Is this appropriate Twitter behaviour from my Wife?
Discussion
BigQuestions said:
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Is she going out all dolled up ? Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
[quote=BigQuestions
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me.
[/quote]
Have you asked her that exact question.....'why are you getting all glammed up to just take selfies when shopping '...or are you avoiding creating a scene ?
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me.
[/quote]
Have you asked her that exact question.....'why are you getting all glammed up to just take selfies when shopping '...or are you avoiding creating a scene ?
BigQuestions said:
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Jesus, fella, she needs a rocket up her arse to be honest. Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Have you considered packing her stuff up and leaving it on the front lawn and telling her to fxxk off and leave you and the kids to get on with it?
Don’t wish to be rude, but she sounds incredibly vacuous at best, and downright abusive toward you and the kids at worst.
You should not be putting up with this s
t, not at all. When confronted with the cold light of day that your sick of her bulls
t, she may snap out of it. Or she make clear off, in which case I cannot help but think you’ll be better off. Unbelievable way to treat her family.
BigQuestions said:
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Couple of alarm bells in your latest post. Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Serious work issues? What have you got if you don’t have family? Frankly work can f
k off if you have family problems. This goes along with the work thing ie your effort in the relationship and neglect of it. If she’s making effort for other people to see and enjoys the gratification of that and then at home getting into comfy clothes that suggest to me she’s either happy with you (doesn’t sound like it) or more likely she isn’t getting what she needs from you. She isn’t a performing monkey so don’t expect her to be dressed up ready to present her behind to you at your whim.
What she’s doing doesn’t sound right but your last post was a bit more revealing about your part. As has been suggested couples therapy or counselling. You don’t sound like you are able to talk it out yourselves so get some professional help.
Get some help before it’s to late.
Best of luck OP, she sounds like she's a real piss taker.
IMHO, if you want her to change her ways you need to stand up to her and tell her to sort her st out or ps off (literally). You may be calling her bluff but she's going to walk all over you and in turn she respects you even less, hence at least whatever happens you wont feel like a total doormat.
Might not be the nice answer your looking for but it will work one way or the other, if she leaves, just think she will be somebody else's problem.
IMHO, if you want her to change her ways you need to stand up to her and tell her to sort her s
t out or ps off (literally). You may be calling her bluff but she's going to walk all over you and in turn she respects you even less, hence at least whatever happens you wont feel like a total doormat.Might not be the nice answer your looking for but it will work one way or the other, if she leaves, just think she will be somebody else's problem.
BigQuestions said:
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
OP are you certain that she is just living a 'fantasy life' on Insta/Twitter or is she actually going through with any physicals with other blokes?Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
You do realise that there are loads of women like this on social media making themselves available for a no strings attached bunk up, don't you?
If this were me all the trust would already be long gone. I'd have fitted a GPS tracker to her car to see where she was actually going, compared to where she said she was going. I'd wager the two locations aren't the same. Failing that, get a burner phone and a fake Insta profile, add a few followers, gain a few followers so you don't look like a total newb, then add her and see what happens. If she's a "DMs Open" kinda girl you need a frank and honest convo with her.
PurpleTurtle said:
OP are you certain that she is just living a 'fantasy life' on Insta/Twitter or is she actually going through with any physicals with other blokes?
You do realise that there are loads of women like this on social media making themselves available for a no strings attached bunk up, don't you?
If this were me all the trust would already be long gone. I'd have fitted a GPS tracker to her car to see where she was actually going, compared to where she said she was going. I'd wager the two locations aren't the same. Failing that, get a burner phone and a fake Insta profile, add a few followers, gain a few followers so you don't look like a total newb, then add her and see what happens. If she's a "DMs Open" kinda girl you need a frank and honest convo with her.
Also maybe send her a few racey messages and see how she replies . You do realise that there are loads of women like this on social media making themselves available for a no strings attached bunk up, don't you?
If this were me all the trust would already be long gone. I'd have fitted a GPS tracker to her car to see where she was actually going, compared to where she said she was going. I'd wager the two locations aren't the same. Failing that, get a burner phone and a fake Insta profile, add a few followers, gain a few followers so you don't look like a total newb, then add her and see what happens. If she's a "DMs Open" kinda girl you need a frank and honest convo with her.
Assuming all this of course is a genuine thread
OP, your wife sounds very much like someone who married before 25 and had kids soon after. However, one would hope she has the maturity to behave appropriately.
Although this may be bordering controversial, I quickly tire of girls who spend time curating social media posts. As far as I can tell, they are still living their best lives (restaurants, travels, champagne and designer puppies) and I am living happily with someone who desires no social media attention.
Good luck.
Although this may be bordering controversial, I quickly tire of girls who spend time curating social media posts. As far as I can tell, they are still living their best lives (restaurants, travels, champagne and designer puppies) and I am living happily with someone who desires no social media attention.
Good luck.
GilletteFan said:
Although this may be bordering controversial, I quickly tire of girls who spend time curating social media posts. As far as I can tell, they are still living their best lives (restaurants, travels, champagne and designer puppies) and I am living happily with someone who desires no social media attention.
Good luck.
100%. It’s an attention fueled disaster zone.Good luck.
oldaudi said:
I’ve glanced through most of this thread, but have you thought about creating a fake Facebook/Twitter/Instagram account and then interacting with her anonymously? You might learn how she interacts with strangers
I would suggest that just leads to a road of mental torture. After all, even if she wasn't actually cheating, it's not exactly ideal that she's carrying on that way. Besides, even if he learns she's acting inappropriately, he can't confront her with it without being accused of spying or being controlling. In any event, the problem isn't so much what she does with these people, but the fact that she's flaunting herself in the first place. It may be attention seeking, a cry for help, or outright cheating, who knows. In the absence of an admission, or psychic powers, there's a lot to be said for the idea of "you can't control what others do, but you can control how you react". It it were me I'd tackle it by taking control of my life and let her worry about hers, by saying something like this:
"I'm not happy with what you do on social media, as it feels to me like cheating. You may not actually be cheating, and you may not think you're doing anything wrong. That may be true but, whatever the case, it's just wrong for me. It makes me sad to think that you're not happy with me, but I'm a grown man and realistic enough to know that these things happen. Ideally, I'd very much like to make things better between us, if that's what you want too. However, if you prefer to carry on as you are, then that's your right to do, it just doesn't work for me, and so it's best I move on."
Approaching it this way means you're not acccusing anyone of anything, or giving them any opportunity to deny, defend, excuse or minimise what they're doing. You're not triggering any defensive reaction, or being controlling. If it's is a cry for help, then you've given her the opportunity to take you up on your offer of making things bettter. If it isn't then you've made it clear that you won't allow your happiness to be at the merrcy of her behaviours.
Be prepared, she may well say that you're being silly, or overreacting, as it's only harmless fun. Don't fall into the trap of getting drawn into such arguments. Instead just calmly agree and tell her she's probably right, but that's just how you feel and you're unhappy, so it's best that you move on rather than make her unhappy by trying to impose your "silly" feelings on her. Nothing stops a woman in her tracks faster than agreeing with her and calmly telling her that you're probably not what she's looking for.
oldaudi said:
I’ve glanced through most of this thread, but have you thought about creating a fake Facebook/Twitter/Instagram account and then interacting with her anonymously? You might learn how she interacts with strangers
OP not been heard of in quite some time. Maybe he’s decided if you can’t beat them join them and is now acting like Gareth from ‘The Office ‘ riding around in the side car
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