Mental Health after a car crash
Discussion
Hi All,
Earlier this year, I was involved in a significant car crash. First and foremost, I was uninjured (Which is a testament, in part, to the car and down to luck/fate, which I am grateful for). The crash was significant and at the national speed limit (I'm not going to disclose the full details). Speed and wrecklessness wasn't a factor (no tailgating or overtaking dangerously etc), weather partly. Though there was nothing immediately obviously wrong in my driving, a crash (and your first one) is still a learning curve with some good life lessons.
Anyway, the car is all good, repaired, checked over, MOT'd etc. I've driven it and it drives better (in part to some mods) but I have the following feelings:
1) Driving feels incredibly lonely, which creates some fear
2) I always have a feeling of impending danger or failure, in part due to:
a) Noises on the road that trigger reminders of the crash, e.g. similar noises, that can be due to the road surface, rumble strips etc.
b) Any warning sign on the car easily strikes fear. There aren't any yet but I imagine scenarios, e.g. low engine oil (though this won't cause a crash, etc).
Though I am little rusty on driving as the car was in the garage for a while, I am driving every week and a mix of roads, decent distances, and in terms of driving ability, nothing has really changed (apart from being even more cautious as driving is a leap of faith).
So has anyone experienced any mental health symptoms from a car crash? Just to add, I am in London and will do some local IAM courses (as I don't feel like driving alone a long distance), and then some of the more well known independent advanced courses (which i wanted to do before, but lockdown prevented). I am interested in people's experiences as I don't want to go down the GP route and then risk surrendering my license (though I am not a complete wreck and still driving well).
Thanks!
Earlier this year, I was involved in a significant car crash. First and foremost, I was uninjured (Which is a testament, in part, to the car and down to luck/fate, which I am grateful for). The crash was significant and at the national speed limit (I'm not going to disclose the full details). Speed and wrecklessness wasn't a factor (no tailgating or overtaking dangerously etc), weather partly. Though there was nothing immediately obviously wrong in my driving, a crash (and your first one) is still a learning curve with some good life lessons.
Anyway, the car is all good, repaired, checked over, MOT'd etc. I've driven it and it drives better (in part to some mods) but I have the following feelings:
1) Driving feels incredibly lonely, which creates some fear
2) I always have a feeling of impending danger or failure, in part due to:
a) Noises on the road that trigger reminders of the crash, e.g. similar noises, that can be due to the road surface, rumble strips etc.
b) Any warning sign on the car easily strikes fear. There aren't any yet but I imagine scenarios, e.g. low engine oil (though this won't cause a crash, etc).
Though I am little rusty on driving as the car was in the garage for a while, I am driving every week and a mix of roads, decent distances, and in terms of driving ability, nothing has really changed (apart from being even more cautious as driving is a leap of faith).
So has anyone experienced any mental health symptoms from a car crash? Just to add, I am in London and will do some local IAM courses (as I don't feel like driving alone a long distance), and then some of the more well known independent advanced courses (which i wanted to do before, but lockdown prevented). I am interested in people's experiences as I don't want to go down the GP route and then risk surrendering my license (though I am not a complete wreck and still driving well).
Thanks!
You’ve had a knock in confidence but to my non expert eyes it seems you’re doing grand - getting out in the car again is a big step. It’s only natural that things will remind you of the accident. My other half had one when someone pulled out from a side road without looking and I can tell she is still hyper aware of any cars that appear from side roads, for example.
I’m sure the courses will help you reinforce your good habits and maybe you even find some more. My instinct is that a GP might be able to put you on to some groups who have had similar experiences to chat it through with? It doesn’t sound like you’re in any remote danger of losing your licence because of this...
I’ve had a shunt too and I can still feel every movement I made to avoid it in slow motion, and the other car hitting the side of mine.
Thinking about things that might help... how about a music playlist or audiobook for driving? Are you still in the car you crashed, would you fancy a change?
I’m sure the courses will help you reinforce your good habits and maybe you even find some more. My instinct is that a GP might be able to put you on to some groups who have had similar experiences to chat it through with? It doesn’t sound like you’re in any remote danger of losing your licence because of this...
I’ve had a shunt too and I can still feel every movement I made to avoid it in slow motion, and the other car hitting the side of mine.
Thinking about things that might help... how about a music playlist or audiobook for driving? Are you still in the car you crashed, would you fancy a change?
I can't offer any professional help but similar happened to me. Got the car back after wanting it written off and kinda lost confidence in it.
This improved when I changed the car so maybe a change would help you?
Also when I passed my test in 1991 my instructor who was big in IAM wanted me to do it. I didn't until about mid 2000s. I'm far from a perfect driver and do the odd stupid thing but it has mostly improved my quality of driving.
You learn to control the car better, observe your environment, read the road ahead, drive safer, look out for others etc. It's putting you in control rather than the fear of what might happen. Also you get discount on insurance etc too. All bonuses
This improved when I changed the car so maybe a change would help you?
Also when I passed my test in 1991 my instructor who was big in IAM wanted me to do it. I didn't until about mid 2000s. I'm far from a perfect driver and do the odd stupid thing but it has mostly improved my quality of driving.
You learn to control the car better, observe your environment, read the road ahead, drive safer, look out for others etc. It's putting you in control rather than the fear of what might happen. Also you get discount on insurance etc too. All bonuses
I forgot to add, i did do one advanced course, which was good, and taught me useful tips, one of which was in play and contributed to the relatively positive outcome of the crash. I guess with a performance car, it's good to do courses and new roads and of course, learning never stops.
I did think about writing the car off and getting another (I had a choice), but I decided against that, partly due to the whole lockdown situation, and then the added headache of mods (nothing major though). While it will be a fresh slate, it wouldn't fix everything completely e.g. the panic of hearing noises reminding me of the crash. What I did do instead is get the car fully checked, new oils, new brakes (it needed it), new tires, etc. And it drives well. There isn't actually anything wrong with the car, and I guess I am just bonding again and trust is an issue (trust that the work done on the car is top, trust in the car, etc). While the car got checked over, some other items needed replacing but that's just part and parcel of performance car ownership (or car ownership in general) but having new parts has made me more confident and trusting.
I have spoken to quite a few people who had serious accidents and repaired the car,and they've been driving happily since. The car isn't Cat C/S (or whatever the designation is now), which is good too. Most of the damage was just cosmetic anyway, not chassis or the frame.
I am all for support groups, counselling etc, medicine no. I doubt i need any drugs anyway, as I sleep fine and cope at work fine too (I am in a skilled and, at the moment, fast paced office job).
And yeah I always drive with music. Having a passenger (an advanced instructor) will help a lot, as I feel motorways are intimidating as they are so wide and lots of space. This is an obvous must for me to do, so just looking into this, but want to decide on the GP route first.
I did think about writing the car off and getting another (I had a choice), but I decided against that, partly due to the whole lockdown situation, and then the added headache of mods (nothing major though). While it will be a fresh slate, it wouldn't fix everything completely e.g. the panic of hearing noises reminding me of the crash. What I did do instead is get the car fully checked, new oils, new brakes (it needed it), new tires, etc. And it drives well. There isn't actually anything wrong with the car, and I guess I am just bonding again and trust is an issue (trust that the work done on the car is top, trust in the car, etc). While the car got checked over, some other items needed replacing but that's just part and parcel of performance car ownership (or car ownership in general) but having new parts has made me more confident and trusting.
I have spoken to quite a few people who had serious accidents and repaired the car,and they've been driving happily since. The car isn't Cat C/S (or whatever the designation is now), which is good too. Most of the damage was just cosmetic anyway, not chassis or the frame.
I am all for support groups, counselling etc, medicine no. I doubt i need any drugs anyway, as I sleep fine and cope at work fine too (I am in a skilled and, at the moment, fast paced office job).
And yeah I always drive with music. Having a passenger (an advanced instructor) will help a lot, as I feel motorways are intimidating as they are so wide and lots of space. This is an obvous must for me to do, so just looking into this, but want to decide on the GP route first.
This sounds like it would fall within the broad diagnostic realm of PTSD. You've essentially become hypervigilant which is a rational response to your experience.
PTSD is a fashionable diagnosis at the moment but there are effective treatments and in London there will be a wealth of choice. NHS will be limited and waiting list ++++
FWIW what you are doing already should see you through this and time is what's required to process the memories and settle your vigilance
You sound very self aware and thoughtful so if you wanted to proceed more quickly without professional involvement, what might help is
- proper detailed debrief of events - someone you trust who will let you talk about the whole day in question and its effects and only interrupt to draw out more relevant detail.
- a mate accompanying you on journeys to back up the advanced driving skills and 'reality check' your thoughts about risk
- it might even be worth recording some of the triggering stimuli and expose yourself to them in a controlled manner to extinguish your response
- Outside of the specific measures aimed at reducing anxiety and vigilance, it might be worth exploring meditation/mindfulness. This could help give you an overall calmer approach to dealing with thoughts and feelings that might be a little out of balance.
If things are getting worse don't avoid seeking help. It is very unlikely you could lose your license as at the moment you probably don't have any mental disorder meeting threshold for referral.
Wishing you well
PTSD is a fashionable diagnosis at the moment but there are effective treatments and in London there will be a wealth of choice. NHS will be limited and waiting list ++++
FWIW what you are doing already should see you through this and time is what's required to process the memories and settle your vigilance
You sound very self aware and thoughtful so if you wanted to proceed more quickly without professional involvement, what might help is
- proper detailed debrief of events - someone you trust who will let you talk about the whole day in question and its effects and only interrupt to draw out more relevant detail.
- a mate accompanying you on journeys to back up the advanced driving skills and 'reality check' your thoughts about risk
- it might even be worth recording some of the triggering stimuli and expose yourself to them in a controlled manner to extinguish your response
- Outside of the specific measures aimed at reducing anxiety and vigilance, it might be worth exploring meditation/mindfulness. This could help give you an overall calmer approach to dealing with thoughts and feelings that might be a little out of balance.
If things are getting worse don't avoid seeking help. It is very unlikely you could lose your license as at the moment you probably don't have any mental disorder meeting threshold for referral.
Wishing you well
Countdown said:
Are you able to say what the cause of the crash was?
I guess what I'm thinking is that you need to address the cause of the crash so that you're confident it won't happen again....
Sorry to hear this OP. Hopefully the collected wisdom of PH can get you back to a pre-accident state of calm, but it if you could excuse my bluntness your somewhat vague description of the accident doesn't really help people give an objective opinion. Unless it is subjudice can you not explain in simple terms what happened? Apologies in advance if doing that is traumatic for you. I guess what I'm thinking is that you need to address the cause of the crash so that you're confident it won't happen again....
Was the incident attributable to:
1) Your driving?
2) Somebody else's driving?
3) Mechanical failure?
4) Something else?
I'd be wanting to rationalise which of those it was.
If it is (1) then remember that this is PH, we're all Powerfully Built Company Directors who could show Ayrton Senna a clean pair of tailpipes around the Nurburgring, aren't we?
Well, not really, we're all fallible, and if we make a mistake in any aspect of life it's just best to address it head on (no pun intended), deconstruct why it happened, learn from it and move on. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
Edited by PurpleTurtle on Thursday 20th May 18:55
bad accident - resulted in suspension of drivers licence for 6 months....
due to blood clot removal from head. anyways licence back and was not that great about getting behind the wheel again, called a couple of driving instructors and went out for a two hour drive. back in the seat so to speak. It takes time.
Your suffering from PTSD, it comes in many flavours and strengths,it takes time to get back to where you were
due to blood clot removal from head. anyways licence back and was not that great about getting behind the wheel again, called a couple of driving instructors and went out for a two hour drive. back in the seat so to speak. It takes time.
Your suffering from PTSD, it comes in many flavours and strengths,it takes time to get back to where you were
The danger is suppressing things to ‘get on’ then them rearing their head later, usually at emotionally difficult times, which just compounds the mental health problems.
It’s likely all too easy to do so, and what leads to stuff like panic attacks and ptsd etc.
I’d give it 6 months then go let a counsellor do their job on you.
If they’re happy then so will you be.
If you’re not dealing with it properly they’ll dig it up.
It’s likely all too easy to do so, and what leads to stuff like panic attacks and ptsd etc.
I’d give it 6 months then go let a counsellor do their job on you.
If they’re happy then so will you be.
If you’re not dealing with it properly they’ll dig it up.
Even though my driving was sensible, looking back, there were factors such as the weather and the time (early morning, meaning really poor visibility). Journey was essential but the driving course I did, did teach me to always consider the reason for your journey, and while regret isn't a big feeling for me compared to the feelings I mentioned in my opening post, there were/are alternatives to the journey. Hitting something in the road was/is a potential factor as there was debris on the road, but not from my car (car debris, but of different paint, interestingly enough).
However, my paranoia has led me to change a bunch of un-needed things just to get me settled, e.g. tires etc. I had a few critical items that were in the early stages of needing changes like wheel bearings, which I got done and I actually liked that as it gave me the impression of a clean slate (most people would hate more bills!). I guess deciding to change things to have a fresh start is part of a normal response? Maybe to break the association with the car and the accident. I guess it is normal to see the car as "tainted" following a crash, but the damage was cosmetic, as mentioned.
There was a factor of my life (or at least physical wellbeing), being at significant risk, given the circumstances of the accident, even though the impact was not severe (no whiplash or anything, no pain).
I drove the car a few days after getting it back, alone, down a busy A road not far from the scene of the crash. Car was spotless. So I know I have the capability, mentally, I am just paranoid and some drives with an advanced instructor will help. A solo drive is/was productive as I could get in the zone and on this occasion, I was pretty relaxed and quickly got settled in.
I lean towards the instructor route as he or she can talk about what the car is doing and the road surfaces influence on that, to help me settle. I guess it kinda feels a bit like the first time I ever drove alone (Which I can't even remember now!).
Another factor was I was out in the car recently and it was raining heavily, which was another trigger. Car was on point, no issues there, and I was sensible (I was on small, slow roads) but kept to an appropriate pace (if it was a motorway I would probably do 60mph). I've driven in the rain many times but it was intimidating. I guess one good thing to do is a course on a wet skidpan to build confidence there an some familiarity. I mean I am in a modern car with ABS, traction control etc and I drive with all of that on.
Skyedriver -I don't think I am at a point where I would never drive again, it's more about getting to a point where I can relax and just enjoy driving for what it is.
The car is good and it got a full check over (including every safety-critical item, such as steering, suspension, brakes etc), I just need to work on myself which wil take longer.
However, my paranoia has led me to change a bunch of un-needed things just to get me settled, e.g. tires etc. I had a few critical items that were in the early stages of needing changes like wheel bearings, which I got done and I actually liked that as it gave me the impression of a clean slate (most people would hate more bills!). I guess deciding to change things to have a fresh start is part of a normal response? Maybe to break the association with the car and the accident. I guess it is normal to see the car as "tainted" following a crash, but the damage was cosmetic, as mentioned.
There was a factor of my life (or at least physical wellbeing), being at significant risk, given the circumstances of the accident, even though the impact was not severe (no whiplash or anything, no pain).
I drove the car a few days after getting it back, alone, down a busy A road not far from the scene of the crash. Car was spotless. So I know I have the capability, mentally, I am just paranoid and some drives with an advanced instructor will help. A solo drive is/was productive as I could get in the zone and on this occasion, I was pretty relaxed and quickly got settled in.
I lean towards the instructor route as he or she can talk about what the car is doing and the road surfaces influence on that, to help me settle. I guess it kinda feels a bit like the first time I ever drove alone (Which I can't even remember now!).
Another factor was I was out in the car recently and it was raining heavily, which was another trigger. Car was on point, no issues there, and I was sensible (I was on small, slow roads) but kept to an appropriate pace (if it was a motorway I would probably do 60mph). I've driven in the rain many times but it was intimidating. I guess one good thing to do is a course on a wet skidpan to build confidence there an some familiarity. I mean I am in a modern car with ABS, traction control etc and I drive with all of that on.
Skyedriver -I don't think I am at a point where I would never drive again, it's more about getting to a point where I can relax and just enjoy driving for what it is.
The car is good and it got a full check over (including every safety-critical item, such as steering, suspension, brakes etc), I just need to work on myself which wil take longer.
Edited by Z064life on Thursday 20th May 19:13
Edited by Z064life on Thursday 20th May 19:15
It’s not your fault. s
t happens. The best drivers in the world can come unstuck.
No matter how much you do now may have any bearing on anything in the future.
It’s all a mental distraction from dealing with what did happen, and you’re not wanting to deal with.
That is that you could have died and you were caught out in a way that seems unavoidable or inexplicable.
Nothing you do will make it not happen in the future, that is just down to the arbitrary and chaotic nature of existence.
I gnashed my teeth over my crash (was crashed into), what if I’d done XYZ etc.
But for all I know around the next bend a truck might have wiped me out altogether.
The stark realisation of your mortality and realisation you have pretty much no say on when it can come calling, is what is probably preoccupying you.
As said. Just crack on. Then whether you feel ok or not, go see a counsellor in 6 months and let them decide how you’re getting on.
Nothing wrong with that. It’s life, it’s natural, it’s not your fault, you’re not weak, people are there to make it easier.
t happens. The best drivers in the world can come unstuck.No matter how much you do now may have any bearing on anything in the future.
It’s all a mental distraction from dealing with what did happen, and you’re not wanting to deal with.
That is that you could have died and you were caught out in a way that seems unavoidable or inexplicable.
Nothing you do will make it not happen in the future, that is just down to the arbitrary and chaotic nature of existence.
I gnashed my teeth over my crash (was crashed into), what if I’d done XYZ etc.
But for all I know around the next bend a truck might have wiped me out altogether.
The stark realisation of your mortality and realisation you have pretty much no say on when it can come calling, is what is probably preoccupying you.
As said. Just crack on. Then whether you feel ok or not, go see a counsellor in 6 months and let them decide how you’re getting on.
Nothing wrong with that. It’s life, it’s natural, it’s not your fault, you’re not weak, people are there to make it easier.
Many good points raised here. Driving is as much about the mental as the physical control of a car.
There used to be a road safety slogan that read 'expect the unexpected' and I think that's a good thing to remember.
In recent years I've learnt to be calmer behind the wheel rather than getting road rage at stupid things. If someone has road rage at me and toot and flash etc I don't escalate it by reacting to it. I apologise if I'm in the wrong and ignore them if not. Much simpler.
Also I leave a little earlier so I'm not rushing. I do press on but if there's no deadline then I stick cruise at 60 on the motorway for example. You usually arrive at the exit the same time as the speeders tailgating 2 inches from each other, slamming on and off their brakes.
In fact at busy times the slow lane usually moves the fastest and you quite often make progress out past the fast lane queue and out onto open road.
I'm a great believer in the lost art of overtaking which shockingly few drivers do these days. They'd rather bunch up behind a tractor for miles than pass even though it's safe to do so. The danger of this is it causes others to take chances out of frustration. Setting up a car to overtake is a skill too but much less stressful because you're thinking, planning and executing good practice. Anyway good luck in your recovery and go for some scenic drives to lift the soul.
There used to be a road safety slogan that read 'expect the unexpected' and I think that's a good thing to remember.
In recent years I've learnt to be calmer behind the wheel rather than getting road rage at stupid things. If someone has road rage at me and toot and flash etc I don't escalate it by reacting to it. I apologise if I'm in the wrong and ignore them if not. Much simpler.
Also I leave a little earlier so I'm not rushing. I do press on but if there's no deadline then I stick cruise at 60 on the motorway for example. You usually arrive at the exit the same time as the speeders tailgating 2 inches from each other, slamming on and off their brakes.
In fact at busy times the slow lane usually moves the fastest and you quite often make progress out past the fast lane queue and out onto open road.
I'm a great believer in the lost art of overtaking which shockingly few drivers do these days. They'd rather bunch up behind a tractor for miles than pass even though it's safe to do so. The danger of this is it causes others to take chances out of frustration. Setting up a car to overtake is a skill too but much less stressful because you're thinking, planning and executing good practice. Anyway good luck in your recovery and go for some scenic drives to lift the soul.
I totaled my car with my daughter in it last year at the end of my road. It shook me up really badly. I drive through the same junction daily and it's taken a while and I always think about it when I drive there but I take it slow and it does get easier.
As others have said you've had a massive shock, your brain is working it through and that's normal. Don't let the overthinking distract you and take your time, it will get better.
As others have said you've had a massive shock, your brain is working it through and that's normal. Don't let the overthinking distract you and take your time, it will get better.
As a couple of others have said, I think you’ve got PTSD.
I’ve had it for 35 yrs after being knocked off my bicycle by a car that didn’t stop when coming out of a side road (across the bonnet, up the windscreen, and off the roof of a mk 2 Escort)
Any vehicle I see approaching a side road jnc that seems to be going quick and it makes me nervous they won’t stop, irrespective of whether I’m driving or cycling.
Just something I have to get on with, though I suspect if it happened now it’d be recognised for ptsd and could prob get some sort of counselling.
So maybe look to get some for yourself.
I’ve had it for 35 yrs after being knocked off my bicycle by a car that didn’t stop when coming out of a side road (across the bonnet, up the windscreen, and off the roof of a mk 2 Escort)
Any vehicle I see approaching a side road jnc that seems to be going quick and it makes me nervous they won’t stop, irrespective of whether I’m driving or cycling.
Just something I have to get on with, though I suspect if it happened now it’d be recognised for ptsd and could prob get some sort of counselling.
So maybe look to get some for yourself.
Even the slightest of bumps can cause MH issues. When I was a police officer I always used to tell people who'd been in an RTC to keep an eye on themselves and have a chat with the Dr if they were still thinking about things a week or so after the event. I met people who gave up driving after a 20mph shunt, and people who couldn't care less about a 90mph impact that tore a car in half. We're all affected differently by events. Talking on here is a good plan. Almost everyone on here has had a bump in everything from Mclaren F1's through to Pug 205's and full blown race cars.
I'd say you've done everything right. You've gone over it in your head with how you could have had handled things differently, you're talking about how it's impacted on you etc. All signs of a good driver. Education and safety devices may make you feel more comfortable. Grippier tyres, brake upgrades and depending on the vehicle something like a roll bar (I drive an MX5) may help.
Good luck with it all, and there's bound to be someone local who would be happy to meet up for a pint and a chat if you're struggling.
I'd say you've done everything right. You've gone over it in your head with how you could have had handled things differently, you're talking about how it's impacted on you etc. All signs of a good driver. Education and safety devices may make you feel more comfortable. Grippier tyres, brake upgrades and depending on the vehicle something like a roll bar (I drive an MX5) may help.
Good luck with it all, and there's bound to be someone local who would be happy to meet up for a pint and a chat if you're struggling.
Z064life said:
Skyedriver -I don't think I am at a point where I would never drive again, it's more about getting to a point where I can relax and just enjoy driving for what it is.
Edited by Z064life on Thursday 20th May 19:13
Edited by Z064life on Thursday 20th May 19:15
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