That was a sh*t day!
Discussion
About a month ago, my son fell whilst playing football, and tweaked his shoulder. Since then he has a lump appear around his collar bone and he expressed much discomfort – treated with brufen and paracetemol with the hope it will go down rather quickly.
But the lump did not go down and maintained the same discomfort. So after a week or so we sent him off to the GP who initially prescribed the same – after a week he reviewed as there was no change he did some blood tests, and referred us to the local hospital, and an appointment was set. I did not twig anything odd even though the appointment was set for the ENT department.
The day after the blood tests he called us, and asked my son to go in and see him to discuss the results. This was worrying obviously but I accompanied my son, and the Dr was confused as to why we were there. He explained there was a bit of a high white blood cell count but he did not want to see us, told us not to worry and just to attend the hospital where the lump could be looked at more closely.
So this ENT appointment was yesterday. We were met on time and had the initial consultation with the nurse. The Dr came in to look at the lump and said he wanted to take a sample from within it and have it analysed by the lab on site. My son was ushered into the treatment room where another Doctor took the sample from the lump. He said the results would be about an hour, so we took ourselves off for a brew and a mars bar! Morale was reasonably high – we even tackled the “Where Was I?” thread!
When we went back to ENT and sat and waited. Quite quickly we were called in – to be met with rather solemn looking consultant and two nurses. They spoke really softly and I found this rather odd and almost alarming. The doctor stated there was a problem but not to worry as it was treatable. He did say my son needed further tests as he suspected lymphoma, and he needed a Chest X Ray, more blood tests and a biopsy. He never mentioned cancer nor chemo, but stated the treatment was more than a few tablets.
I had no idea what lymphoma was but guessed it is serious. So much so, I did not know what to ask the Dr – one for not knowing what I did not know, but two, as I guessed serious did not want to alarm my son. Panic has set in big time now – but I needed to remain strong and supportive. My son looked petrified and the staff were awesome in comforting him – but their tone told me they suspected something a lot more serious than a simple lump.
Blood tests and chest x ray done very quickly. The specialist nurse who was allocated to us was exceptional – and stayed with us all the way through. We then went to get the biopsy taken which went smoothly. We were then given appointments for a CT Scan tomorrow, a PET Scan Monday and a follow up for results and treatment planning on Wednesday.
So why this post. I have to process this myself in order to help my son process this. He is understandably petrified and probably a little more aware than I am about what this is about. I have had a google about lymphoma, and wish I hadn’t – the obvious scaremongering is blatantly evident, but have found the NHS and lymphoma sites have some useful stuff.
I want to believe the tests will prove there is nothing serious going on (that is the optimist in me) but deep down I know it is going to be bad news. I have today spoken to the lymphoma support organisation who seem to offer little help – understandable because as yet, we do not know anything really.
The lump has been there for about a month. It has not grown though understandably it did appear more swollen yesterday after all the poking about. I have questions I do not want to ask.
He is only 16. He is far too young to have to deal with this, and I suspect, I am going to struggle over the next week also. What happens after that, I cannot process just now.
I know lymphoma is cancer – I understand if you are going to get cancer, and depending on which strain this turns out to be this is the one to have – but I also know my son will need so much support over the next weeks/months/years.
I have been affected by cancer before. My father died many years ago when I was really young, and I had my own scare early this year which resulted in a colonoscopy. Luckily that was clear, but in a strange way I was prepared for me to have it. This however, seeing someone so young start the worrying process is destroying me, and I cannot see the way forward. Maybe it is because we do not know yet (in fact I strongly suspect that is the main issue) and soon I can process and move forward in supporting my son which ever way it goes. I also know this is ultimately about him, and not me, my wife or other children, and we, to put it bluntly, need to get a grip and focus on where we need to, my son!
I am no author, but feel writing about stuff helps, like I find talking and chit chat helps. The intent is to use this as a form of blog – but we will see how this goes, and how my will to write stays up there!
There was a thread a while ago titled “Cancer can f
k right off”. He was absolutely right.
But the lump did not go down and maintained the same discomfort. So after a week or so we sent him off to the GP who initially prescribed the same – after a week he reviewed as there was no change he did some blood tests, and referred us to the local hospital, and an appointment was set. I did not twig anything odd even though the appointment was set for the ENT department.
The day after the blood tests he called us, and asked my son to go in and see him to discuss the results. This was worrying obviously but I accompanied my son, and the Dr was confused as to why we were there. He explained there was a bit of a high white blood cell count but he did not want to see us, told us not to worry and just to attend the hospital where the lump could be looked at more closely.
So this ENT appointment was yesterday. We were met on time and had the initial consultation with the nurse. The Dr came in to look at the lump and said he wanted to take a sample from within it and have it analysed by the lab on site. My son was ushered into the treatment room where another Doctor took the sample from the lump. He said the results would be about an hour, so we took ourselves off for a brew and a mars bar! Morale was reasonably high – we even tackled the “Where Was I?” thread!
When we went back to ENT and sat and waited. Quite quickly we were called in – to be met with rather solemn looking consultant and two nurses. They spoke really softly and I found this rather odd and almost alarming. The doctor stated there was a problem but not to worry as it was treatable. He did say my son needed further tests as he suspected lymphoma, and he needed a Chest X Ray, more blood tests and a biopsy. He never mentioned cancer nor chemo, but stated the treatment was more than a few tablets.
I had no idea what lymphoma was but guessed it is serious. So much so, I did not know what to ask the Dr – one for not knowing what I did not know, but two, as I guessed serious did not want to alarm my son. Panic has set in big time now – but I needed to remain strong and supportive. My son looked petrified and the staff were awesome in comforting him – but their tone told me they suspected something a lot more serious than a simple lump.
Blood tests and chest x ray done very quickly. The specialist nurse who was allocated to us was exceptional – and stayed with us all the way through. We then went to get the biopsy taken which went smoothly. We were then given appointments for a CT Scan tomorrow, a PET Scan Monday and a follow up for results and treatment planning on Wednesday.
So why this post. I have to process this myself in order to help my son process this. He is understandably petrified and probably a little more aware than I am about what this is about. I have had a google about lymphoma, and wish I hadn’t – the obvious scaremongering is blatantly evident, but have found the NHS and lymphoma sites have some useful stuff.
I want to believe the tests will prove there is nothing serious going on (that is the optimist in me) but deep down I know it is going to be bad news. I have today spoken to the lymphoma support organisation who seem to offer little help – understandable because as yet, we do not know anything really.
The lump has been there for about a month. It has not grown though understandably it did appear more swollen yesterday after all the poking about. I have questions I do not want to ask.
He is only 16. He is far too young to have to deal with this, and I suspect, I am going to struggle over the next week also. What happens after that, I cannot process just now.
I know lymphoma is cancer – I understand if you are going to get cancer, and depending on which strain this turns out to be this is the one to have – but I also know my son will need so much support over the next weeks/months/years.
I have been affected by cancer before. My father died many years ago when I was really young, and I had my own scare early this year which resulted in a colonoscopy. Luckily that was clear, but in a strange way I was prepared for me to have it. This however, seeing someone so young start the worrying process is destroying me, and I cannot see the way forward. Maybe it is because we do not know yet (in fact I strongly suspect that is the main issue) and soon I can process and move forward in supporting my son which ever way it goes. I also know this is ultimately about him, and not me, my wife or other children, and we, to put it bluntly, need to get a grip and focus on where we need to, my son!
I am no author, but feel writing about stuff helps, like I find talking and chit chat helps. The intent is to use this as a form of blog – but we will see how this goes, and how my will to write stays up there!
There was a thread a while ago titled “Cancer can f
k right off”. He was absolutely right.I've been where you are right now. My son was also diagnosed at 16 with a rare form of Lymphoma. Long story short is that he is now 27 and unexpectedly he was able to have a child which we didn't think was possible due to the intense treatment that he underwent. Once they have all the results they will know what Chemo regime to start him on. Make sure you have lots of support around you to support you through this process, its hard work.
Zod said:
I hope for your son and for you that he doesn't have lymphoma, but if he does, then it should be treatable.
Googling cancer, as Nick Robinson wrote in an article yesterday, will always convince you of the worst, so is best avoided.
Thank you. I have always avoided google previously for medical stuff (the Mrs has had a few snags over the last 24 months). Until now.....Googling cancer, as Nick Robinson wrote in an article yesterday, will always convince you of the worst, so is best avoided.
happychap said:
I've been where you are right now. My son was also diagnosed at 16 with a rare form of Lymphoma. Long story short is that he is now 27 and unexpectedly he was able to have a child which we didn't think was possible due to the intense treatment that he underwent. Once they have all the results they will know what Chemo regime to start him on. Make sure you have lots of support around you to support you through this process, its hard work.
Coincidence.... I was just reading about the possible fertility issues, and wondering how to approach this with a 16 yo lad. Did your son have a lot of treatment? What was the treatment or checks once it was clear? Excellent positive news though.... must make being a grandad even more special for you.
mattyn1 said:
Coincidence.... I was just reading about the possible fertility issues, and wondering how to approach this with a 16 yo lad.
Did your son have a lot of treatment? What was the treatment or checks once it was clear? Excellent positive news though.... must make being a grandad even more special for you.
I mentioned to him whilst he was in hospital having his chest drained prior to his diagnosis being confirmed that the treatment would have an impact on his fertility. He surprised me by saying he thought he would grow up and have children, this took me by surprise that he had even had this thought at such a young age. In his circumstance they advised us that due to the aggressiveness of cancer he didn’t have the option of banking any sperm prior to his treatment starting.Did your son have a lot of treatment? What was the treatment or checks once it was clear? Excellent positive news though.... must make being a grandad even more special for you.
The regime was five days of chemotherapy followed by two weeks off for his body to recoup, he had six of these cycles followed by a year of meds. Due to the incidias nature of his cancer, they said he wouldn’t be given the all clear. However he’s been clear for ten years, he has a once yearly check up.
As a parent we had to learn to accept the positive that he survived, getting the first blood test results once treatment was started was the hardest part as you just want to know that the treatment was having an effect on his tumour, thankfully it did.
Happychap
I have read some more tonight. Most it appears are treated and your own story gives a lot of hope.
My son has been in great spirits today: I have often said kids are far more resilient than we ever give them credit for. Laughing and joking at dinner like we normally do was a good thing. He has told his mother he does not really want to talk about thenpossibilities with her until he knows more. I have said we will not tell anyone outside of our home until we know more.
I walked the dog after dinner. Alone with my thoughts was difficulty. Glad it was raining as I shed a few tears. And yet when I am home, I feel stronger and feed off of his resilience. Perhaps I over think stuff, but having support is important..... I can see that.
He walked to college today rather than get the bus. He wanted time to think and took it. That impressed me. He is talking more in the last 24 hrs than he ever has I think. I feel immensely proud he is coping so well (outwardly anyway).
We have one side of the family coming this weekend pre Xmas........ then we visit the other side next weekend. I partly dread that as we are going to have to tell family and they will naturally want to ask questions.
CT scan tomorrow. That will be odd as they obvs won’t tell us anything.
I have read some more tonight. Most it appears are treated and your own story gives a lot of hope.
My son has been in great spirits today: I have often said kids are far more resilient than we ever give them credit for. Laughing and joking at dinner like we normally do was a good thing. He has told his mother he does not really want to talk about thenpossibilities with her until he knows more. I have said we will not tell anyone outside of our home until we know more.
I walked the dog after dinner. Alone with my thoughts was difficulty. Glad it was raining as I shed a few tears. And yet when I am home, I feel stronger and feed off of his resilience. Perhaps I over think stuff, but having support is important..... I can see that.
He walked to college today rather than get the bus. He wanted time to think and took it. That impressed me. He is talking more in the last 24 hrs than he ever has I think. I feel immensely proud he is coping so well (outwardly anyway).
We have one side of the family coming this weekend pre Xmas........ then we visit the other side next weekend. I partly dread that as we are going to have to tell family and they will naturally want to ask questions.
CT scan tomorrow. That will be odd as they obvs won’t tell us anything.
mattyn1 said:
Happychap
I have read some more tonight. Most it appears are treated and your own story gives a lot of hope.
My son has been in great spirits today: I have often said kids are far more resilient than we ever give them credit for. Laughing and joking at dinner like we normally do was a good thing. He has told his mother he does not really want to talk about thenpossibilities with her until he knows more. I have said we will not tell anyone outside of our home until we know more.
I walked the dog after dinner. Alone with my thoughts was difficulty. Glad it was raining as I shed a few tears. And yet when I am home, I feel stronger and feed off of his resilience. Perhaps I over think stuff, but having support is important..... I can see that.
He walked to college today rather than get the bus. He wanted time to think and took it. That impressed me. He is talking more in the last 24 hrs than he ever has I think. I feel immensely proud he is coping so well (outwardly anyway).
We have one side of the family coming this weekend pre Xmas........ then we visit the other side next weekend. I partly dread that as we are going to have to tell family and they will naturally want to ask questions.
CT scan tomorrow. That will be odd as they obvs won’t tell us anything.
As you’ve probably realised, you’ll all now be in your own little world, this is now your reality until the Dr can start to give you more information. You need to consider if keeping this from your families is the best option, either way some of your families will understand if you decide to withhold the situation and some will feel they would rather have known as soon as possible to enamble them to be available to you and your son. Youl will find the words to break this news, don’t concern yourself about protecting others and thinking you’ll spoil this time of year, I’m sure on balance they will want to be around for you.I have read some more tonight. Most it appears are treated and your own story gives a lot of hope.
My son has been in great spirits today: I have often said kids are far more resilient than we ever give them credit for. Laughing and joking at dinner like we normally do was a good thing. He has told his mother he does not really want to talk about thenpossibilities with her until he knows more. I have said we will not tell anyone outside of our home until we know more.
I walked the dog after dinner. Alone with my thoughts was difficulty. Glad it was raining as I shed a few tears. And yet when I am home, I feel stronger and feed off of his resilience. Perhaps I over think stuff, but having support is important..... I can see that.
He walked to college today rather than get the bus. He wanted time to think and took it. That impressed me. He is talking more in the last 24 hrs than he ever has I think. I feel immensely proud he is coping so well (outwardly anyway).
We have one side of the family coming this weekend pre Xmas........ then we visit the other side next weekend. I partly dread that as we are going to have to tell family and they will naturally want to ask questions.
CT scan tomorrow. That will be odd as they obvs won’t tell us anything.
i can only imagine your pain and stress just now. As Dad to a 17 year old and a 15 year old, I could only hope to be strong for either of them in the same situation.
Wishing you all the luck, support and care that you, your son and your family could possibly have. I hope posting on here helps and I am sure you will get knowledge, advice and empathy from the positive side of Pistonheads.
Wishing you all the luck, support and care that you, your son and your family could possibly have. I hope posting on here helps and I am sure you will get knowledge, advice and empathy from the positive side of Pistonheads.
happychap said:
As you’ve probably realised, you’ll all now be in your own little world, this is now your reality until the Dr can start to give you more information. You need to consider if keeping this from your families is the best option, either way some of your families will understand if you decide to withhold the situation and some will feel they would rather have known as soon as possible to enamble them to be available to you and your son. Youl will find the words to break this news, don’t concern yourself about protecting others and thinking you’ll spoil this time of year, I’m sure on balance they will want to be around for you.
I feel slightly selfish being in my little world. I am normally so pragmatic and this does feel alien to me. I hope it will become clearer after next week.As for the family - my son is scared, obviously. I really see your point but ultimately I see this battle with him in charge and us supporting. It is his decision to hold off telling family until next week. Right or wrong, I support that, and if any family members do take umbrage (and there will be one or two) then I will fight that battle for him. Family will support him and be there - but it has to be when he is ready. And I had not thought of it being at this time of year and affecting their Xmas - maybe because our Xmas is a quiet one this year - just us.
We like humour - sometimes my humour is a little left field - probably being in the forces for so many years causes that! But that rubs off on the wife and kids in a good way - it is a coping strategy that works.
Stuart70 - thank you. I thought long and hard about posting here - it does help typing stuff out.
Irdisco - thank you too.
mattyn1 said:
I feel slightly selfish being in my little world. I am normally so pragmatic and this does feel alien to me. I hope it will become clearer after next week.
As for the family - my son is scared, obviously. I really see your point but ultimately I see this battle with him in charge and us supporting. It is his decision to hold off telling family until next week. Right or wrong, I support that, and if any family members do take umbrage (and there will be one or two) then I will fight that battle for him. Family will support him and be there - but it has to be when he is ready. And I had not thought of it being at this time of year and affecting their Xmas - maybe because our Xmas is a quiet one this year - just us.
We like humour - sometimes my humour is a little left field - probably being in the forces for so many years causes that! But that rubs off on the wife and kids in a good way - it is a coping strategy that works.
Stuart70 - thank you. I thought long and hard about posting here - it does help typing stuff out.
Irdisco - thank you too.
I too am pragmatic, I found being in this situation scary as I felt I could do very little. I had no choice but to trust the Drs who had the experience and expertise in this area. Do you have any other children, if so be mindful of the impact this has on them.As for the family - my son is scared, obviously. I really see your point but ultimately I see this battle with him in charge and us supporting. It is his decision to hold off telling family until next week. Right or wrong, I support that, and if any family members do take umbrage (and there will be one or two) then I will fight that battle for him. Family will support him and be there - but it has to be when he is ready. And I had not thought of it being at this time of year and affecting their Xmas - maybe because our Xmas is a quiet one this year - just us.
We like humour - sometimes my humour is a little left field - probably being in the forces for so many years causes that! But that rubs off on the wife and kids in a good way - it is a coping strategy that works.
Stuart70 - thank you. I thought long and hard about posting here - it does help typing stuff out.
Irdisco - thank you too.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
My son was diagnosed with Lymphoma when he was 12. He turns 18 this weekend and you’d never know he was ever ill. I’m now worrying about his drinking this weekend rather than an illness!
Got his all clear this year and just can’t fault the treatment over the years. It was a massive shock and I’ve no idea how he coped and it took all I had to help him through it but we are dads, its what we do.
He was treated at Alder Hey and the facilities were simply amazing and made his treatment that little bit more manageable.
I don’t know you or anyone else on PH but if you ever need anything then please feel free to direct message me.
Best wishes.
My son was diagnosed with Lymphoma when he was 12. He turns 18 this weekend and you’d never know he was ever ill. I’m now worrying about his drinking this weekend rather than an illness!
Got his all clear this year and just can’t fault the treatment over the years. It was a massive shock and I’ve no idea how he coped and it took all I had to help him through it but we are dads, its what we do.
He was treated at Alder Hey and the facilities were simply amazing and made his treatment that little bit more manageable.
I don’t know you or anyone else on PH but if you ever need anything then please feel free to direct message me.
Best wishes.
Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 7th December 08:27
happychap said:
I too am pragmatic, I found being in this situation scary as I felt I could do very little. I had no choice but to trust the Drs who had the experience and expertise in this area. Do you have any other children, if so be mindful of the impact this has on them.
Yes - he has an older brother, and I have a daughter with my current wife. We are very mindful of the impact on them but it is a good point. The youngest (daughter) is not really aware yet of what is going on. She is 10 - mum is sitting down with here later this afternoon while i am at the CT scan.Faz50 said:
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
My son was diagnosed with Lymphoma when he was 12. He turns 18 this weekend and you’d never know he was ever ill. I’m now worrying about his drinking this weekend rather than an illness!
Got his all clear this year and just can’t fault the treatment over the years. It was a massive shock and I’ve no idea how he coped and it took all I had to help him through it but we are dads, its what we do.
He was treated at Alder Hey and the facilities were simply amazing and made his treatment that little bit more manageable.
I don’t know you or anyone else on PH but if you ever need anything then please feel free to direct message me.
Best wishes.
Its great you are worrying about drinking - seems almost normal! I am taking great hope from the numbers that are contacting me and saying it has all gone well for them. Thank you.My son was diagnosed with Lymphoma when he was 12. He turns 18 this weekend and you’d never know he was ever ill. I’m now worrying about his drinking this weekend rather than an illness!
Got his all clear this year and just can’t fault the treatment over the years. It was a massive shock and I’ve no idea how he coped and it took all I had to help him through it but we are dads, its what we do.
He was treated at Alder Hey and the facilities were simply amazing and made his treatment that little bit more manageable.
I don’t know you or anyone else on PH but if you ever need anything then please feel free to direct message me.
Best wishes.
Edited by Faz50 on Thursday 7th December 08:27
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff