Is this appropriate Twitter behaviour from my Wife?

Is this appropriate Twitter behaviour from my Wife?

Author
Discussion

BigQuestions

Original Poster:

13 posts

27 months

Tuesday 18th January 2022
quotequote all
OP checking in.

No, I never got to see the boots in action frown

The split in responses on this thread confirms to me that this is a borderline issue.

Some of the comments really hit home, especially about her boredom and seeking attention and validation. She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful. It's the same old story of us looking after young kids, stressful jobs, being tired out the whole time, no childcare support, etc. I guess we haven't had much "us" time.

I haven't raised the whole social media issue with her again yet and her profiles are still private. I'm hoping that the private profile is her way of stopping the pervs from sending unsolicited comments and pics.

My plan is to give her some space online and not to raise it as an issue. If it turns out she runs off with this b-tier musician, then so be it. Time will tell if this was the right decision.

Carlososos

976 posts

96 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
BigQuestions said:
OP checking in.

No, I never got to see the boots in action frown

The split in responses on this thread confirms to me that this is a borderline issue.

Some of the comments really hit home, especially about her boredom and seeking attention and validation. She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful. It's the same old story of us looking after young kids, stressful jobs, being tired out the whole time, no childcare support, etc. I guess we haven't had much "us" time.

I haven't raised the whole social media issue with her again yet and her profiles are still private. I'm hoping that the private profile is her way of stopping the pervs from sending unsolicited comments and pics.

My plan is to give her some space online and not to raise it as an issue. If it turns out she runs off with this b-tier musician, then so be it. Time will tell if this was the right decision.
Your being very respectful and that’s to be admired. I wouldn’t leave it though. It doesn’t have to be a big argument. For me if this happened I would want to talk through why certain things make you feel uneasy and take it from there. It could be the best thing that ever happened and opens new doors for your relationship. If left it could be the end as she does want something that isn’t happening.

interstellar

3,287 posts

146 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
I agree, it needs to be discussed or she isn’t respecting your feelings either.

If you let it go it’s almost like a green light for her to see what happens and then it’s too late.

I would talk to her.

Edited by interstellar on Wednesday 19th January 06:23

Douglas Quaid

2,280 posts

85 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
I wonder who did see the sexy underwear and boots then?

RicksAlfas

13,387 posts

244 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
OP, is there no way you can manage a night/weekend away without the kids?

anonymous-user

54 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
BigQuestions said:
Every evening, she is glued to her phone typing away. I have no idea who she is talking to or what photos she is sharing.
BigQuestions said:
No, I never got to see the boots in action frown

She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful.
As I said earlier, she is 100% searching for attention and validation at the moment. The problem is all of her friends will be telling her how amazing she looks, and she will believe the men she is conversing with "understand her". She will be telling them how mundane and boring her life is, how you barely look at her and they will be replying "Your husband is crazy, if I was him I would be treating you like a princess".

Of course none of this is reality, but on the one hand she has her current mundane life (like everybody else) and on the other she believes there is this exciting, better one out there for her. Of course all of these men are telling her what she wants to hear, none of them would actually be interested in anything more than sex if she was actually single.

Douglas Quaid said:
I wonder who did see the sexy underwear and boots then?
Probably nobody, but it is all practice and build up for if she decides there is something more out there for her.

halo34

2,437 posts

199 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
What about some mediation - the problem with leaving it be is that it might bubble over and end up blowing up rather than being dealt with.

A 3rd party might help extract some truth and diplomacy and give you both a focal point to try and find a comfortable way forward.

Candellara

1,876 posts

182 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
Joey Deacon said:
BigQuestions said:
Every evening, she is glued to her phone typing away. I have no idea who she is talking to or what photos she is sharing.
BigQuestions said:
No, I never got to see the boots in action frown

She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful.
As I said earlier, she is 100% searching for attention and validation at the moment. The problem is all of her friends will be telling her how amazing she looks, and she will believe the men she is conversing with "understand her". She will be telling them how mundane and boring her life is, how you barely look at her and they will be replying "Your husband is crazy, if I was him I would be treating you like a princess".

Of course none of this is reality, but on the one hand she has her current mundane life (like everybody else) and on the other she believes there is this exciting, better one out there for her. Of course all of these men are telling her what she wants to hear, none of them would actually be interested in anything more than sex if she was actually single.

Douglas Quaid said:
I wonder who did see the sexy underwear and boots then?
Probably nobody, but it is all practice and build up for if she decides there is something more out there for her.
You sound as though you speak from experience? 100% accurate IMO

Hugo Stiglitz

37,116 posts

211 months

Wednesday 19th January 2022
quotequote all
Personally if it happened to me I'd be questioning what is going on.

Cleavage, boots, knickers and 'don't send me dick pics' says do to me.

She's willingly in contact with men and signalling her femininity without explaining she's married etc.

I wouldn't class it as borderline. She's positioning herself. You need some grown up one to one conversations with her.

How would she feel if you did exactly the same?

BigQuestions

Original Poster:

13 posts

27 months

Thursday 20th January 2022
quotequote all
OP update-

Just a note to say she was never pretending to be single on these profiles. That doesn't stop the eager boys from contacting her and replying with inappropriate images and videos it seems.

Anyway, I tried raising my concerns with her saying I have no idea what she is up to on there and that I saw weird stuff when her profile was open. She reassured me that she isn't doing anything like that, blah blah. I noticed she has just deleted her profiles too. Lets see how long they are down for.


Sheets Tabuer

18,950 posts

215 months

Thursday 20th January 2022
quotequote all
As I said earlier in this thread women are getting bombarded, even ugly women that most Phers are with.

be open and honest and have them be the same with you they won't bugger off because you're a controlling weirdo

CharlesdeGaulle

26,242 posts

180 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
Sheets Tabuer said:
As I said earlier in this thread women are getting bombarded, even ugly women that most Phers are with.
That's a bold and rather ungallant call. Speak for yourself though mate.

housen

2,366 posts

192 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
its hard not to be jel i know


but imagine if u as a man could go on the internet take your top off and post a pic and 10000 women send u a pic of their puss


would be fun eh

its the internets fault not your wifes sadly


Sheets Tabuer

18,950 posts

215 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
CharlesdeGaulle said:
That's a bold and rather ungallant call. Speak for yourself though mate.
I've been single for years, I was just wondering who I could reel in biggrin

CharlesdeGaulle

26,242 posts

180 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
Sheets Tabuer said:
CharlesdeGaulle said:
That's a bold and rather ungallant call. Speak for yourself though mate.
I've been single for years, I was just wondering who I could reel in biggrin
Me too, well, divorced, but I only shag babes laugh

(And very slightly nutty foreign chicks)

anonymous-user

54 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
housen said:
its hard not to be jel i know


but imagine if u as a man could go on the internet take your top off and post a pic and 10000 women send u a pic of their puss


would be fun eh

its the internets fault not your wifes sadly
It is slightly difficult to decipher what you are saying, however I think you are suggesting that situations like this are entirely the fault of the communication medium, rather than the people involved?

That is quite an alternative point of view.

southendpier

5,254 posts

229 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
if it was Meat Loaf then you're sorted now .

leef44

4,381 posts

153 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
Lord Marylebone said:
housen said:
its hard not to be jel i know


but imagine if u as a man could go on the internet take your top off and post a pic and 10000 women send u a pic of their puss


would be fun eh

its the internets fault not your wifes sadly
It is slightly difficult to decipher what you are saying, however I think you are suggesting that situations like this are entirely the fault of the communication medium, rather than the people involved?

That is quite an alternative point of view.
Yes that was what I was thinking. A bit like crashing into a tree and blaming the tree for being there.

SturdyHSV

10,094 posts

167 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
southendpier said:
if it was Meat Loaf then you're sorted now .
rofl

Jamescrs

4,479 posts

65 months

Friday 21st January 2022
quotequote all
southendpier said:
if it was Meat Loaf then you're sorted now .
Deserving of recognition

hehe