How do YOU deal with stress?
Discussion
I'm starting to think I need some better strategies for dealing with stress. I have a VERY pleasant life, amazing wife, wonderful son and a job that I enjoy and which gives me a lot of freedom and variety...however the latter is starting to worry me as I'm getting very stressed with it and there are some physical/mental signs starting to show.
I work in IT and as a result there is massive potential for things going tits up - I plan well and communicate around changes and risk, however I am also my own worst critic and if something blows up that is connected or not, I feel responsible. I'm not massively well supported by the team at times due to resourcing issues so sometimes a little out on a limb.
When these times happen, I start to feel shivery, my heart races and occasionally slightly light headed - I'm thinking it may be some early sings of a panic attack. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment anyways but I'm curious to know how you guys handle stress? I don't feel like my lot in life is something that I should struggle to deal with so am wondering if it's something basic like a vitamin deficiency.
Hope to hear how you guys deal with stress and any strategies/changes you have made!
I work in IT and as a result there is massive potential for things going tits up - I plan well and communicate around changes and risk, however I am also my own worst critic and if something blows up that is connected or not, I feel responsible. I'm not massively well supported by the team at times due to resourcing issues so sometimes a little out on a limb.
When these times happen, I start to feel shivery, my heart races and occasionally slightly light headed - I'm thinking it may be some early sings of a panic attack. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment anyways but I'm curious to know how you guys handle stress? I don't feel like my lot in life is something that I should struggle to deal with so am wondering if it's something basic like a vitamin deficiency.
Hope to hear how you guys deal with stress and any strategies/changes you have made!
I too work in a high pressure environment however unlike most of my colleagues reduced to a strict 40h week once I'd become established in the organisation
Due to standard working hours including evenings and one weekend a month this means I have comfortably 1-1 1/2 days off a week to do my own thing
My thing includes cycling which I enjoy either solo or with club mates, our club is big and very sociable, or just pottering in the garden
A partner in the same industry who explicitly understands the potential workplace stresses helps too
Good luck
king awful.I am in a similar position OP. Work in Front Office IT and stress had been worse in last few years to the point I now get physical symptoms as you describe. Problem is, I enjoy my job a lot and am paid very well for the hours I do.
Definitely a good idea to make your experiences known to your GP, they can prescribe things you can take the edge off if you feel panicy, might be worth getting your blood pressure checked too as a precaution.
Definitely a good idea to make your experiences known to your GP, they can prescribe things you can take the edge off if you feel panicy, might be worth getting your blood pressure checked too as a precaution.
Gym, at least 3 times a week. It means that I get tired out properly which means I sleep better which gives me more energy. It's a virtuous circle.
Also, talking about it helps. Just getting the words out, explaining your anxieties seems to make them more resolvable (in my experience).
Also, talking about it helps. Just getting the words out, explaining your anxieties seems to make them more resolvable (in my experience).
Badly to be honest.
Never really had any stress in my life and never had any bad loss. Until two weeks ago when my beautiful wife who i have been with since a teenager (im now 40) told me she wasn’t sure if she loved me. I have 13 days of absolutely not knowing how to deal with and with no one to talk to as friends are all our friends and while there’s still a chance I don’t want to bring family into it in case we get back together and they cannot reconcile with her.
Im finding the staring at a wall hoping for a year to pass in the blink of an eye so that hopefully we will of gotten over it approach is not particularly successful.
Never really had any stress in my life and never had any bad loss. Until two weeks ago when my beautiful wife who i have been with since a teenager (im now 40) told me she wasn’t sure if she loved me. I have 13 days of absolutely not knowing how to deal with and with no one to talk to as friends are all our friends and while there’s still a chance I don’t want to bring family into it in case we get back together and they cannot reconcile with her.
Im finding the staring at a wall hoping for a year to pass in the blink of an eye so that hopefully we will of gotten over it approach is not particularly successful.
The most useful tool I have found is a worry list / mind map
Write down your worries, then the possible outcomes from each worry, and then the likelihood of each outcome.
You can usually write off most of them, and address any high risk ones.
And exercise.
I was also advised if you can fix it with money (you don't have to have the money) it's not a problem. I.e. Your health and your relationships are what's important.
Write down your worries, then the possible outcomes from each worry, and then the likelihood of each outcome.
You can usually write off most of them, and address any high risk ones.
And exercise.
I was also advised if you can fix it with money (you don't have to have the money) it's not a problem. I.e. Your health and your relationships are what's important.
I dealt with it by having a heart attack when I was 46.
I was lucky it was only a small one so it gave me the opportunity to lose weight, get fitter, eat more healthily and opt out of what was then a very stressful lifestyle and job to do something for me that was totally within my control with nobody to report too, that I could enjoy and relax a bit more with.
I am still here 20 years later, healthy and enjoying retirement.
I was lucky it was only a small one so it gave me the opportunity to lose weight, get fitter, eat more healthily and opt out of what was then a very stressful lifestyle and job to do something for me that was totally within my control with nobody to report too, that I could enjoy and relax a bit more with.
I am still here 20 years later, healthy and enjoying retirement.
Don't underestimate the benefits of fresh air and exercise.
Try to be financially secure. Have savings. Reduce outgoings. Knowing that you can walk away from your job tomorrow is a great stress reliever.
Also, you work in IT, not bomb disposal. Maybe some perspective might help? What is really the worst thing that will happen should everything go tits? You get sacked? It's (probably) not even as if you could go to jail let alone kill someone if you screw up badly (pilot, marine industry, oil&gas, medical profession etc. etc.)
Try to be financially secure. Have savings. Reduce outgoings. Knowing that you can walk away from your job tomorrow is a great stress reliever.
Also, you work in IT, not bomb disposal. Maybe some perspective might help? What is really the worst thing that will happen should everything go tits? You get sacked? It's (probably) not even as if you could go to jail let alone kill someone if you screw up badly (pilot, marine industry, oil&gas, medical profession etc. etc.)
CubanPete said:
The most useful tool I have found is a worry list / mind map
Write down your worries, then the possible outcomes from each worry, and then the likelihood of each outcome.
You can usually write off most of them, and address any high risk ones.
Can you give me an example?Write down your worries, then the possible outcomes from each worry, and then the likelihood of each outcome.
You can usually write off most of them, and address any high risk ones.
Listing/mapping is good. A plan, even a rough one, takes the edge off anything.
In addition it's VERY important to understand why our bodies react the way they do. You're essentially preparing for a physical conflict that never happens. Knowing this helps with coming up with alternatives.
My two go-tos are riding (motorbikes) and fighting. Motorbike stuff is great. One of the bikes I have is an older, cheaper bike that I can park anywhere so it's ok for the work car park. No matter what sort of day I've had, walking out to the bike in the eveniong and riding home recentres me in a way nothing else does.
Fighting is a personal one. I train for defence not sport, but the drills and physical demands are still considerable. Even if I'm tired, ill, have an injury or just don't fancy it, my brain's response to it is "well, these are the circumstances you're being attacked under so suck it up".
Just my 2p worth, but I really value both of these things.
In addition it's VERY important to understand why our bodies react the way they do. You're essentially preparing for a physical conflict that never happens. Knowing this helps with coming up with alternatives.
My two go-tos are riding (motorbikes) and fighting. Motorbike stuff is great. One of the bikes I have is an older, cheaper bike that I can park anywhere so it's ok for the work car park. No matter what sort of day I've had, walking out to the bike in the eveniong and riding home recentres me in a way nothing else does.
Fighting is a personal one. I train for defence not sport, but the drills and physical demands are still considerable. Even if I'm tired, ill, have an injury or just don't fancy it, my brain's response to it is "well, these are the circumstances you're being attacked under so suck it up".
Just my 2p worth, but I really value both of these things.
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