Dealing with the menopause- help

[williamp]

GP can be useless, but you could be lucky and have a menopause clinic nsar you

https://bwc.nhs.uk/menopause-clinics?PC=EMMX01
https://www.menopausesociety.co.uk
https://www.womens-health-concern.org


Who may be able to refer you back to the GP for proper meds.

Good luck!

[RC1807]

Mrs RC is going through the menopause. It's been ongoing for about 16 months or so, now.

I've not experienced any mood swings, thankfully. Her biggest complaint has been the hot flushes.
She kicks her part of the duvet off at least 4 times each night, then pulls it back up when she's cold again.

She's taking Evening Primrose Oil, and her Dr recently prescribed a bunch of other stuff for her, but not HRT.

[Pieman68]

Another one here whose good lady is subject to it at the moment

Mrs P started early at around 44 - the GP refused to accept that it could be the menopause

She doesn't sleep much, no libido, dry skin

Very little energy for anything, no social life, no motivation to go out, to exercise etc

The GPs have been next to useless. She has HRT patches, they don't seem to make any difference. She's had a test and has very low testosterone levels and has been recommended a cream, but it's not available on prescription through the NHS so she needs a private prescription for it. Massive backlog for the menopause clinic

I find it hard to believe that we're so backwards with regards to this huge issue, and it's such a lottery with regards to how much support people get depending on their GP

[PushedDover]

Funny enough I was thinking of this thread earlier today after last poting in June myself.

Boy oh boy a rough week here. All good, all fine and buoyant - then a couple of times this week at circa 8pm after a glass or two, the minutest of things just kick off an awful evening / night / following morning.
Brutal.
Stuff gets aired that can never be unheard then.

[popeyewhite]

Pieman68 said:

I find it hard to believe that we're so backwards with regards to this huge issue, and it's such a lottery with regards to how much support people get depending on their GP

I don't think we are backwards. The issue is that opinion is split between two camps - those who believe menopause is a natural state and should be weathered (in a similar way to low t in men), and those who believe in medication to relieve symptoms.

[phil1979]

I know I'm gonna get flack here but, as someone who has lived with the effects of this, do any of you believe that the menopause is sometimes used as an excuse for women to behave like complete s?

[CubanPete]

popeyewhite said:

Pieman68 said:

I find it hard to believe that we're so backwards with regards to this huge issue, and it's such a lottery with regards to how much support people get depending on their GP

I don't think we are backwards. The issue is that opinion is split between two camps - those who believe menopause is a natural state and should be weathered (in a similar way to low t in men), and those who believe in medication to relieve symptoms.

You wouldn't 'weather' depression, cancer or a broken leg. But you do weather a cold (to a degree, even then we self medicate paracetamol and ibuprofen and cough sweets). Isn't the whole point of medicine to reduce suffering as needed?

[popeyewhite]

CubanPete said:

You wouldn't 'weather' depression, cancer or a broken leg. But you do weather a cold (to a degree, even then we self medicate paracetamol and ibuprofen and cough sweets). Isn't the whole point of medicine to reduce suffering as needed?

Not all women suffer, and not all women think it necessary to medicate for a issue which isn't an illness...like a cold. You cannot compare menopause to a broken leg or cancer. Depression is not 'cured' by hrt. Perhaps you mean someone who feels lousy is therefore miserable, I can understand that, but depression is a mental illness.

[Stuart70]

phil1979 said:

I know I'm gonna get flack here but, as someone who has lived with the effects of this, do any of you believe that the menopause is sometimes used as an excuse for women to behave like complete s?

To my experience that question is so lacking in empathy as to be quite ridiculous.

My wife has been and can be a nightmare through this process, but throughout it all it is very clearly much worse to be going through it than it is to be witnessing it. And being on the outside is not always much fun, as you point out.

Clearly other partners may have different experiences / behaviours.

[geeks]

popeyewhite said:

CubanPete said:

You wouldn't 'weather' depression, cancer or a broken leg. But you do weather a cold (to a degree, even then we self medicate paracetamol and ibuprofen and cough sweets). Isn't the whole point of medicine to reduce suffering as needed?

Not all women suffer, and not all women think it necessary to medicate for a issue which isn't an illness...like a cold. You cannot compare menopause to a broken leg or cancer. Depression is not 'cured' by hrt. Perhaps you mean someone who feels lousy is therefore miserable, I can understand that, but depression is a mental illness.

I triple dare you to come the menopause to a cold with a woman going through it. I’ll even cover your funeral costs too

[popeyewhite]

geeks said:

I triple dare you to come the menopause to a cold with a woman going through it. I’ll even cover your funeral costs too

*cough*

I'll pass on that.



NB just to clarify [before I get into serious trouble] I absolutely definitely understand the menopause can be complete hell for all those involved, I'm just saying it's not an illness!

[dreamer75]

popeyewhite said:

Not all women suffer, and not all women think it necessary to medicate for a issue which isn't an illness...like a cold. You cannot compare menopause to a broken leg or cancer. Depression is not 'cured' by hrt. Perhaps you mean someone who feels lousy is therefore miserable, I can understand that, but depression is a mental illness.

There are other medical issues which low oestrogen as part of menopause can cause too. It's not just the hot flushes and bad temper. Osteoporosis etc. etc. Given that ultimately menopause is a drop in hormone levels (you could even call its a hormone deficiency) why not treat that and help avoid some of those future issues. Even if the person concerned isn't suffering from moods and hot flushes.

And if someone is having noticeable symptoms; feeling awful, etc. etc., why not treat those symptoms, so that person can get on with their life.

[PushedDover]

Gloss past the middle class fwp problems, but for context :
Mrs Pushed was making dinner last night- she's been meaning to make this particular dish of filo wrapped crab with a couscous pommegranite salad.

She gets the griddle pan out - ours is very ridged - I sugest that sh'es better off using the other pan / heavy roasting dish.


And then it began.


Its not like a cold

[popeyewhite]

dreamer75 said:

There are other medical issues which low oestrogen as part of menopause can cause too. It's not just the hot flushes and bad temper. Osteoporosis etc. etc. Given that ultimately menopause is a drop in hormone levels (you could even call its a hormone deficiency) why not treat that and help avoid some of those future issues. Even if the person concerned isn't suffering from moods and hot flushes.

If someone's health is threatened by dangerously low hormone levels then of course medication is necessary to help them function properly again. However there is no guarantee they will 'feel good'.

dreamer75 said:

And if someone is having noticeable symptoms; feeling awful, etc. etc., why not treat those symptoms, so that person can get on with their life.

Because the medical profession has a moral duty of care to 'do no harm'. If someone isn't ill a doctor in the UK won't prescribe anything.

[Scabutz]

PushedDover said:

Gloss past the middle class fwp problems, but for context :
Mrs Pushed was making dinner last night- she's been meaning to make this particular dish of filo wrapped crab with a couscous pommegranite salad.

She gets the griddle pan out - ours is very ridged - I sugest that sh'es better off using the other pan / heavy roasting dish.


And then it began.


Its not like a cold

Presumably you're posting from A&E after requring said pan removing from your rectum.

[TGCOTF-dewey]

Scabutz said:

PushedDover said:

Gloss past the middle class fwp problems, but for context :
Mrs Pushed was making dinner last night- she's been meaning to make this particular dish of filo wrapped crab with a couscous pommegranite salad.

She gets the griddle pan out - ours is very ridged - I sugest that sh'es better off using the other pan / heavy roasting dish.


And then it began.


Its not like a cold

Presumably you're posting from A&E after requring said pan removing from your rectum.

At least it was ribbed for his pleasure.

[JJ55]

Hrt is she’s at that stage and/ or antidepressants.

[ReverendCounter]

phil1979 said:

do any of you believe that the menopause is sometimes used as an excuse for women to behave like complete s?

I haven't see written evidence of the menopause being used but I've seen written evidence of women encouraging other women to be as vile as they can possibly be when they're on their periods. That was on snakesnest mumsnet.

[phil1979]

I recall seeing similar, too.

I took a lot of verbal, mental, and sometimes physical abuse at the hands of hormonal changes.

I did have sympathy for a long time, and then witnessed my father battle stage 4 bowel and liver cancer with a smile and not a single complaint or raised voice.

It was at that point I decided there are simply a lot of childish women out there looking for an excuse.

Have been a better father, and a happier person, since I left that situation.

[dreamer75]

popeyewhite said:

dreamer75 said:

There are other medical issues which low oestrogen as part of menopause can cause too. It's not just the hot flushes and bad temper. Osteoporosis etc. etc. Given that ultimately menopause is a drop in hormone levels (you could even call its a hormone deficiency) why not treat that and help avoid some of those future issues. Even if the person concerned isn't suffering from moods and hot flushes.

If someone's health is threatened by dangerously low hormone levels then of course medication is necessary to help them function properly again. However there is no guarantee they will 'feel good'.

So we're agreeing then. Low levels of oestrogen can cause other medical issues, so if someone's levels are lower than they should be, why not look at increasing them to avoid those issues. Glad we're agreeing on that one at least. And no, there's no guarantee it will make them "feel" any better.

popeyewhite said:

dreamer75 said:

And if someone is having noticeable symptoms; feeling awful, etc. etc., why not treat those symptoms, so that person can get on with their life.

Because the medical profession has a moral duty of care to 'do no harm'. If someone isn't ill a doctor in the UK won't prescribe anything.

Do no harm of course goes without saying, but we're not talking about harming someone. If someone's symptomatic - mood changes, hot flushes, depression, brain fog, not feeling themselves - you don't think that's worth treating if possible?