How do you relax?

[Hoofy]

Du1point8 said:

I do a combination of Melatonin or Australian sleepeze and then can either go the Chamomile tea or without.

got into a routine now that I cant tell if its placebo or it actually helps, but I get upto 6-7 hours a night and happy.

According to Trust Me I'm a Doctor, the tea has no actual effect - but if it works as a placebo then I'd continue doing it. Personally, I can't stand the taste!

[AB]

Hoofy said:

olly22n said:

Hoofy said:

You definitely 100% need mindfulness. I say this because you state that your mind wanders and you can't seem to be able to control it in any way.

With mindfulness, you practice focusing on a specific task whether that is breathing or walking or focusing on a ticking clock as you calm your mind down in bed, and you learn to notice yourself having a thought and then choose to stop having that thought and bring yourself back to the present moment.

Also, learn to embrace boredom and know that sometimes doing nothing productive is good for your brain.

I run mindfulness workshops in businesses, teaching people how to quieten the internal chatter and improve their focus and concentration (and thus productivity).

If you want to chat in private, am happy to talk more and give some guidance.

Erm can we have a chat? My mind is like an unruly toddler with a hammer. I gave up on mindfulness apps, my ‘mind’ just wanted to break out. I tend to let it do it’s thing and operate in the background while it’s distracted, iyswim?

Yeah, happy to talk. Send me a PM.

The apps are great but aren't for everyone. As well as workshops I also coach people one-to-one because sometimes it's nicer to have someone to "hold your hand" as you develop your own mindfulness practice. Different people will experience things in different ways and may encounter different barriers to getting the best out of this tool.

I'll drop you a PM shortly, thanks Hoofy. Same as with Olly, my mind wanders away from the mindfulness stuff, it's amazingly stubborn and I can't imagine where it gets that from!

I used a sleep hypnosis app again last night, I had to keep trying to focus on it. Went to bed around 10, can't remember what time I drifted off but was awake from 2 until now and I've given up.

I'll go into the office with a coffee but guaranteed I'll be yawning my head off by 3pm.

[AB]

The_Doc said:

AB said:

Wife is 18 weeks pregnant .

Assuming it's your first

All your problems will go away in about.....22 weeks,

seriously, you'll be sleeping anywhere, any time, bed/couch/train/warming milk/

It's our first. I get that, which is why I think it's time I tried to do something about it sooner rather than later. Need to be pulling my weight and not a zombie come mid-afternoon.

[Nickbrapp]

AB said:

red_slr said:

My mrs is very similar.

Does not sleep more than 2 hours a night. She might drift off for an hour around 1am then something wakes her up and she is restless then till 4-5am then might get another hour. She has been like that 20 years.

She also has to have the room pitch black, not a single of light can come into the room.

She has tried everything and I am pretty sure its a chemical imbalance. She is like that in the day too, brain constantly going over things and she has OCD too, has to do things in a very specific order.

Couldn't have told my own story better myself!

There’s a good program on channel 5, it’s xalled Emon and Ruth’s key to a good nights sleep

They had a woman who had insomnia on, and they basically made her stay up till 1am and get up at 7am every day, no phones from 8pm and no tv after 10 I think. After a week of the 1-7am sleeping she was cured! Might be worth a watch

[AB]

I'll take a look but what on earth would I do between 10pm and 1am? I would need Eamon and Ruth prodding me with a stick and TV cameras stuck in my face to stop the urge to get up and do something.

I've tried going for quiet drives in the middle of the night, say for an hour at 1am, but I just end arriving home even more awake.

I've been in the office for an hour and I know 7am until 10am will be my most productive hours, then I'll be starting to get tired around the time people start asking things of me. All so frustrating.

[bobmcgod]

I worked at finding a safe space in my brain and maintaining it. There have been 3 incarnations of this space over the years. I created the first to get away from nightmares and the other two evolved naturally. The first like I said came about due to nightmares, a bald man used to chase me, if he died he reincarnated and came after me again. So I imagined myself floating on a 20' x 20' concrete square up in space, if the man appeared I would blast him away with waves of energy. Asteroids that appeared were incarnations of things going on in my head. I blasted them too. Eventually it became calm and I fell asleep. This took years of practice.

The second one just appeared and replaced the other whilst on a flight home from Dublin. I had injured my self and required surgery to my hand two days before we flew there and my now wife looked after me the whole time. From helping me shower to relaxing me when anxiety popped up in crowds. We were on a beach and I needed to maintain the calmness of the sea in order to fall asleep.

The third. Just a white circle on a black background and a foghorn noise. Maintain until asleep. I fall asleep easily, quickly and sleep well. But it has taken practice.

[Hoofy]

AB said:

Hoofy said:

olly22n said:

Hoofy said:

You definitely 100% need mindfulness. I say this because you state that your mind wanders and you can't seem to be able to control it in any way.

With mindfulness, you practice focusing on a specific task whether that is breathing or walking or focusing on a ticking clock as you calm your mind down in bed, and you learn to notice yourself having a thought and then choose to stop having that thought and bring yourself back to the present moment.

Also, learn to embrace boredom and know that sometimes doing nothing productive is good for your brain.

I run mindfulness workshops in businesses, teaching people how to quieten the internal chatter and improve their focus and concentration (and thus productivity).

If you want to chat in private, am happy to talk more and give some guidance.

Erm can we have a chat? My mind is like an unruly toddler with a hammer. I gave up on mindfulness apps, my ‘mind’ just wanted to break out. I tend to let it do it’s thing and operate in the background while it’s distracted, iyswim?

Yeah, happy to talk. Send me a PM.

The apps are great but aren't for everyone. As well as workshops I also coach people one-to-one because sometimes it's nicer to have someone to "hold your hand" as you develop your own mindfulness practice. Different people will experience things in different ways and may encounter different barriers to getting the best out of this tool.

I'll drop you a PM shortly, thanks Hoofy. Same as with Olly, my mind wanders away from the mindfulness stuff, it's amazingly stubborn and I can't imagine where it gets that from!

I used a sleep hypnosis app again last night, I had to keep trying to focus on it. Went to bed around 10, can't remember what time I drifted off but was awake from 2 until now and I've given up.

I'll go into the office with a coffee but guaranteed I'll be yawning my head off by 3pm.

It's quite common for the mind to wander and that can be off-putting. The trick to mindfulness is practising - this is why it's called a mindfulness practice rather than referring to it as something you do once like a magic pill. It's basically brain training. You have a thought, you come back to the breath. Another thought pops into your head, you come back to the breath. Repeat for the allotted time.

Through compassionate practice, you will find it easy to notice you're having a thought and choose what you want to focus on next, be it the breath, work, a book, a TV programme, a colleague, burpees, etc.

And yes, it's simple but not easy.

I train people in mindfulness with a view to getting the best out of their lives. I live inside the M25 so it is unreasonable to suggest people give up their job, friends and family, and leave the area in order to reduce stress!

[C0ffin D0dger]

AB said:

The_Doc said:

AB said:

Wife is 18 weeks pregnant .

Assuming it's your first

All your problems will go away in about.....22 weeks,

seriously, you'll be sleeping anywhere, any time, bed/couch/train/warming milk/

It's our first. I get that, which is why I think it's time I tried to do something about it sooner rather than later. Need to be pulling my weight and not a zombie come mid-afternoon.

You'll never experience true tiredness until you've got kids. I struggle to stay awake most of the time now. Watching a bit of TV in the evening is difficult, especially if I've had a glass or two of wine with dinner.

Back to the original question though, you can't beat a bit of exercise, I took up running a few years back having completed CouchTo5K and now run three times a week. Quite easy to switch off while on a run and definitely sleep well afterwards. Just don't go running too near to bedtime so that the endorphins released during exercise have had some time to subside.

[Billy.RS]

I do a combination of things to shutdown when it comes to night time/bed time but it all depends on the kind of day I've had. Exercise is a big one. My best nights sleep are always after a good workout session. If you're immobile during the day like I am (office all day) even just a brisk 30min walk can do it, if you have a dog that's easily done (although now difficult in winter)

When it comes to actually sleeping, the 'rain on a tent 2 hours' type audio sounds help me. You can listen to them on youtube, I find they're also helpful to monitor my breathing, so even if it takes me an hour to wind down, at least I got some kind of mental yoga/zen b.s done too . If I'm really struggling I just keep forcing myself to yawn, until I eventually can't stop yawning and next thing you know I'm off!

It's all about inputs and outputs, what you put in your mind is going to come out. So put something relaxing/soothing/cleansing in your mind and it should work for most. Try not to go down the escapism route if you can (Video games etc) as your mind may start to ponder on those other aspects with time.

[Ransoman]

Try warm white (amber) spectrum lighting and removing all sources of blue spectrum lighting for the last few hours before bed. This apparently helps keep your body clock in a proper rhythm. Source: documentary on BBC right now.

[Hoofy]

Billy.RS said:

Try not to go down the escapism route if you can (Video games etc) as your mind may start to ponder on those other aspects with time.

Yeah - I definitely strategise how to play a round/whatever better.

[Jiebo]

2 tablets of valerian. Give it a rest on the weekend because it can cause withdrawals and your body starts tolerating it.
Similar to a bottle of wine imo and far less damaging.

[anonymous-user]

I’m in the same situation as you. Baby number 2 on the way, own business, and pressure to properly perform. The following combo works for me.

Exercise - I do at least one long bike ride a week, if not 3 or 4 short ones. I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, and I swim. My mum used to say that if she wanted any sense out of me then she would knacker me out first. It still holds true. Each exercise session is without screens.

Drink lots of water.

Have a set routine and stick to it. Bed at same time and wake up at same time. Make a good breakfast, take time without electronics to have coffee and something to start the day off properly with.

Stop using phone after 10pm and not before 8am (I leave it charging in the kitchen and have an alarm clock).

Cut out booze during the week. Even one drink in the evening makes me apathetic the next day.

I’m quite sure that for me, it’s screen time that winds me up. So work out what pisses you off or what makes you nervous and just make a cut off point where you stop doing that.

[Defcon5]

Davie_GLA said:

Defcon5 said:

Some taurine half hour before bed might help you get to sleep

Gives you pretty amazing dreams too

Erm.... The stuff in red bull??

Yep

[FoxtrotOscar1]

This might sound daft but I dream before i go to sleep.

By that I mean I dream about my perfect house. You name it i'll try and decide on it while im lying there.

How would I build my garage? How big would it be? What doors would I put on it? How many? How many vehicles can it hold? What lights will I put in? What will the floor look like?

Cars to bikes ratio?

Right, house.... where? Frontage? Gardens? Driveway? Layout / floorplan?... you get the idea. Take it slow.


It changes most nights and i rarely get past the garage .

[The_Doc]

C0ffin D0dger said:

You'll never experience true tiredness until you've got kids.

My junior doctor years were pretty close. I used to work a 1 in 5 on call. Literally aching for the evenings when I could climb into bed and sleep. Kids however is a 1 in 1!

People, not me, have fallen asleep assisting during operations. Fallen asleep standing up holding retractor during operations. Not me. I got the train from King's Cross to Peterborough once, woke up in Edinburgh.

Night #1 on call

1. 2 recovering
2. 3 go out and get hammered with mates
3. 4 recover from night out
4. 5 play squash/footy/get drunk
5. 1 on call again

, 10yrs of this, What's insomnia?

So, OP, I would suggest: Volunteer at your local A&E....! Or: study something useful like Cantonese, you'll soon drop off, or try reading Ulysses by J. Joyce or similar, or a Stephen Fry audio book, all these are intensely soporific

Edited by The_Doc on Monday 22 October 21:30

[Hoofy]

olly22n said:

Hoofy said:

Yeah, happy to talk. Send me a PM.

The apps are great but aren't for everyone. As well as workshops I also coach people one-to-one because sometimes it's nicer to have someone to "hold your hand" as you develop your own mindfulness practice. Different people will experience things in different ways and may encounter different barriers to getting the best out of this tool.

Received - will respond. My brain also likes to procrastinate

Haha, no worries. Look forward to your reply.

[Davie_GLA]

Hoofy, sounds like you've got an opportunity here mate. PH Group Buy on Therapy??

I too don't sleep. I suffer from "i'm shattered until the moment i close my eyes then my brain decides it has the solution to world peace" syndrome.

Recently stopped drinking too as i was using that to "cure" my sleeplessness but that only let to some serious health issues and the reason i needed to stop drinking.

So, these days i am getting better but find myself now relying on over the counter sleep aid tablets that certainly aren't good long term. I need a solution.

I read an article "how soldiers fall asleep to the sound of gunfire in two minutes". All very well, but can they fall asleep in absolute, silent darkness in a perfectly temp controlled room with perfect ventilation when they have to think about what's on at work in the office and what font to use in a big presentation to finance?????? Didn't think so.

My daughter is ten years old now and displaying similar issues, not good. I NEED A HAIL MARY!

[Hoofy]

Davie_GLA said:

Hoofy, sounds like you've got an opportunity here mate. PH Group Buy on Therapy??

Haha. Well, I teach no-nonsense stuff so if people are interested...

Davie_GLA said:

I read an article "how soldiers fall asleep to the sound of gunfire in two minutes". All very well, but can they fall asleep in absolute, silent darkness in a perfectly temp controlled room with perfect ventilation when they have to think about what's on at work in the office and what font to use in a big presentation to finance?????? Didn't think so.

Haha. Brilliant.

[RobM77]

I surf or windsurf. I know that sounds bizarre, but I find if I've had a tiring week at work and I want to chill, I actually get more refreshed by doing a 'technique based sport' than I do by sitting with a drink and a book (my more conventional way of relaxing). I regularly do what I would call 'effort based sports' (running, cycling and swimming), and they're good, but don't have quite the same effect on my mental state as something like going windsurfing for a few hours. You can push it too far though; I also love motor racing, but there's so much faff loading and unloading, as well as the stress of concentrating that hard (obviously that bit depends on how fast the car you're driving is), that I don't find it as relaxing as surfing is.


On another note, I can vouch for meditation or Yoga. We have a Yoga class at work every Monday and I always feel super chilled afterwards.

Edited by RobM77 on Tuesday 23 October 13:29