply being a bit weird and antisocial.

[227bhp]

Some people aren't understanding there are different levels of Aspergers.

There are different kinds of anti-depressants too though...

[fbc]

227bhp said:

Some people aren't understanding there are different levels of Aspergers.

It's a very common misconception - and not necessarily their fault. The label is applied in a black and white manner, much like most mental and psychological conditions, such an application doesn't apply to these types of conditions as it does with physical conditions. Additionally, as with most mental conditions and illnesses, there's a general lack of understanding and appreciation of them (how many times have you heard somebody who's just neat as being described, either by others or themselves, as having OCD? it's far, far from the truth).

Ultimately that labelling, over-simplification, and generalisation is harmful all around as it prevents a greater understanding that would benefit everybody, not just those who suffer these conditions.

[227bhp]

fbc said:

227bhp said:

If you genuinely have been then yes, but I don't think there is a way to be sure you have is there?

That's where having a thorough, professional assessment and diagnosis from an experienced specialist in the field comes in, rather than relying on internet tests.

227bhp said:

I don't know your personal circumstances or tale and I genuinely do remain open minded, but in a way it seems like religion. You can be in it to different depths and for different reasons or whatever you want, but when you complain about what you have or it takes its toll on others then someone will pull you up on it. DoubleSix has obviously been or seen someone on the receiving end of it hence his response.

I totally understand DoubleSix's frustrations - seeing somebody let themselves, and those who care about them, become victims without making any effort to manage it (much like a smoker with lung cancer not doing anything to minimise the harm) is hugely frustrating for me (though admittedly in the immediate period after being diagnosed I was guilty of doing just that) - perhaps even more so due to the negativity it creates around Aspergers. The condition doesn't remove responsibility, particularly as an adult, and I'm not suggesting it does.

227bhp said:

It rears its ugly head in relationships with others, if you are happy to be alone for the rest of your life then it's gonna be ok, but otherwise....

Aspergers or not, we all have to find our place of contentment and comfort, understanding your psychological and emotional needs is key to that. For me, being alone brings that. I understand and appreciate for the vast majority the opposite is true and don't get in the way of that.

DoubleSix said:

Sure, I get what you're saying. But do you get that everyone gets up in the morning and puts a mask on? Do you appreciate that in fact, most people do not want to spend 8 hours a day in an office with people they only tolerate for reasons of a practical end?

I would rather sit at home twanging my guitar than get off my arse and make small talk with a room full of strangers too! But you know what, I can't opt out of life because it's hard or exhausting - I have to get on with it.

I am yet to meet anyone with Aspergers I would call alien. Quirky? yes. A little hard to converse with? yes. But in the big scheme of things I haven't seen anything that I would consider crippling.

I totally understand that everybody wears a mask, to some extent, for some period of time. But trust me, that is not even comparable to my situation. I appreciate and accept that people can't understand that, but it doesn't make it any less true. Your experience of people with Aspergers is just that, your limited experience (and, like many conditions, there's plenty of people who believe they suffer from it and thus label themselves as such when in fact they've not been professionally diagnosed and possibly don't have it) - being on the Autism spectrum it effects sufferers to quite different extents in different ways and areas, so those you've met, and for that matter my experiences, aren't a set example of how it "typically" effects people, it doesn't work like that.

As for your perception of the effects being "crippling" - you don't know the internal struggle they could well be having and how much they're battling to cover it and not fall apart.

I also know I can't just opt out of life - that's the management I talk about, and defining your "life" as one that meets your needs without being an undue load or imposition, nor bringing upset upon others.

Edited by fbc on Sunday 19th November 20:55

Yes I largely agree, but I may have misled you when I said "It depends on whether you've been wired incorrectly or programmed incorrectly."
What I am referring to here is that if a brain has been incorrectly wired then there is little you can do, if it's been incorrectly programmed then there is and how do you know which you have?
I'm also aware that AS sufferers are more prone to depression too.
It might be better if I tell my full tale sometime, what I have observed and learned then you'll see where i'm coming from.

[fbc]

227bhp said:

Yes I largely agree, but I may have misled you when I said "It depends on whether you've been wired incorrectly or programmed incorrectly."
What I am referring to here is that if a brain has been incorrectly wired then there is little you can do, if it's been incorrectly programmed then there is and how do you know which you have?
I'm also aware that AS sufferers are more prone to depression too.
It might be better if I tell my full tale sometime, what I have observed and learned then you'll see where i'm coming from.

Nope, no misleading - understood that's what you meant. And yes, being able to recognise the difference is, I think, part of the role played by a professional during a diagnosis. In my case, my life-long battles and struggles with all those regular things we all deal with, and the feelings of being so incredibly different, of not fitting in, while those around me - my family, my parents, my friends at the time, all having been brought up in similar ways with similar values, ruled out the programming side. It's simply how I'm wired (or not wired as the case may be).

[vsonix]

DoubleSix said:

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but I’m a bit fed up with the whole aspergers dynamic right now.

Do you have it? Does anyone in your immediate family have it? If not, I don't think you have the right to be 'fed up' with the 'dynamic'.

[xjay1337]

MitchT said:

I'm a bit the same. Scored 30 on the test posted in the thread - 31 is the threshold for testing positive apparently.

I find social situations really taxing - noisy, crowded pubs, bars clubs, parties seem to drain my battery really quickly. I feel like I'm in a fog of indecipherable noise. Can't be arsed with conversation for the sake of it. On the other hand, business relationships are where I feel at home. If the "meat and potatoes" of the conversation are provided by a situation that needs discussing I'm in my element, it's when I have to pull the meat & potatoes out of thin air to facilitate conversation for purely social purposes that the cognitive overload knocks me over.

I'm 43 BTW.

Edited by MitchT on Sunday 19th November 20:46

That's pretty much exactly the same as me.
Except I don't like business relationships much either but I find building rapport with clients is easy(er).

[oldbanger]

I've been learning about brain development for courses I've done for children with developmental trauma and found that really interesting. I thought I would share

Basically, current thinking is that, from conception to about 18 months post birth, the brain grows rapidly and makes lots of new connections. This makes developmental disruptions very important e.g. those caused by malnutrition, strong hormonal imbalance or substance use during pregnancy, sudden changes in family environment, separations, violence etc. This may or may not affect autism (or combine with autism), but does contribute to a cluster of problems which have recently been called developmental trauma disorder. (note this is not autism)

At around 18 months the brain begins to undergo a period of pruning. Children with developmental traumas are more highly affected at this stage because their brain wiring/growth may not have got as far as usual so they lose relatively more. They may have specific deficits, particularly around socialisation and emotional regulation.

However, it appears that children with autism may not go through this pruning to such an extent, causing more connections between different parts of the brain than are normally seen. This then means that these kids (and subsequently adults) may have greater difficulties with things like filtering and with sensory processing, but also may have greater flexibilities in other types of cognition.

I don't believe that the science is settled by any means, with some researchers citing under connectivity rather than over, but if any of you are interested here are a couple of links

https://www.nature.com/news/microglia-the-constant...
http://www.jneurosci.org/content/24/42/9228
https://www.nature.com/news/cells-that-trim-brain-...

[anonymous-user]

I scored 27 I know I don't have Asperger's I get anxiety in social situations and I am introverted. I think it is easy to blur the lines as not everyone is extroverted as modern society seems to focus more as a positive.

I also think you can still lead a life without have to identify to a label. My next door neighbour is on the scale untested bit it obvious but a label wouldn't make a difference to his life.

[PositronicRay]

The Spruce goose said:

I scored 27 I know I don't have Asperger's I get anxiety in social situations and I am introverted. I think it is easy to blur the lines as not everyone is extroverted as modern society seems to focus more as a positive.

I also think you can still lead a life without have to identify to a label. My next door neighbour is on the scale untested bit it obvious but a label wouldn't make a difference to his life.

No labels don't help, understanding a condition, any condition, and coping mechanisms do though.

[DoubleSix]

vsonix said:

DoubleSix said:

Sorry if this comes across as harsh but I’m a bit fed up with the whole aspergers dynamic right now.

Do you have it? Does anyone in your immediate family have it? If not, I don't think you have the right to be 'fed up' with the 'dynamic'.

Maybe read the thread eh...