Is this appropriate Twitter behaviour from my Wife?
Discussion
leef44 said:
Leicester Loyal said:
She needs binning if she's not willing to listen to your concerns or thoughts.
He's thinking about the children, so not so straight forward.Better than staying together if work towards rectification cannot happen.
Op, update?
OP checking in.
I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
I'm really sorry to hear of the continued problems
I think you've been more patient than most in the situation. Time for the difficult talk about breaking up, In my opinion.
Obviously it is not easy. And can be difficult for the children, but rather break up and remain positive than hold onto continuing levels of contempt* and potential situations in the future where she begins to cheat or mess around.
Really sorry you're going through this. I'd hoped your original conversation would have been enough to nudge things in the right direction, she clearly isn't respecting your wishes nor your relationship.
I think you've been more patient than most in the situation. Time for the difficult talk about breaking up, In my opinion.
Obviously it is not easy. And can be difficult for the children, but rather break up and remain positive than hold onto continuing levels of contempt* and potential situations in the future where she begins to cheat or mess around.
Really sorry you're going through this. I'd hoped your original conversation would have been enough to nudge things in the right direction, she clearly isn't respecting your wishes nor your relationship.
Edited by CarCrazyDad on Sunday 20th February 00:16
BigQuestions said:
OP checking in.
I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
Your going through something really difficult and your doing well keeping it together. I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
I would probably suggest writing a letter and making sure your wife has it hand before you take the kids out for the day and let her read it in peace and alone.
Tell her what your thinking and that these things she is doing are crossing your boundaries, maybe put in there you think couples counselling would be a good idea. Honestly her behaviour isn’t good enough. Stay strong.
It's hard to say but stay clear headed both for you, her, the children and your future employment prospects.
Sit with her and speak about marriage counselling.
Think what is best for you. Before you came aware of Twitter use were you both happy? It's easy go hide behind keeping busy with two small children.
It's easy to think 'she should think of me' or 'she has a duty to the children' (that aspect will always be there regardless of what occurs).
It's easy to claim that she's going through a midlife crisis but maybe she's not happy and this is her release.
There are two people in this. You and her. Your happiness and hers. Don't forget hers.
Sit with her and speak about marriage counselling.
Think what is best for you. Before you came aware of Twitter use were you both happy? It's easy go hide behind keeping busy with two small children.
It's easy to think 'she should think of me' or 'she has a duty to the children' (that aspect will always be there regardless of what occurs).
It's easy to claim that she's going through a midlife crisis but maybe she's not happy and this is her release.
There are two people in this. You and her. Your happiness and hers. Don't forget hers.
Have you asked her point blank what it is she wants going forward from the marriage/relationship and what she is trying to achieve by doing this and whether she thinks its acceptable behaviour?
Sounds dreadful, agree a good Councillor would be worthwhile if you can get her to attend. But it sounds like she has some deep routed issues, does she still love you or is it self esteem related.
Keep strong, keep venting on here but don't let it linger.
Sounds dreadful, agree a good Councillor would be worthwhile if you can get her to attend. But it sounds like she has some deep routed issues, does she still love you or is it self esteem related.
Keep strong, keep venting on here but don't let it linger.
si_xsi said:
Have you asked her point blank what it is she wants going forward from the marriage/relationship and what she is trying to achieve by doing this and whether she thinks its acceptable behaviour?
Sounds dreadful, agree a good Councillor would be worthwhile if you can get her to attend. But it sounds like she has some deep routed issues, does she still love you or is it self esteem related.
Keep strong, keep venting on here but don't let it linger.
Very good question and very good approach.Sounds dreadful, agree a good Councillor would be worthwhile if you can get her to attend. But it sounds like she has some deep routed issues, does she still love you or is it self esteem related.
Keep strong, keep venting on here but don't let it linger.
The only person you should be talking to is her and you telling her how you feel about it. Nobody here knows you or your Mrs or understands your reality or the situation.
This is all the product of poor communication between the two of you. If she won’t talk try to get someone impartial like a marriage councillor to mediate, also she’ll know you’re serious about it if you suggest that.
Asking people here will be unlikely to help as you’ll probably ignore the responses you don’t like and agree with the ones that support your thoughts.
This is all the product of poor communication between the two of you. If she won’t talk try to get someone impartial like a marriage councillor to mediate, also she’ll know you’re serious about it if you suggest that.
Asking people here will be unlikely to help as you’ll probably ignore the responses you don’t like and agree with the ones that support your thoughts.
BigQuestions said:
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers?
Wasn’t she a bit chilly?Hugo Stiglitz said:
There are two people in this. You and her. Your happiness and hers. Don't forget hers.
She has a total disregard for his happiness when shes flaunting herself on the marketplace.I get it, if hes into that sort of thing then fine, but dirty tactics can only be fought back with dirty tactics
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
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