Dealing with the menopause- help
Discussion
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Scabutz said:
Will read with interest. My wife is 44, not sure if that's early for menopause or start of. I have noticed last couple of years the PMS is worse, and general she can't seem to handle any kind of stress at all anymore. Sex drive has basically evaporated.
As with the OP any attempt to discuss it is met with negativity.
Not to be uncaring and just to add some humour but I understand why married men of a certain age get a younger bird and f
k off.!
Adjusted that for you.seems this is why dating apps are full of over 50's.As with the OP any attempt to discuss it is met with negativity.
Not to be uncaring and just to add some humour but I understand why married men of a certain age get a younger bird and f
k off.!On a serious note, wife 47, hot sweats, irregular periods and two weeks no libido at all followed by two weeks sex all the time.
During the two week zero libido times she is also irritable and just a bit flat mood wise in general, as mentioned by others, any attempt to discuss is met with vitriol and dismissal or some attack on my character out of nowhere.
Been with her since I was 15 (now 46) and love her dearly, but f
k me it's testing of one's patience. Edited by Vincent-Vega on Sunday 15th May 19:55
Vincent-Vega said:
Scabutz said:
Will read with interest. My wife is 44, not sure if that's early for menopause or start of. I have noticed last couple of years the PMS is worse, and general she can't seem to handle any kind of stress at all anymore. Sex drive has basically evaporated.
As with the OP any attempt to discuss it is met with negativity.
Not to be uncaring and just to add some humour but I understand why married men of a certain age get a younger bird and fk off.!
Adjusted that for you.seems this is why dating apps are full of over 50's.As with the OP any attempt to discuss it is met with negativity.
Not to be uncaring and just to add some humour but I understand why married men of a certain age get a younger bird and f
k off.!On a serious note, wife 47, hot sweats, irregular periods and two weeks no libido at all followed by two weeks sex all the time.
During the two week zero libido times she is also irritable and just a bit flat mood wise in general, as mentioned by others, any attempt to discuss is met with vitriol and dismissal or some attack on my character out of nowhere.
Been with her since I was 15 (now 46) and love her dearly, but f
k me it's testing of one's patience. Edited by Vincent-Vega on Sunday 15th May 19:55
It goes eventually. I've seen marriages fall apart because things have been said that can't be unsaid. A neighbour's menopausal wife was taken into a mental hospital after confessing to having it off with five neighbours (but not me for some reason, so I was the only one he could turn to for help). Three neighbours split although one pair came back together again. The blokes were very upset with me and refused to talk. I expect I was mentioned a few time when the pre-separation rows were happening.
It's a pain for all concerned. I worked long hours when my wife was afflicted and was spared a lot of the aggro. She fell out with a woman who lived locally, whom I never liked, so there was a bonus.
I am now on testosterone suppressants which means I get hot flushes, sometimes four or five times a day. At night they can be so intense that I have to get up. I've stood at the door to the garden at 2 am in March, just to cool down. I end up getting back into bed and shivering. It's not pleasant. I wish I had known how irritating they were when my wife was suffering.
HRT worked and quickly for my wife but the doctor reckoned that, due to her medical history, she should only have low dosage and be weaned off ASAP.
I had it easy as I went off to work and avoided the fallout.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
You can have some of mine. The worst thing is that I'm grumpy at times for no reason. No patience (as some of my posts show no doubt), and have problems concentrating.
Still, got radio-therapy scheduled for the summer so, with any luck, I'll be off them later this year. Off tomorrow to be tattooed with a target in my nethers.
Vincent-Vega said:
Been with her since I was 15 (now 46) and love her dearly, but fk me it's testing of one's patience.
I bet she wishes it was just testing for her patience.k me it's testing of one's patience. Edited by Vincent-Vega on Sunday 15th May 19:55
I suspect that most women going through the menopause understate or hide their symptoms, as they are often very upsetting (particularly the psychological ones - the physical ones are bad enough). That's probably partly why they 'hit back' when their husband/partner suggests that they might need help.
To provide some context, entering the menopause is one of only two times that I have seriously considered suicide. The other time was when I was going through a divorce many years ago. Other than how the menopause made me feel, I had no real problems in my life at that point.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
My wife (55 now) has been taking the above plus other supplements (rosehip, evening primrose, glucosamine, odourless garlic, cod liver oil) for years and has gone through "the change" relatively easily, apart from hot flushes sometimes. It's quite a difference from before when I could tell almost instantly when she was starting grumpy bh week!anonymous said:
[redacted]
Just be careful with the D - I think the recommendation is to take it October-March. I take it, and was taking it last summer as well, when I had a blood test (just one of those general health check ones) which showed my Vit D level was right at the top, nearly too high. I think there are negative repercussions if you take too much.This is an interesting read.
Particularly to hear both sides.
OH has been alternating between rage and melancholy for about 18 months now. She admits to being a control freak, but is fed up of making all the decisions(!). So I have to make the decisions, but has to be the outcome that she wants... Difficult to tell if sleeping is a problem, as we have an insomniac 4.5 year old. They both are very determined and specific, so most of my home life is spent peacekeeping between the two of them and I rarely get a second on my own.
Darkest just before dawn and all that!
Particularly to hear both sides.
OH has been alternating between rage and melancholy for about 18 months now. She admits to being a control freak, but is fed up of making all the decisions(!). So I have to make the decisions, but has to be the outcome that she wants... Difficult to tell if sleeping is a problem, as we have an insomniac 4.5 year old. They both are very determined and specific, so most of my home life is spent peacekeeping between the two of them and I rarely get a second on my own.
Darkest just before dawn and all that!
I have found HRT to be absolutely transformative, to the extent that I've told my gynae that I'll be taking it forever. It is certainly worth discussing it with your GP, assuming that your wife acknowledges that there's a problem. I realise that in some cases there are contraindications, but understanding of the issues surrounding menopause and methods of treatment is progressing all the time.
www.menopausematters.co.uk is an excellent resource.
www.menopausematters.co.uk is an excellent resource.
My wife had the hysterectomy in her early 40's and is now on Everol 25 patches, she has refused to come of them and at 53 is doing well.
I remember years ago and before the hysterectomy my wife had to have hormone injections!!! if you ever get to that be prepared to sleep with one eye open, proper scared me for the best part of a year and she's only 5 foot, most days she wanted to hang me from the ceiling by my b***s. Fond memories!
I remember years ago and before the hysterectomy my wife had to have hormone injections!!! if you ever get to that be prepared to sleep with one eye open, proper scared me for the best part of a year and she's only 5 foot, most days she wanted to hang me from the ceiling by my b***s. Fond memories!
popeyewhite said:
Ozone said:
HRT seems to be the de-facto answer.
It's not. Research also shows in the majority of cases HRT has no impact on depression, suggesting there are other reasons for some ladies feeling down. With the shortages, OH had to swap to a different HRT (she uses the gel) - Wholly s
t. Carnage ensued. Back to the original brand and back to the normal levels of 4/10 Mental
I know several people who are using vitex (chasteberry) as a supplement and have had some quite dramatic changes in symptoms. They are using it for hormone imbalance during their normal cycle, perimenopausal symptoms and to help with menopause symptoms. The benefits are well documented and is a very popular supplement, especially in the states. No harm in giving it a try. My other half gets hers on Amazon
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vitex#womens-...
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https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vitex#womens-...
Deal: Vitex Chasteberry Supplement 600mg (90 Capsules, 3-Month Supply) Agnus Castus for Women's Hormone Support*, Menopause Support*, Menstrual Support*, Hormonal Acne* - Formulated Gluten-Free, Vegetarian https://amzn.eu/d/77NUf8C
Directed here by my own other thread. Mrs geeks has been going through everything described here by both the sufferers from menopause and those along for the ride. She has coped rather commendably in my opinion but there are days when I make sure I am between her and the sharp objects in the house, usually when my quite amenable along for the ride wife turns into a devil eyed fire breathing hell beast because the dog has sneezed. She has had little to no support from her GP despite trying over and over again to get them to listen, we have now moved and her new GP doesn't seem particularly interested in HRT either, I hate that I can't do anything to help her, she has been in tears over this many, many times, she says she feels like she is living in someone elses body these days and this is from a woman who doesn't do tears and owing to a number of issues from birth has toughed it out in her own body just fine until now.
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