Discussion
I've suffered with it on and off since I was a kid... it can be very difficult to control and I tend to worry and obsess over things trivial to others.
I got a promotion at the start of the year and the added managerial responsibilites and pressure aren't helping my anxiety at all, been having night time panic attacks the last couple of months which I haven't had since a bad break up about 3 years ago.
I try to throw myself into my hobbies as a distraction, and it's very much up and down. My wife is a psychologist and has confirmed informally that I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
I got a promotion at the start of the year and the added managerial responsibilites and pressure aren't helping my anxiety at all, been having night time panic attacks the last couple of months which I haven't had since a bad break up about 3 years ago.
I try to throw myself into my hobbies as a distraction, and it's very much up and down. My wife is a psychologist and has confirmed informally that I suffer with Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
I suffer from this too. Over think everything and get terrible fight or flight symptoms.
Every thing in my stomach turns to water, get nauseous, shakes the lot.
Virtually stopped me from trying to find a new partner when my marriage ended. Dating was nigh on impossible.
If I've not seen my girlfriend for a week, it almost feels like a new date until I actually see her.
As a freelancer, I've turned down good work because of worry. It's maddening as I'm good at what I do but my mind/body lets me down.
I have had counseling twice and one round of anti depressants. Still no real joy in solving the problem.
Good luck OP.
Every thing in my stomach turns to water, get nauseous, shakes the lot.
Virtually stopped me from trying to find a new partner when my marriage ended. Dating was nigh on impossible.
If I've not seen my girlfriend for a week, it almost feels like a new date until I actually see her.
As a freelancer, I've turned down good work because of worry. It's maddening as I'm good at what I do but my mind/body lets me down.
I have had counseling twice and one round of anti depressants. Still no real joy in solving the problem.
Good luck OP.
More common than you think.
At the age of 65 I took retirement from work. A really good employer, enjoyed the work, work colleagues, the people I met (most of them anyway!), etc and agreed that while I was moving 300 mile away I would continue working part time, mainly to complete schemes I had been involved in. Yes i used to get stressed out occasionally but overall, it as the best job I'd had since the age of 17.
Two weeks in, I was getting emails about the jobs in hand, getting no responses or stupid responses from the LA I was supposed to be getting approvals from, trying to complete a scheme that I knew wasn't going to be built, and was slowly feeling "snowed under". I had a week holiday and came back, sat down in front of the computer on the Sunday evening just have a look at the emails I was going to have to deal with and just felt a "dark, heavy cloud" fall down on me, weighing me down. I'll be honest, it was just one email amongst the list that finally did it.
No matter what I did I couldn't shake it off, and by the Wednesday, had decided to pack up. Felt very guilty about dropping a good employer (and friend) in it but there was no way I could go on.
I researched the problem, to me, it wasn't depression, but anxiety. Pleased to be free of the work shackles now even though there are financial implications. Could I go back now, probably, although it would have to be back in the office environment rather than a spare bedroom.
At the age of 65 I took retirement from work. A really good employer, enjoyed the work, work colleagues, the people I met (most of them anyway!), etc and agreed that while I was moving 300 mile away I would continue working part time, mainly to complete schemes I had been involved in. Yes i used to get stressed out occasionally but overall, it as the best job I'd had since the age of 17.
Two weeks in, I was getting emails about the jobs in hand, getting no responses or stupid responses from the LA I was supposed to be getting approvals from, trying to complete a scheme that I knew wasn't going to be built, and was slowly feeling "snowed under". I had a week holiday and came back, sat down in front of the computer on the Sunday evening just have a look at the emails I was going to have to deal with and just felt a "dark, heavy cloud" fall down on me, weighing me down. I'll be honest, it was just one email amongst the list that finally did it.
No matter what I did I couldn't shake it off, and by the Wednesday, had decided to pack up. Felt very guilty about dropping a good employer (and friend) in it but there was no way I could go on.
I researched the problem, to me, it wasn't depression, but anxiety. Pleased to be free of the work shackles now even though there are financial implications. Could I go back now, probably, although it would have to be back in the office environment rather than a spare bedroom.
Glad I stumbled across this thread.
Everything that was mentioned here resonates deeply which me.
I've been experiencing anxiety for most of my life, with periods where it also triggers short term depression. I'm a naturally negative thinker, a pessimist and with anxiety it just makes things worse.
I hate the overthinking which robs me of living my life normally. Some days I end up spending most days on the sofa or in bed feeling down because of over thinking when in the "real world" I should be able to just forget about it.
I suppose a traumatic past doesn't help. When I was a young kid I was bullied constantly and was even admitted to A&E once due to bullying. Back then there wasn't much protection against bullying and being a lad was just told to "man up". I must say that has left a deep mental scar.
I've tried anti-depressants for a few years but realised they just didn't work for me. Nowadays I mostly manage my anxiety by healthy diet, cutting down on drinks and smoking and exercise. However there are still blips which seems worse during winter.
A recent social event is an example. I've never really commit to due to social anxiety however decided to give it a go as it was organised by someone I am close to at work. I was worrying about it every day as the activity was to play darts which is something I'm very bad at. There was alcohol involved and throughout the evening the banter begun which I was the target of the jokes due to my poor performance. The banter got pretty serious towards the end of the night when the alcohol flowed. At one point I just wanted tell them to f* off and walk out however this would indeed cause awkwardness so I tried to restrain my feelings. I was glad that I didn't walk out though as on reflection the next day it was just banter and nothing untoward was meant.
If only I can train my mind to think positively and delete or manage the negative thoughts I would've had a better time that evening.
I've been referred to short CBT course via NHS and I find that really helps. I'm on the lookup for some good audiobooks for managing anxiety and would appreciate any recommendations.
Everything that was mentioned here resonates deeply which me.
I've been experiencing anxiety for most of my life, with periods where it also triggers short term depression. I'm a naturally negative thinker, a pessimist and with anxiety it just makes things worse.
I hate the overthinking which robs me of living my life normally. Some days I end up spending most days on the sofa or in bed feeling down because of over thinking when in the "real world" I should be able to just forget about it.
I suppose a traumatic past doesn't help. When I was a young kid I was bullied constantly and was even admitted to A&E once due to bullying. Back then there wasn't much protection against bullying and being a lad was just told to "man up". I must say that has left a deep mental scar.
I've tried anti-depressants for a few years but realised they just didn't work for me. Nowadays I mostly manage my anxiety by healthy diet, cutting down on drinks and smoking and exercise. However there are still blips which seems worse during winter.
A recent social event is an example. I've never really commit to due to social anxiety however decided to give it a go as it was organised by someone I am close to at work. I was worrying about it every day as the activity was to play darts which is something I'm very bad at. There was alcohol involved and throughout the evening the banter begun which I was the target of the jokes due to my poor performance. The banter got pretty serious towards the end of the night when the alcohol flowed. At one point I just wanted tell them to f* off and walk out however this would indeed cause awkwardness so I tried to restrain my feelings. I was glad that I didn't walk out though as on reflection the next day it was just banter and nothing untoward was meant.
If only I can train my mind to think positively and delete or manage the negative thoughts I would've had a better time that evening.
I've been referred to short CBT course via NHS and I find that really helps. I'm on the lookup for some good audiobooks for managing anxiety and would appreciate any recommendations.
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 22 September 13:18
anxious_ant said:
I've been referred to short CBT course via NHS and I find that really helps. I'm on the lookup for some good audiobooks for managing anxiety and would appreciate any recommendations.
Care to elaborate on which CBT? Is it self-guided? Keen to try it but unsure where to look, GP wasn’t that useful.ReallyReallyGood said:
Care to elaborate on which CBT? Is it self-guided? Keen to try it but unsure where to look, GP wasn’t that useful.
It started of as part of my ADD assessment to which I mentioned my anxiety. After a long while I finally got referred to an online CBT course. Because of my ADD referral I've got one or two sessions which a therapist. I believe it was GAD that I was "diagnosed" with.To me it's much better than medication. I've been looking at face-to-face private CBT courses however don't think I can afford the cost and time commitment for now.
That's why I'm looking at audiobooks which fits in which my long commute.
anxious_ant said:
Glad I stumbled across this thread.
Everything that was mentioned here resonates deeply which me.
I've been experiencing anxiety for most of my life, with periods where it also triggers short term depression. I'm a naturally negative thinker, a pessimist and with anxiety it just makes things worse.
I hate the overthinking which robs me of living my life normally. Some days I end up spending most days on the sofa or in bed feeling down because of over thinking when in the "real world" I should be able to just forget about it.
I suppose a traumatic past doesn't help. When I was a young kid I was bullied constantly and was even admitted to A&E once due to bullying. Back then there wasn't much protection against bullying and being a lad was just told to "man up". I must say that has left a deep mental scar.
I've tried anti-depressants for a few years but realised they just didn't work for me. Nowadays I mostly manage my anxiety by healthy diet, cutting down on drinks and smoking and exercise. However there are still blips which seems worse during winter.
A recent social event is an example. I've never really commit to due to social anxiety however decided to give it a go as it was organised by someone I am close to at work. I was worrying about it every day as the activity was to play darts which is something I'm very bad at. There was alcohol involved and throughout the evening the banter begun which I was the target of the jokes due to my poor performance. The banter got pretty serious towards the end of the night when the alcohol flowed. At one point I just wanted tell them to f* off and walk out however this would indeed cause awkwardness so I tried to restrain my feelings. I was glad that I didn't walk out though as on reflection the next day it was just banter and nothing untoward was meant.
If only I can train my mind to think positively and delete or manage the negative thoughts I would've had a better time that evening.
I've been referred to short CBT course via NHS and I find that really helps. I'm on the lookup for some good audiobooks for managing anxiety and would appreciate any recommendations.
Overthinking can be a real bind. Have you tried mindfulness? (And by try, I don't mean a handful of times but enough to retrain your brain.)Everything that was mentioned here resonates deeply which me.
I've been experiencing anxiety for most of my life, with periods where it also triggers short term depression. I'm a naturally negative thinker, a pessimist and with anxiety it just makes things worse.
I hate the overthinking which robs me of living my life normally. Some days I end up spending most days on the sofa or in bed feeling down because of over thinking when in the "real world" I should be able to just forget about it.
I suppose a traumatic past doesn't help. When I was a young kid I was bullied constantly and was even admitted to A&E once due to bullying. Back then there wasn't much protection against bullying and being a lad was just told to "man up". I must say that has left a deep mental scar.
I've tried anti-depressants for a few years but realised they just didn't work for me. Nowadays I mostly manage my anxiety by healthy diet, cutting down on drinks and smoking and exercise. However there are still blips which seems worse during winter.
A recent social event is an example. I've never really commit to due to social anxiety however decided to give it a go as it was organised by someone I am close to at work. I was worrying about it every day as the activity was to play darts which is something I'm very bad at. There was alcohol involved and throughout the evening the banter begun which I was the target of the jokes due to my poor performance. The banter got pretty serious towards the end of the night when the alcohol flowed. At one point I just wanted tell them to f* off and walk out however this would indeed cause awkwardness so I tried to restrain my feelings. I was glad that I didn't walk out though as on reflection the next day it was just banter and nothing untoward was meant.
If only I can train my mind to think positively and delete or manage the negative thoughts I would've had a better time that evening.
I've been referred to short CBT course via NHS and I find that really helps. I'm on the lookup for some good audiobooks for managing anxiety and would appreciate any recommendations.
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 22 September 13:18
Edited by Hoofy on Sunday 22 September 21:39
I had a dreadful period of anxiety and panic attacks, truly horrible. I was dealing with a lot internally, I’m lucky my Dr is a friend and he suggested mindfulness and it has helped me big time. I read finding peace in a frantic world and Headspace by Andy Puddicombe and found them extremely helpful and I still meditate now. It’s sounds like hogwash but it truly isn’t.
I also quit alcohol a couple of years ago and it was a major contributor without me realising as it’s a depressant. Getting out for a walk everyday helped me immensely too.
Good luck op as it’s not nice I ended up in hospital twice convinced I was having a heart attack but it was just stress. It’s amazing how it affects you.
I also take CBD oil now and I have no idea if it’s just a placebo but I think it helps.
I also quit alcohol a couple of years ago and it was a major contributor without me realising as it’s a depressant. Getting out for a walk everyday helped me immensely too.
Good luck op as it’s not nice I ended up in hospital twice convinced I was having a heart attack but it was just stress. It’s amazing how it affects you.
I also take CBD oil now and I have no idea if it’s just a placebo but I think it helps.
Hoofy said:
Overthinking can be a real bind. Have you tried mindfulness? (I by try, I don't mean a handful of times but enough to retrain your brain.)
I’ve tried mindfulness a few times but really need the discipline to get the full benefits. I find self help CBT books quite good so I’m looking for the right one for me.
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 22 September 15:27
anxious_ant said:
Hoofy said:
Overthinking can be a real bind. Have you tried mindfulness? (And by try, I don't mean a handful of times but enough to retrain your brain.)
I’ve tried mindfulness a few times but really need the discipline to get the full benefits. I find self help CBT books quite good so I’m looking for the right one for me.
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 22 September 15:27
I teach people how to really make it a part of what you do... like brushing teeth.
Of course, brushing your teeth twice a day doesn't guarantee that you won't get an abscess.
Happy to chat over the phone about things.
Yes, I get anxiety quite badly. I empathise/identify with a lot of what's on this thread.
With me, it's predominantly health anxiety. I will take the mildest of symptoms and turn it into a terminal illness. I've predicted my own death hundreds of times over the last five years. How often have I been right? Never!
I'm the worst doctor ever.
I've been having therapy and like many others here have said, a lot of it stems from childhood. I had emotionally absent parents and was physically abused by my first teacher in primary school. It led to me having the underlying feeling that I am not good enough, that there is something wrong with me, and that my likeability/loveability is dependent on me being 'perfect'. This feeling is embedded deep in the non-conscious part of my brain (the limbic system?) so it drives behaviour without reasoning or language, making it quite difficult to get a grip on.
The journey, for me, is in feeling compassion for the confused, abandoned little boy that I was. Because when I was little, I didn't have any; I just thought I was a bad person because of how I was treated. Bringing the stuff from the non-conscious mind up and out, challenging it and in some cases accepting certain facts about myself, my mother and others.
Being gay exacerbated a lot of this. In effect, I grew up hiding a big secret, one that I thought would literally kill me if it was revealed. I lived in terror of anyone finding out. People around me were homophobic, including my parents and my friends. I kept it to myself for a long time. It became another thing that I felt was 'wrong' with me. Even after I came out at 19, I remained extremely wary. A lot of gay people are like this; we live in a state of permanent fight-or-flight, because we become conditioned to the idea of the world, our peers and even our families being unwelcoming and even dangerous.
I can be self-destructive (over-eating, sex addiction in the past) and am generally an anxious person. I 'predict' catastrophe (which never occurs); anything from planes crashing to my husband dying to me getting sick. My self-esteem is absolutely rock-bottom and I don't trust my own judgement. I am usually distant with people but can also be needy, and can get attached very easily; to people, animals, things. I will go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation and I get all-over sweats if I'm ever criticised.
Things I've found helpful include exercise (I found it so transformative I ended up career-changing to become a personal trainer), eating more fruit and veg, and daily meditation. I like Headspace too, @Joscal. I find driving therapeutic (hence being on PH). I love being near nature, especially trees and large expanses of water. Sitting by the side of a loch in western or Highland Scotland is pretty much my perfect spot. Video games; Assassin's Creed or Grand Theft Auto are basically my therapy sometimes.
I've never been on anti-depressants; whenever I have a chat with my doc about it we always end up deciding to try therapy and stuff like diet and exercise.
With me, it's predominantly health anxiety. I will take the mildest of symptoms and turn it into a terminal illness. I've predicted my own death hundreds of times over the last five years. How often have I been right? Never!
I'm the worst doctor ever.I've been having therapy and like many others here have said, a lot of it stems from childhood. I had emotionally absent parents and was physically abused by my first teacher in primary school. It led to me having the underlying feeling that I am not good enough, that there is something wrong with me, and that my likeability/loveability is dependent on me being 'perfect'. This feeling is embedded deep in the non-conscious part of my brain (the limbic system?) so it drives behaviour without reasoning or language, making it quite difficult to get a grip on.
The journey, for me, is in feeling compassion for the confused, abandoned little boy that I was. Because when I was little, I didn't have any; I just thought I was a bad person because of how I was treated. Bringing the stuff from the non-conscious mind up and out, challenging it and in some cases accepting certain facts about myself, my mother and others.
Being gay exacerbated a lot of this. In effect, I grew up hiding a big secret, one that I thought would literally kill me if it was revealed. I lived in terror of anyone finding out. People around me were homophobic, including my parents and my friends. I kept it to myself for a long time. It became another thing that I felt was 'wrong' with me. Even after I came out at 19, I remained extremely wary. A lot of gay people are like this; we live in a state of permanent fight-or-flight, because we become conditioned to the idea of the world, our peers and even our families being unwelcoming and even dangerous.
I can be self-destructive (over-eating, sex addiction in the past) and am generally an anxious person. I 'predict' catastrophe (which never occurs); anything from planes crashing to my husband dying to me getting sick. My self-esteem is absolutely rock-bottom and I don't trust my own judgement. I am usually distant with people but can also be needy, and can get attached very easily; to people, animals, things. I will go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation and I get all-over sweats if I'm ever criticised.
Things I've found helpful include exercise (I found it so transformative I ended up career-changing to become a personal trainer), eating more fruit and veg, and daily meditation. I like Headspace too, @Joscal. I find driving therapeutic (hence being on PH). I love being near nature, especially trees and large expanses of water. Sitting by the side of a loch in western or Highland Scotland is pretty much my perfect spot. Video games; Assassin's Creed or Grand Theft Auto are basically my therapy sometimes.
I've never been on anti-depressants; whenever I have a chat with my doc about it we always end up deciding to try therapy and stuff like diet and exercise.
I get anxiety due to a stressful job.
Dread of what is waiting for me on the commute to work, constant dull headache, tightness around the chest, slight nausea.
I'm otherwise really healthy and my doctor said it's a fight or flight response and my body is generating adrenaline pretty much all day.
The symptoms vanish completely when I have a week or so off work on holiday.
I'm interested in the magnesium supplements mentioned earlier.
Has anyone got any recommendations of brands to try, and does this really work? I understand some of the tablets are enormous.
Dread of what is waiting for me on the commute to work, constant dull headache, tightness around the chest, slight nausea.
I'm otherwise really healthy and my doctor said it's a fight or flight response and my body is generating adrenaline pretty much all day.
The symptoms vanish completely when I have a week or so off work on holiday.
I'm interested in the magnesium supplements mentioned earlier.
Has anyone got any recommendations of brands to try, and does this really work? I understand some of the tablets are enormous.
KomodoWagon said:
I can be self-destructive (over-eating, sex addiction in the past) and am generally an anxious person. I 'predict' catastrophe (which never occurs); anything from planes crashing to my husband dying to me getting sick. My self-esteem is absolutely rock-bottom and I don't trust my own judgement. I am usually distant with people but can also be needy, and can get attached very easily; to people, animals, things. I will go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation and I get all-over sweats if I'm ever criticised.
Catastrophising and anxiety are linked. Pracitising mindfulness meditation can help because you are firstly trained to notice that you're having a thought and can then choose to stop thinking the thought. I notice you said you meditate and use Headspace but it's such a broad app that you could be using any routine within it. I would try using it daily rather than as a remedy (if you don't already do this); this is when you get the best benefits from mindfulness as you're training your brain to act in a different way.
It's like brushing your teeth - you don't wait until you have an abscess.
OP, having decided to pass on a trip to the Philippines and stay at home, do you then not get anxiety that you may have made the wrong call, and something dreadful might happen whilst you're here, that you would have missed had you gone?
If not, why not? Just trying to understand how it works. I would have thought that having a chance to go somewhere, you are then stuck between a rock and a hard place, anxious about going and staying?
I don't get anxiety but like everyone else, I worry about certain things. I'm not keen on public speaking but have to do it a couple of times a year. So I tell myself that if I make an excuse and get someone else to cover for me, then disaster might strike the place where I am when I should have been somewhere else doing my public speaking!
If not, why not? Just trying to understand how it works. I would have thought that having a chance to go somewhere, you are then stuck between a rock and a hard place, anxious about going and staying?
I don't get anxiety but like everyone else, I worry about certain things. I'm not keen on public speaking but have to do it a couple of times a year. So I tell myself that if I make an excuse and get someone else to cover for me, then disaster might strike the place where I am when I should have been somewhere else doing my public speaking!
I've suffered in the past, more manageable now but I still have a tendency to catastrophise and be negative.
My tips:
Quit smoking
Quit caffeine (this really helped)
Take up or continue exercise
Take alcohol carefully - a small amount can actually help, but a lot isn't good
Face the fear - avoidance just makes it worse. However, take it in manageable chunks. For example, I had a big thing about flying. By breaking it down and taking one step at a time - travelling to the airport, going through security, being in departures, getting on the plane, flight itself, it really helped take something big and make it smaller.
Have something as a distraction - brain games, sport, computers, whatever.
Rationalise as much as possible.
My tips:
Quit smoking
Quit caffeine (this really helped)
Take up or continue exercise
Take alcohol carefully - a small amount can actually help, but a lot isn't good
Face the fear - avoidance just makes it worse. However, take it in manageable chunks. For example, I had a big thing about flying. By breaking it down and taking one step at a time - travelling to the airport, going through security, being in departures, getting on the plane, flight itself, it really helped take something big and make it smaller.
Have something as a distraction - brain games, sport, computers, whatever.
Rationalise as much as possible.
zygalski said:
I've just ordered Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Williams & Penman.
It's supposed to be very good.
It’s brilliant, make sure you listen to the audio that comes with it. The body scan is particularly good, I still do it nearly everyday. Good luck! It's supposed to be very good.
zygalski said:
I've just ordered Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Williams & Penman.
It's supposed to be very good.
It's supposed to be very good.
I recommend this book by the grandfather of modern mindfulness: https://amzn.to/2lCuJIx
A couple of other books to consider:
https://amzn.to/2lfdpZS
https://amzn.to/2l5TAE2
https://amzn.to/2niLlW6
They may touch on Buddhism but just take inspiration; you don't have to give up your Huracan just yet.
20 years ago or thereabouts one of my best mates died on his test ride of a motorbike just after passing his test.
I was fine for a while, then started getting stressed, anxious and panic attacks for a brief spell. Bereavement stress I guess, but whatever the event this booked helped:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Help-Your-Nerves-ove...
This particular book, or its predecessor seemed to really help with the whole thing and to the point the stress, anxiety, chest pains, panic attacks ceased. Worth a shot, and its a quick read, or at least I was encouraged by the progress to read it quickly.
Best of luck with your journey.
I was fine for a while, then started getting stressed, anxious and panic attacks for a brief spell. Bereavement stress I guess, but whatever the event this booked helped:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Help-Your-Nerves-ove...
This particular book, or its predecessor seemed to really help with the whole thing and to the point the stress, anxiety, chest pains, panic attacks ceased. Worth a shot, and its a quick read, or at least I was encouraged by the progress to read it quickly.
Best of luck with your journey.
Hoofy said:
I tried listening to an audiobook version of the Ekhaat Tolle, I tried a few times and never managed to finish it. I found the concept interesting, but fell asleep to it too much. Do you rate the book?Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff