Friends Daughter Issues
Discussion
Please move if necessary but wasnt sure where else to post this. one things for sure it is affecting my mental health!
a good friend of mine has a daughter lets just say she is between 8 and 11 and in the early years she would happily play with me and it was genuine fun albeit with dolls and toy horses etc. The last year or two though she has turned into a real little madam devil child who whilst in front of her parents is sometimes quite cheeky and back chatty but if we are in the next room away from them she is a mare and always wants to get her own way when all we are supposed to be doing is playing-not my idea of fun anymore (I am sure others here have been in similar situations and will know how it makes you feel). She has developed this nasty streak when she is wrong of spending far too much time BS-ing her way out of it to make it look like she was right all along or just wanting to have the last word. I tell you its exhausting trying to bite your tongue. when we meet up and the adults are all trying to chat she will butt in and babble just to be heard and to interrupt. ive now developed a real dislike for her and I dont like myself for hearing myself say that.
I am no child phsycologist but now when I visit its becoming a chore to play with her. All she wants to do is say this is wrong or that is wrong or we dont need this toy or we dont need that toy etc etc. its no fun at all being constantly "bossed" about by this horrid little girl. truth is I dont know how to handle it and right now the only way of avoiding going round there is to simply make up reasons for not going round for weeks on end. She is spoilt rotten and doesnt even appreciate it or she does for all of 10 seconds. She throws up umpteen tantrums when its announced its time to go bed and that leads to lots of shouting and screaming and threats etc between the daughter and the parents. You just want the ground to swallow you up.
I know this is pistonheads and so I expect some replies will be the usual low ballers which we can safely ignore but from anyone else who can offer some real advice it would be appreciated. Do you tell the parents that you dont want to play with their child or just keep her arms length from now on and point blank refuse to play next time I do visit? Its not how it should be but thats the situation I find my self in and hate it. she is an only child and is otherwise the perfect student at school apparently. Do I need a chill pill and suck it up until she grows up a bit?
a good friend of mine has a daughter lets just say she is between 8 and 11 and in the early years she would happily play with me and it was genuine fun albeit with dolls and toy horses etc. The last year or two though she has turned into a real little madam devil child who whilst in front of her parents is sometimes quite cheeky and back chatty but if we are in the next room away from them she is a mare and always wants to get her own way when all we are supposed to be doing is playing-not my idea of fun anymore (I am sure others here have been in similar situations and will know how it makes you feel). She has developed this nasty streak when she is wrong of spending far too much time BS-ing her way out of it to make it look like she was right all along or just wanting to have the last word. I tell you its exhausting trying to bite your tongue. when we meet up and the adults are all trying to chat she will butt in and babble just to be heard and to interrupt. ive now developed a real dislike for her and I dont like myself for hearing myself say that.
I am no child phsycologist but now when I visit its becoming a chore to play with her. All she wants to do is say this is wrong or that is wrong or we dont need this toy or we dont need that toy etc etc. its no fun at all being constantly "bossed" about by this horrid little girl. truth is I dont know how to handle it and right now the only way of avoiding going round there is to simply make up reasons for not going round for weeks on end. She is spoilt rotten and doesnt even appreciate it or she does for all of 10 seconds. She throws up umpteen tantrums when its announced its time to go bed and that leads to lots of shouting and screaming and threats etc between the daughter and the parents. You just want the ground to swallow you up.
I know this is pistonheads and so I expect some replies will be the usual low ballers which we can safely ignore but from anyone else who can offer some real advice it would be appreciated. Do you tell the parents that you dont want to play with their child or just keep her arms length from now on and point blank refuse to play next time I do visit? Its not how it should be but thats the situation I find my self in and hate it. she is an only child and is otherwise the perfect student at school apparently. Do I need a chill pill and suck it up until she grows up a bit?
Set some boundaries. When she says "you are doing it wrong" tell her "No". Keep a consistent line.
This will go one of two ways. Either she, and her "parents" will see the light, and she will start being nicer, or she will scream and wail, and her parents will throw you out. Either way, problem solved
This will go one of two ways. Either she, and her "parents" will see the light, and she will start being nicer, or she will scream and wail, and her parents will throw you out. Either way, problem solved
I get on well with my mates kids but no chance would i pop round to play with them. That's weird.
Just tell her what needs to happen and don't deviate. She'll either do it or won't. Best case she stops being annoying, worst case you can stop going round.
I'm hoping English is your second language too.
Just tell her what needs to happen and don't deviate. She'll either do it or won't. Best case she stops being annoying, worst case you can stop going round.
I'm hoping English is your second language too.
ATG said:
Why bite your tongue? You're the adult, she's the child. You set the ground rules.
Have to agree. Stop letting her wrap you around her little finger. Gradually and consistently pay her less and less attention as she misbehaves to the point where you completely ignore her. Continue to ignore her until she changes her attitude. Be consistent with your responses.Maybe suggest to your friends that you'd like to spend some time with them when the creature isn't around and make sure the creature hears this. Try to make these meet ups without her sound more special than they are in order to encourage better behaviour from said creature.
At least, that's what I would try but no doubt an actual parent will say why the above is futile. Best take advice from them, eh.
I've got kids of my own. I'd think it pretty strange if any of my mates had been off playing with my daughter in another room back when she was that age, and I certainly wouldn't be doing it with anyone else's daughter either!
I'd just tell the parents she was getting to an age where it felt inappropriate and then step away from the brat.
I'd just tell the parents she was getting to an age where it felt inappropriate and then step away from the brat.
ToothbrushMan said:
Please move if necessary but wasnt sure where else to post this. one things for sure it is affecting my mental health!
a good friend of mine has a daughter lets just say she is between 8 and 11 and in the early years she would happily play with me and it was genuine fun albeit with dolls and toy horses etc. The last year or two though she has turned into a real little madam devil child who whilst in front of her parents is sometimes quite cheeky and back chatty but if we are in the next room away from them she is a mare and always wants to get her own way when all we are supposed to be doing is playing-not my idea of fun anymore (I am sure others here have been in similar situations and will know how it makes you feel). She has developed this nasty streak when she is wrong of spending far too much time BS-ing her way out of it to make it look like she was right all along or just wanting to have the last word. I tell you its exhausting trying to bite your tongue. when we meet up and the adults are all trying to chat she will butt in and babble just to be heard and to interrupt. ive now developed a real dislike for her and I dont like myself for hearing myself say that.
I am no child phsycologist but now when I visit its becoming a chore to play with her. All she wants to do is say this is wrong or that is wrong or we dont need this toy or we dont need that toy etc etc. its no fun at all being constantly "bossed" about by this horrid little girl. truth is I dont know how to handle it and right now the only way of avoiding going round there is to simply make up reasons for not going round for weeks on end. She is spoilt rotten and doesnt even appreciate it or she does for all of 10 seconds. She throws up umpteen tantrums when its announced its time to go bed and that leads to lots of shouting and screaming and threats etc between the daughter and the parents. You just want the ground to swallow you up.
I know this is pistonheads and so I expect some replies will be the usual low ballers which we can safely ignore but from anyone else who can offer some real advice it would be appreciated. Do you tell the parents that you dont want to play with their child or just keep her arms length from now on and point blank refuse to play next time I do visit? Its not how it should be but thats the situation I find my self in and hate it. she is an only child and is otherwise the perfect student at school apparently. Do I need a chill pill and suck it up until she grows up a bit?
How old are you, OP? Assuming 30s, but struggling to work it out.a good friend of mine has a daughter lets just say she is between 8 and 11 and in the early years she would happily play with me and it was genuine fun albeit with dolls and toy horses etc. The last year or two though she has turned into a real little madam devil child who whilst in front of her parents is sometimes quite cheeky and back chatty but if we are in the next room away from them she is a mare and always wants to get her own way when all we are supposed to be doing is playing-not my idea of fun anymore (I am sure others here have been in similar situations and will know how it makes you feel). She has developed this nasty streak when she is wrong of spending far too much time BS-ing her way out of it to make it look like she was right all along or just wanting to have the last word. I tell you its exhausting trying to bite your tongue. when we meet up and the adults are all trying to chat she will butt in and babble just to be heard and to interrupt. ive now developed a real dislike for her and I dont like myself for hearing myself say that.
I am no child phsycologist but now when I visit its becoming a chore to play with her. All she wants to do is say this is wrong or that is wrong or we dont need this toy or we dont need that toy etc etc. its no fun at all being constantly "bossed" about by this horrid little girl. truth is I dont know how to handle it and right now the only way of avoiding going round there is to simply make up reasons for not going round for weeks on end. She is spoilt rotten and doesnt even appreciate it or she does for all of 10 seconds. She throws up umpteen tantrums when its announced its time to go bed and that leads to lots of shouting and screaming and threats etc between the daughter and the parents. You just want the ground to swallow you up.
I know this is pistonheads and so I expect some replies will be the usual low ballers which we can safely ignore but from anyone else who can offer some real advice it would be appreciated. Do you tell the parents that you dont want to play with their child or just keep her arms length from now on and point blank refuse to play next time I do visit? Its not how it should be but thats the situation I find my self in and hate it. she is an only child and is otherwise the perfect student at school apparently. Do I need a chill pill and suck it up until she grows up a bit?
Echo other advice: don’t ever be alone with her. If she continues as she is, as in acting differently when away from others and it’s just the two of you, it’s probably not far away from her inventing something if you upset her (innocently).
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff