I see no real purpose in living

I see no real purpose in living

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Super Sonic

4,518 posts

53 months

Monday 6th March 2023
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Hi James good to hear from you. Mental health problems are common, I heard 1/4 people experience them at some point, but the services that deal with it are aware that it affects everyone differently. There are various different coping techniques, tools and strategies available. None of them are a magic wand though, you have to find what works for you, for instance if you have counseling you talk about what YOU want to talk about. You may be of the opinion that talking about your problems doesn't make them go away, but speaking about them lets you get your thoughts in order and stops them going round and round in your head. There are other techniques available that other people may have experience of, but I found counseling worked for me. It was six forty minute sessions iirc, and can be repeated as and when. Medication can help but as I say, you have to find which suits you. Don't go thinking your gonna be doped up for the rest of your life, you can use them when you feel bad and then gradually come off them, but keep your GP informed. As someone suggested, it may help to move out of your 'comfort zone' a little, it doesn't mean doing scary stuff like hang gliding, but just changing your routine maybe finding a hobby if you have time, or just something like listening to a different kind of music. I did get to the point where listening to the same tunes over and over actually made me angry, then I started listening to classical which I found relaxing, the sounds of the instruments and the fact I hadn't heard it before. Your milage may vary. One important point though, ultimately it is up to you. Other people are important and will definitely help, but you have to want to. We all have free will and make our own decisions.
Anyway onwards and upwards. You will have bad days but they will pass. Nothing is permanent. Things can and will get better.
All the best, Super.

DS129

137 posts

70 months

Thursday 9th March 2023
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Hi James, how are you ?
You have a lot of support on here, keep positive and you will get through this.

Super Sonic

4,518 posts

53 months

Thursday 9th March 2023
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Don't give up James. Situations can always change. You do have to be proactive though. I'm hoping some of the advice on here has helped. There are a lot of people rooting for you on here. We're all hoping you're ok. Things are tough this time of year with the stty weather, but it will be spring soon and hopefully that will help you start feeling better. All the best, Super.

sinbaddio

2,357 posts

175 months

Thursday 9th March 2023
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Ah James,

We all battle our demons, and it is a battle. There is so much support for you here, and you deserve it.

We deal with these things in our own different ways, there isn't a precsribed single solution that works for everyone. I deal with it each day at a time but I have a few golden rules, which have worked for me:

1: Make your bed when you get up - do it well. It's the start of a new day and you're doing it right
2. Exercise - 1 pressup is a starter
2: Make the most of yourself. Shower, shave, hair - if you look a million dollars then you feel it too

Here's a few blogs I wrote - there is a way out, stay positive James!

https://thepast-thepresent-future.blogspot.com/201...

https://thepast-thepresent-future.blogspot.com/201...

superlightr

12,842 posts

262 months

Friday 10th March 2023
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sinbaddio said:
Ah James,

We all battle our demons, and it is a battle. There is so much support for you here, and you deserve it.

We deal with these things in our own different ways, there isn't a precsribed single solution that works for everyone. I deal with it each day at a time but I have a few golden rules, which have worked for me:

1: Make your bed when you get up - do it well. It's the start of a new day and you're doing it right
2. Exercise - 1 pressup is a starter
2: Make the most of yourself. Shower, shave, hair - if you look a million dollars then you feel it too

Here's a few blogs I wrote - there is a way out, stay positive James!

https://thepast-thepresent-future.blogspot.com/201...

https://thepast-thepresent-future.blogspot.com/201...
excellent advice. Influence the things you can.

each step helps.

Im a James as well and am sending positive thoughts and wishes in your direction as are everyone else on PH.

Gary29

4,131 posts

98 months

Friday 10th March 2023
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I know how you feel, you're not alone out there!

I made the decision this morning to walk to work because of the snow, 4 miles, absolute bliss. Nice to take the small positives however insignificant they might sound.


MrBig

2,638 posts

128 months

Friday 10th March 2023
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Hi James, just checking in with you. Hope you're doing ok and a reminder that you are more than welcome to PM me for a chat.

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Friday 10th March 2023
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Good luck James. Keep going.

Even Tyson Fury, Ed Sheeran, Winston Churchill etc have been badly affected by the black dog.

You will come through this.

UTH

8,865 posts

177 months

Friday 10th March 2023
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Not much I can add that's of help, just throwing my hat in the ring of hoping you figure out how to feel better, I'm sure there are so many people who care about you and wouldn't want you feeling down. You're my age and I can't imagine what it must be like feeling the way you do. Please stick to the Dr's appointment, it can only be a good thing to get some help. Keep us posted, people you don't even know are rooting for you.

James_33

Original Poster:

545 posts

65 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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Afternoon everyone

So how have i been, well i decided to take on a new project, that project being redecoration of the dining room as it was due freshening up anyway, and to try and take my mind off of what's being bothering me mentally, I actually feel like doing this has given me a purpose and taken my mind off of recent bereavements by giving me something to focus on, however its not all been good news.

I am still finding it hard to put the effort in to keep my bloods under control from my type 1 diabetes, I make the effort, then try testing my bloods to see results i don't like, so then i end up thinking why bother, that then leads to comfort eating, and that in turn makes me worse, feeling very tired, no energy or motivation to put more effort in so then i give up, that's when the depression shows its ugly head and leads me into thinking negatively.

Still 2 weeks to go until my appointment with the GP, feels like a lifetime away.

Super Sonic

4,518 posts

53 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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At least you ear doing something! I don't know about diabetes but assume your blood sugar is something you have a little control over even if it takes perseverance.
The dr's appointment sounds like it is a long way in the future, but it will be here before you know it. Do not bottle out and do not tell yourself you don't really need it.
I'm sure you will feel better after. You're doing well, taking charge of your future by decorating, and it does actually mean you are looking to the future rather than being stuck in the present, so well done. You need to keep up the good work even though you will have bad days, just remember there is a future to look forward to. You will probably feel better when you've decorated, as you will have a daily reminder that you can do stuff and can make a difference. Well done, keep it up.
All the best, Super.

mike9009

6,918 posts

242 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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James_33 said:
Afternoon everyone

So how have i been, well i decided to take on a new project, that project being redecoration of the dining room as it was due freshening up anyway, and to try and take my mind off of what's being bothering me mentally, I actually feel like doing this has given me a purpose and taken my mind off of recent bereavements by giving me something to focus on, however its not all been good news.

I am still finding it hard to put the effort in to keep my bloods under control from my type 1 diabetes, I make the effort, then try testing my bloods to see results i don't like, so then i end up thinking why bother, that then leads to comfort eating, and that in turn makes me worse, feeling very tired, no energy or motivation to put more effort in so then i give up, that's when the depression shows its ugly head and leads me into thinking negatively.

Still 2 weeks to go until my appointment with the GP, feels like a lifetime away.
Hi James, good to hear from you..... You remind me that our whole house needs decorating again... but the reward once completed is worth focusing on.

I am not sure if you use Libre or some other continuous glucose monitoring system? I found it really helped me, except the roller coaster of blood sugar levels suddenly becomes really apparent. Some of the associated Facebook groups can be quite helpful until you get the zero carb crowd show up. smile.

It is frustrating when you either run through the night above 13 or a day of continual lows and the inevitable huge spike when you finally negate the insulin floating around the body. My two T1D mates are also exactly the same with figures all over the shop for no apparent reason.

I 'pig out' on a big bag of doritos sometimes but have learnt the precise amount of insulin to negate some of my worse habits, but I still cock it up regularly.... needing some correction one way or the other.....

imck

778 posts

106 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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Hi James,

Decorating the dining room sounds like a real positive.
I have had real problems motivating myself to do things when feeling meh.

Siko

1,976 posts

241 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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Good idea doing a project! Just an idea but during my cancer treatment I found going out for a dog walk everyday helped my mental health no end…but of fresh air and seeing a happy dog was good for me too. All the best, Si

rallye101

1,865 posts

196 months

Sunday 12th March 2023
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I wish you well James,

It's a funny old contribution here, so far today I've cleared up cat puke, cat st, my partners full of cold and I've had to take my kid to football for an 0830am start, I've come back and now dinner starts....life can be st.....you're not alone!!!! Xx

Slowboathome

3,242 posts

43 months

Monday 13th March 2023
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Hi James

When I was in a very dark place in 2020 my therapist advised me, among other things, to do one thing each day that I could complete in that day. For example, the washing up. It gives you a feeling of agency. I think the trick is not to try too much - some days just cleaning your teeth is the achievement for that day.

Also, there's a saying 'This too shall pass'. I was really struggling for about 10 months but gradually found my way out of the pit with the help of medication and a good therapist.

Super Sonic

4,518 posts

53 months

Saturday 18th March 2023
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Hi James just wanted to say hope you're well, how's the decorating going?

GloverMart

11,773 posts

214 months

Sunday 19th March 2023
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Slowboathome said:
Hi James

When I was in a very dark place in 2020 my therapist advised me, among other things, to do one thing each day that I could complete in that day. For example, the washing up. It gives you a feeling of agency. I think the trick is not to try too much - some days just cleaning your teeth is the achievement for that day.
Heard something similar from the "Diary Of A CEO" podcast that Steven Bartlett did with the personal trainer James Smith. He said that so many people fail to reach their target or miss out on what they are trying to do simply by making the mistake of making the challenge too big to cope with. For example, if you need to lose six stone, make your first target to lose half a stone. (a) you'll probably achieve it and (b) if you do achieve it, you'll do so much quicker than losing the six stone. That also means that you'll "achieve" more often too and thus be in a better place psychologically.

Wishing you well, James, baby steps is all you need. And although it's still a while till your appointment, it's much nearer now than when you made it eighteen days ago. clap

Polly Grigora

11,209 posts

108 months

Monday 20th March 2023
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Keep as much as you can simple. don't complicate anything

James_33

Original Poster:

545 posts

65 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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Hello everyone, it's been a while since i last updated this thread, so thought i would comment, I went to my appointment to see the doctor, unfortunately a review on my diabetic management was also due, I also got a referral for my eyes checking over to see if anything had worsened there, sadly my vision has got worse (not as i can see) but damage has been done through the diabetes, which more than likely will finish my job off as i will more than likely have my license revoked.

I was also told i have high blood pressure, which on top of my type 1 and a kidney disease i inherited genetically years ago means i am in pretty poor condition when you take the mental health into the equation too.

I have now pretty much given up, the doctor has said nothing over my mental health other than to carry on taking my existing medication, and come back for a review later, seems i am nothing more than a statistic amongst the many thousands out there who will be just like me.